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sserajeans · 29 days ago

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literally went "oh my god" out loud.. this evil ass ending..

like nothing could touch us - lottie matthews x reader

summary: you were always the responsible one — the perfect student, the reliable teammate, the girl who never partied. But tonight, everything changes. The Yellowjackets won Nationals, the drinks are flowing, and the girls seem hell-bent on making sure you finally loosen up. Between chaotic beer pong rounds, stolen glances, and one kiss you definitely didn’t see coming, you start to wonder if maybe... nothing could ever touch you. Not tonight.

warnings: alcohol consumption, drug use (weed), explicit language, implied internalized homophobia, emotional tension, sapphic tension, brief heated arguments, mild angst, teenage recklessness, canon divergence. pairings include: lottie matthews x reader, jackie taylor x reader (brief), heavy tension with shauna shipman.| words: 5.205k

main masterlist | yellowjackets masterlist

-x-

The bass is the first thing you feel. It rattles through the walls of the house like a pulse — steady, unrelenting — matching the wild heartbeat pounding inside your chest. You grip the strap of your bag like it might anchor you to the earth, but even that feels flimsy compared to the chaos unfolding behind that front door.

You're not sure what you expected. Maybe something tamer. A bonfire, soda, some congratulatory hugs. But this... this is something else entirely.

Laughter spills from the open windows. Shouts. The muffled thud of feet stomping on hardwood floors. Somewhere, someone screams — not in fear, but in that reckless, half-drunk kind of joy that only high schoolers can muster when the world feels small enough to conquer.

You swallow. Hard.

“Look who actually showed up.”

The voice cuts through the noise like a blade — sharp, teasing, familiar. You don’t have to turn around to recognize it. Van.

And of course, where there’s Van, there’s Taissa, leaning against the porch railing, arms crossed, grinning like she knows exactly how out of place you feel.

“Didn’t think you had it in you, champ.” Van’s already stepping closer, draping an arm over your shoulders before you can protest. She reeks of beer and victory. “Ladies,” she calls over her shoulder, “the lamb has arrived.”

From inside, a chorus of cheers erupts.

Your stomach twists. Half embarrassment. Half... something else.

“You don’t have to look so scared,” Taissa smirks, unfolding her arms. “It’s just a party. We won nationals, remember? You’re legally required to have fun tonight.”

“That’s not—” You start, but Van’s already steering you toward the door.

“You know the rules,” she grins. “First party, first drink. No arguments.”

The warmth of the house hits you like a wave. It smells like sweat, cheap perfume, spilled beer, and something sweet — maybe weed. Bodies press together, swaying, laughing, dancing. Neon lights flicker over familiar faces painted unfamiliar in shades of blue, pink, and electric green.

Someone hands you a red plastic cup before you can even think to decline it.

“Here,” Lottie’s voice — soft but insistent — finds you through the noise. She’s close enough that her breath tickles your ear. Her eyes sparkle, lips curved in a mischievous smile that’s nothing like how she looks on the field. “Relax. You earned this.”

You stare at the cup. Your heart is a wild animal.

This is it. Your first party. Your first step into the version of yourself that everyone seems so determined to pull out.

You’re not sure whether to run... or to let it happen.

Van slams the ping pong ball onto the table, sending it bouncing once, twice—straight into the cup at the far corner.

“Boom!” she shouts, throwing her arms up like she just scored the winning goal. “Drink, rookie!”

Taissa laughs, nudging the cup toward you. “C’mon, rules are rules.”

You hesitate — but only for a second now. The burn of cheap beer is starting to feel... less like a threat and more like static buzzing beneath your skin. Warm. Numb. Loud.

“You’re a natural,” Van grins, leaning into your side. “Told you she was secretly a menace.”

Another round. Another shot. Your hands are lighter. Your laugh, freer. The constant pressure of being the good one starts to melt, drop by drop, cup by cup.

Somewhere between missing a shot and almost knocking over the table, Van tugs at Taissa’s sleeve with a smirk that leaves little to the imagination.

“Back in a sec,” Van says, not even bothering to whisper. “Don’t miss us too much.”

Taissa rolls her eyes but follows, fingers laced with Van’s as they disappear down the hallway — giggling, colliding into walls like they don’t care who hears.

You’re mid-sip when someone slides into the spot beside you.

“Look at you,” Lottie hums, head tilted, eyes bright with mischief. “Didn’t think you had it in you.”

You blink, grinning despite yourself. “Neither did I.”

She leans in like she’s about to tell you a secret. “Y’know... I did corrupt Laura Lee in our freshman year.” A playful grin curves her lips. “Looks like it’s your turn.”

Your laugh bubbles out — tipsy, breathless — and maybe it’s the beer, or maybe it’s the weight of Lottie’s gaze that lingers just a second too long, but there’s something electric in the air now.

Before you can answer, a cup crashes onto the table.

“Move,” Shauna snaps, voice rough, words slurred. She’s flushed, eyes glassy, jaw clenched like she’s seconds away from throwing hands at the next person who looks at her wrong. “I’m in.”

Lottie arches a brow. “Oookay. Welcome to the game?”

You glance at Shauna — tense, unpredictable — and then at Lottie, whose expression shifts, reading the room like it’s a chessboard.

