squirchupufftrash

[squirchupufftrash]

My former boss assigned me to another supervisor months ago because we were located in different time zones. It would be difficult for her to manage schedules.

We were already not in good terms around that time.

I rarely complain about things. I only speak up when I think it’s about something really important. The problem is that nobody listens. That’s one of the reasons why I stopped being friendly towards her late 2021. She only talked to me about it after almost 1 year. I gave very little explanation as I thought nothing would change anyway. My words will not matter.

We had a scheduled call 3 days ago. She told me that 3 days from that day she’ll be leaving the company: that she already resigned. I am aware that she does not owe me anything and that she did not have to inform me sooner, but that just proves to me how insignificant I am to her. My words really did not matter.

When I tried to resign a few years ago she was the one who convinced me to stay. She told me that opportunities would open up for me if I stay. Up to that point I have always been doing things mostly by myself ever since I joined the company. I always felt like I didn’t belong to a team. I always felt alone. I was led to believe that that would change if I stayed. I stayed.

Things did not change. Things even became harder for me sometimes.

One time I was asked to learn a new development platform. Once a week I had to stay past my working hours for more or less an hour to present and give progress updates on a program that I was asked to design and develop. We had to schedule this after my working hours because the people I presented to were located in a different time zone. They never liked my design. Almost each time I presented I was told that my design doesn’t make sense. I was okay with that criticizm. My issue is that they always have a choice to make the design themselves and then just have me implement their ideas. That’s what happens in a lot of development teams anyway. This continued to happen for maybe 2 months. I had to endure feeling being a failure each week and I had to endure that alone. I wouldn’t have mentioned this if I wasn’t angry but those hours were also unpaid. Nothing came out of this activity at least for me. I never got to use this platform and I was still alone. I did not complain.

I do not really complain unless I think I really have to. One instance in which I thought I had to speak up is when I learned that a former employee of the company, who lied about other employees and was (and is still) unapologetic about lying, still goes to the office. I saw this as a problem because who knows if she’s still making up lies about others. I tried to raise this with my then boss but before I even finish saying my request to ban that employee from going to the office for our, the active employees’, protection, she shot down the idea. Her excuse was that that’s not up to her. She’s the only boss who knows what the former employee did. She was not willing to do anything. She was not willing to protect me and the other employees. This proved to me that what I had to say really did not matter.

When it comes to things that would benefit me, people would easily forget. There’s one project that my former boss would tell me almost every year would get migrated but never did. She was the one that should manage the migration but after at least 5 years that still has not happened. I doubt she specifically handed that over to my new manager because we do not really talk about it. Even the issues I raised with them, both former and current managers, about the timesheet tracking system that we’re using were not prioritized. They’ve not been fixed up until now.

Earlier this year I was required to take 2 courses on a tight schedule. This was on top of tasks assigned to me that already have set deadlines. Those 2 courses involve technologies being used by other teams in the company. This again lead me to believe that I am going to be part of a team. We’re nearing the end of the year. I still have not used any knowledge I learned from those 2 courses and I am still mostly alone.

When my former manager and I talked before she left, she told me that I can still go to her if I needed someone to talk to even though she won’t have clout over things since she’ll no longer be with the company. I don’t understand why she had to say that. I never abused her clout. If anything that may even have been used against me as people can easily make requests through her to me. She also told me that she wasn’t even planning to tell me that she already resigned. She learned that the company was going to announce her exit anyway so she decided to inform me as well. This, to me, is proof that the company (or her standing with it) will always and has always been more important to her. I think this is the reason why she wouldn’t grant me that 1 request I mentioned above.

I am not angry that she resigned. It just hurts that she knows almost everything that I went through in this company and she knows almost everything I had to put up with yet she acted like she’s not aware of anything and that everything is okay.

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I wish I weren't alive.

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If I die today, it would be easier for everyone.

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I don't belong here...

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I wish I weren’t alive.

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Me being obligated to meet up with Mark even though I said I do not want to and even though I am obviously emotionally unwell is ADDITIONAL proof to me that NOBODY in the company is willing to protect me and that NOBODY in the company gives importance to what I have to say. No one can say that is not true because I started trying to avoid talking to people (even more) since near the end of 2021 and people are noticing just now. I avoid talking to people because why bother? I’m just trying to protect myself. No one else would. I recently had a complaint (escalation) against me over something that is still on the testing phase that also asked me to be considerate of their timelines while almost everyone forgets that some of what I have been doing in the company would be handled by a team if a different company were to do them. Also recently, there is additional pressure from the 2 courses we are required to take as they have a completion deadline and I am required to give DAILY updates. This is just touching the surface of what I have been dealing with in this company and none of it has been happening in secret.

[squirchupufftrash]

Trust No One

Dawn and Karla both lied more than once. The bosses* acted as if nothing happened. They’re also not willing to protect the other employees vs the liars. I indirectly asked if we can be protected vs Karla by not allowing her inside the office since she is no longer an employee. My words were dismissed as just me still being angry. I wasn’t angry anymore. I just want us, their employees, to be protected.

