spotfurfan - Tumblr blog

spotfurfan · 23 days

Text

Month 14 - Newleaf

Goldenstar felt like everything was moving both extremely fast and excruciatingly slow. Time was slipping through her paws, racing towards an inevitable confrontation with Razor and his Rogues but somehow, most days, she looked around only to realize she had nothing to do that day but sit around. It was maddening, like a dream where she was being chased but couldn’t go anywhere.

She’d gone to see StarClan, seeking guidance for what to do to help Songdust. The results had been inconclusive. Apparently no one knew where she was. Smokyrose, looking lovely with her starry coat and more energized than Goldenstar had seen her in a long time, had explained that she and several others had been looking nonstop to no success. Poppyblaze insisted she wasn’t dead but didn’t have any clue where she was either. Some cats were starting to give up on her. Goldenstar promised Smokyrose she wouldn’t be one of them but that still didn’t leave her with a good idea of what to do.

Thankfully, Mystique hadn’t been causing any trouble. At her request, Goldenstar had allowed her to start training cats in combat - under Russetfrond’s supervision of course. She wasn’t a great teacher but she was a good fighter and Goldenstar had watched Floodpaw drift from total distrust and contempt to secret admiration for the kittypet. He didn’t even get mad when he lost a duel, he just got back up and demanded to go again until he was better. Goldenstar was proud of him. It wouldn’t be long until he and his littermates were ready to be warriors.

Before that, though, she was going to have to apprentice Slatekit and Fogkit. Poppybird was still coming by to check on them every so often, which Goldenstar was very grateful for. Thanks to her, Fogkit had come back out of her shell and was once again dragging her sister on adventures around the camp. Goldenstar had asked Poppybird what she thought about them, if they seemed to be leaning towards an apprenticeship as a healer or a mediator but Poppybird said they both seemed pretty eager to be warrior apprentices and so Goldenstar had started trying to pick out good mentors for them.

She had been considering Ospreymask for Fogkit but according to Poppybird, Fogkit had disliked her ever since she delivered the news of Smokyrose’s death, which was a shame. Slatekit seemed to need someone who was going to be extremely supportive, and Goldenstar had a few cats in mind, but Fogkit was going to need someone who could handle her rambunctious spirit, especially given how much time she had been trying to spend with Floodpaw lately. Goldenstar was at least grateful that Floodpaw seemed to have warmed up to the idea of hanging out with her. She had seen him teaching her some of the tricks he’d learned from Mystique and while she thought he tended to play a bit too rough, Fogkit seemed to enjoy it and that was what mattered.

Still, she wasn’t sure about a good mentor. She sat atop the Stoneperch, tail twitching, and puzzled over the different possible combinations. She was so deep in thought she didn’t notice Scorchplume had padded up beside her until she spoke.

“Busy?” asked Scorch with a slight tilt of her head.

Goldenstar flinched and hurried to recover. “Huh? Oh, uh, no not really. What’s up?”

“I wanted to go out past the eastern border, take a look around,” Scorch said flatly. “I thought you might accompany me.” Goldenstar swallowed. She still hadn’t been able to persuade Scorch to stay and the dread of losing her again twisted in her gut like a pit of snakes.

“Sure,” she smiled, hoping it was convincing. “Why not?”

Scorch smiled in return. “Great. Let’s go.”

Goldenstar stood and followed Scorch’s lead, feeling distant. She wished she could lean her head on Scorch’s shoulder and twine their tails as they walked, she ached for that closeness, but she still didn’t know where they stood. Scorch had been so reclusive since her return. She did her duties and then spent her time alone, like she didn’t want anything to do with anyone. Goldenstar wondered if she still resented her for the fight they had been having when she was taken. But then, out of the blue, she asked to go walking? Goldenstar was lost and confused.

“I hope you’ve been doing alright,” she tried. Scorch glanced over at her.

“I suppose so. As alright as you can be knowing an army could march on your home any day.” It may have been foolish, but Goldenstar brightened upon hearing Scorch call the Clan her home. That was a good sign.

“Yeah,” she hummed. “It isn’t great. Have you been training with Mystique at all?”

Scorch scoffed. “No. I’d be satisfied if I never saw her again.”

