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Da Bessā¢
Tried using colored paints for the first time, it came out OK. Iāll get better in time. šŖ
If you enjoy my work and would like to help support me, maybe consider checking out my Patreon? Link on my front page. :)
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Until then, we survive.
Screencap redraw of the favorite thing from the new Steven Universe episodes, Stevonnie! Our child is growing up to be so beautiful and handsome, even their little stubble made me so happy. *wipes away tears*Ā
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Tell our story Christian, that way Iāllā¦Iāll always be with you. āMoulin Rouge! (2001) dir.Ā Baz Luhrmann
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While I'm on my emotional tirade, I guess I'll tell y'all about what exactly happened
Somewhere in mid-January, I started talking to another person on tumblr about some things we had in common. I enjoyed talking with this person so much that I wanted to Skype. They agreed, and asked if their friend could join. I was a bit hesitant, but I agreed because hey, this person could be cool too, right? Thatās how I met him. We formed a group chat, me, Danie, my other friend, and my future crush. Initially, i didnāt feel anything towards him. I was able to see him as just a friend. Our group would have chats which could last for hours! And oh man, those were so awesome! I started to talk more and more to this guy the more I saw we had in common. We have the same sense of humor, liked the same nerdy stuff. I was so stoked to have a genuine guy friend because Iāve grown apart from all my other guy friends, and I missed having that kinda friendship.
Fast forward to March. He tells me he likes me. Iām stunned, to say the least. He and I have only been friends for two months, and heās already got the hots for me? Needless to say, I was flattered. Before he confessed, I was teetering between a similar dilemma. I was unsure if i liked him, or if I was infatuated temporarily. After he admitted his feelings, I was finished. I fell, and I fell so hard and so fast. That being said, there was the obvious issue of distance (he lives on the East coast, Iām on the west coast), also there was the bigger issue of āwhat if itās a temporary feeling?ā So we decided at that point to remain friends, but also to āwait and seeā where these feelings would take us. We agreed no matter what the outcome, we wanted to stay friends.
Fast forward to May. Things are still going great. He and I talked online just about everyday, and we were still only just friends, but we both knew underneath it all, we still pined for one another. Then things got a bit intense. His family was in the midst of some financial problems, and he was still struggling to find work. I could tell it really took a toll on him. It was during that point which I decided to give him more space. It seemed any time we talked, he would give off this vibe of āforced positivityā. (I remember earlier I told him Iām kinda a clingy person, but that I donāt want him to think heās gotta talk to me every day). So, I gave him space. A lot of it, in fact. We talked on and off the duration of May, and June.
July. Communication between us seemed to be resuming back like normal, and I was so happy! I missed goofing off with my long distance buddy. Then yesterday, he tells me heās got some news. I ask him what, but he hesitates, telling me heās ānot sure how Iād reactā. I insist, genuinely curious about this good news. Then he tells me heās seeing someone and that theyāre together.
My heart broke. Still, I tried to be the supportive, and happy friend. I tell him how happy I am for him, then he tries to turn the conversation to my self ships, and.. I just couldnāt fake it anymore. I told him I was hurt, and that ānow really isnāt the time to talk to me about my pretend boyfriendsā. He instantly regretted doing that. We had a very lengthy conversation about everything, but what hurt me the most was learning he felt ātoo scaredā to tell me about his changing feelings because he knew how much he built me up. I felt so betrayed. I expected better of him, so much better. I believed heād always be real with me, but when it all came down to it.. he couldnāt. Iām shaken to the core. Iām so upset and confused. Iāve never felt so hurt in all my lifeā¦
Maybe somewhere deep inside, I mightāve actually been in love. I was so willing to sacrifice and move the heavens and the earth for him. To hear about how he basically chose an āeasier targetā stings a lot.
I believe relationships are partnerships. Each person is equal, and youāre supposed to bring out the best in the other. Idk if he realizes just exactly what he did, and how it makes him look. He looks pretty damn bad. And now as I write this down, maybe it is better nothing came about this fleeting romance. I certainly donāt wanna be someoneās āemotional crutchā or, more crudely, I donāt wanna be someoneās fuck buddy either. Iām a real person with real feelings, and I expect to be treated like one.
And yet, despite it all.. I still wanna be his friend. Despite my heart breaking, I still wanna talk with him at odd hours at night because weāre meme trash. Despite my trust being broken, I still want to tease him about his fictional crushes and have him do the same to me. Despite my (definitely temporary) desire to obliterate the other girl for taking him away from me, I still hope he finds happiness with her.
Itās so easy to be angry and upset, but I donāt wanna be bitter, or spiteful. I just want to be happy. I wanna go back to the times of us being goofy, to us being shipping, meme loving trash, to us beingā¦. good friends.
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Ezra Miller in The Perks of Being a WallflowerĀ I Tim Curry in Rocky Horror Picture ShowĀ
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please reblog this if your blog is safe for asexuals
(an ace safe space)
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the MOST iconic 20 seconds of any anime dub iāve ever experienced
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Little design Iām considering for a tattoo; Iād like to do a matched set, one for each of my cats. Peonies for Dork for sure⦠would need to think of a different flower for Toast.
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being the only white person in your friend group

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isnt it weird that we cant ride any other animals except horses. like if horses werenāt a thing humans would be fucked cause we couldnāt ride any other animals. like riding animals just wouldnāt really be a thing. we should probably be more grateful to horses
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