They should not expect me to be friendly towards them or to anyone in the company. I will not be.

[squirchupufftrash]

POF (Pants on Fire)

😈   =   🎬 🇸🇬 🎭

😈   ➕   🗣🤥   ➡   🙁😢😡 🇺🇳

😈   ➕   🗣🗡🤷‍♂️   ➡   🙁😢😡 🇺🇳

😈   ➕   🗣🤬   ➡   🙁😢😡 🇺🇳

🙅‍♂️   ➕   👎👇   ➡   😈 �� ➕   🙁🙁

😈   ➕   🙁🙁   =   👿

👿   ➕   🗣🤥 =   👦😭🐺

👿   ➕   😢   =   🖊️ 📄

🙎‍♂️   ➕   📄👍 ➡ 👿   ➕   😱

👿   ➕   🗣🤥   =   👿   ➕   🏢👋   ➕   🛑🎬🇸🇬

[squirchupufftrash]

POF Resignation

I wasn’t exactly happy when I found out that Dawn resigned. Relieved, I believe, better describes what I felt. I was relieved that there is no more chance I will have to deal with her or even talk to her. I know that other people still like her because she is/was nice to them and they do not know what she does behind people’s backs. She was nice to me too at first. That’s why I kind of trusted her initially. That’s why I told her something that I shouldn’t have. It happened more than a year before she resigned. She made up some story about what I said and she lied to the bosses about me. She’s willing to sacrifice me because I was not part of her team. She did not care that we work for the same company (that we should work as a team) nor did she care if I lose my job because of her lie/lies. At that time I was already feeling a bit lonely because I did not feel like I was a part of any team. I usually just do things by myself. When I needed help, I usually could not ask anyone because not a lot of people in the company do the same things that I do. What she did made me feel more isolated. I hated her so much. I did not do anything to her to deserve that kind of treatment. I even almost never worked with her before. She is one of the most evil persons that I know personally. I could not believe anyone could do that. She would sacrifice someone she does not really work with just so she could make her and her team look good. She’s a power tripper. A heartless one.

A few days after Dawn lied about me, I sent my boss my resignation letter. I did not want to work in an environment where bad people like Dawn exist. After she found out that I resigned, she was so guilty that she asked my boss (I have screenshots of this) if the reason why I resigned was because of what she said about me. She told my boss more lies. She said that her words were misunderstood. She said to my boss that she’ll reach out to me. She never did. She never acknowledged to me what she did. Why would she even approach my boss about my resignation if she knew she did not do anything wrong? She’s so guilty yet she never apologised.

Everybody lies, but usually you would do that to protect yourself. Dawn lied to hurt other people not to protect herself. People like that are disgusting. To be honest, I am a bit sad that she is leaving. I’m sad that she never apologised about or even admitted what she did. I am also worried that she would still do the bad things that she does because I don’t think she learned her lesson. I think she believes she did not do anything wrong. She’ll never change if she continues to think that. She lied about other people and she would continue to lie about other people. I am still hoping though that is not the case.

At the end of the day, there is nothing I can do about the bad things Dawn did and the bad things she does. I just have let things go, forgive her (who am I not to and I know that’s what God wants me to do) and leave everything up to God. Praying works. Maybe what happened to Dawn in the end was retribution (not just for me, I believe she wasn’t nice to people she did not like) for the things she did. She resigned because practically she was demoted. She is now even acting in a very unprofessional manner towards the person who kind of “replaced” her.

[squirchupufftrash]

Dec (part 5 of 5)

Sa huli ako pa daw yun mali intindi. Nag-sorry si Karla kasi daw mali pagkaintindi ko. Hindi siya nag-sorry dun sa mga kasinungalingan. Hindi na ako magugulat kung ako pa lalabas na masama dito. Baka ako pa lumalabas na nagsinungaling sa ibang tao. Yun last na email ni Karla para ako talaga nipapalabas niya na mali. Na ni-judge ko daw siya ng mali. Pero di naman talaga nag-match yun mga una niya nisabi dun sa emails niya & unfair talaga yun mga nasabi niya. Naiiyak pa daw siya dun sa email niya. Gusto niya kaawaan siya pero di siya naawa kung meron mga masira dun sa mga sabi niya. Ang lakas ng loob manira ng iba pero nun may nagreklamo biglang naiyak? Nagsabi pa siya sakin dati na “napaka foul” ng nigawa sa kanya ni Sir kasi parang nihahanapan daw siya ng butas pero siya naman pala talaga yun foul ang nagawa kasi nagpapauso siya ng story para makapanira ng tao. Baka yun iba mga story niya dati di rin totoo. Dati medyo nasa side din ako nila against kay Sir Donald kasi madalas mararamdaman mo talaga na wala pakialam si Sir sa mga team members pero ito pala naman si Karla dishonest. Mas okay na siguro yun walang pakialam compared sa dishonest. Speaking of yun ganyan na walang pakialam sa ibang tao, yun lagi nagiging issue kay Sir Donald, nun time na medyo kaka-start pa lang ng lockdown dahil sa COVID-19, meron nagsabi na pumunta si Karla sa office kahit na alam niya na PUM siya. PUM or person under monitoring siya kasi meron sa family niya na suspected COVID-19 positive. Nun time na yun, at least ilang days or weeks na nun nagsabi yun management ng office, kasama si Sir Donald, na mag work-from home na yun mga employees. Bakit ni Karla kailangan pumunta ng office nun? Dapat sana nagkaroon na ng enough time na kuhain niya lahat ng kailangan niya for work or kung anong gamit niya na nasa office. Kung may nakalimutan siya sana niantay niya naman lang na ma-clear siya na di na siya PUM. Wala pa masyado data tunkol sa COVID-19 nun kay di pa masyado alam kung gano kadali kumalat nun virus and kung gano katagal pwede mag-survive yun virus sa isang area. Yun ba nagkaroon siya ng pakialam sa ibang tao? Kaya minsan gusto ko bumalik dun sa time na mas maliit yun team e. Nun di ko pa sila lahat kilala.