Shauna barely acknowledges you, grabbing the ball with more force than necessary. Her hands tremble — not from nerves, but from something simmering beneath the surface. Rage. Guilt. Maybe both.

Across the room, Jackie laughs — high-pitched, sharp — spinning in the crowd, drink in hand, pretending the tension doesn’t exist. Or maybe fueling it. Her eyes dart toward the table. Toward Shauna.

And then, like clockwork, she saunters over.

“Hey,” Jackie chirps, fake-sweet, not even sparing Shauna a glance. Her hand finds yours without warning, fingers curling around your wrist. “You. Come dance with me.”

It’s not a request.

You stumble after her — half dragged, half following willingly — as Lottie chuckles under her breath, watching like the whole thing is some cosmic joke unfolding exactly as it should.

Shauna mutters something under her breath — sharp, bitter — but you’re already swallowed by the crowd, by the heat, by Jackie’s hand tight around yours as neon lights flicker over her perfect, furious smile.

You’re not sure if you’ve been saved... or if you’ve just landed in the middle of something even messier.

The bass shifts — deeper now, heavier — as Jackie pulls you into the throng of bodies. The air is thick with sweat and perfume, with the static hum of too many voices, too much heat, too much everything.

Her fingers are still around your wrist, but softer now. Familiar. Comfortable. The kind of touch that says, You’re mine, just for now.

“God,” Jackie laughs, tossing her hair over one shoulder, “you really have no idea how much I needed this.”

You spin with her, letting the rhythm take over, not because you're particularly good at this, but because Jackie dances like gravity bends for her — wild and effortless, the kind of girl who commands attention just by existing.

You’ve always known you were different. Where she’s all polished chaos, you’re structure and discipline. Where she dives headfirst, you calculate. And yet… you’ve always liked her. Not in the messy, suffocating way Shauna does — no. Yours is something steadier. A quiet kind of affection. An understanding that neither of you ever really bothers to name.

Her hands find your waist, pulling you closer than necessary. Her smile is sharp, playful, but her eyes — her eyes are somewhere else entirely. Across the room.

You don’t have to look to know who she’s watching.

Shauna.

Of course.

Jackie laughs again — breathless, almost manic — swaying her hips like it’s about the song, but you can feel the tension radiating off her in waves.

“You know,” you lean in, raising a brow, “if you’re trying to make someone jealous… you should probably commit.”

That earns you a sharp look. Amusement. Challenge. Her hands tighten, fingers pressing into your hips. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” You grin, reckless from the alcohol and the music and the fire simmering beneath your skin. “Go big or go home, Jackie.”

For half a second, she just stares — like you’ve flipped a switch she didn’t know existed.

And then —

Her fingers slide up, cupping your jaw, and before you can process what’s happening — before you can breathe — Jackie kisses you.

Hard.

Not soft. Not testing. Not pretending.

Her mouth crashes into yours with the kind of desperation that has nothing to do with you — and everything to do with the girl burning holes into her back from across the room.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not real.

Her hands are in your hair. Yours — without thinking — grip her waist. There’s a second, maybe two, where the whole party dissolves. The lights, the noise, the tension. It’s just her — familiar and foreign all at once.

When she pulls back, her lips are flushed, her eyes wild. She laughs — breathless, biting. “There. You happy?”

You blink. Then grin. “Oh, I’m not the one you should be asking.”

Jackie tilts her head, about to retort — but her gaze flicks past you, and something sharp flashes in her eyes.

You don’t need to turn to know Shauna’s watching.

And suddenly, you realize you’ve just lit a match.

Thrown it straight into a powder keg.

And now… it’s about to blow.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Shauna’s voice cuts through the music like a blade — sharp, ragged, dripping venom.

Before you can even process what’s happening, she’s there, shoving her way through the crowd, eyes burning, fists clenched like she’s seconds away deconstructing the universe with her bare hands.

Jackie stiffens, but doesn’t move. Not yet. Her spine locks straight, chin tilted up, like she’s ready for the hit before it lands.

“Oh, what’s this?” Shauna sneers, arms flinging out dramatically. “Little Miss Perfect playing gay now? Is this—” she waves between you and Jackie, “—just your new performance, huh? Gotta make sure everyone’s still looking at you.”

The crowd starts to hush. Not fully — not yet — but the shift is palpable. People elbowing each other, leaning in. Watching.

Jackie’s smile falters, flickering like a candle in the wind. “Screw you, Shauna.”

“No, screw you,” Shauna snaps, stepping closer, her finger jabbing toward Jackie’s chest but stopping just short. “You’re not fooling anyone. You don’t care about her. You don’t care about anyone. You just can’t stand not being the center of the goddamn universe for five minutes.”

Jackie’s mouth opens, but nothing comes out.

And then — Shauna scoffs, bitter, broken. “You’re not even gay, Jackie.”

Silence.

Heavy. Brutal. Total.

It sucks the oxygen straight out of the room.

Jackie’s eyes widen — just for a second — then drop. Her hands tremble, trying to curl into fists, trying not to — trying something. Her lips press together so tight they almost disappear, but the shimmer in her eyes betrays her.

“Oh my God,” she chokes — more to herself than anyone — before spinning on her heel.

She pushes through the crowd, head ducked, shoulders tight, one hand scrubbing at her face like she can physically erase the way everyone is looking at her right now.

