NSFW Blog; Level 19; She/Her; College Sophmore I LOVE feedback. As long as it's constructive, I will take all the feedback/criticism
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a writing competition i was going to participate in again this year has announced that they now allow AI generated content to be submitted
their reasoning being that "we couldn't ban it even if we wanted to, every writer already uses it anyway"
"Every writer"?
come on
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Hey Sam!! Happy Birthday!! 💖💖💖 I hope you've had a wonderful day, friend.~
Yep! The big two oh! Thank you so much for the birthday wishes and hope you have a wonderful day as well!
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Everyone deserves a bit of luck (and I'm too superstitious to not reblog it)
so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god
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You’re not just building characters, you’re excavating parts of yourself you didn’t know were buried under survival mode. You’re writing longing and rage and softness and ache into people who never existed, because sometimes that’s the only way to explain you.
You write loneliness disguised as love stories.
You write power in the mouths of characters who look nothing like you, because you needed to feel powerful somewhere.
You write grief in metaphors because writing it plain would break you.
This isn’t just storytelling.
This is transmutation.
This is how you turn shame into poetry. How you make sense of your own history by wrapping it in fiction. How you scream without making a sound.
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You cannot tell me that Dean Winchester, raised on a steady diet of pop culture and movies isn't the biggest sucker for stupid romantic gestures.
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Gonna try my luck on tumblr again with cod fanart? I feel like nobody who follows me on my other platforms cares for my interest in cod so maybe I'll get new people here? Hello? Pls
This is all I've got so far cause I have no push to draw more fanart when nobody cares about it haha
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Thanks for the tag, Alex! Sorry, it took so long to get this out. The end of the semester is kicking my butt!
In no specific order:
Girls, Girls, Girls [One Shot] Dean x OFC (Smut)
While on a witch hunt Dean gets hit with a spell. Later at the hotel, Dean feels the effects of the spell and Tori has to help him through it
The Broken Heart Trilogy [Mini Series] Dean x OFC (Contains Smut)
Basically a what would happen if Dean got drunk and cheated on my OFC, Tori. Non-canon compliant to the long form fic I have in development
FMLYHM [One Shot] Jake Seresin x OFC (Smut)
Tatum and Hangman butted heads during their time at Top Gun, but when they are both called back for some unknown mission, tensions finally come to a head
Run Baby Run [One Shot] Demon Dean x OFC (Smut)
Tori was trying to be sneaky. But when Dean spots her at the bar he tracks her to her motel room and she tries to convince him to come back home
She Keeps Me Up [One Shot] Soldier Boy x OFC (Smut)
Odessa just can't resist Ben when he wears his suit
Coming back at you! <3
Fic author's self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass this on to at least five other authors. Let’s spread self-love!
So this is long overdue, but I'm all about sharing the love!
Self Rec Favorites:
Rumors
Not a Dry Pair
Trust You With My Heart
Run to You {in progress}
The Girlfriend Who Remade Christmas {in progress}
Author Rec:
Of course you, my lovely, Yvette! @justagirlinafandomworld
@coffee-obsessed-writer // @impala-dreamer // @princessmisery666 // @rizlowwritessortof // @talltalesandbedtimestories
@thinkinghardhardlythinking // @thoughtslikeaminefield // @wayward-and-worn // @waywardbaby
All of these authors have inspired me in some form and I will be forever grateful for them.
Ack! There are so many more. I have an A to Z blog rec list. Go find some new favorite blogs or show some love to those you already follow.
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Can't wait to read these when they come out, Alex! You always do such a good job writing our favorite lovable asshole
I've been reading stuff for Soldier Boy on Tumblr for about a week and I just wanted to let you know (one writer to the other) your stories for him are the best there are on the whole internet. Love them SO much! Please keep them up!
Aw thank you!!! I'm so glad you're enjoying my Soldier Boy stories. 💚💚 He's not an easy character to write for. 😂
But there are a few writers I love who do a great job of writing SB. Check them out here: Soldier Boy Fic Recs
I actually have a couple of stories coming up for Soldier Boy in May:
✦ I've Got You

A one-shot for the Break Me Down-verse, set after Calculated Risks.
Summary: Being pregnant with a supe’s baby isn’t easy, even the second time around. The good news is, your husband is all too willing to help you relieve a certain craving.
Posting on Patreon - 5/02
Posting on Tumblr/Ao3 - 5/11
✦ Unravel Me

A Soldier Boy x POC!Reader series to follow Lost in Translation.
Summary: In the wake of Vought Tower finally falling, you find yourself crossing paths with Soldier Boy. Rogue, weakened, dangerous, and hunted, he needs a place to hide. You’re not about to offer up your own home to shelter a supe wanted by Homelander and the CIA…but he’s also not going to let you refuse.
Part 1 Posting on Patreon - 5/09
Part 1 posting on Tumblr/Ao3 - 5/18
FYI for my Soldier Boy/BMD Tag List (Part 1):
@deans-spinster-witch @luci-in-trenchcoats @waynes-multiverse @chevroletdean @lamentationsofalonelypotato
@rizlowwritessortof @roseblue373 @iprobablyshipit91 @this-is-me19 @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @sl33pylilbunny
@chernayawidow @spnfamily-j2 @lacilou @mimaria420 @yvonneeeee
@my-stories-vault @globetrotter28 @mrsjenniferwinchester @deanwinchestersgirl87 @rachiem4-blog
@leigh70 @spnwoman @syrma-sensei @muhahaha303 @123passwort
@lyarr24 @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @sanscas @jessjad @fromcaintodean
@stoneyggirl2 @chriszgirl92 @kazsrm67 @deansbbyx @midnightmadwoman
@ladysparkles78 @fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @tmb510 @foxyjwls007 @just-levyy
@charmed-asylum @mrlonelycat @kmc1989 @siampie @kaleldobrev
@pieandmonsters @alwaystiredandconfused @mostlymarvelgirl @twinkleinadiamondsky @winchestergirl2
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I'm Feelin' Good
Pairing: Soldier Boy x F!Reader (Unnamed OFC)
Warnings: None
Summary: Ben can't keep his eyes off her as she performs on stage
Word Count: 1373
Authors Note: Divider by @sweetmelodygraphics; I tried something new with the text so let me know what you think!
Forever Tags: @zepskies @lamentationsofalonelypotato @adrosaa @venus-haze
Ben sat in the back of the club, watching as the lights dimmed on the stage. A glass of whiskey was held loosely in his hand, the alcohol only giving him the slightest buzz with the superhuman metabolism in his veins. The silk-soft chords of music reached his ears, and with his enhanced hearing, the soft click of heels on hardwood floors accompanied the string instruments in a steady staccato. A sense of anticipation sunk into his senses, knowing what was to come. Ben lifted the tumbler to his lips, barely registering the burn of alcohol as his emerald green eyes trained on the center stage, where the shadow of a lithe body was now backlit by warm, yellow stage lights behind a sheer curtain. A voice as smooth and thick as honey warbled out, soft and delicate but with an underlying strength that made Ben suppress a shiver.
Birds flying high, you know how I feel. Sun in the sky, you know how I feel.
The first lyrics filled the club and the hum of other conversations that hadn’t ceased at the start of the music fell silent. She’d always had that effect on people, a voice that made you stop and listen as if not of your own accord.