Sana di ko na makita si Karla. Bibigyan ko sana siy ng benefit of the doubt na baka nga mali intindi ko dun sa ibang nasabi niya, kaso ang hirap palampasin yun pattern ng behavior niya.. yun nagsinungaling siya na hindi niya daw alam na nagamit niya credit card ko pang book ng hotel, yun sa SG trip niya na hindi siya naging upfront kay Mark kaya siya natanong kung bakit siya nag-leave tapos yun pag gawa niya ng story dito. Lahat ng lies or yun pagtago nya ng totoo hindi naman reaction or hindi naman para i-protect yun sarili niya. Kung ganun sana mas madali palagpasin. Lahat naman nagsisinungaling pero madalas para i-protect yun sarili. Yun nigawa niya dito para manira. Yun sa credit card ko para meron excuse kung bakit niya nigamit ng walang paalam. Yun sa SG trip niya ewan ko ba kung bakit di niya agad nisabi kay Mark na hindi naman business trip kung bakit nandun siya nag-stay sa bahay nila. Kung wala siya balak siraan si Sir Donald nun, ni-let go na niya yun e kasi meron din siya fault kasi di nga niya ni-declare sa umpisa pa lang yun purpose ng trip niya (na hindi for business). Pero nabanggit parin niya dun sa isa sa mga emails niya na issue niya yun against kay Sir. Nabanggit ko nga before kay Achel na malamang i-raise parin yan ni Karla pag natanong siya kung ano pa ba mga issues niya kay Sir & naging totoo. Ayaw niya i-let go e meron nga siya mali dun & natanong nga lang din si Sir ng management kaya si Karla natanong kung bakit siya naka-leave. Yun way din ng pag-reply ni Karla sa emails ko patago (Di ko na ni-share lahat ng emails niya pero mostly dun nisagot niya pang yun tanong ko na kung ano pa mga issues niya kay Sir & marami yun & yun iba nga unfair kay Sir). Bakit kailangan tanggalin yun ibang naka cc? Bakit ang hilig niya magtago ng totoo? Di lang alam nila Karla na lahat ng emails & replies ko, ni Karla pati ni Franzel naka-forward sa boss ko for transparency. Nagsasabi ng mga magagandang words si Karla sa harap ng boss ko like “Love ka namin” pero alam naman na din ng boss ko na nagsinungaling din si Karla sa kanya. Mas malala pa nga yun nagawa niya compared kay Dawn. At least si Dawn wala siya friends na nagamit. Pero yun type nila na sinungaling yun delikado. Yun nagsisinungaling ng wala naman talagang reason. Yun pag pauso nila ng story pareho hindi naman dahil meron silang nipapagtakpan. Parang gusto lang talaga nila magsinungaling.

Aware ako na parang napaka negative ko sa lahat ng nangyari. Gusto ko lang naman na wala na sana mangyari na ganito. Gusto ko sana meron mag-sorry sa mga tamang tao (yun nasabihan ng lies, yun nagamit sa lies & yun nisiraan gamit yun lies). Ano ba problema sa pagamin & pag-sorry at hindi magawa? Gusto ko rin sana i-warn yun ibang tao na meron mga ganyan na mabait pag kaharap ka pero pag talikod mo… hindi mo pala mapapagkatiwalaan. Kaso parang wala ako magawa… Feeling ko mas maniniwala mga tao kay Karla kasi siya yun mas fun kasama compared sakin na boring & mabait nga siya pag kasama mo siya. Bawal ko rin nga dapat i-leak yun mga nandito pero gusto ko lang naman na ilabas yun totoo. Okay lang kahit mapagalitan ako.