The crowd scatters, murmuring, unsure whether they’ve just witnessed a tragedy, a breakup, or a murder in slow motion.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough!” Van’s voice booms from across the room as she and Taissa shove their way back in, dragging the rest of the team with them. “Everyone chill the hell out!”

Natalie appears, grabbing someone’s speaker, cranking the music lower. “Party’s over, unless you want someone calling the cops.”

Lottie’s hands are up, her tone weirdly calm for the chaos. “Let’s just... let’s breathe, yeah? Breathe.”

People slowly retreat, pretending to busy themselves with drinks, conversations, anything but the tension lingering like smoke in the air.

You exhale — slow, controlled. You turn to Shauna.

She’s still seething, arms crossed, jaw clenched, like every muscle in her body is begging for an excuse to throw another punch — verbal or not.

You keep your voice steady. Cool. “You’re going after her.”

Shauna scoffs. “The hell I am.”

“Yeah,” you nod, stepping closer, not blinking. “You are. Because if you don’t, I will. And you know damn well... I’m not the one she needs right now.”

Her eyes flash. “Don’t—” Her voice breaks. Just a little. “Don’t tell me what to—”

“Shauna.” Your tone cuts, quiet but lethal. “Last chance.”

She stands there — vibrating with rage, shame, regret, all of it knotted together in that impossible mess that is her and Jackie.

Then — with a sharp, frustrated groan — Shauna shoves past you. “Goddammit.”

You watch her storm after Jackie, her footsteps loud against the hardwood, like she hates every step it takes to get to her.

And you?

You turn the other way.

Because sometimes the best thing you can do... is not be caught between fire and gasoline.

“Hey.”

You barely register the voice before a hand wraps gently around your wrist, tugging you toward the side hallway — away from the crowd, the leftover tension, the wreckage of the fight.

It’s Natalie.

“C’mon,” she tilts her head, smirking. “You look like you could use... literally anything else right now.”

You follow — maybe because you don’t want to go back to the party, maybe because you don’t know where else to go.

A narrow stairwell, a rickety door that groans against its hinges — and then the night spills open around you.

The rooftop.

Wide. Quiet. A little bit magic.

From here, the party looks smaller. People are filtering out, climbing into cars, stumbling down sidewalks, fading back into their normal, boring, post-championship lives.

Natalie flops down onto the ledge like she owns the place, legs stretched out, boots scuffed, her leather jacket pulled tight against the breeze. “Not bad, huh?”

You sit beside her, hugging your knees. “Honestly... kinda perfect.”

She grins, reaching into her jacket. “Yeah, well. It’s about to get better.”

A joint appears between her fingers, expertly rolled. She flicks a lighter. Flame catches. She inhales, holds, then exhales slow — a cloud of smoke curling into the night.

Natalie offers it to you with a raised brow. “First time?”

You hesitate. Then laugh — half-nervous, half-resigned. “Obviously.”

“Relax. It won’t kill you.” She shifts closer, holding it out. “Deep breath in. Hold it. Then out.”

You take it. Fingers awkward. Lips uncertain.

Inhale.

It burns — rough and foreign — but not as bad as you expected.

You cough anyway. Hard. Natalie laughs, banging a hand against your back. “Oh yeah. There it is.”

You cough through a grin. “You’re the worst.”

“Damn right.” She leans back, arms braced behind her, gazing up at the stars like none of this — the chaos, the drama, the world — really matters. “Not bad for your first party, huh?”

You shake your head, giggling. “Not bad at all.”

A comfortable silence settles.

Down below, the music is dying. The house is half-empty now. Just stragglers. Voices softer.

Natalie breaks it first. “You think about what’s next?”

“Hm?”

“College. Life. After all this.” She gestures vaguely — at the town, the rooftop, the weird little bubble of high school you’ve all been trapped in.

“Yeah...” You hug your knees tighter. “It’s weird. I spent so long trying to be... good. Perfect. Soccer, grades, all of it. And now it’s like... what happens if that’s not enough out there?”

Natalie hums. Passes the joint back. “Yeah, well. Apparently... we’re getting full-ride offers. Athletic scholarships. All of us.”

Your head jerks toward her. “Seriously?”

“Dead serious.” Her grin turns crooked, proud. “Coach’s been hinting at it. We won nationals. People notice that shit. It’s... kinda fuckin’ awesome, actually.”

“Fucking awesome,” you echo, laughing as the words taste weird and reckless in your mouth.

Natalie nudges your shoulder with hers. “See? You’re learning.”

You tip your head back, looking at the stars. The high starts to settle — warm, floaty, like your bones have turned into something softer, lighter.

For a moment, nothing hurts. Nothing’s complicated. Not Jackie. Not Shauna. Not growing up.

Just you. Natalie. The rooftop. The quiet.

“You think we’ll be okay?” you ask, voice small but honest.

Natalie doesn’t answer right away. She takes one more drag, then flicks the ash into the night.

“Yeah,” she says finally. “I think we will. One way or another.”

And for the first time in a long, long while — you believe it

“Do you think…” You trail off, lazily passing the joint back to Natalie. “Are we all... really gonna go our separate ways?”

Natalie leans her head back, blowing smoke toward the sky. “Yeah. Looks like it.”

“That’s insane.” You blink, processing it. “Like... even Shauna and Jackie?”

