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My favorite kind of customer

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apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

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hold on something just happened

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lets get sorted with ma- wait. where is mama

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imagine having a personality so morally bankrupt that the pope himself said "i'm telling god" and headed out

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just saw a furry go "ugh pup masks are the worst thing to happen to the furry community" and it's like what are you talking about those are your cousins, at the end of the day you're both pretending to be gay dog men, i think it's just an aesthetic choice at that point

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Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

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Spent tonight at a local short film festival. One of the shorts was made by two 12 year olds in their backyard and it was the best short of the entire night

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Maybe there’s someone in this abandoned clown factory who can help us

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out on ranger duties today...arc bless rotom phones for helping me catch the coolest photo of me and the staraptor i work with

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out of all the pokemon i've been asked to remove from the vicinity of the artazon pool she's the one who belongs here the most

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we should let rouxls kaard deltarune create polycules in other universes i think

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Guess who came back from the store with one more Goldfish bag than expected because someone REALLY wanted them 🫠

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Happy pride everyone