Edit: Ako pa yun lumalabas na masama kasi di ko daw mapatawad si Karla kasi ayaw ko na pumupunta siya sa office. E di naman yun yun issue ko. Hindi sincire yun pag-sorry niya sakin. Hindi pa rin siya nag-sorry dun sa mga tao na nagsinungaling siya & dun sa mga nisiraan niya. Wala naman naging consequence sa kanya kaya most likely di siya natuto. Pano kung gawin niya ulit sa iba yun manira? Sa tingin ko kaya siya unapologetic kasi di niya alam kung ano yun alam ko. Baka di niya alam na meron ako nun mga screenshots kaya ganun na lang yun way niya ng pag-sorry niya sakin na parang ako pa nasisi. Baka isip niya pwede pa siya makalusot kaya nagsinungaling parin siya dun sa apology niya. Hindi sa hindi ko siya napatawad. Sino ako para hindi magpatawad? Pwede ka naman mapatawad at the same time mag unfriend kung sa tingin mo walang magbabago... I'll just try my best to keep things to myself and shut up. Wala naniniwala sakin.

[squirchupufftrash]

Dec (part 4 of 5)

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Karla’s email (27 April 2020):

Timmy ☹ sobrang sad ako kasi parang iniisip at nffeel mo na walang tamang ginawa si sir for us.na parang sa amin wala lang ☹

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Karla’s words right after she resigned (24 April 2020):

“wala po akong nafeel na support, appreciation e”

“sobrang dami na po tlga lapses”

“lalo na ung pag reject niya sa mga concerns ni renz and sa concerns din ng iba, walang initiative”

—————

Parang nag-contradict?

Right after mag-resign puro negative yun nasabi tunkol kay Sir. Na isa yun sa mga reason kaya siya nag resign pero nun meron nagsabi sa kanya na ang unfair niya biglang hindi naman daw ganun meaning niya. Specific din yun tao na nabanggit. Ganyan “sila” mag-expect kay Sir Donald pero di naman talaga “nila” siya direct supervisor. Yun sa case ni Renz ang magagawa lang naman ni Sir ay kausapin si Dawn and nakausap naman niya. Ano pa gusto nila? Sobrang daming lapses? Siya wala? May mga complaints din naman tunkol sa kanya. Kung gamitin ni Karla reason sa resignation niya si Sir parang ang lahat na lang ng nagawa sa kanya mali. Hindi pa siya directly under kay Sir nyan. Hindi niya rin pwede masabi na hindi niya nigawa yan na reason sa resignation. Yun resignation nga niya yun reason kung bakit meron siya mga nasabi na ganyan. Kahit yun boss ko na dati nasa role ni Sir ngayon, nag-agree na unfair yun expectations “nila” & usually naiipit lang din si Sir sa mga situations. Lagi nga namin nic-compare si Sir dun sa boss ko pero medyo unfair kay Sir kasi mas mataas yun position ng boss ko kahit nun time na hawak niya pa yun role ni Sir ngayon.

Basahin ko nga ulit yun mga sabi ni Karla. Baka ako talaga mali intindi. Mali daw interpretation ko e.

(27 April 2020) - Timmy ☹ sobrang sad ako kasi parang iniisip at nffeel mo na walang tamang ginawa si sir for us.na parang sa amin wala lang ☹

(24 April 2020):

“wala po akong nafeel na support, appreciation e”

“sobrang dami na po tlga lapses”

“lalo na ung pag reject niya sa mga concerns ni renz and sa concerns din ng iba, walang initiative”

Ito continuation…

—————

Karla’s email (27 April 2020):

..ang sinasabe lang po naming ni franzel is yung WAY nya ireach out si management, tska yung sa DOLE po na parang narinig namin. Sabi naman naming wala namang masama mag apply. Wala naman po mawawala. Pero kung declined, edi declined – pero ni try at least. …hindi po monetary yung habol namin.sorry po kung na misinterpret nyo.

…

Sir tim ☹ hindi po naming sinabe kay sir na pahingi ng pera sir na parang napaka insensitive at feeling naming hindi sya part ng pandemic ☹ sorry po kung na misinterpret nyo ☹ pero hindi po ganun sir tim ☹

Sorry po nsasad po ako ng sobra ☹ mgrerest na po muna ako ☹ ☹ ☹

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Karla’s words right after she resigned (24 April 2020):

“katulad ng ganun” … “yun regarding the pandemic… sabi sakin nila franzel, karla, may balita ba kay donald? kahit konting financial aid lang… sabi ko ay wala. (di ko kasi sinabi sknila ung kay astor) tapos sbe ko naku baka kase walang abiso si dawn tska sila mark”

“sbe nila sakin, karla di naman kelangan ni dawn at mark. sana man lang ung guys, pasensya na ha wala masyadong aid pero willing ako magoffer sa team ng konting tulong (not necessarily monetary) tipong maliit na grocery items or anything that would ease the team”

“kaso wala din eh”

“ung mga ganun na bagay”… “kung tutuusin maliit na bagay yun, pero on the other hand, malaki un impact nun. Ako personally pag gumawa ng gnun si donald, iisipin ko, ay concern tlga sya samin, tinry un best nya to help the team. lalo pa at kakaunti lang kami. small things, big things, kapag effort, lahat naaapreciate.”