There she is, Ben thought as the hold on the power he knew resided in those lungs loosened in the second half of the line. The next few lines came languidly, lazily like a Sunday afternoon drags so slowly. True to her personality, the words sung were accompanied by small runs in notes, her own flare, her way of showing off. Ben had to consciously keep himself from becoming fully entranced, not when the song had barely started. It had been decades since he’d heard her sing like this. The last time was in a club not much different from this one. He’d taken a night off from Payback, and through the courses of the night, found himself in a small jazz club. The haze of sweet smelling cigar smoke had hung thickly in the darkened atmosphere; with a girl in his lap and a strong drink in the other, he first heard her sing. She was different back then, more innocent, a fact that was evident in her voice. The way she sang now, held stories of seduction and manipulation. A woman who knew how to use the gift given to her to get what she wanted, no longer just to please the lingering jeers of male patrons.
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
For me
After each line the music lifted into a small crescendo, not unlike the way her voice slowly gained power behind it. Ben found himself enraptured as a long, slender leg slid its way between the curtains, followed by a lean body dressed in a floor length dress, a slit cut near up to her hip bone.
And I’m feeling…good.
The trumpets, trombones and saxes came alive then as her husky voice full of enticement finished the last word. She fully emerged from behind the curtain, black velvet adorning her body. The skirt stopped just above her naval. A single piece of black tulle, wider at the bottom where it connected to the skirt and narrowed on its way north, winding around the back of her neck and reattaching to the skirt, was positioned over her breasts resulting in a wickedly low neckline and the entire expanse of her sides and back exposed. Her hands curled around the microphone, an older style back from when Ben could have been considered young. She didn’t need the extra projection, but she leaned forward, crimson painted lips letting the song slide through the metal anyway. Her body had a little sway to it, her way of keeping time with the live band.
Her gaze swept the crowd, watching the crowd slowly give her their undivided attention. She glanced at each one, all but the looming figure with emerald green eyes that sat shrouded in the shadows near the back. She didn’t know if avoiding his gaze was intentional or not. She watched as phones slipped into coat jackets or purses, even the hushed whispers out the side of mouths was nonexistent. She smirked to herself, the warm flower of pride blossoming in her chest. No matter how many times she sang in front of a crowd, the way they ate out of the palm of her hand never got old. Her hands found their place on the mic and the mic stand, one just below it and one wrapped around the stand, the cold metal biting into her sweaty palms.
The song sat low in her throat, a comfortable rumble of her vocal chords, and while she could sing both alto and soprano, the former’s lower range always came the easiest. Training from decades ago that was nearly beaten into her allowed for that type of comfortability, fostered the raw emotion and power she drew upon. Her eyes closed, feeling the power that resided deep within her start to come alive, reacting to the music flooding her veins like a drug.
Dragonfly out in the sun, you know what I mean, don’t you know
Butterflies all having fun, you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done, that’s what I mean
And this old world is a new world, for me
She plucked the microphone from its stand, clutching it in her hand as she sauntered across the stage with all the grace of a lioness on the prowl. Ben’s eyes tracked every sure step she took as she roamed the stage, making the elevated platform her own. Not many singers had that kind of stage presence anymore. Granted, she had decades of experience to perfect the craft. With every note, every word, every line she got more and more confident. The slight waver only Ben could sense faded, more and more power filling her voice. Ben was nearly on the edge of his proverbial seat, every fiber of his being on edge with the sheer captivation that now held him hostage.
Her long legs brought her back to center stage, but she kept the mic in hand. Her whole body involved, arm out by her side as he felt her power edge away from the hold she kept on it as the crescendo continued to build and build towards the climax of the song. Her favorite part of the piece. When she truly felt the meaning of the song. The unabashed liberation flowing in tandem with her power through her veins and her body, making every hair stand on end.
Oh freedom is mine, and I know how I feel
It’s a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life.
It’s a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life.
A devious thought crossed her mind, tugging the corners of her lips up and into a smile as she sang.
It’s a new life for me.
She tipped her head back, feeling the full effect of the song, using the full extend of decades and decades of singing on stage and in private to belt her lungs out so loud she was sure they could hear her on the other side of Manhattan. She drew out the last word as long as she could, before cutting the sound off abruptly, tilting her head down and for the first time, locking her gaze with Ben, matching the intensity she found there.
And I’m feelin’....good.
She slowly smiled, a coy gesture as she finished the song, eyes only leaving Ben’s once the last line ended, and the music tapered off.
The silence was palpable, the audience struck with awe as her unintended power faded away. Finally, the club erupted in a roar of clapping and the odd whistle. She placed the mic back in the stand, bowing politely before waving to the crowd and slipping back behind stage as calls for encores chased her. There would be only one witness to her encore tonight, a certain green eyed supe who was no doubt making his way backstage in that moment. Only then, would the performance end.
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reblog if you’re okay with people writing fanfics of your fanfics and/or fanfics inspired by your fanfics
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unless they specifically asked, you don’t get to tell a fanfic writer you think they mischaracterized the character by the way. because the second someone writes a fanfic about a character, that character becomes the writer’s own version of the character. canon is only a suggestion, but whether or not an author will follow it / how much of canon an author will take is entirely up to them. you don’t get to stick your nose in their world and tell them “hey this is not to my liking therefore I think you’re doing it wrong” when you can simply leave quietly and move on to something else you may enjoy
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"Write for yourself"
Brother, I literally have more than 2 million words sitting in my drafts folder instead of posted on AO3.
I write for myself. I post for community interaction.
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PLEASE Write Your Book!
I'm serious. Please write it. If you need a sign to start, continue, or whatever is inbetween, this is it. Go do it.
I spent the past couple weeks indulging myself in some BookTok recommendations. While some were indeed good (Kings of Sin, my beloved), some were just...I don't need to finish my sentence there.
I DNF'd some books for the first time since I read Lord of the Flies (sorry Golding, you put me to sleep with your descriptions) and I powered through others in hopes that they would eventually get better. The general consensus I ended up getting was that I could not understand for the fucking life of me how these books got published. The writing in some of them was no better than that of a 2010s teen writing Maximum Ride fic on Wattpad for the first time, with the characterization abysmal enough to match.
I don't want to knock any specific author or book here, because I will concede one thing: they finished their books. They got them published. They're successful. For that, I commend them, because I'm still on my way there myself and I can't take that away from them. Jolly good show.
But that brings me to my point: if they can do it, YOU absolutely can do it too.
If some of these Amazon and NYT bestsellers can have prose on a Wattpad level with characters that have enough poorly-written cognitive dissonance to make Deadpool or Walter White jealous, your fleshed out, deeply intuitive, and remarkably creative epic can sit right alongside them no problem. Whether you're writing the next GoT or a romantic slice-of-life, there is a not a goddamn thing on this planet stopping you from rolling up with the big dogs.
If these guys can do it, so can you.
So, stop telling yourself you can't. Stop letting other people tell you you can't. Stop comparing yourself to these authors who, respectfully and bluntly, can't write for shit (or at least need to fire their fucking editors, good lord).
WRITE YOUR DAMN BOOK. PLEASE. WE NEED IT.
(If you like my guides, prompts, writing, or art, consider supporting the blog today! All donations help me keep this thing up and running and all are appreciated <3)
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I LOVE me some Firefighter!Dean and you write him so well
Not only are you very naked, but your firm pillow is too. It happens to be your best friend’s brother.
We LOVE a best friends brother (or sister) fic!
You’re drinking a rum and coke with your slice of cake, trying not to get a single crumb on your dress. You've put a lot of work into affording it, let alone fitting in it.
Preach! I don't do dresses very often, but why are plus size clothes so expensive?! Also, finding plus size clothes that fit right should be classified as a Herculean task.
Dean’s smile confirms your suspicions, so you just keep filling the silence on reflex.
The amount of times I've nervously rambled should be studied scientifically; doesn't matter if I am talking to a gorgeous person or just to a friend
You felt his lips teasing your skin. Then those hands tantalizingly drifted down your every soft curve, as if showing you a preview of everything he could do to you, and every way he’d make you come apart. You believed him.