Natalie snorts. “Especially Shauna and Jackie. Can you believe that shit?”

You glance down over the edge of the roof, legs dangling. The scene below is quieter now. Shauna and Jackie stand near the curb, talking. Not fighting. Not yelling. Just... talking. The tension between them’s still thick, but it’s the kind that holds things together instead of ripping them apart.

“I thought they’d never... y’know. Be apart. Like... physically impossible. Like magnets or something.”

Natalie hums, tapping ash off the joint. “Yeah. But... I dunno. Maybe it’s for the best. Different states, different colleges... maybe they’ll survive each other that way.”

You follow her gaze as it shifts to the yard. Mari and the other girls are laughing, posing for selfies, making dumb faces, clinking red cups together. There’s a sense of something final in it. A last hurrah before the world starts expecting more from them than goals and wins.

Then — Misty.

Hovering near the edges. Shuffling from group to group. Smiling too wide, laughing half a second too late. Trying. Failing. Trying again.

Your chest pinches, soft and sympathetic.

Without thinking, you press two fingers to your lips and let out a sharp, loud whistle. Heads turn — including Misty’s. She looks up, startled.

“Hey!” You wave her over. “Up here!”

Misty blinks. Points at herself. “Me?”

“Yeah, you! Come on!”

She practically scurries toward the back door, disappearing inside with the enthusiasm of someone who just won the lottery.

Natalie groans beside you, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Jesus. You had to do that?”

You nudge her, grinning. “Don’t pretend you don’t like her. You two are practically besties... you know... after the plane crash that never happened.”

Natalie stares at you, deadpan, then laughs — an actual laugh, bright and sharp. “Shut the fuck up.”

Footsteps echo up the stairwell. A moment later, the door bursts open, and Misty pops her head out, beaming. “Oh my God, I’ve never been on the roof before! This is so cool!”

She scrambles over, sitting way too close, cross-legged, hands folded eagerly in her lap. “Hi! Hi, guys!”

Natalie wordlessly passes her the joint. Misty stares at it like she’s just been handed an ancient relic. “Oh... oh, wow. Okay. Okay. Um...”

She takes a delicate inhale — more like a sip of smoke than a drag — and immediately starts coughing, red-faced, waving her hands. “Oh—God— oh my God—”

You and Natalie both double over laughing.

“Yup.” Natalie smirks, shaking her head. “Natural-born stoner, that one.”

Misty gasps, recovering, eyes watering but bright. “This is the best night ever.”

And somehow... looking out over the fading party, with Natalie’s lazy smirk on one side and Misty’s chaotic grin on the other... you almost believe it.

You’re not sure how long you stay up there — time gets slippery when you’re a little high, a little drunk, and a little too aware that nights like this don’t happen often.

The three of you just... talk. And laugh. Dumb stories from practice, inside jokes from bus rides, weird moments from tournaments that seemed like the end of the world back then and now feel like nothing but warm memories.

Eventually, the backyard empties. No more strangers. No more random classmates. Only Yellowjackets. The real ones.

It’s fitting that the last night of high school belongs to the team.

You lean back on your hands, grinning at something Misty says — some ridiculous story about the time she accidentally locked herself inside the equipment shed and had to Morse-code bang on the door for an hour before Coach noticed. Natalie rolls her eyes but smiles anyway, nudging her boot against Misty’s shin in that way that’s almost playful. Almost tender.

And that’s when it clicks.

The way Natalie’s watching her — like she’s pretending not to watch. The way Misty laughs a little too hard, a little too eager. The space between them... barely a breath.

Huh.

“Uh...” You push up suddenly, brushing your palms on your jeans. “I... I gotta pee.”

“Classy,” Natalie snorts.

“Yeah, yeah,” you laugh, waving her off as you head back toward the stairwell. “Try not to traumatize each other while I’m gone.”

Downstairs, the house is quiet now — or, quiet in that way that big, expensive houses always are. The kind of silence that echoes.

The bathroom takes longer to find than it should — stupid mansion. But eventually, success. Mission accomplished.

Except... when you step back into the hallway... nothing looks familiar.

You turn left. Then right. Then — another left? Or maybe that was the same hallway?

And that’s when you push open the wrong door.

Lottie’s room.

The first thing you notice is that it’s... warm. Not literally — the AC hums somewhere in the walls — but in the way it feels. Soft. Lived-in. Comfortably chaotic in a way you didn’t expect.

There’s a wall of Polaroids — crooked lines of tiny, frozen moments. The team at practice. Jackie mid-cartwheel. Shauna flipping someone off. Natalie holding a trophy over her head, grinning like the world belongs to her. Misty and Van doing some dumb cheer pose.

A bulletin board cluttered with ticket stubs, flower petals, scraps of fabric, ribbons from tournaments. Little pieces of memory, pinned in place like she’s afraid of forgetting anything.

Her bookshelf is lined with worn paperbacks. Some poetry. Some philosophy. Some weird esoteric stuff you don’t even recognize. Crystals sit in mismatched bowls. A tarot deck half-tucked under a notebook. Candles. Little glass jars filled with — what, herbs? Stones? Whatever magic Lottie believes in.

And in the corner — the unmistakable sight of a folded Yellowjackets jersey, perfectly stacked, number 10 facing out. Yours.

You smile. Something warm pulls at your chest — not quite nostalgia, not quite affection. Something else. Something softer.