“Really?” Goldenstar asked. “I thought you two got along.”

“As well as I get along with anyone,” Scorch huffed and Goldenstar frowned. “She’s nice enough but I want nothing to do with her. You wouldn’t understand.” She swished her beautiful tail as if to put an end to the conversation.

“Try me,” said Goldenstar. Scorch frowned at her and then sighed.

“Fine. Razor basically made her my prison guard. I couldn’t go anywhere without her watching me. She’s not stupid. I know she saw through my happy-little-mate act but she never did anything to help me. I can’t forgive her for that.” Goldenstar listened, nodded to herself, and hummed thoughtfully.

“I see…” she said. “That sucks. I’m really sorry, Scorch.”

“What for?” Scorch snapped.

“That you had to go though that?” Goldenstar shrugged. “I’m not, like, guilty-sorry, just… sympathetic.” Scorch opened her mouth then hesitated. Her gaze flickered to the ground for a beat before she lifted her head confidently.

“Hm. I half expected a lecture about how I ought to forgive her.”

“No, you totally don’t have to,” Goldenstar said. “It would be super unfair to say that.”

“Hm,” Scorch said again. She focused on the path ahead of them again and Goldenstar squirmed in worry. Was she mad?

“Uh, hey,” she said, hopping a step forward to catch up with Scorch’s strides, “I wanted to say, uh… I’m sorry. I never got to apologize for the fight we had.” She swallowed, the snakes in her gut twisting more violently. “It’s my fault you got caught. I’m really sorry that I was pushing you so much and that I didn’t get back in time.”

Scorch looked over at her, face nearly mournful, and said, “It’s fine. I knew you wouldn’t get back in time.”

“Wait, what?” Goldenstar’s steps faltered for a second.

“The twolegs are always nearby when they use those traps,” said Scorch. “They got to me just after you left. I just didn’t want you to get caught too.”

Goldenstar didn’t know how to feel. “Oh. Okay. Well, I’m sorry for the other stuff at least.”

“It’s fine,” Scorch sighed again. “I was being stupid anyway. Can we just forget it? I hate it when you get all sorry and nervous.” That didn’t help to alleviate Goldenstar’s nerves.

“Okay,” she said, catching up. “Whatever you want, Scorch.”

“Ugh,” Scorch groaned.

“Sorry,” Goldenstar laughed nervously, “I didn’t mean it like that. Just, like, ‘okay, sounds good.’” Scorch’s tail lashed a little.

“You’re doing it again. You were doing this that day too! You keep doing that breathy little laugh and treading on eggshells like you’ve got no spine! What happened?”

Goldenstar swallowed. She’d realized she was in love is what happened but she couldn’t just say that could she? What if Scorch balked and left? Well, she was already planning on leaving… Goldenstar chewed her lip for a second, gathered her courage, and took a leap of faith.

“Well… Okay, this might sound weird, and don’t feel like you owe me any kind of response but, uh, that night you disappeared and came back late?”

“Yeah,” Scorch prompted.

“Well, when you came back I realized that I uh…” This was the hard part. No turning back! she thought. “I realized I have, uh, feelings for you.”

Scorch stopped walking. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Goldenstar laughed. “I’m sorry, I’m trying not to be weird, I just- I like you so much, I don’t want to ruin anything.” She shuffled her paws, not sure how to stand.

“Oh, please,” Scorch huffed. “If anything you’re ruining things by being so worried! Just be yourself, Goldie, that’s what I like.” That turned the snakes in her stomach to butterflies.

“You- you do?”

Scorch groaned loudly as she tilted her face skyward. “Yes, Goldie, I like you. Do I like you like that? I…” her exasperation softened and she looked away over her far shoulder. “I don’t know. I don’t really have room for that kind of thing in my life. Besides, I’m not interested in… in doing anything or-”

“Oh, you don’t have to!” Goldenstar blurted. “I mean, if you did feel the same, I still wouldn’t expect anything like that or- or anything at all!”

“Everyone has expectations,” Scorch glared.