The wording of this is so beautiful. I so admire (and envy) your way with words and describing things.
“Goddamn, baby. Givin’ me quite a show,” he says, in a panting voice that’s deep as sin.
I think I would spontaneously combust if a person (let alone Dean Winchester) said that to me while we were in bed.
But he asks the most important question. “What do you want to do?”
We love a man who supports a womens right to choose
As a woman who has been talked to like Lisa talked to the reader, I felt so seen and validated reading this. And while I don't ever want kids, I feel for the reader.
As always, you did a wonderful job, Alex, and I can’t wait to read the second part!
IF I STAY - Part 1
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-Sized!Reader
Summary: Your dream is to work with kids as an elementary school teacher. Dean is well on his way to becoming a firefighter, keeping things light and “strings unattached” as he goes. After a one-night stand you never saw coming, you and Dean are forced to deal with the consequences…and figure out if the connection between you is worth fighting for.
AN: Yes, here’s another firefighter AU! Based on a request from one of my lovely Patreon members: @redhoodieone. She requested pretty much all the major beats of this story, so hopefully I did her request justice! This is also partially inspired by Fools Rush In, a beautiful movie with Salma Hayek and Matthew Perry (Rest in Peace, King).
Song Inspo: “I Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis
Word Count: 8.7K
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, thick thirty, hints of body insecurity, but also body appreciation, angst, and hurt/comfort.
❤️🔥 If I Stay Masterlist
Part 1: Fools Rush In
Slowly, your eyes slide open into the waking world. Your head is resting on something warm, firm…and a little sweaty. You pick your head up, despite the disorienting, muddy feeling of a slight hangover.
A groan bubbles in your throat. Your gaze travels downward, and you realize that what you’re looking at is more of a who.
Your eyes widen. Oh…my…God…
Not only are you very naked, but your firm pillow is too. It happens to be your best friend’s brother.
Yes, holy fucking shit! You slept with your best friend’s brother.
Biting the inside of your lip, you can’t help but take him in, here in the raw light of day as he lays peacefully on his back. His head lolls to the side on your usual pillow. Your eyes roam over the bow of his lips, the dark eyebrows, lightish brown hair that's softer than it should be between your fingers.
He’s painfully handsome. There’s a slight hesitation in your touch, but you softly trace the cut of his jaw and the stubble spread across it. That roughness feels familiar, and not just under the pads of your fingers, though the thought makes you blush. You begin to remember the night before, almost like a movie reel through your mind…
Ooooh, right. That’s what happened.
It starts at Sam Winchester’s joint bachelor-bachelorette party at a nice hotel downtown. He and Eileen aren't the "strippers and coke" kind of party couple. They're more the "wine and brie en croute with pickled olives" on the expensive crackers you can't afford—kind of couple.
They look perfectly in love, if a bit long-suffering while Dean gives a hilarious, somewhat inappropriate, but still ultimately heartwarming toast to their happiness. After lowering the glass of champagne from his lips, his gaze catches on yours in the crowd. You suck in a subtle breath.
Technically you’ve met him already, being one of Eileen’s bridesmaids, but there’s something about his green eyes that pin you to the floor. When he hands over the mic to Lisa Braeden, Eileen’s Maid of Honor, his head turning away from you to offer her a smile breaks the spell. It allows you to breathe.
Dean later finds you by the bar. You’re drinking a rum and coke with your slice of cake, trying not to get a single crumb on your dress. You've put a lot of work into affording it, let alone fitting in it. He leans his elbows casually on the counter and looks over at you.
“Hey, how’s it going?” he nods at you with a smile, subtly taking you in first. Then, his eyes go to your plate. “Ooh, red velvet. Gotta get me some of that.”
You smile back at him. “It’s pretty good.”
“Yeah, looks good in your hand,” he says, adding a teasing wink for good measure.
You don't know why that does it for you, but a half-flattered, half-nervous laugh tumbles out of your mouth. Sam has warned you before about Dean. Apparently his older brother is a bit of a flirt; a ladies’ man.
A man whore, are the words Eileen used.
You’re honestly surprised he’s talking to you when Eileen’s other bridesmaids, Lisa and Jo, are sipping martinis together down at the other end of the bar. Guess they didn’t want cake.
They look beautiful in their lithe, strapless little cocktail dresses. You’ve had to give up chocolate, bread, and cheese for three months straight to fit into this dress, something slinky and red that drapes over your thicker, curvy figure. But you’re proud of the fact that you’re letting yourself eat cake tonight, even though you’ve often felt like Mrs. Doubtfire while standing for pictures next to Lisa and Jo.
They’re Eileen’s friends, not so much your crowd. No matter how much you’ve tried to get to know them while helping the wedding planning in whatever way you can, you still get a high school clique vibe from the women, if with more “polite smiles.” Then they’ll typically go back to talking about crystal centerpieces—or whatever in-depth conversation they were having before you were there.
But right now, Dean’s focus is on you. When he asks you more about yourself, you tell him about recently earning an elementary education degree.
“Ah, but you already knew that, because Sam told you we graduated college together,” you realize, with warmth tingeing your cheeks. That subject came up pretty quickly when he introduced you to his brother.
Dean’s smile confirms your suspicions, so you just keep filling the silence on reflex.
“Well, I actually just started teaching my first ever semester of second graders. They’re a bit of a handful, but overall, they’re really sweet.” Your smile falters. “Except for this one kid who likes to put little tacks on my chair. He’s kind of a menace, but I think if I bribe him with enough lollipops, he’ll give it a rest. I mean, it’s a behavioral issue and I should probably call his parents. But it's kind of hard to tell them their son is trying to make my ass into a pincushion."
Dean's laugh comes out in a sharp burst, like he wasn't expecting what just came out of your mouth. You didn't either, honestly. You giggle more out of embarrassment, ducking your head.
"He’s in second grade, you know?" you say, in between laughter. "I don't think that little footnote needs to end up on his permanent record. But then there's Micah. He's so friggin' smart. He can read at the fifth grade level already. Can you believe that? And I know I'm not supposed to have favorites, but his grades on his spelling tests get him a spot in the comfy bean bag chair pretty much every Friday. Honestly, I think that's what I like about working with kids. I get to see that spark on their face when something just finally clicks for them. Their little faces get all bright and happy and…ugh. God, I'm sorry. I'm rambling, right?”
You stop yourself with a hand sliding over your mouth, not quite covering your smile of embarrassment.
Dean’s grin just widens, making the corners of his eyes crinkle.
"It's okay. I kinda like it," he teases.
You duck your head, biting your lip against a groan. He chuckles and reaches out for your hand, earning your nervous glance. He quirks his head.
“Hey, you're passionate about what you do, helping kids. That's nothin' to be ashamed of,” he says, brushing his thumb over your hand. “But sweetheart, I gotta ask. Am I making you nervous or something?”
God, yes, you think, especially at that sweetheart thing. It’s making your heartbeat tick up a syncopated rhythm, but you shake your head, biting the straw of your rum and coke.
“No, not at all,” you say, in a hopefully “breezy” kind of way. You touch your fingers to his wrist. “Tell me about you though. Sam mentioned that you’re a firefighter?”
“Ah, yeah. Firefighter in training,” he says, with a more genuine smile.
He just started at the Fire Academy, and he tells you about all the drills he’s had to learn and all the training he’s had to do to be able to keep up with his classes. You subtly eye him while you sip at your drink, and you notice the crisp cut of his buttoned-down shirt and leather jacket, the definition of muscle across his thighs under the slacks, even while he casually sits.
Your gaze subtly travels down his long bowed legs, smart dress shoes. His cologne is woody and masculine, but not overpowering; maybe bergemot and sandalwood. It pleasantly wafts under your nose every time he gestures with his hands while he talks.