It’s sweet. It’s... Lottie. All of it. The whole room feels like her. Like a secret only a few people ever get to see.

You trail your fingers lightly over the edge of her desk, glancing at the framed photo there — all of you together, arms slung over shoulders, laughing, sweaty, stupidly proud after a win.

Yeah. This... this might be the end of something. But it was something good.

“Oh.”

The voice behind you makes you jump — sharp, startled — spinning around like a kid caught stealing cookies.

Lottie stands in the doorway, one hand on the frame, eyebrows raised. Not angry. Not exactly. More... surprised. Amused.

“Didn’t know you were the snooping type,” she says, voice light, teasing. “Kinda creepy, not gonna lie.”

Your face burns instantly. “What— no— I wasn’t— I just—” You stumble over your own words, waving your hands like that might erase the moment. “I got lost! I swear. I was just trying to find the bathroom.”

There’s a beat. And then — a soft laugh, a little awkward, a little shy. “I was kidding. Just... joking.” Her fingers drum nervously against the doorframe before she finally steps inside. “You’re fine.”

Still, there’s this... weird tension. Not bad. Not uncomfortable. But... charged.

For a second, neither of you knows where to stand. Where to look. You glance back toward the wall of Polaroids like it might save you. “Your room’s... nice,” you offer, lame but honest. “It’s... really you.”

Lottie smiles — soft, a little crooked. “Yeah. Thanks.”

Silence creeps back in, thicker this time. Heavy with all the things neither of you has ever said out loud. Things that have always sat quietly between you, in stolen glances, in almosts, in maybe-one-days that never came.

You clear your throat, desperate to fill the space. “Hey... uh... looks like Shauna and Jackie actually managed to... you know. Talk. Like normal humans. Pretty impressive for a final night miracle.”

Lottie hums. But her smile fades a little. Something flickers behind her eyes — hesitation, maybe. Or... nerves.

Her gaze drops, fingers fidgeting with the hem of her sleeve. “Yeah... um... speaking of... earlier...”

You blink. “Earlier?”

Her eyes lift, meeting yours — uncertain, but steady. “The thing with... Jackie.”

Oh.

Right.

The kiss.

The breath catches somewhere in your chest. “What about it?”

Lottie bites the inside of her cheek — she does that when she’s trying to look casual but isn’t pulling it off. “I just... I mean... What did that... mean?”

The air thins.

It’s not an accusation. Not jealousy, either — not exactly. It’s... softer than that. But cautious. Vulnerable in a way Lottie rarely lets herself be.

And you — for a second — you have no idea what to say.

Your stomach twists. Something cold flickers beneath your ribs.

“Oh.” You blink, forcing a laugh that feels too thin, too sharp around the edges. “I mean... it— it was nothing. You know how... parties are.” You wave a hand, trying for casual, but it shakes. “Drunk girls. Dumb dares. Jackie being... Jackie. Probably just trying to piss off Shauna or— I don’t know. Whatever.”

It’s a lie. It tastes like one. Bitter. Heavy.

Lottie doesn’t buy it. Not for a second.

Her brows knit together, lips pressing into a thin line. “No.” Her voice is soft but certain. “We both know... Jackie’s not pretending. Not about this.”

Your breath catches.

She’s right.

Jackie’s kissed too many girls at too many parties when she thought no one was paying attention. And cried too many times after. Into your shoulder. Into Natalie’s. Into Van’s. Like she’s trying so hard to outrun something that’s always been stitched into her skin.

And none of you ever said anything. None of you ever will. Not until she’s ready.

You swallow hard, shoulders stiffening, defensive. “So... what? Is that a problem for you?” The words come sharper than you mean. Harsher. “Us being... girls? Was that the point of the question? Jesus, Lottie, it’s the nineties. I know how people are.”

Lottie’s eyes widen — startled, almost hurt. “No!” she blurts, stepping closer. Hands half-raised like she could physically catch the words before they hit. “No, it’s— it’s not— I don’t—” She stumbles, breath hitching, fingers fisting at her sides.

Then, softer, shakier: “It’s not about that.” Her gaze drops, lashes fluttering against her cheeks. “I don’t care if Jackie likes girls. That’s not... that’s not what this is.”

You frown. “Then what—”

She looks up. And it’s the most open, the most bare you’ve ever seen her. Voice trembling but steady enough to shatter you.

“I just...” Her throat bobs. “I just care if she likes you.”

Silence.

Loud. Deafening. Crushing.

Your mouth opens, but nothing comes out.

Because oh. Oh.

It was never about Jackie. Not really.

It was always about you.

And her.

And everything you’ve both been too afraid to say.

You blink. Once. Twice. Your brain tries to catch up, to process the fact that Lottie Matthews — Lottie Matthews — just admitted that this... whatever this is between you... matters.

A laugh bubbles out of your chest — breathless, disbelieving, a little stupid. You wave a hand like you can somehow play it cool, but you’re grinning. Wide. Hopelessly wide. “Wow. Okay. Um... yeah. Yeah, same. I...” You shake your head, laughing softly. “God, I feel like an idiot saying this, but... yeah. I care. About you. A lot.”