“O-okay,” Goldenstar laughed. “Fair, but I mean like… If you didn’t want to do something I wouldn’t pressure you to. I mostly just want to like… twine tails and share a nest and stuff like that…” It wasn’t like she would say no to something more… exciting, but she had always cared more about the person than any one part of a relationship. That was part of the reason she’d gone her whole life without any kind of serious partner, it just hadn’t been important enough for her to compromise on the ‘who’ in order to get the ‘what’.

Scorch was still, her expression nigh unreadable but definitely skeptical. Goldenstar wanted to squirm but she forced herself to breathe slowly and calmly. She waited for Scorch to speak and tried to look as open as possible.

“Let me get this straight,” said Scorch slowly. “The only thing you want… is to do cutesy garbage together?”

Goldenstar blushed. “I guess you could say that, yeah,” she laughed. “I’d be open to other stuff but I’d be totally satisfied if that was all. But like, you can also say no, I totally understand.” Scorch sized her up for another moment.

“Alright,” Scorch said, turning to face Goldenstar directly and unfurling her tail up above her back, “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try so here are my conditions.” Goldenstar gulped and nodded, standing equally straight. “One: I refuse to use any kind of labels and definitely no sappy pet names like sweetie or anything, got it?”

Goldenstar nodded again, “Got it.” She couldn’t believe what was happening.

“Two:” Scorch continued, tail starting to swish. “There will be absolutely no sexual advances of any kind.”

“Of course,” Goldenstar said immediately.

“Three: This is a temporary arrangement. When I leave, that’s that, assuming you’re still determined to stay here despite my warnings.”

Goldenstar pursed her lips. “Alright,” she said, hesitantly. “I still think you should stay, but, like, obviously you can end this… arrangement, I guess, whenever you want.” She thought but didn’t say, Even if I’ll probably die.

“Good,” Scorch said firmly. She shifted slightly, like a bird ruffling its feathers, and let out a small breath. “‘Cause I’m not staying. I’m not letting Razor get another chance to take me back there.” She turned and started walking towards the border again. Goldenstar followed, feeling bright and bubbly and lonesome at the same time.

“I understand,” she said sadly. “Is there anything I could do to change your mind?”

Scorch hummed in thought. “If Razor were dead then we could talk.”

“Okay,” Goldenstar’s mind was turning. “How would we do that?”

“I don’t know,” Scorch said, “That’s why I’m leaving.”

Goldenstar sighed, ears drooping. Scorch looked over and, after a beat of hesitation, wound her tail around Goldenstar’s. The action sent affection flooding through Goldenstar’s body and she leaned in to rest her head on Scorch’s shoulder, a small purr rumbling in her chest. Scorch stiffened slightly but eased into the gesture. Goldenstar’s heart soared.

“We’ll think of something,” she said. “I’m gonna do everything I can to keep people safe. I’m not giving up yet.”

“It’s not giving up to run away,” said Scorch. “It’s just a different strategy.”

“I guess,” Goldenstar hummed. “It’s just that these territories, this land, it has a lot of significance and meaning to us. It’s just as much a part of the Clan as any member. I don’t want to lose that.”

“Better than losing your lives,” said Scorch.

“I know,” said Goldenstar, taking a deep breath as she closed her eyes and let Scorch lead her along. “If it comes to it, I will leave if we have to. But I wanna try a few other things first.”

“Well, it will be good to take a look at what’s beyond the border in any case,” said Scorch.

“Yeah, I agree,” said Goldenstar. She opened her eyes and looked up at Scorch’s perfect blue ones and smiled. At least for now, she could imagine that this was a romantic little adventure to some place new.

Scorch raised an eyebrow at her. “Goldie, are you going to stare at me like that all the time now?”

“Maybe,” Goldenstar laughed. “Is it bad?”

“No, you just look ridiculous,” said Scorch, a touch of a humorous smile on her face.

“What can I say,” Goldenstar sighed dramatically, “I’m ridiculously in love with you.”

“No,” Scorch said, suddenly detaching herself from their little embrace, fast enough to make Goldenstar stumble. “No you aren’t.”

“Aww, is that not allowed?” she pouted playfully even though her heart sank.

“Yep,” said Scorch, “Rule Four: We are not using that word.”