—————

Wala siya nabanggit na kahit ano tunkol sa pag reach out sa DOLE dun sa una niya na statement pero dun biglang tunkol daw dun yun nasabi “nila” Franzel nun nasa email niya. Parang di nanaman nag-match and parang ang layo? Hindi daw “sila” nage-expect na maglabas ng sariling pera si Sir pero ano yun sabi “nila” na maliit na grocery items? Pano makakapagbigay nun maliit na grocery items ng hindi naglalabas ng sariling pera? Magnakaw? Mag magic? Pano? Specific din sabi ni Karla. Walang ibang interpretation. Kay Sir “sila” nage-expect. Maybe hindi expect yun word na gamit niya pero kung hindi nangyari masama tingin niya so expect na rin yun. Sabi ni Karla nagtanong daw “sila” Franzel kung may balita ba. Kung meron ba daw nabanggit si Sir anything tunkol sa financial aid. Okay, pwede sana na yan part na yan yun nagh-hope sila na meron makuha na aid from the company or sa DOLE like kung ano yun nii-imply ni Karla sa emails niya pero si Karla mismo nagsabi na sabi daw “nila”:

“sbe nila sakin, karla di naman kelangan ni dawn at mark. sana man lang ung guys, pasensya na ha wala masyadong aid pero willing ako magoffer sa team ng konting tulong (not necessarily monetary) tipong maliit na grocery items or anything that would ease the team”

Yan din yun ni-deny ni Franzel na nasabi nila and kung paniniwalaan siya, ibig sabihin nagpauso ng statement si Karla para makapanira ng ibang tao. Kung i-claim ni Karla na hindi niya intention manira, e ano? Bakit siya magpapauso ng statement? Wala ako maisip na situation meron kang good intentions na magpapauso ka ng something na alam mo makakasira sa iba. Medyo na put kaya si Franzel, and to some extent si Renz (kasi nagamit din yun case niya), in a bad light dahil dun sa mga statements na sabi ni Karla na sabi “nila Franzel”. Ang panget kasi nun expectations “nila”. Kasi kung sabi talaga yun “nila Franzel”, ang unfair nila. Meron quotes yun sila & nila sa taas kasi baka di totoo na nasabi nila yun. Kung ganun, nigamit ni Karla friends niya para magpauso ng statement. Kung nagawa niya yan kay Franzel, na i-sacrifice para sa story niya, na matagal niya na na kaibigan, pano pa yun iba? Kung kunyari naman totoo na meron ganun nasabi sina Franzel, nag-agree parin naman si Karla dun sa sabi daw “nila” which again contradicts yun sabi niya sa email na hindi naman sila nage-expect ng aid directly galing kay Sir. Kung ganun din nagsinungaling parin siya tapos pati si Franzel nagsinungaling.

Ito ulit yun pag-agree ni Karla dun sa statement daw nila Franzel:

kaso wala din eh”

“ung mga ganun na bagay”… “kung tutuusin maliit na bagay yun, pero on the other hand, malaki un impact nun. Ako personally pag gumawa ng gnun si donald, iisipin ko, ay concern tlga sya samin, tinry un best nya to help the team. lalo pa at kakaunti lang kami. small things, big things, kapag effort, lahat naaapreciate.”

Kung di siya insensitive bakit nagatungan niya pa yun statement na mukhang pauso niya din? Hindi niya rin naisip yun situation ni Sir Donald. Nagkkwento naman si Sir samin. Aside sa kids niya nags-support din siya sa family niya kasama yun older siblings niya. Meron pa siya sariling health problems.

[squirchupufftrash]

Dec (part 3 of 5)

Karla words right after she resigned (24 April 2020):

“wala po akong nafeel na support, appreciation e”

“sobrang dami na po tlga lapses”

“lalo na ung pag reject niya sa mga concerns ni renz and sa concerns din ng iba, walang initiative”

“tipong maliliit na decision na kaya naman nya gawin for the team, kelangan lagi pang aantayin si dawn and yung higher ops”

“katulad ng ganun” … “yun regarding the pandemic… sabi sakin nila franzel, karla, may balita ba kay donald? kahit konting financial aid lang… sabi ko ay wala. (di ko kasi sinabi sknila ung kay astor) tapos sbe ko naku baka kase walang abiso si dawn tska sila mark”

“sbe nila sakin, karla di naman kelangan ni dawn at mark. sana man lang ung guys, pasensya na ha wala masyadong aid pero willing ako magoffer sa team ng konting tulong (not necessarily monetary) tipong maliit na grocery items or anything that would ease the team”

“kaso wala din eh”

“ung mga ganun na bagay”… “kung tutuusin maliit na bagay yun, pero on the other hand, malaki un impact nun. Ako personally pag gumawa ng gnun si donald, iisipin ko, ay concern tlga sya samin, tinry un best nya to help the team. lalo pa at kakaunti lang kami. small things, big things, kapag effort, lahat naaapreciate.”

