sprucesystem

[sprucesystem]

'heard you like sweets so i bought you a bakery' soundin ass

he is NOT being normal about it

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Don't get Whiplash, it's a little BITCH

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I am the only person who laughs at my jokes, because I've been laughing at myself having said "when life gets hard, I get harder" for 10 minutes now alone in a room at 11pm

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I- words cannot express my love for this artwork.

🎞️🦝

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I PULLED A CHARACTER I DONT KNOW, TWO OF SUNDAYS LIGHT CONES AND ONE LIGHT CONE OF CHARACTERS I DON'T KNOW BEFORE I GOT WHAT I WANTED. 🙏 I HAD TO MANUALLY BUY 25 PULLS BUT I GOT MR RECA'S LIGHT CONE SO IT WAS WORTH IT

[sprucesystem]

sajfsuhduhujdiknfjbhhfbjnkd I need to suck mr reca off so badly.

imagine his whimpering. 🥺 so cute.

him and reader in a secluded room and readers just sucking the soul out of him. his brain is absolute MUSH. sweat clinging to his forehead and he's practically drooling.

I would treat him so right.

giving him kisses afterwards and cuddling too.... 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 he just a mippy. so cute n silly. I love him so much.

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MOANING ON THE SPOT, GOD TO SEE HIM IN GAME MAKES ME NO LESS FERAL FOR HIM.

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MOANING ON THE SPOT, GOD TO SEE HIM IN GAME MAKES ME NO LESS FERAL FOR HIM.

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There are whore like happenings going on in Penacony...

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The real reason I got into hsr

I log on. I look at the hsr tag. I see hsr c!Wilbur Soot. Wait what

Died March 2024 Born October 2024

Close enough! welcome back c!Wilbur

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I MOAN WHEN I SEE HIM OMG I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH. HE IS WHY I GOT INTO THE GAME. PURELY FOR HIM. GOD MAKE HIM PLAYABLE.MY MONEY WILL BE YOURS HOYO

hes so perfect. this is a man who feels lust whenever he gets too deep into his work. that's a true artiste.

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..yes

"MY PENACONY, TRAILBLAZER. MY UNFINISHED PRODUCTION FOREVER UNFINISHED" ahh character

i fucking love mr reca omg 2.8 PLEASEE MKAE HIM PLAYABLE DONT DO THIS TO ME AGAIN

[sprucesystem]

Someone needs to put me down before I actually go crazy over him.

genuinely what is going on with this guy.

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I wanna suck Williams dick.

[sprucesystem]

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

[sprucesystem]

You wanna know something I genuinely, whole heartedly hate about school? And please note I am a person who actually enjoys school, goody-two shoes all the way.

But I HATE that When I'm at school, talking to my friends at lunch, a teacher will walk past, hear me say literally ANYTHING slightly critical of a teacher and feel the need to butt their ugly head in to say "ah ah ah, No Teacher bashing"

YOU ARE NOW ON MY TEACHER BASHING LIST. I AM GOING TO BASH YOUR HEAD INTO A WALL. I NOW HATE YOU BEYOND COMPREHENSION. I WILL CRITICIZE WHOM I WANT WHEN I WANT. AND THAT WHOM IS NOW YOU!

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Hey so so so sorry, but the picture you have as your banner or whatever it's called is actually a picture of my father 😭 I saw it and laughed so hard I think I saw the pearly gates for a second, but I would love to know how you have that picture?? /gen /nm

HELP HAHAJSHFN I WAS SENT IT BY MY FRIEND WHO, AND I QUOTE "*something something* edited my friends dad over the lesbian flag" and I just went "perfect, that's my banner now" 😭 IT WAS ALSO MY DISCORD PFP FOR LIKE A MONTH TOO