“Aw man, I can’t hold out anymore. I think I need to get me some of that cake before it’s gone,” he says, getting up from his chair.
You’re a bit disappointed that he’s leaving, until he stops short.
“You want another piece?” he offers, gesturing at your empty plate that’s been resting on the counter.
You blink in surprise, but you shake your head. “Oh, no. I probably shouldn’t.”
“Why not? It’s a party,” Dean reasons. His grin is too damn infectious. It has you smiling, and begrudgingly agreeing.
Not only does he bring you more cake, but you watch him eat three whole slices before he asks you to dance.
The rest of it flashes through your mind like strobe lights—the way he’d started small and respectful with his larger hand closed over yours and the other along the curve of your waist. He guided you closer and closer, until you were turned around into his arms, and you could feel his warm breath on your neck.
You felt his lips teasing your skin. Then those hands tantalizingly drifted down your every soft curve, as if showing you a preview of everything he could do to you, and every way he’d make you come apart. You believed him.
And when he whispered in your ear, asking if he could take you home, you let him.
You let him drive you in that big black piece of history he drives. Used to be my dad’s car, he said. A Chevy something. You couldn’t really remember much when his hand was drifting up and down your thigh like that.
His presence burned hot at your back when you two eventually got to the front door of your apartment, your hands just barely shaking as you got the key in. Twist and click—
He waited until you flipped the lights on. Then he turned you around slowly in his arms and pulled you in close, all the while asking you with his eyes and raised brows. This okay? You want this?
“Do I still make you nervous?” he asked, his lips twitching at a smile when yours do.
You nodded, uttering a small giggle. “In a good way.”
That was when he finally kissed you, hot and slow, like he meant to devour you whole. He moaned at the taste of you, at the feel of your ass squeezed in his hands. You clung onto him strong, breathing into his kiss and trying to meet every single demand of his lips.
It soon became a fiery tear to your bedroom, one lamp flicked on, hot breaths and nice clothes crumpled to the floor. You didn’t feel self-conscious even once when he guided you under him on the bed, because he wasted no time in taking you apart, inch by inch.
His lips kissed and licked and sucked a burning trail down your neck, over your collarbone and between your breasts. You felt his hardened length trapped between your bodies while his hands explored you, teasing your breasts and sensitive nipples, and he mapped his way down with his lips.
You explored every part of him you could—every dip of muscle, firm shoulders and the slopes of his back, and then back up to tangle in his hair. Your heated gasps and whimpers filled the room when his sinful mouth found what it was looking for between your legs.
It wasn’t often that you had a strong pair of shoulders to rest your thighs on, but Dean’s grip was hard enough to leave deep fingerprints of pressure on each thigh while he slipped his tongue through your folds and feasted on you.
“D-Dean, oh God,” you gasped. Every sound you made was a sensuous symphony in his ears, washing over his skin and making the well of his desire churn hot in his lower belly. He had to roll his hips into the mattress for some relief for his aching cock, even while he moved his mouth up to your clit, circling the swollen bud with his tongue. He had enough room to slip two fingers deep inside your sopping wet channel, exploring you deeply, stroking and twisting to find what you needed.
Your thighs trembled and squeezed tight on either side of his head. When he sucked your clit tight between his lips, you uttered as gasping moan as that coil snapped its release. Your inner walls fluttered around his fingers. Yours clenched tightly in his hair, threatening to rip out a few strands.
Dean stroked you all through your first orgasm, giving slower licks to your clit. He seemed to sense when you couldn’t handle anymore though. You tugged more sharply on his hair, and he finally pulled away, moving back up your body to gauge your reaction.
You’d collapsed boneless against the bed, but you still managed to smile up at him as you caught your breath.
“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked. But his self-satisfied grin almost made you laugh. You took his glistening face between your hands and pulled him down for a grateful kiss.
After a moment to savor your lips, he broke away for a second to catch his breath himself. You stroked his back all the while.
“You know, for a minute down there, I thought you might not let me come back up,” he teased.
You choked on a laugh, covering your face in embarrassment.
“Honestly wouldn’t have minded if you did suffocate me,” he chuckled, accompanied by a slap to your left ass cheek. You squealed, and blushed hotly at the way he was grinning down at you.
“Ready for more, baby? Or you want to call it a night?” he asked. His tone was playful, but it was actually a serious question. You blinked in surprise. You’d never had a guy be this, well…generous, and not expect anything in return, especially not for just a hookup.
But you shook your head and sat up, slipping a hand behind Dean’s neck. After a beat of hesitation, you guided him down to you for a slow, sensuous kiss.
“No, I don’t want to call it a night,” you whispered. Your hand drifted down his bare chest, and lower still. You showed him just how well you could return the favor.
And now, come the morning, you’re blushing down to your neck as each scene flashes through your mind. You feel the ghost of his hands all over your body, and how you’d never quite felt quite as bold and sexy and beautiful with a near stranger as you had with Dean effing Winchester. Your best friend’s brother.
You begin to worry your bottom lip with your teeth. How the hell are you going to tell Sam? Especially after he warned you about exactly this. Plus, there’s a reason you don’t typically do the one-night stand thing, and this has the potential to become something very complicated.
You know what, it’s fine! you think. We’re two consenting adults. We’re both single. And maybe…maybe it could be more than a hookup. Maybe we can see each other again, see where it goes.
“What’re you thinking so hard about?” Dean says, his voice croaking with sleep.
You look down at him in surprise. His eyes have cracked open and he has your hand captive, stopping you from continuing to idly trace patterns on his bare chest. You smile in embarrassment.
“Sorry,” you say. Again, you bite your lower lip. “Um, good morning.”
“Morning, sweetheart,” he grins lazily. “You sure wore me out last night.”
Your smile becomes more genuine, even if you turn your face away somewhat shyly.
“Aw, don’t do that,” Dean says. He slides his hand up your arm and behind your neck, tangling into your already tangled hair when he guides you down to his lips for a kiss. “You were awesome.”
You giggle against his lips. “Really?”
“Hell, yeah,” he says, kissing you again.
You shake your head a little. “You were…”
Amazing. Unbelievable. Probably the best night I’ve ever had.
“Perfect,” you decide. Because it’s the truth. The word comes out of your mouth before you can filter yourself though, making you pause. Dean does too, but after a beat, he slowly smiles.
“Oh yeah?” he asks.
You lick your lips, and you nod. “Definitely.”
“Well, then,” he says. His hand moves down to squeeze your hip. “You down for a repeat performance?”
You smile. “Only if I get a turn.”
Bracing your hands on his chest, you slide your thigh across his lap so you can straddle his hips. Dean grins and goes along with your idea. He gets a nice healthy handful of your thighs and helps settle you on top of him. But first, he reaches over into your nightstand drawer and finds another condom, ripping it open with his teeth.
Just like you did for him last night, you take the packet, as well as his generous length in your hands. You gently stroke him to full mast, smiling pleased at his groan of pleasure. Then you carefully fit the condom over him.
“You’re so gentle with me,” he teases.
“Just returning the favor,” you quip, just before you position him at your wet entrance. Slowly, you sink down over his cock.
You both moan at the feeling of him stretching you again, warm and thick and fitting perfectly nestled deep inside. There had been moments last night where he wasn’t all that gentle, actually, but his passion had only spurred yours on more. You know you’ll probably find fingerprint marks on your thighs and ass, but it’s fucking worth it, you think, as you begin to bob a rocking rhythm that serves you both.
Dean arches his back underneath you, his knees coming up to press against your ass.
“Goddamn, baby. Givin’ me quite a show,” he says, in a panting voice that’s deep as sin.