[squirchupufftrash]

Dec (part 2 of 5)

Karla’s reply after ko sabihin na ang unfair ng expectations nila (27 April 2020):

Hi Sir Tim,

Sorry po di ko na isama yung 2 sa response ko po sayo….wait nyo na lang po yung sagot nila pero ako po rereplyan kita jan…sorry po kung naisip niyo na ganun yung gusto namin na iparating kay sir na DAPAT sya po magshell out para masupportahan tyo…siguro po ako, nasabi ko po yun more on the empathy side tska yun pong ‘WAYS’ nya ang nihahanap namin…hindi ko naman po inisip na yung pendemic is na ka filter lang sa atin at hindi po siya kasama dun…in fact mas marami syang sinusutentuhan like his family, his own family pati na po ung mga anak nya, other relatives baka meron din, plus po yung gastos nila ni ate Jan dito sa manila. Hindi ko lang po alam kung nasan na yung extent ng pag reach out nya kila pants on fire and with the higher management, given na 3rd world country po tyo experiencing this pandemic…gaya po ng nasabi ko kanina, naappreciate ko na ni raise nya un prorated 13th month.

..ang sinasabe lang po naming ni franzel is yung WAY nya ireach out si management, tska yung sa DOLE po na parang narinig namin. Sabi naman naming wala namang masama mag apply. Wala naman po mawawala. Pero kung declined, edi declined – pero ni try at least. …hindi po monetary yung habol namin.sorry po kung na misinterpret nyo.

Karla’s response after ko sabihin na siya nagbanggit ng pangalan ni Franzel na gumawa ng unfair na statement:

Timmy ☹ sobrang sad ako kasi parang iniisip at nffeel mo na walang tamang ginawa si sir for us.na parang sa amin wala lang ☹ nalulungkot po ako kasi napag isipan ako ng gnyan ☹ ngrereach out ako kay sir, hindi po ibig sbhn na pag may issues before hindi ko na po sya iintindihin. Tao lang po siya hindi perfect. Ako po tao lang din hindi perfect ☹ sana naman po wag niyong iisipin na we always put the hardest of our behavior towards sir ☹ sorry po bigla akong nag breakdown ha, napappasok ako dito sa room ko ksi di ko po napigil umiyak ☹ para po kase akong na judge without knowing whats going on. Ngssbe po ako kay sir pag galit ako, siguro nga hindi lang sa way na iniisip nyo or ng iba kung papano….pero khit tnungin nyo sya, nung naoffend ako at nagalit, sinabi ko un sknya ☹

Sir tim ☹ hindi po naming sinabe kay sir na pahingi ng pera sir na parang napaka insensitive at feeling naming hindi sya part ng pandemic ☹ sorry po kung na misinterpret nyo ☹ pero hindi po ganun sir tim ☹

Sorry po nsasad po ako ng sobra ☹ mgrerest na po muna ako ☹ ☹ ☹

[squirchupufftrash]

Dec (part 1 of 5)

Ang unfair nun mga nasabi against kay Sir Donald kasi yun iba dun sa mga nabanggit nila wala siya control. Nigawa pa siya isa reason ni Karla para mag-resign. Nagamit din ni Karla yun situation ni Renz para lalo mag mukha sila kawawa. Ni-“confront” ko sila Karla, Franz & Renz sa email. Sabi ko nga na ang unfair nila. Nagt-try naman si Sir Donald na mag-reach out sa lahat. Yun mga naging issues dati, nit-try naman niya ayusin & mag-improve. Sabi ko sa kanila puro na lang sila reklamo. Na sana wag naman na nila gawin sa ibang tao pag alis nila. Nitanong ko si Karla kung ano pa ba yun issues niya kay Sir Donald at bakit siya parin yun target nila. Majority dun sa mga nabanggit niya napagusapan na dati. Na parang okay na pero para sa kanya pala hindi pa. Chance niya rin yun para maging understanding, pero she decided na gamitin parin yun mga yun against Sir Donald. Si Sir Donald nga niiintindi na lang na hindi siya maintindihan ng lahat. Pag may mali kami, especially sa performance, gusto namin maging considerate samin pero pag may lapses yun iba, kahit napagusapan na, gagamitin parin against them later on. Nabanggit ni Karla yun sa SG trip niya, na issue daw yun against kay Sir Donald kasi nitanong siya kung bakit siya naka-leave. Right niya daw mag-leave. Di niya kailangan mag explain kahit kanino. Naalala ko na sabi niya dati na parang ganit rin situation na ang foul daw ng nigawa ni Sir Donald. Na parang nihahanapan siya ng butas. Nipaalala tuloy niya din na hindi siya naging transparent / up front kay Mark. Kung nasabi niya agad na hindi siya nasa SG for an official business trip, baka po hindi nautos ni Dawn & ng management na tanungin siya ni Sir Donald kung bakit siya naka-leave. Sumunod lang si Sir Donald pero gustong gusto ni Karla na siya yun i-blame. Nipabayaan niya pa magkagulo mga boss dahil sa kanya. Kung niamin niya agad na meron siya hindi nisasabi, baka di na umabot sa ganun.

