squarebracketsmileyface - Tumblr blog

[squarebracketsmileyface]

there's something oddly fun about listening to my favourite songs from when i was a kid (the ones that made me so happy i danced like a mad thing in the living room) while writing the aftermath of Alex doing a scene he wasn't really fully onboard with

like, in my ears? super upbeat dancy music

on the page? alex going through it

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Quick summaries of each chapter planned for If It Ain't Broken You Break It, since it's kinda gonna be a pretty heavy fic so I just want to let people know what they're gonna be in for.

Luckily, the chapters are pretty disconnected from each other so you can skip some of them without it impacting your understanding of the others. And if you need to skip the whole fic it won't leave you missing anything if you read the next fic in the series whenever i start working on and posting that :]

Hiding it under a thingy cos idk it just feels like I should

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AND THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THIS FIC IS UP (after a little too much faffing about trying to make ao3 let me write chapter notes on the first chapter, because it was only giving me the option for Fic notes in general)

But the chapter is up, and I finally get to dive into Jay and Alex's university FWB relationship, and show everyone who wonderfully fucked up and not okay the two of them were. (The answer is very. Neither of them are okay and I need to hug them both and force them to talk to each other properly)

Anyway. It does contain smut, though the first chapter is fade to black for most of it, so if that's not your thing, now you can avoid it. If it is your thing, enjoy!

[squarebracketsmileyface]

yall are pro mental illness until they hallucinate

yall are pro mental illness until they dissociate

yall are pro mental illness until they self-isolate

yall are pro mental illness until they're paranoid

yall are pro mental illness until they split

yall are pro mental illness until it's too Scary for your comparatively neurotypical brain to handle

[squarebracketsmileyface]

official request for the alternate ending where tim realizes that jay would literally do anything for him and his attention and uses that to coax jay into therapy and maybe its a little manipulative but like its for the better and maybe they end up actually kind of copung and theyre still broken but its ok cause maybe theyre actually handling shit a bit better

Honestly I love that, cos like, it'd probably work lol. Tim definitely has Jay wrapped around his finger enough for it, the question is how to keep him that way long enough while also having him get better through therapy 💀 cos otherwise he might stop going to therapy if he gets unwound from around Tim's pinky too soon because of the therapy. Vicious cycle and all that lol idk

The angst is just more fun, what can I say, request for a happy ending denied /silly

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Okay, I'm going to go through my follower list tonight, if you don't have your age in your bio I will be removing you, so you have like, idk about 12-18 hours to put your age in your bio if you haven't already (i will also check pinned posts and linktrees and cards and shit)

[squarebracketsmileyface]

New Introduction Post

Hi, I'm Mon :]

I'm currently 20 and I go by any pronouns (though I mostly stick to xe/it). I write fanfic and occasionally draw, and I'm MonMonniMon on ao3. All of my Marble Hornets fics are under the Square Bracket Smiley Face psued :]

I do post and reblog nsfw, though not exclusively, and a lot of my fics are E rated, so if you try to follow me on here and you're a minor I will unfortunately block you, though I do have leniency where if you're 17 I will soft block you. You can come back when you're 18 if you want, but not before. I know what I was like at that age lol, and tho you're not children, you're also not adults yet. But 16 and under I will sadly just block you for my own comfort.

Current ongoing projects:

Currently I have one big project going, a series of fics called Sorry, It's Locked. (As a warning, the series is rated E as most of the fics in it have a fair amount of smut.) S,IL follows Jay's unhealthy past relationship with Alex, as well as his new (slightly healthier, for now) relationship with Tim. It has plenty of angst, smut and a good bit of fluff.

All my posts about this series (which is probably most of them lol) are tagged with #mh sorry its locked to make them easy to find and just keep everything a bit more organized for myself.

I also have a few playlists of music that goes alongside different chapters and fics in the series. They're not amazing, I'm not great at making playlists and my music taste is a bit all over the place sometimes. They contain a mix of songs that fit the storyline of S,IL as well as songs that kind of fit the vibe of the series that i listen to when I'm writing it.

I'm always open for suggestions of songs to add to my Sorry It's Locked playlists (though it might take me a while to get around to your ask because I have terrible time and motivations management skills) So feel free to send me asks with songs you relate to S,IL if you feel like it.

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Okay, so after a long and arduous battle against my autistic hatred of change, I got Spotify (and oh my god it's so much easier than how I used to have to get my music, why was my boyfriend right?) So here are the links to all my S,IL playlists on there lol. Ignore the numbers at the start of their names, I need them to show up in a specific order when I sort my playlists alphabetically or I get overwhelmed as fuck.

My taste in music can be kinda all over the place sometimes, so these playlist are also a little all over the place too. Don't expect them to be masterpieces or anything lol. They're just a collection of songs with the vibe of S,IL or that fit the storybeats themselves, so that I have something to listen to while I'm writing.