You utter a breathy laugh.
Dean means it though. He’s enjoying the way you brush your hair out of your face, your beautiful tits in his face while you truly let loose for him. He guides you by the stronghold he has on your hips, his fingers pressing into your soft flesh as he ruts up into you, meeting your thrusts.
Your breath quickens, your nails digging into his chest on reflex, and your heart races as that delicious pleasure builds. But when Dean snakes a hand between you and further parts your folds to massage tight circles over your clit, your vision flashes white. You utter a scream of pleasure on his name, your inner walls choking him tight as you throb around his cock. His release hits him like a goddamn freight train.
“Aw, fuck,” he grunts.
He slams your hips down hard, making your thighs slap against his. A ragged groan escapes him in a rush. His hands move to your thighs just under your ass, where his fingers press into flesh hard enough to leave forensic ID, giving him leverage to bury himself deep into your pussy as he spills a hot release into the condom.
Goddamn…
He can almost imagine that he’s coming free inside you, that you’re milking his cock for every drop, until there’s nothing left for him to give.
The thought surprises him. It almost takes him out of the moment, honestly. That’s not a thought he’s ever had before—not with a woman he barely knows (which is most of his hookups, if he’s honest).
In that delicious, fractious moment just after it hits, it’s like those few seconds are suspended in zero gravity. Your arms are shaking, and your forced to collapse against his chest. Dean welcomes you there for a little while, letting you come down while he smooths a hand over your hair.
Though he can't help the urge to let his big hand drift down over your dewy skin, down the gentle slope of your back and over the curve of your generous ass. He gives one cheek a teasing slap. The sound echoes in the room.
"Goddamn perfect ass," he says roughly, smirking at your squeal. You end up grinning hard against his neck.
"'S that my new nickname?" you quip.
He chuckles deeply, moving you along with his chest. "Hell, sweetheart, if you want it to be."
Eventually, you lean back to give him a smile and one last kiss before you pull away from him. You slip off his lap to find your robe, at least. You definitely need a shower.
“So I’m thinking, after we get cleaned up, I could make us some breakfast,” you offer. “Or if you want, maybe we could go somewhere. I know a little diner down the block.”
“I like the sound of food,” Dean agrees with a smile. Ge reaches over for his phone on the nightstand, to check the time. His eyes widen. “Oh, shit.”
He has to get his ass over to the Fire Academy. He has class in barely twenty minutes.
He tears out of bed and nearly trips on the coiled sheets.
“Sorry. Gonna need to take a raincheck,” he says. He hurries to find his clothes strewn all over your bedside floor.
“What’s the matter?” you ask with wide eyes. You cross your arms under your breasts, but it’s more like you’re hugging yourself over your robe. You watch him tear through your bedroom in a tempest of movement.
Dean spares you a glance, but not much else as he yanks up his slacks and belt and dress shirt.
“Gotta get to class,” he confesses. Thank God he has his uniform in the trunk of his car for exactly these kinds of emergencies. He grabs his phone, wallet, and keys, and quickly kisses you on the cheek. He gazes down at you apologetically. “Sorry I gotta cut and run, sweetheart, but it’s been fun.”
Your smile barely reaches your eyes. He’s pressed for time, but he still notices.
He slows himself down and cups your cheek. “Hey.”
He gets your pretty eyes looking up at him, and he gives you a real kiss, nice and slow. He cradles your cheek and brushes his thumb across your skin.
“Thanks,” he says. His now familiar grin manages to make you smile. “And I mean that.”
You shake your head at him. “Okay go, Mr. Future Fireman. Be safe out there, okay?”
He gives you a playful salute. “Yes, ma’am.”
You can’t help but laugh. This guy’s too much. But you don't think you've had this much fun having sex in...
All right, let's not put a timeframe on it.
You watch him leave your apartment, even though you have a sinking feeling in your chest. You knew this was just a hookup for him, for both of you. Part of you just couldn’t help hoping that it could’ve led to something more.
Dean means to call you.
He really does.
After that truly awesome, you shook me all night long, kind of a night, he thinks about you more than he’d like to admit over the next few weeks. However, he finds himself locked into his training. He’s so close to finishing strong and earning his badge, he just can’t afford any more distractions.
Still, he should’ve known that Sam would find out—either through Eileen, or through you directly. He also should’ve expected the way his brother let him have it.
“And you didn’t even fucking call her. See? This is why I don’t set you up with any of my friends anymore,” Sam bitches at him from his side of the small two-seater dinner table. They still share an apartment, though in just a month and a half, Sam’s going to be moving out. He and Eileen already found a house that they’re moving into after the wedding.
“Look, I was going to call her, man. They’ve just been bustin’ my ass at the Academy!” Dean argues.
“Bullshit.” Sam levels him with the same finger that holds his beer.
Dean’s brows raise, high and annoyed. “Oh, really?”
“Yeah, I’m calling bullshit. Because if you really liked her, respected her, and respected me, you would’ve made the time,” Sam says.
That falls heavy between the brothers for a moment while they eat their pizza.
“Look, I know her. She doesn’t do hookups that often, which means…she probably liked you,” Sam adds. “And honestly, when are you going to give it a real try with someone? You can only visit that free clinic so many times.”
Dean shoots him a glare. He’s had a clean bill of health from said clinic for six months straight.
“Jesus Christ. Enough, all right?” he grouses. “What’re you, Mom?”
“I’m just saying,” Sam says, lowering his crust to the plate. He levels his brother with a more earnest look, lightening up from his anger. “Look, if it’s about what happened to Dad—”
“What, you mean the way he drank himself to death after Mom died?” Dean says. His voice cuts through whatever softball glove Sam is trying to handle him with. “You think that’s the kind of thing I should be looking for in my life?”
“Oh, and what, do you think I’m making a mistake marrying Eileen?” Sam counters.
Dean sighs, shaking his head. “Damn it, don’t put words in my mouth. That’s not what I’m saying, it’s just…I don’t know. Maybe that kind of life—the house, the wife, the 2.5 kids and the dog. Maybe that’s just not my life, okay?”
Sam gives him a long look. He lets go of a deep breath, and he shrugs.
“Okay,” he says. “If you think hooking up night after night for the rest of your life is going to make you happy, then fine.”
Dean nods, glad that they can put an end to this little After School Special.
“Okay.”
Still, he can’t finish his third slice of pizza. He keeps picturing your face when he left you that morning. No matter how you tried to hide it, he still saw the tinge of disappointment in your eyes. It brews something uncomfortable in his stomach, and a sting in his chest.
You’re eating lunch alone in your classroom, finally on your break, when an unfamiliar number flashes across your phone screen. You look down at it in confusion, but with all the caterers and florists and things you’ve helped Eileen with on the wedding, you figure it could be important. You pick up the call and greet whoever’s on the line.
“Hey, sweetheart. How are you?”
You drop your ham and cheese on your keyboard, gaping in surprise.
“Dean?”
“Yeah, it’s me,” he chuckles slightly. “Sorry, I know it’s been a minute.”
You frown, because you’re confused more than anything.
“Yeah, like almost a month,” you reply. You put the call on speaker so you can grab up your sandwich and quickly brush off the crumbs from your keyboard. You struggle to say something cool, clever, sexy even. “I’m okay. Just, um…what’s up?”
Smooth, real smooth. You cover your eyes with your hand.
“Nothin’, I was just thinking of that night,” he says. “I had a good time.”
Your frown deepens, despite the beginning of a blush warming your cheeks. If he’s calling you just for another hookup…
“So I just thought maybe you and I could do something again. Maybe you wanna come over my place this time.”
And there it is. You deflate at his words, shoulders sagging. The "convenient booty call" proposition.
