spn-moosechester

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You know, Sam Winchester gets a lot of flack for the fact that all of his girlfriends die but at least it’s always a random thing. Dean on the other hand?? So much worse!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a Dean stan till I die but it is undeniably crazy.

My man had three boyfriends and all of them died. The big difference is the fact that they all died the exact same way. Dean (though however unintentional) convinced three supernatural beings to LITERALLY KILL THEMSELVES FOR HIM!!

He had all of them so deeply in love with him, he didn’t even have to really ask.

First we have Benny

He fell hard for Dean in Purgatory and was kinda dependent on him outside of it. It hurt Benny a ton when Dean had to cut contact because of Sam. Even then, he still willingly died and went back to the place he had tried for so long to escape. All for Dean and to make sure he was happy.

Then we have the King himself, Crowley.

Dude stabbed himself in the chest to give Dean time to escape. No illusion or trick, just a straight up suicide bomb to distract Lucifer. He clearly caught serious feelings for Dean over the years, especially after he got the mark and turned into a demon. Even though Dean straight up rejected him, he still was too deep in love. He committed suicide to keep him safe.

Then there’s the one and only, Castiel.

He died for Dean multiple times and had been in love with him for so long but this last one was really it. He confessed how much he loved Dean to his face! He said I love you! Knowing he would die if he did! All to save Dean! All to give him a chance! FUCK IM GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE THIS ONE HURTS!

Basically, Dean had men falling over each other to sacrifice themselves because they were so in love with him and he still had the gall to think he was unlovable.

In conclusion, Dean Winchester is the most oblivious man in the universe.

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rewatching season 4-5 is like. one part of me genuinely does think early seasons destiel was mainly aimed at jokes and thinly veiled microaggressions. HOWEVER. carver writing point of no return, where dean lashes out at everyone he cares about and hits them where it hurts most - the context of his attack on cas is waaay too carefully thought out. dean tells bobby he isn’t his real dad; tells sam he doesn’t believe in him; and tells cas to blow him, that the last person who looked at him like that means he got laid, and winks at him. nevermind the extremely tension-ridden scene it’s followed by where cas beats the shit out of him. what makes this so different is that the attack is targeted and calculated, and carver decided dean’s choice of action against cas would be - flirting. which is an insane choice. he could have chosen to make light of their friendship. or to poke at his fall from heaven. but no. instead, what hurts the most is to air out the unaddressed tension between them. this is in season FIVE!!!! carver textually decided to make cas’ treatment distinctly different from dean’s other family. destiel was baked into the show from so early on and therefore walking it back later to suggest that even if CAS had feelings, dean didn’t reciprocate is - frankly - absolutely bonkers. if anything this is a far stronger indicator that dean knew exactly what was going on between them at this point, even if cas didn’t know or couldn’t put a name to it yet

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spn scripts make me sick bc wdym dean was supposed to say "i love you" in the crypt scene??? wdym cas was supposed to go to his own personal heaven that was full of pictures of dean?? wdym dean spread cas' ashes in a field by a windmill bc he thought cas would have liked it?? wdym dean was supposed to tell cas "i wanted you to stay" in his purgatory prayer?? wdym that while dean was worrying about them dying cas was thinking about how beautiful dean was??? wdym sam was supposed to mention cas while dean was dying???? i am physically unwell.

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destiel is like. i dont even know what it's like. it's a closed practice. you shouldnt watch supernatural . and you shouldnt appropriate our holidays because you dont celebrate in a cas honoring way. i went to fifteen years of supernatural school to learn how to act appropriately devout and people on the street who skimmed a tweet once think they know as much about supernatural as i do genius. i'm lost in this metaphor. sorry

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- I was told this story once, about an angel with a crack in his chassis.

– Funny turn of phrase.

- Agreed.

– So what happened to him? This angel with a crack in his chassis.

- He fell in love with a mechanic.

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The class traitor discourse is especially funny to me bc sam and dean aren't working class in any real way. They exist outside of society, they don't pay taxes or rent, they never worry about how to pay for gas or food or ammo, they never have to sleep in the car bc they can't afford a motel and they talk about how shitty those motels are but the ones we see are always perfectly fine. Spn gestures at a working class background for the sake of the blue-collar americana masculine aesthetic but it isn't relevant at all to how the winchesters live

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the thing abt those actor guys that really makes me laugh is their respective attitudes toward supernatural like. jared padalecki, who is a terrible actor, seemed desperate to leave and put his whole pussy into walker, a show which was doomed to be terrible from the start, partially bc it is the cw's walker but mostly due to its lead actor being jared padalecki. meanwhile, jensen ackles cant seem to move on and is putting HIS whole pussy into various reboots and spinoffs and even started a production company about it, despite the fact that he's actually a pretty decent actor who could easily move on to bigger and better things. and then misha collins seems to be the only one reacting appropriately to the show (his only source of relevance ie his only source of self-worth) ending, which is to say he got divorced, released some vaguely homoerotic poetry, came out as bisexual, came out as straight, and accidentally endorsed a brazilian fascist. here's to the reboot 🫡

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millions of people live through each day of their lives without ever having the thought "let me look it up on the supernatural transcripts website" or "oh yeah let me just find something at the supernatural screencaps website" couldn't be us though

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god i love him so fucking much he doesn’t even need his powers to exorcise demons they’re just that afraid of him that’s just literally sam winchester

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jensen knows lore even i didn't know

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character who never appeared in cw’s supernatural: abel, the brother of cain (who was a character on the show meant to mirror dean) and the other main character in biblical cain’s story, literally cain’s entire story in the bible is about how he murdered his brother and they never even casted anyone to play him

character who did appear in cw’s supernatural: colette, the oc wife of cain (yes thee biblical cain of “cain that dude who murders his brother”) who only exists so that they can mirror cain’s relationship with colette to dean’s relationship with cas (heterosexually of course)

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dean: hrrng what are those stupid bastard angels up to now. i'm trying to enjoy this bacon burger

sam's subplot:

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It's my 10 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

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i hate that twitter post going around that's like "what's america's great epic?" shut up you know what it is. its supernatural