Anyway:

Songs people have suggested in asks on here

Sorry it's locked chapter 1

Sorry it's locked chapter 2

Sorry it's locked chapter 3

Sorry it's locked chapter 4&5

If it ain't broken you break it

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Okay, I'm going to go through my follower list tonight, if you don't have your age in your bio I will be removing you, so you have like, idk about 12-18 hours to put your age in your bio if you haven't already (i will also check pinned posts and linktrees and cards and shit)

[squarebracketsmileyface]

mon im so serious if sil jay is based on personal experiences pleaaase do research into bpd 😭😭😭

welp, time to run to google and then ask my therapist for more info (she's already brought bpd up once and i very much have been ignoring it, i was very busy talking about other things! Important things, probably. (I was probably ranting to her about the stim toy i'd brought to the session))

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Backtrack by Emei is so S,IL to me esp like the fights that i can see jay and alex having. but something about "turn your words to ice on my bruise / cant pull a punch you already threw" hits with either of the pairings

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YES. Damn you're on fire with song recs lol

"Turn your words to ice on my bruise" is such a good line omg. it feels so Jam to me, but that's probably just because I do like thinking Tim could fix Jay with just his words, even though he really really couldn't. Jay needs allllll the therapy. Honestly i think he should go to EMDR

lol, mh therapy headcanons 💀

putting ice on a bruise hurts tho. so likeeeee. Jaylex. Alex says or does something that hurts Jay, then he says something else to try and soothe the bruise and make it so that it doesn't come up as bright and colourful and noticeable, but even those kind words hurt, they make Jay ache even tho they're also soothing his previous hurt.

Not gonna say it You wouldn't say it to me Then you go and say it And you always say what you mean

These lines, oh god. Imagine if Alex had told Jay he loved him at the end of chapter two. Jay would definitely not have said it back, and that would have killed Alex, but Jay would also be stuck overthinking it for the rest of time, assuming that the reason Alex blocked his number and they never got to "do it right" was because he didn't say I love you back.

Because Alex always says what he means, so clearly he meant it when he said he loved Jay, but right at that moment Jay was such a mess of emotions that he couldn't figure out how he felt. He was so in love with Alex that it felt like he was melting from the inside out, because of the kiss on the doorstep. And he also despised Alex with his entire being. Not exactly at the same time, i think he'd more be, like, swinging back and forth in his head fast enough to give him emotional whiplash, yknow?

God i can't wait to make Alex tell Jay he loves him. It's gonna happen at the worst fucking time it'll be agonising.

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OXOX by Dutch Melrose and Lost Boy is uh. jaylex push pull to me

ohhhhhhhhhh you're so right. God this song works so good for them in uni. I was looking for more songs that might fit them then, so i could listen to them while writing "if it aint broken you break it" (i've literally just been listening to creature music by Freshman Biology so far lmao, it doesn't fit the vibe at all lmao)

this song is so fun tho, i love it, it fits uni Jaylex so well, just, constantly pissing each other off for fun (and only sometimes going too far its fiiiiiiiiiiiiine), a constant push and pull and playing hard to get a bit. Idk, they're a mess and I love them :]

[squarebracketsmileyface]

But did we ever consider that maybe the operator was valid??? Maybe he looked at what Alex was filming and said "I can't let that be released."

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Also, chapter 2 of this fic is nearly done, so it shouldn't be too long a wait until i can upload that one as well (unless i suddenly lose all motivation or something awful happens lol)

AND THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THIS FIC IS UP (after a little too much faffing about trying to make ao3 let me write chapter notes on the first chapter, because it was only giving me the option for Fic notes in general)

But the chapter is up, and I finally get to dive into Jay and Alex's university FWB relationship, and show everyone who wonderfully fucked up and not okay the two of them were. (The answer is very. Neither of them are okay and I need to hug them both and force them to talk to each other properly)

Anyway. It does contain smut, though the first chapter is fade to black for most of it, so if that's not your thing, now you can avoid it. If it is your thing, enjoy!

[squarebracketsmileyface]

AND THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THIS FIC IS UP (after a little too much faffing about trying to make ao3 let me write chapter notes on the first chapter, because it was only giving me the option for Fic notes in general)

But the chapter is up, and I finally get to dive into Jay and Alex's university FWB relationship, and show everyone who wonderfully fucked up and not okay the two of them were. (The answer is very. Neither of them are okay and I need to hug them both and force them to talk to each other properly)

Anyway. It does contain smut, though the first chapter is fade to black for most of it, so if that's not your thing, now you can avoid it. If it is your thing, enjoy!

[squarebracketsmileyface]

just a bit of a prewarning, this fic is gonna end up with some dubcon elements in it because of the fact that Jay and Alex aren't really doing okay, so they do kinda pressure each other and themselves into things sometimes. Neither of them really realise they're doing it though?

anyway, thought it'd be a good idea to warn it. there'll be warnings on the fic too but yknow

im doing the tags and stuff for the first chapter of the 5+1 fic right now aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, god i'm so proud of the first chapter, this fic is gonna be so, Jay and Alex are both gonna be sooooooooooo toxic i love them (it's not their faults really, they don't talk to each other and the situations they're in are shitty)

[squarebracketsmileyface]

im doing the tags and stuff for the first chapter of the 5+1 fic right now aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, god i'm so proud of the first chapter, this fic is gonna be so, Jay and Alex are both gonna be sooooooooooo toxic i love them (it's not their faults really, they don't talk to each other and the situations they're in are shitty)