“I could make us some burgers, toss in a couple of beers and a movie night,” he adds.
That part throws you though, you’re not going to lie. What, is this a Netflix and chill situation—with a side of fries?
You consider it. You weigh pros and cons at a frightening speed in your mind, almost like Sherlock Holmes contemplating the layout of a dead body and deducing within moments that his wife committed the murder, despite the man no longer wearing a ring.
You want to let yourself be bold and spontaneous and carefree...but it's just not who you are at your core. You're a planner, a cautious person who looks three ways before crossing the street. Letting Dean take you home that night was certainly one of the most spontaneous, wild things you've done since your friends took you out to a strip club after you aced your final round of exams back in college.
(Sam hadn't been there that night, but he did get an embarrassing drunken text from you at 3:00 a.m., along with a few shame-ridden pictures fueled by questionable substances. Yes, he still had the evidence.)
You just don't know if it's smart to let yourself hookup with Dean again. Mostly because you know your heart has the tendency to get attached, no matter how much you warn it not to.
“You know, Dean, I’m pretty busy with my job right now. I just started here a couple of months ago, and I think I just need to focus on that right now,” you say. Part of it isn’t a lie, even though your soft heart is stinging.
“Ah, okay. Yeah. I get that,” he says. You hear his disappointment too. “But I just need to say, I really am sorry for not calling you sooner.”
Your lips tug at a smile. “It’s okay, Dean. Look, you’re Sam’s brother. I just feel like, maybe it’s better if you and I stay friends.”
“Friends, huh?” Dean says wryly. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I don’t have three rounds of steamy hot sex with any of my friends.”
Your blush comes swiftly again, burning in your cheeks.
“Be that as it may,” you say, “I just don’t want to do anything that will distract from Sam and Eileen’s wedding.”
“Oh, I’m a distraction, huh?” Dean says flirtatiously.
You begin to smile in earnest. “I think you know damn well what you are, Dean Winchester.”
His deep chuckle practically resonates through the phone and into your chest, going straight down to your pussy. You clench on nothing just at the sound of his voice, making you cross your legs under your skirt. Dear God…
How are you supposed to be even remotely normal around this man now?
But for Sam’s sake (and your own), you’ll have to try.
Two months later, Dean has taken Sam’s dating advice to heart. A week or so after you turned him down, he ran into Lisa Braeden, Eileen’s Maid of Honor, while he was at the grocery store buying beer and Twizzlers. She was a smart, sharp, sexy brunette. A yoga instructor, he soon found out. So he took a chance on asking her out. They’ve been going slow and steady ever since.
Dean hasn’t heard from you since the rehearsal dinner, but he sees you again at his brother’s wedding. All the bridesmaids are wearing long, royal blue dresses that drape off the shoulders and hug the bust and waist, flaring gently at the skirt. Lisa and Jo wear it beautifully, their hair perfectly smooth and coiled.
But when you step out into the hall outside the church ballroom to join them, Dean actually pauses in what he’s saying to his brother. He nearly double takes when you enter his line of vision—mostly because he hasn’t seen you in a dress since that night. You were sexy as hell then, a lady in red.
Today, you’re absolutely stunning.
After greeting Sam with a warm hug, you turn to him with a nervous kind of smile. “H-Hey, Dean.”
With that, he snaps out of it. Dean smiles, eyes crinkling, and goes over to give you a hug as well.
“Good to see you,” he says, trying not to inhale too much of your nice perfume. It’s even in your hair.
“You too,” you reply. Your smile is a little brighter, more genuine. Though there’s something behind your eyes that he can’t quite place.
What he doesn’t notice is the way Lisa is watching you and her boyfriend, a hint of suspicion on her face.
You do though. You pull away from Dean and assemble into a line with Lisa at the helm. As the Best Man, Dean stands with her, followed by Jo and Brady, another one of Sam’s buddies. You and Benny bring up the rear. Benny’s dad used to work with John, Sam and Dean’s father, on the police force.
According to Sam, John Winchester worked a beat for twenty-six years before his liver finally gave out on him. Dean almost went to the Police Academy to follow in his dad’s footsteps, but Benny, already working his way up to Lieutenant, suggested Dean become a smoke eater instead. The suggestion stuck.
Benny Lafitte is slightly shorter than Dean, but just as broad-shouldered, his auburn beard neatly trimmed. Even though you might’ve thought he was rough around the edges at first, his kind blue eyes spoke the contrary. He offers you his arm like a gentleman.
“Well aren't I lucky, getting the prettiest girl on my arm,” he says, with a charming smile.
You smile, and even begin to blush at the way he subtly takes note of you from head to toe.
“Well, thank you. You’re very handsome yourself. Although, hold on.” You slip your arm out of his for a moment so that you can fix his tie. It’s slightly crooked. You make sure that it lays flat under his collar, smoothing down all the edges and picking off any small dust particles that landed on his collar. Benny watches you with an indulgent smile.
“Am I good?” he asks.
“Very,” you reply.
“I appreciate it, thank you,” he says. You don’t know if he means to sound flirtatious, but his voice is a deep drawl that washes over you pleasantly. You find yourself blushing down to your neck as you slip your arm back around his.
You also don’t notice how Dean glances at you and Benny over his shoulder.
As much as you love Sam and Eileen, it’s difficult for you to keep your mind from spinning into fractals as the ceremony goes on. You can’t help but glance at Dean. He stands there behind Sam dutifully, but you see brotherly pride in Dean’s eyes, in his smile. It makes you smile too. You too love Sam like a brother, and it brings a well of happy tears to your eyes to watch him have his moment with his new wife.
It just also reminds you of what you need to do.
After the ceremony ends and the bridal party files out behind the bride and groom, you excuse yourself from Benny apologetically. You wait until Lisa and Jo go off to take pictures with Sam and Eileen, and you grab Dean’s wrist, pulling him aside.
“I need to talk to you,” you whisper.
Dean gives you a confused look. “They’re gonna need us for the pictures.”
“I know, but this is important,” you say. Your voice trembles with nerves, and so do your hands. Dean notices, frowning in concern. He grasps your arm to try and steady you.
“Hey, are you okay?”
“Just come with me,” you implore him. You take his hand and lead him into the women’s dressing room attached to the church sanctuary you all just came out of.
Dean raises his brows at the mess you and the rest of the bridesmaids have made of the room—pantyhose and makeup and clothing litter the floor and most available surfaces, while leftover breakfast sandwiches, grapes, salami, and cheddar cheese cubes are splayed out across one of the vanity counters. Dean is tempted to steal a morsel, but he focuses on you first.
You close and lock the door, which makes his brows raise high again. You know he has a girlfriend now, right?
“Uhh, look, I’m not sure what’s going on here, but—”
You heave a sigh. Again, you take his hand and guide him to sit with you at the vanity. The old stools squeak, the overhead lights a bit too bright. This is not where you want to do this, but you can’t hold it in anymore.
“Dean, I’m pregnant,” you confess.
He freezes. His breath stills in his lungs. His eyes slowly widen as the words click in his brain.
“What?” His head tilts, as if he didn’t hear you right.
You squeeze his hand; to ground him or yourself, you’re not sure.
“I’m about two months pregnant. I found out last week.”
Dean swipes his free hand over his mouth while he tries to compute. He squeezes your hand, tighter and tighter. He points to himself.
“It’s…it’s me? It’s mine?”
You give him a weary smile. “You’re the only one I’ve been with in the last few months. It could only be you.”
Oh fuck. The man’s face begins to pale as he descends into shock.
“But we…I used a condom,” he reasons. “All the—all the times!”
You bite your lip. If you weren’t freaking the fuck out yourself, you’d probably be laughing right now. Granted, you’ve had a bit more time to process this than Dean.