You glance down, fingers fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. “I mean... sure, I care about Jackie. Of course I do. But that’s... different. It’s always been different.” Your gaze lifts, searching hers. “Jackie and Shauna... it’s like... like gravity. They fight it, but no one else even stands a chance. No one ever did.”

Lottie’s lips part — eyes soft, shining, like she wasn’t expecting to hear that. Like it hits her somewhere deep. Somewhere she’s been trying not to look.

And then — it’s like the air itself shifts. The tension coils, thick and electric, pulling tighter and tighter between you.

Neither of you moves. Not for a heartbeat. Not for two.

Until you do.

You step in. Closing the space.

And Lottie — startled — jolts back a half step, hitting the wall behind her with a soft thud. But she doesn’t pull away. Doesn’t stop you. If anything, the way her hands twitch at her sides says she’s waiting. Hoping. Begging.

Your fingers brush her wrist first — hesitant, testing — then trail up, feather-light, until they rest against the curve of her neck. Her pulse races beneath your touch, wild and frantic, matching your own.

Your nose brushes hers. A shared breath. A tremor of anticipation.

“This...” you whisper, lips barely grazing hers, “...feels like the best way to end the party.”

Lottie laughs — soft, nervous, dizzy. Her hands slide up — trembling — fingers curling at the back of your neck like she’s terrified you’ll change your mind. “Yeah,” she breathes, voice cracking around the edges. “Kissing the girl I’ve been in love with for... God, forever... definitely beats beer pong.”

The smile is still tugging at both your lips when you finally — finally — close the distance.

It’s not rushed. Not rough. It’s a slow, aching, devastating kind of soft. A kiss that tastes like every unsaid thing. Every secret look. Every almost. Every what if.

Her fingers tighten, pulling you closer. Like you could possibly get close enough.

Like maybe... you were always supposed to be here.

The kiss burns. Sweet and devastating, like fireworks under your skin. Her hands tangle in your hair, your fingers press desperately into her waist, and for one beautiful, impossible moment… nothing else exists.

Nothing but her. Her laughter. Her breath hitching against your lips. Her whisper: “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

So long.

But the fireworks... shift. Morph. Crackle into something else.

A sharp snap. A distant, guttural scream.

Then—cold. Bone-deep, suffocating cold.

Your eyes fly open.

Darkness. Trees. Snow. The suffocating press of the wilderness. No music. No laughter. No Lottie. No Jackie. No anyone.

Just you. Alone.

Your breath comes in frantic gasps — fogging the frigid air. Your pulse is a brutal drumbeat against your ribs, and for a split second, you don’t know where you are. You don’t want to know.

But reality doesn’t wait for permission.

It comes back like a fist to the chest.

The plane. The crash. The blood. The hunger. The endless, gnawing hunger.

And Jackie — oh, God. Jackie. Her face is still fresh in your mind — smiling, flushed, alive. But here... here she’s a frozen corpse, half-shrouded in snow. Half-eaten.

Your stomach twists — empty, furious. A predator screaming for meat you refuse to give it.

You won’t.

You won’t eat her. Not her. Not anyone.

Even if it means wasting away.

Even if it means dying.

Tears sting hot against your freezing skin. You wipe them away with shaking hands, forcing yourself upright. Your limbs ache. Your bones ache. Your soul aches.

The dream lingers. A cruel, perfect mirage of everything you’ve lost. Everything that was supposed to be yours. A life that never got to happen.

Lottie. Jackie. Natalie. Van. Taissa. Shauna. All of them. Laughing. Loving. Fighting. Living.

But that was then.

And this... this is now.

It’s time to wake up.

It’s time to let go.

Another step. Another day. Another mile between you... and what used to be the Yellowjackets.

#ren reads #jesus christ..

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sserajeans · 2 months ago

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hi renren 😜🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

ur not subtle..

#re(n)plies

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sserajeans · 2 months ago

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Rereading 'you are in love' for a hundred times now (i still love it)

DAMN im ac surprised u rmb it 😭🙏 this is very flattering and im so very glad u enjoy it so much anon!! happy to bring some kind of joy to u through yail :)

#re(n)plies #yail

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sserajeans · 7 months ago

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hi……

hi......

#re(n)plies #wallfl9wer

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sserajeans · 7 months ago

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well hello there

#re(n)plies #wallfl9wer

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sserajeans · 8 months ago

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i just binged the whole 'you are in love' smau and 😭😭 it's so amazing- i can't even form a proper thought rn 👏🏼

hi!!!! ur so sweet im so glad u liked it 😭❤️ and im so sorry it's still unfinished despite it being a bit around a year now 😭.. i do have plans to finish it though!! just cant really give an estimate as to when..

thank u again for reading through all of it and im really happy u enjoyed 🥹

#re(n)plies

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sserajeans · 8 months ago

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more katseye content on this app 👹👹👹👹👹

#renthoughts #HEHEHEHEHHEHEHE

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sserajeans · 9 months ago

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GIRLLRLLELTKSRSKWKEKE........

SO HIGHSCHOOL , HANNI PHAM

“you know how to ball, i know aristotle!”

✎ SYNOPSIS — in which hanni falls for the captain of the basketball team, despite you two being complete opposites.