Nisabi ko rin sa kanila na ang unfair nila na nag-expect sila ng aid galing kay Sir Donald mismo. Hindi lang si Franzel yun nabanggit ni Karla. Yun term na gamit niya is “nila” kaya ang naisip ko kasama si Renz sa kanila kasi sila naman yun lagi magkakasama & yun situation nga ni Renz yun nagamit ni Karla na example para mas mag mukha walang nie-exert na effort si Sir Donald para sa current situation, which is unfair din kasi ang pwede niya lang naman gawin dun is kausapin si Dawn & nagawa naman niya yun. Sabi ko kina Karla, Franzel & Renz, hindi man lang nila naisip na lahat naman ng tao affected nun Covid-19 situation. Ang unfair nun expectations nila. Dito na nag-reply si Franz. Ni-deny niya na meron siya ganun nasabi. Sumagot ako sa kanya. Sabi ko tanong niya si Karla kasi si Karla nagbanggit ng pangalan niya. Up until that point lahat 4 kami yun nasa thread (meron ibang hidden na ni-add ko for transparency purposes). Nun sumagot si Karla, ako na lang yun nasa thread pati siya. Yun pa lang red flag na. Nitanggal niya si Franz & Renz sa replies niya consciously twice. Twice. Una nun sumagot siya nun sabi ko unfair yun mga nasabi nila & nun nitanong ko siya kung ano pa ba issues niya. Second nun sabi ko kay Franz na si Karla yun nagbanggit ng pangalan niya. Kung wala siya nitatago, bakit niya tatanggalin yun iba. Wala na naman confidential dun sa usapan. Dapat nga ako yun natakot kasi silang tatlo close. Pwede sila magkampihan against sakin. Nasa susunod na post yun replies niya.

Nibabalik niya sakin yun issue. Ako daw yun mali pagkaintindi sa mga sabi niya. Walang ibang interpretation sa sabi niya. Hindi naman daw bad yun tingin niya kay Sir Donald. Pero nag-contradict yun sa mga sabi niya (part 3). Sana totoo yun mga nabanggit ni Karla dun sa mga replies niya pero pag balikan mo yun mga una niya nasabi mukha siyang insincere. Dun pa sa last reply niya sabi niya na-judge siya ng di tama. E yun message kung san siya nag-reply ang sabi ko lang naman kay Franzel tanong niya si Karla, si Karla nagbanggit ng pangalan niya na totoo naman. So sa ibang topic yun reply niya. Parang guilty na siya dun pa lang kasi wala na naman ako nabanggit dun sa last reply ko para ma-“judge” siya. Mas naniwala din ako kay Franzel kaya nag-sorry ako sa kanya. Kasi mukhang pauso lang ni Karla yun statement na nasabi niya daw. Dun rin ako mas lalo nagalit kay Karla. Sabi pa niya sa reply niya na naiiyak siya na na misjudge siya. Bakit niya kailangan sabihin yun? Nagpapaawa lang siya. Naawa ba siya nun nagpauso siya ng makakasira dun sa friends niya?Bakit magpapauso ng statement si Karla para makapanira ng ibang tao at para mag mukha siya kawawa? Matagal na sila friends nila Franzel pero nagamit niya sa kasinungalingan niya. Di naisip ni Karla na aside kay Sir Donald, pwede rin maging bad yun tingin kay Franzel & even kay Renz dahil dun. Na pwede maging bad shot sila sa ibang tao. Bakit mo yun gagawin sa friends mo? Dun pa sa mga matagal mo na friends. So sino ngayon ang foul ang nagawa?

Ang tagal na niya nasabi yun lies niya (24 & 27 April 2020) pero hanggang ngayon (21 September 2020) hindi parin niya niaamin yun mga nasabi niya. Di pa siya nags-sorry dun sa nisabihan niya ng kasinungalingan, dun sa mga nagamit niya na friends pati dun sa nisiraan niya. Yun dun sa SG trip niya, di pa siya nags-sorry sa mga nitaguan niya ng totoo na hindi siya naging honest kay Mark. Wala pa dito yun story sa credit card ko. So sino ulit yun foul yun mga nagawa? Ang nakaka-bother dito mukhang aware si Karla sa lahat ng mga nigagawa niya & hindi siya remorseful. Kung remorseful siya sana nag-sorry na siya sa lahat ng mga tao na dapat siya mag-sorry.

Okay lang din sa kanya na ako mag mukhang mali pagkaintindi / masama / crazy nun hindi siya umaamin. Hindi naman talaga kami ganun ka-close. Hindi niya ako kailangan na friend.

[squirchupufftrash]

As of this writing, 14 September 2020, three people, CD, KE and B, still owe me a total of PhP 72,000.00 (If I remember it correctly. I don’t keep records since I trust, or at least I used to, the people who owed me would pay as soon as they can.).

CD borrowed money from me after he resigned through KE. His father had a medical emergency and he needed someone to take care of him. CD contacted me directly or through KE to borrow money a few times promising he will pay me back in a few month's time. I lent him money each time. His total debt became PhP 40,000.00. I tried to contact him once through email but never really got any replies.