“I know, I was there,” you reply, releasing yet another sigh. “One of them probably broke. That’s all I can think of… Honestly, Dean, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I just didn’t want to disrupt the ceremony or cause a scene before the wedding. But now you know.”
Dean falls silent then. He hasn’t let go of your hand, which you think is a decent sign. He’s likely forgotten that you’re still holding it as he stares off into the middle distance for several seconds.
Eventually, he shakes his head and returns his gaze to yours. He looks uncertain, his handsome face the true epitome of holy fucking shit.
You know the feeling.
But he asks the most important question.
“What do you want to do?”
Briefly you close your eyes as you take a breath. You squeeze his hand before you let go of him.
“I’ve thought about this a lot, and…I’m keeping the baby,” you tell him, though you raise placating hands. “I don’t want money, or anything like that. I just wanted you to know that it’s yours. How much you want to be in his or—or her life, that’s up to you.”
Dean takes a beat before he answers, but you don’t have to wait so long holding your breath.
“Okay. Okay, yeah. I’ll help you. Don’t worry,” he says.
And just like that, all the time you spent giving yourself pep talks for this, telling yourself that you’ll need to be strong no matter what he says, all of it crumbles into relief. Your lower lip trembles, and your body shudders as you break into tears. You try covering your face to hide your shame, but Dean grasps your shoulders.
“Hey, hey. It’s all right,” he says. He tentatively pulls you into a hug. “It’s gonna be okay.”
You nod into his dress shirt, probably staining him with your running makeup.
“Thank you,” you whisper. “Thank you so much.”
He holds you a bit tighter in response.
You and Dean agree to keep this to yourselves for now, at least until Sam and Eileen get back from their honeymoon. It’s difficult to explain why your eyes are all red and your makeup is smudged, but you promise Sam that you’ll tell him later. You know it’s pointless to lie to him though. As a lawyer, his bullshit meter is far too high.
However, you also know that he’s half guessed it by the time you all make it to the reception. When you and Dean came out of that dressing room to join the bridal party for pictures, you're sure that you looked emotionally wrecked. Dean had looked pale as a sheet, his body coiled and tense, as willing himself to seem normal. Sam had clocked both of you with a raise of his brow, but he didn't say anything then, especially after you gave him a pleading look.
While Eileen greets her family without him for a moment, Sam pulls you aside. He notes your glass of diet coke, in a moderate sea of guests drinking champagne and cocktails.
“Are you okay?” he asks knowingly.
Tears well up in your eyes again. You don’t know if it’s your damn hormones going haywire, or just the way Sam asks you, with the love of a friend in his eyes. He squeezes your shoulder gently, prompting you with your name.
“Yeah, I think I will be,” you say.
"Is it the same reason you're not drinking?" he asks. "You and Dean earlier..."
You hesitantly confirm with a nod. Sam blows out a harsh sigh, raising folded hands to his mouth as he processes. You begin to look around on reflex, trying to see if anyone's watching you and Sam have this conversation in the middle of the reception. To your relief, everyone around you seems occupied with drinks, hours d'oeuvres and conversation.
“What did he say when you told him?” Sam asks. His gaze is firmer. You get the idea that if he doesn’t like what you tell him, then he’s about to go grab his brother by the ear himself.
You grab his wrist and give a placating squeeze. “He said he's going to help me, be there for me.”
“Damn right. So will I,” Sam nods, and glances back at Eileen, his new bride, with a smile. “We both will.”
“I know,” you nod as well. “I’ll be okay, Sam. You don’t have to worry so much. Just enjoy your wedding day. It’s the only one you’re gonna get. Well, you know…hopefully.”
You tease him with a wink.
Sam laughs, cupping your cheek. He kisses your other cheek.
“I love you, you know that right?” he says.
You give him a trembling smile through your tears.
Meanwhile, Dean has a beautiful woman in his arms. He turns Lisa on the dancefloor, trying not to trip on his own dress shoes, all the while knowing that his brain isn’t here in his body. It’s across the ballroom, watching you talk to Sam. Dean can tell that he knows, just in his Big Bird body language. He’d also recognize that accompanying Bitch Face anywhere.
“Dean, what’s wrong,” Lisa asks him, and not for the first time. She’s getting annoyed, he can tell. She finally looks over to where he keeps glancing, and she notices you with a frown. It’s also not the first time she’s caught him staring at you tonight.
“What was that earlier in the dressing room? She didn’t really get food poisoning, did she?” she asks pointedly. “What, did you two used to date or something?”
He gives a wan smile. “Yeah, kinda. We…had a thing once.”
“What kind of thing?”
Dean closes his eyes and tries to keep himself calm. He’s pretty sure if he tells her the truth right now, she’s going to find the nearest cocktail and dump it over his head.
But shit, here it goes.
“Well…”
After a long day at school, you drive over to Dean’s apartment. You’d agreed to meet there and wait for him to get off his shift at Firehouse 83, where he just started as a full-fledged firefighter on probation. When he gets home, he’s supposed to go with you to an important appointment with your OB-GYN.
You were hoping he’d already be done with work by the time you got to his place, but Lisa's there to open the door for you. Apparently, he’d already given her a key.
Moving kind of fast, but okay, you think. A second later, you could’ve rolled your eyes at yourself. Pot, kettle, me. Got it.
Lisa greets you with a “polite” smile at best, but she does offer you water at least. You really can’t blame her for not liking you though. She found out her boyfriend got another woman pregnant right before he started dating her. Really, she has more balls than you for staying with him. You wouldn't put it past Dean to somehow have smooth-talked her into giving him a chance.
Or she really loves him. The thought sobers you as you lower yourself down to the couch beside her. Both of you sit there in silence for a moment, trying to figure out something to talk about.
“So, you’re what, six months pregnant?” she asks.
You correct her in thinly veiled annoyance. “Three months, actually.”
“Oh, wow. I’m sorry,” she says. “I don’t know why I thought it was six.”
You have a feeling her awkward chuckle is fake, however. She knew good and damn well that you’re not six months pregnant. In her eyes, you must be the size of a parade float.
“If you want, I can recommend a holistic diet to help you get your body back after the baby’s born,” Lisa offers. “No pills, no chemicals. Just good clean weight loss.”
You feign interest. Honestly, you’d like her to cram that offer right up her hooch.
“I can even give you a discount if you want to try out yoga,” she says. “It’s low impact, but you burn plenty of calories. I have a beginner’s class, not too strenuous. Even my least flexible clients manage to do the poses.”
Is that why Dean likes you? Because you’re bendy? Bet if I sat on you, you’d pop like a fucking balloon.
You hide all of these thoughts behind a “polite” smile of your own.
“That’s really nice of you, thanks,” you reply. It’s non-committal enough, but hopefully it’ll get her off your back.
No such luck.
“You know, maintaining a healthy diet is really important for the baby’s health too,” Lisa adds. “It’s not just about avoided raw fish and dairy products. Oh, and processed food is obviously a no-go. Like, I’m sure you haven’t been hitting Taco Bell and all that stuff, right?”
As a matter of fact, you’ve been eating clean since long before you got pregnant. Not that it’s any business of hers whether you enjoy the occasional quesadilla or not.
Your temper snaps at its leash. You open your mouth to reply, when the front door unlocks and opens to Dean, stepping in through the threshold.
Thank God, you and Lisa both think. She gets up quicker from the couch than you, greeting her boyfriend with a kiss. You avert your gaze while you begin to get up yourself.
Dean reaches out to help you, grasping your arm in support. You shoot him a smile.
“I can still get up by myself,” you snip.
“Yeah, all right. Just in case,” he says with a smile. “Ready to go?”