Goldenstar thought it sounded like Scorch might be joking but she couldn’t tell and she didn’t want to push so she just sighed and said, “Alright… Can I at least say I think you’re beautiful?”

“Hmm,” Scorch glanced over her shoulder. “Yes. Do that.” She smirked and swished her tail - definitely playing.

“Scorchplume,” Goldenstar purred sweetly, “you are intensely beautiful. Seriously, your eyes, your fur, your voice, all of it. You take my breath away.”

Scorchplume rolled her eyes. “You’re too soft, Goldie.”

“If adoring every bit of you is soft then that’s fine with me,” said Goldenstar moving back in to twine tails with her. Scorch made a noncommittal noise and fell silent. Goldenstar was happy to just enjoy her presence.

They made their way to the border then out past the territories into the wider prairie. Here, wildflowers grew in thick patches and the grass was sparser and dryer. They found a short, wide little tree and scaled it to get a look at the surrounding area.

“Looks like a desert out there,” Scorch hummed. Goldenstar chewed her lip in thought. She’d heard old stories about deserts before but the concept still seemed alien to her, like a mystical land of suffering designed to try the cats who dared to wander across it.

“There’s bound to be coyotes out there,” she said, mostly to herself. “Not somewhere I would want to raise kits.”

“It’s not ideal for me either,” said Scorch. “But surely there’s something past it.”

“Maybe,” Goldenstar shrugged. “You could ask Oddstripe. He came from out this way, remember?”

“That’s right,” Scorchplume muttered under her breath. There was a storm of thoughts behind her eyes. Goldenstar pictured it rolling out across the desert and pouring much needed rain on the scraggly wildflowers and parched earth. She imagined letting that rain soak her to the skin and thought that she wouldn’t mind at all.

Scorch leapt down to the ground and started back towards the territories. “Maybe I’ll have to see about the lake over the mountains then,” she said.

“Or,” suggested Goldenstar, leaping down beside her, “you could stay and help us figure out how to beat Razor.”

“No, I don’t think so,” said Scorchplume curtly.

“Hear me out,” Goldenstar said, her own thoughts coalescing into rain clouds. She thought back to what Scorch had taught her about speechcraft and came up with a plan. “You hate him more than anyone and with good reason. On your own, there’s nothing you can do to stop him but I have a whole Clan, several Clans even, full of warriors who would gladly sink their claws into him.” Scorch hummed, unconvinced, and Goldenstar quickly continued. “You’re incredibly smart and you have first hand experience with his operation. You could teach us the best way to beat him and then we would do it. You wouldn’t even have to get close to him. Just tell us what to do and we’ll take all the risk ourselves. You’d be saving countless cats and securing your own safety all in one go.”

“You make a compelling argument,” Scorchplume said slowly. Her eyes were narrowed, calculating. Goldenstar held her breath and tried to maintain her casual facade. This was probably the highest stakes conversation she’d had in weeks and she wasn’t about to ruin it by looking too desperate.

Scorch stewed for a few moments then said, “Alright fine. We can give it a try.”

“Yes!” Goldenstar cried, butting her head joyously into Scorch’s side. So much for not looking desperate. “Thank you, Scorch!”

“Don’t thank me too much,” Scorch said. “I might have an idea but it involves using you as bait.”

Goldenstar smiled, ears perking. “Ooh, tell me.”

“Don’t look so excited,” Scorch huffed poutily.

“Sorry, I’m just- I am excited. I can’t wait for all of this to be over with so you and I can just be happy together.”

Scorch’s throat labored as she watched Goldenstar’s face. “Yeah… Me too, I guess.” Goldenstar rammed her with another loving headbutt. That was plenty for her. Visions of a bright and happy future were starting to form in her mind's eye, one where she and Scorch lived in RisingClan together for the rest of their lives, where Scorchplume felt happy and safe and knew just how much Goldenstar loved her. To her, there was no greater thought in the world.

UPDATES: - Goldenstar confessed her feelings to Scorchplume and they have become mates an unofficial no labels kind of thing

#clangen #warrior cats #AUUUUUUGHHHH OH MY GOD #my sweethearts... my loser bisexuals...#FINALLY gay people are real..#goldies reactions are soo cute #scorch :((#risingclan

86 notes · View notes