✎ PAIRING(S) — yearbook/newspaper student!hanni x athlete!reader

✎ WARNING(S) — blood mentioned, injuries, kissing, lowkey rushed i wanted to get it out for her birthday 😭

a/n— ily yearbook girlie hanni pham!! also happy birthday hanni

it was unreal to haerin how her best friend had fallen in love with y/n. hanni pham of all people was deeply in love with you, someone who barely even looked her way. hanni even showed up to all your games making the excuse that it was so she could take photos for the school newspaper, but everyone knew it was just for you.

it was one of those days right now actually, hyein and haerin sighing as they accompanied hanni to make sure she didn’t do anything stupid.

you and your teammates were currently strategizing, the other team calling a timeout as your team was up by forty points.

“han what even is interesting about this, every game y/n makes like five threes and carries her team to victory. nothing else ever happens.” hyein complains, making hanni roll her eyes.

“and then she gaslights herself into thinking y/n shot them all for her.” haerin says, making hanni side eye her.

“all you guys do is complain,” hanni groans, “also i do not gaslight myself?! she really does shoot them for me.” hanni says.

“you’re insane.” haerin says simply, making hanni come back to reality.

“my bad.” hanni mutters, grabbing her camera again as the timeout concluded.

the girl had an insane amount of photos already, some of your best plays coming from this game. it was concerning how much of cameo you made in each new issue of the newspaper, it was actually something you noticed recently but you brushed it off and just thought you were having a good season.

you were running down the court waiting for a pass when a bright flash blinded you, making you groan. you looked up to see three girls in the stands, scrambling and yelling at each other. two of them were yelling at the girl with a camera on her neck, the girl having her hand over her mouth in shock.

“hanni you cannot be serious right now.” hyein deadpanned, looking at her older friend.

“I DIDN’T KNOW IT WOULD DO THAT?” hanni says, her hand quickly making its way to cover her mouth.

she would never recover from this, she looked down to see if you noticed just to see you staring directly at her making her heart drop.

“hyein.”

“hanni?”

“look.”

“oh my god.”

“i blinded the love of my life.” hanni says, sinking down into her seat.

“how do you manage to ruin everything.” haerin says, making hanni roll her eyes and ignore her friend.

your teammate hadn’t realized you weren’t paying attention, the girl throwing the ball to you for an easy shot. her jaw dropped when she saw you fall to the ground, the ball leaving a big red mark on your face.

the ref blew his whistle, calling a timeout in which all of your teammates ran towards you to figure out what happened.

“y/n what are you doing?!” yujin shouts, anger laced throughout her voice.

you didn’t even understand the girl as you just barely woke up from your small sleep, causing you to touch your head and feel blood.

“ah shit.” you curse, the pressure of your hand sending pain coursing through your body.

“y/n did you hear me?! what the hell are you doing?” yujin repeats, your other teammates concerned.

“yujin..” was all you could mutter before you saw black. you knew it was over, this was most definitely your last game of the season.

back up in the stands hanni couldn’t believe her eyes, all because of her stupid camera flash you were now injured.

“hanni, you actually just may have made the most insane fuck up of all time.” haerin says.

“i genuinely have no words.” hanni says, her eyes trained on you as your teammates carry you out the gym. the match even had to be finished early, with the lead your team had it didn’t even matter much.

if hanni even thought she had any chance with you before, it was most definitely gone now. she didn’t even know how she fucked up this bad.

—

the next day hanni anxiously tapped her fingers against her usual lunch table, danielle and minji confused at her unusual antics.

nobody knew what y/n was looking at while she was distracted, so it was a complete mystery to the two girls what had happened yesterday.

“hanni, are you good?” minji asks, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“yeah! just anxious about my spanish test.” hanni lies quickly, looking around after like she was being interrogated for a crime.

“um okay..” minji says, she knew there was no spanish test today (they had the same class..) but she chose to not question any further.

a small conversation picked up between dani and hyein, haerin sometimes chiming in with minji. hanni couldn’t even focus, she was so unbelievably worried about you.

hanni couldn’t get image of you on the ground out of her head, a lingering feeling of guilt following her everywhere. thankfully she had yet to see you, she knew she would probably break down.

hanni was also nervous that you would confront her, tell her that she ruined your life or that she was awful but she knew you wouldn’t. that was what drew her towards you. regardless of how your friends and teammates acted, you were the kindest person ever. whenever a new issue came out you would compliment her on her work, as hanni usually worked on the sports section alone. it was a simple gesture really, but coming from you it meant the world to hanni.

in conclusion the girl was smitten with you, and she wanted nothing more than to know you were okay.

—

hanni knew it was stupid. but she let herself walk into the nurses office, where you currently were getting checked on.

hanni thought it would be fine, considering they had a student nurse at the moment who she knew well. she walked in and greeted her friend, the older boy smiling at her.

“hi hanni.” huening kai greets the girl quickly, before turning back his attention to your wound.

“oh sorry kai, i didn’t know you still had someone in here.” hanni apologizes, knowing well she knew you were in there.

you stared at hanni in disbelief, you couldn’t really see her when you were on the court so her beauty amazed you. maybe it was okay that she blinded you, and also sort of caused you a major injury.

“no worries hanni! i actually need to go grab something from the main office really quickly, can you watch y/n for me?” kai says, to which hanni nods almost immediately.

“thanks! y/n keep your head down.” kai commands, noticing the way you sat up to look at hanni.

“oh yeah, sorry..” you mutter, laying back down slowly as kai left.

there was a moment of silence, before you sat up almost immediately alarming hanni.

