squid-ink-on-toast - Tumblr blog

[squid-ink-on-toast]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

[squid-ink-on-toast]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[squid-ink-on-toast]

i would've fucked so hard as a court jester in ye olde i would've jangled my balls and done a little dance and sang my silly tunes i'd be so good at my job. alas i have to be on tumblr instead which is like a poor imitation of it

[squid-ink-on-toast]

Mh… better ig

Your Tumblr username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?

[squid-ink-on-toast]

[squid-ink-on-toast]

They also adopt! Other creatures sometimes! Everyone is a cat to them :)

Also hey, cultural history time: The reason why cats are associated with women wasn't ultimately and originally about women as sly, cruel, or capricious creatures, but about cats as mothers to their kittens. And yes, sure, reducing womanhood to motherhood and a woman's worth to her fertility is Much Bad, but nonetheless I want to stress that the reason cats became the symbol animal of so many goddesses and were associated with women from thereon wasn't over some "cats and women are sly and selfish, dogs and men are straightforward and loyal uwu" dichtonomy.

It was about cats' tendency to go "I am 4kg of whoop-ass and if you try to touch my eight beautiful children I will fucking kill you."

[squid-ink-on-toast]

There’s a lot of Scooby Doo stuff on Netflix

[squid-ink-on-toast]

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

[squid-ink-on-toast]

get you a man who can do both

[squid-ink-on-toast]

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

[squid-ink-on-toast]

body positivity has largely failed because people started arguing for attractiveness and romantic prospects instead of respect and dignity

[squid-ink-on-toast]

Actual roman epitaph for a dog

[squid-ink-on-toast]

god I fucking love strawberries

[squid-ink-on-toast]

it is so incredibly sad to constantly see kids on instagram and tiktok who are younger than my brother have to literally beg for shelter, food, water, medicine, and their right to exist as human beings

i mean, this young girl is only ten years old, yet she is essentially responsible for convincing random people scrolling through instagram that her and her family’s life are worth fighting for

on top of that, their gofundme is not even 10% funded and time is running out, please if you can’t donate, just share

please don’t let this little girl die begging

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Tulane and his family (@tol.een.nasser)

[squid-ink-on-toast]

[squid-ink-on-toast]

media: the very serious brooding asshole character is actually super deep and complex

me: ok

media: the dumb joke character is actually super deep and complex

me: ghhogoohhh. ohhhh oh mygod. oh m. oh. are you kidding me. oh i am going to throw the fuck up over this

[squid-ink-on-toast]

honestly dni and unfollow me if you support mama after all she's done. she literally has consulted medical professionals over and over and refused to change her behavior re: those under her care. she LITERALLY called the doctor, MORE THAN ONCE, and the doctor very fucking clearly said no more monkeys jumping on the bed. and what happens five fucking seconds later every single time