“Oh, yeah. Let’s rock and roll,” you say, trying to hide your worsening mood. You’re exhausted, and irritated, and probably more than a little hangry. Except now, the idea of food just has you feeling guilty for even being hungry.
“Bye, hun. Hope you have a good appointment,” Lisa says, giving your shoulder a pat. You give her the most genuine smile you can muster as you thank her. It's possibly that she's one of those women who don't realize when they're being cunty, but you find it highly unlikely. She's too smart for that.
You follow Dean out the door and over to his car, big and black and sleek as you remember. You settle into the passenger seat with your arms crossed in silence. Dean switches the cassette to one of his favorite Led Zeppelin albums, though he notices your grumpy face.
“Something wrong?” he asks.
You give him some side-eye, but you’re reluctant to say anything. You just shake your head. As irritated as you are, you don’t want to be the friend who badmouths his girlfriend.
God, are we even friends? You wonder. Or am I just his knocked-up baby momma?
And again, you realize that this whole situation is probably hard for Lisa. You just don’t know if she’s jealous, or if she just…doesn’t like you.
“I’m okay,” you tell Dean.
He raises a skeptical brow. Looks like Sam isn’t the only one with a finely tuned bullshit meter.
“All right, how about this,” Dean says. “Let’s grab some burgers after this, huh? From your favorite spot. Shake Shack, right? Side of fries, frozen yogurt. I think I’ll get chocolate this time… Hmm, I doubt Lisa will want anything. She’s gone on an all-vegan kick or something.”
For one shining moment, you were happy and touched at his consideration. But now your body stills in your seat when you remember Lisa’s words. Tears well up in your eyes with a hot sting, and a sob escapes your throat.
Dean is cut off from thinking about getting extra bacon on his burger. He looks over at you in alarm. “H-Hey, what’s the matter?”
You scoff at him through your tears. “Are you kidding me? I can’t eat burgers anymore, Dean. I was already fucking fat. Now it’s just gonna get ridiculous.”
“What?” Dean’s brows knit together in confusion, along with his deepening frown. It gets worse as he tries to watch the road ahead, while at the same time, watching you continue to crumble.
“And after the birth, I’m just going to be an even fatter slob who can’t take care of her baby,” you sniffle and weep, trying in vain to wipe your eyes and get ahold of yourself.
Dean grits his teeth, his jaw twitching. Fuck it.
He turns the steering wheel sharp enough to startle a gasp out of you.
“Dean!”
He pulls the car over onto the side of the road, ignoring the honking SUV behind him. He shifts into Park and shuts off the radio—a big red flag, in your opinion. He’s upset too, and fucking serious, more so than you’ve ever seen him. You stare back at him with wide eyes.
“I’ve never once heard you say that you’re fat,” he says.
You blink at that, but eventually, you’re able to get your tongue to unstick from the roof of your mouth. You wipe the remnants of tears from your cheeks. Your face is already hot from your upset, now tinged with embarrassment.
“You haven’t known me very long,” you say quietly.
It doesn’t help. Dean’s jaw ticks again.
“Well, I’ve never thought it. Not even once,” he says. His jade green eyes are firmly set on yours, and he gestures between you and him with a pointed finger. “The reason you and I are here right now, is because the minute I saw you, I wanted you.”
One corner of his lips kicks upwards. “And that night, you didn’t disappoint.”
Your mouth falls open slightly. You don’t know how to respond, but you do know that a full blush is warming your face and neck. His words have power, and unbidden, they bloom a similar warmth between your legs. You swallow a bit nervously as you bite your bottom lip.
Dean glances down at your mouth when you do. He can remember what your pretty mouth did for him that night. Oh, he remembers all too well. He even had the shade of your lipstick streaked across his skin until he showered up at the firehouse.
He locks that all away when shifts the car back into Drive. If you’re going to make it to this appointment on time, he needs to get going.
And you both have to leave whatever that was right here by the side of the road.
AN: Woo! 😮💨 Yep, this is only Part 1, friends. Lisa is a bit different in this. My take was that without Ben in her life, she might be less mature and a bit more catty. As we get into Part 2 I'll leave it up to you to decide why she decides to stay with Dean, and perhaps more importantly, where the reader and Dean can go from here as co-parents. 🤔
If you enjoyed Part 1, please let me know!~
Next Time in Part 2:
“Hey, you okay?” you say, resting a gentle hand on his arm.
Dean shakes his head. “Look, I…I’m sorry for tossing a giant friggin’ monkey wrench into your life. I know this hasn’t been easy for you.”
If possible, your heart softens even more. You slide your hand down to grasp his.
“Dean, this baby wasn’t planned, but he’s not a mistake,” you say. “I don’t regret anything.”
Dean stares back at you incredulously. He can’t believe you could really say that to him. He doesn’t know what to say. He only knows what’s in his mind, and what he feels compelled to do in that moment.
He leans over and kisses you. It’s a firm meeting of his lips to yours, and achingly familiar.
⋆˙⟡ Keep Reading: Part 2
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@kmc1989 @siampie @rubyvhs @masked-lost-girl @spnbabe67
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They lied when they said write what you know. How do you know what it is to ride a dragons back and sail into the unknown? How few people know what it’s like to lose a whole family? How does a virgin know what it is to give birth?
No, do not write what you know: take the situation and saturate into something anyone knows.
Not everyone has been abused but everyone knows what it is to be afraid.
Knowledge is power. Break it down, recontextualize a common emotion, and make the reader think “wait, I’ve been there, but I never thought about it that way”
That’s how you write what you know.
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Can't wait to read this!! I love a good !plus-size reader fic. As a plus size girly myself I love fucs with them so I can truly feel like I'm in the fic.
IF I STAY || Series Masterlist
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-Sized!Reader
Summary: Your dream is to work with kids as an elementary school teacher. Dean is well on his way to becoming a firefighter, keeping things light and “strings unattached” as he goes. After a one-night stand you never saw coming, you and Dean are forced to deal with the consequences…and figure out if the connection between you is worth fighting for.
AN: This two-part mini series is for @redhoodieone, a lovely new member of my Patreon!
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, Firefighter!Dean, Firefighter!Benny, lawyer!Sam, (background Saileen), thick thirty, hints of body insecurity, but also body appreciation, angst, fluff, and hurt/comfort, meet cute, strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, mutual pining, and much, much more... ❤️🔥
Song Inspo: “I Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis
Chapters:
✦ Part 1: Fools Rush In
✦ Part 2: It's Now or Never - Read now on Patreon!
⋆˙⟡ Part 2 coming to Tumblr/Ao3 on 3/23
⋆˙⟡ Want to get notified when Part 2 drops? Follow my fic library blog - @zepskieswrites - with notifications on. ❤️
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Dean Winchester Series List
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@luci-in-trenchcoats @lamentationsofalonelypotato @winchestergirl2 @deans-spinster-witch @roseblue373
@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @foxyjwls007 @mostlymarvelgirl @kaleldobrev
@globetrotter28 @midnightmadwoman @chevroletdean @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78
@waywardxwords @waynes-multiverse @twinkleinadiamondsky @my-stories-vault @kayleighwinchester
@rizlowwritessortof @k-slla @jackles010378 @alwaystiredandconfused @nancymcl
@this-is-me19 @spnwoman @illicithallways @pieandmonsters @deansbbyx
@mimaria420 @stoneyggirl2 @fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @cheynovak @jollyhunter
@deanwinchestersgirl87 @rachiem4-blog @leigh70 @aylacavebear @jessjad
@kmc1989 @siampie @rubyvhs @masked-lost-girl @spnbabe67
@deanbrainrotwritings @alwaystiredandconfused @supernotnatural2005
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