KE owes me money because she used my credit card a few times with and without (at least two times) my permission. I did not keep track of how much she owes me because initially she would pay right away without me asking. Each time she would pay, she would also send me a message. From what I can recall the last time we talked about this, she said that she still owes me money. How much that is, I am not so sure. When I checked my messages history, it seems like she still owes me PhP 12,000.00. I am not also sure though if she will be honest about this. I just realized that she is not someone I can trust.

It’s been more than a year since CD and KE last acknowledged thay they owe me money. I am no longer friends with KE and I do not really know CD that much but the two are friends. B at least acknowledged (July 2020) that they still have not paid what they borrowed from me, PhP 20,000.00. PhP 72,000.00 is just PhP 3,000.00 less than what I earned for one year in my piggy bank. I don’t know if I will still be able to get my money back but that is not really my main issue. What bothers me is that the people who borrowed money from me do not even acknowledge that they still owe me money (Initially including B). I should not have to remind them. They remembered me or thought of me when they needed help even though I am not really that close to any of them.

September 2021: Not a single follow-up from any of the 3.

I saved screenshots of conversations about this as proof.

[squirchupufftrash]

The 𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗻 reason why I had to have my card blocked last year is because there was an unfamiliar transaction that appeared in my CC statement:

GOOGLE *YoungJoy g.co/helppay#GB

Reference Number: 17201003271

Transaction Date: 20 June 2019

Posting Date:21 June 2019

Amount: 999.00

I suppose that’s a mobile app (I did a Google search and some people said it’s for Mobile Legends. I am not so sure about that though.) transaction through Google Play. 🤔

Since I did not want to go through the hassle of disputing the transaction, I just paid for it and had the card blocked. 😢

I need to always check my CC statements. 🤦‍♂️

Part 2 😐: The second reason why I had the credit card blocked is because someone who I used to trust used it a few times without asking for permission first. (I’ll refer to him as Dec.) This is why I was not really that bummed about having the card blocked. I somehow consider that unfamiliar transaction a blessing in disguise because of this. I am not comfortable with having another person except family use my cc anytime he/she wishes to. Dec and I weren’t really even that close. He just had my cc information because he asked me if we could use my card for an event which I was a part of and where he was one of the main organizers.

After the first time Dec used my cc without asking me beforehand, the excuse he gave me was something like: “Oh sorry, I didn’t realize that I still have your cc info saved.” which I thought was deceptive (Dec 😆) but at that time I sort of did turn a blind eye because I also thought that Dec was a nice person. If you think about it though, who does that to their friend? Normally you would check the payment details before completing a transaction. What kind of nice person would lie like that to a friend? Sure, Dec informed me afterwards that he used my card and he paid for what he owed through it, but still he should have asked for permission from me. I believe what he did was illegal. One time (or maybe twice) I even had to to ask him about a(nother) hotel booking that appeared in my transaction history which I believe I shouldn’t have to.

I know I am partly to blame for Dec’s succeeding actions since I never really explicitly told him that I did not like what he was doing. Maybe it did seem like I was okay with it. But then, do I really have to tell him that?

I hate it that I trust people so easily and that I am very gullible. 😥

*Dec is a SHE

[squirchupufftrash]

So I guess the people who have been lied to, the people who were used in the lies and the people who were lied about are not going to get proper apologies.

Lies.

Plural.

Someone lied more than once.

Someone lied over and over and not just about one thing.

Someone lied to and about friends and that someone doesn’t regret lying because that someone even tried to cover their lies with even more lies. That someone acts like nothing happened.

I thought that person was my friend.

I trusted that person.

That’s why I thought I could call that person out for lying but when I did, I was accused of judging them and they said I was misinterpreting the information I received.

We both know that’s not the case.

This is why I am still angry.

Another person lied about me last year but I am no longer angry towards that person even though they never admitted what they did because we’re not friends.

In this case, I really thought we’re friends but apparently we’re not.

Initially after I discovered that SHE lied, I still considered HER as a nice person, but after a long time of HER not giving an apology (not to me, I don’t matter, but to the people SHE hurt), my opinion about HER changed (not that it matters). I don’t think not being apologetic is being a nice person. Had SHE apologized to the proper people, I think they would’ve forgiven HER. It’s never too late to apologize but I guess so much time has passed already. SHE just proved that SHE should not be trusted. Even if SHE apologizes now, I don’t think SHE’ll admit everything. Maybe SHE’ll just make up some more lies along the way to make excuses.

How can a person be so evil towards HER friends? Behind their backs! That’s not what a friend is.

Nobody’s perfect. Everyone lies but not everyone loves lying. Usually people lie to protect themselves, someone else or something, but making up a story just to slander other people is on a different level. I think it’s just so evil.

The two people I mentioned who lied aren’t that much different from each other. They’re nice and friendly when they are in front of you but once you turn your back, they’ll make stories about you without even thinking about the impact that’ll do. They wouldn’t care if your reputation or job or something else important is on the line. They don’t care about what’s the current situation. They’re heartless.

Dec is the main character here.