spontaneousglitterbees - Tumblr blog

[spontaneousglitterbees]

“You know, for a monarchy, the King doesn’t seem to play much of a role in your affairs.”

“Well, It’s embarrassing to admit, but we’ve rather lost track of them.”

“Lost track of them?”

“Quite so. We know we have a monarch, but we don’t know who they are or where they reside.”

“… okay, you’re going to have to run that by me again.“

“To be blunt, the last King had something of a roving eye. While we’re reasonably certain one of his numerous illegitimate offspring has inherited the divine mantle, we’re not sure which one – if, indeed, it’s even one we know about.”

“Can’t you just, you know, pick one?“

“Heavens, no. Our monarch rules by divine right. The land is bound to them. Its prosperity and weather reflect their health and moods. The sacred bond is clearly responding to something, so we can rest assured that a living monarch exists, but none of the candidates we’ve tested have panned out.”

“So, the rain of opera-singing fish last Tuesday…?“

“Wherever our current King or Queen is, they’re evidently having a fantastic time.”

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Lmao how is this real, "the ambient sounds of the world were wrong, sir"

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Skeletor has forever destroyed our ability to come up with voices for skeleton characters.

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link to pdf 

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Honestly, a not-insignificant contributing factor to my mid-20s gender crisis is that I used to think I was viscerally repulsed by playing as male characters in video games, but eventually I realised it was literally just playing as smarmy brown-haired thirtysomething dudes with an emotional range running the gamut from dull surprise to generic rage that put me off, and basically every other sort of male player character was fine. It's just that this happened to be when the Uncharted series was really taking off, so a solid 50% of all male video game protagonist fit that mould! Nathan Drake sucks so much that he made me question my gender, is what I mean to say.

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it is a parents responsibility to play good music during their child’s formative years. make sure the nostalgia playlist is a banger

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A job I was applying for mentioned I would be working with something called a “frosted flatwoods salamander”, which sounded positively delightful, so I looked them up and I could not be more pleased with what this beast looks like

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sadbuddies

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[comes crawling out of the podcast covered in blood] its really good you should listen

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If you have shared it with someone else or didn't finish the whole thing, select a "yes" option. Select the option that best describes your experience with cigarettes.

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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

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would you mind explaining the “and me i feel also not so good” thing? i tried looking it up without luck 😔

phrases that stick in your mind like tar to an unfortunate paleolithic beast

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My favorite banned terms on this site are "suicide prevention" and "safe sex"