“y/n you’re gonna—“ hanni starts, being cut off by you.

“it was you, wasn’t it.” you say eerily, further examining hanni’s face.

“huh?” hanni questions, her heart dropping to her ass. she didn’t think you would acknowledge it.

“it’s okay hanni!” you retort quickly, noticing the change in the girls demeanor.

“next time just wait until i actually make the shot.” you tease her, making hanni groan.

“it was really an accident i’m so so so so so so so sorry.” hanni mumbles just loud enough for you to hear.

“it’s fine hanni, your photos are actually really good. i use them on insta all the time.” you reassure the girl, taking her hand in yours making her unbelievably nervous.

“you do?” hanni says dumbfoundedly. (she actually knew that, she loved scrolling through your instagram, but you didn’t need to know that.)

“yeah, i mean you manage a whole section of the newspaper yourself for a reason. you always manage to catch my good side, it’s actually kind of scary.” you say, making hanni smile nervously.

“i just pay close attention you know, i love basketball!” hanni lies through her teeth, she didn’t know shit about basketball she just liked watching you play.

“oh really? who’s your favorite player?” you ask.

“um… lebron james?” hanni admits quietly, looking away in embarrassment at the way you burst out into laughter at her response.

“wow, you seem very well versed on basketball ms pham.” you say, still giggling at how unsure she sounded giving her response.

“i just— oh shut up.” hanni deadpans, noticing that you were now teasing her on purpose.

silence filled the room once again, causing you to lock eyes with hanni. you finally got to see her in all her glory, your eyes slowly scanning her face until they stopped at her lips.

she looked so kissable in that moment to you, the thought of her making you smile. what hanni didn’t know is that you were actually obsessed with her too, you’re teammates hated you for it always calling her the pretty girl in the stands.

you looked back up to see hanni staring at your lips too, making you ask a question on impulse.

“can i kiss you?”

another beat of silence, making you nervous.

“please.”

you wrap your arms around hanni’s neck, crashing your lips onto hers as she held your waist. you knew kai would be back soon but you didn’t care, you had been waiting forever for this.

the two of you only pulled away for air, addicted to the feeling of your lips on each others. though every good thing comes to an end, the two of you jumping at the sound of the door opening.

kai stood there dumbfounded, “you know what, i’m not even gonna ask.”

“um, y/n you’re free to go! after you’re done with whatever..” kai says, smiling awkwardly.

he quickly closed the door making you laugh, hanni hiding in the crook of your neck.

“never again.” she mutters into your neck.

“you sure?”

“shut up."

#ren reads #OH TAYLOR SONG TO HANNI FIC #WE ARE SO ALIVE #WE ARE SO BACK #AND THATS ON MODANISGF BEST WRITER??#WE LOVE U KI

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sserajeans · 9 months ago

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nmixx brat!lily x haewon smut?

i dont do that shit 💀

#re(n)plies

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sserajeans · 9 months ago

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HELPME$;&/&;&/&;&&/ IM SO SORRY 😭😭😭😭😭

roster | mikha lim.

part one of three.

summary ; excitement was something she was missing and you provided it for her. she thinks you're clueless, but she doesn't know that every move she's made has already been played by you.

pairing ; mikha lim x fem!reader

content ; mikha goes to admu, reader goes to up, mikha volleyball player, BABAERO CONYO MIKHA!!!, hookup culture, half smau...., suggestive, read to see ^-^ !!! taglish w eng translations!

genre ; fluff, angst

wc ; 3.8k

playlist here !!

a/n ; thank u @heybeautifulstranger for helping me translate hehe labyu

mikha loved volleyball. without it, she was nothing. at least, that's what she believes.

she put all her time and effort into the sport, disregarding everything else to improve herself. she was already the star player; every young person in the country was familiar with the name ‘mikha lim’. although the girl was incredible at her sport – that wasn’t the reason why she was so well known.

mikha was attractive. she knew that and apparently everyone in the country did, too. people came to her games to watch her play, but not watch her play. mikha wished people focused more on her performance as an athlete, but she wouldn’t lie and say she didn’t like the attention. support was still support.

“huy, friday night na at nagpapractice ka pa? late na, mikhs. umuwi ka na. (it’s friday night and you’re still practicing? it’s late, mikhs. you should go home.)” her coach advised, putting equipment away. mikha laughed, gripping the ball she held. “not yet, coach. may energy pa ako. (i still have energy.)”

“baka namimiss ka na ng jowa mo. (your girlfriend might miss you already.)” she teased, earning another laugh from the star player. “i don’t have time for a relationship po.”

“oo nga, baka magalit ang mga fangirls and boys mo. (that's right, your fangirls and fanboys might get mad)” she joked, mikha rolling her eyes playfully. she threw the ball over to her coach, deciding to pack up for the night. “i can’t have a jowa when i’m supposed to be the nation’s girlfriend!” she grabbed her bag and water bottle, turning to her coach who was clearly amused by her answer. “i’ll go home na po, night, coach! see you next week.”

“bye, mikhs.”

she gets into her car, checking her phone for the first time in hours. dozens of notifications flooded her phone as soon as she changed her focus from do not disturb. ranging from message requests sent by ambitious and confident (delusional) fans to thirsty comments on her posts to getting tagged on edits, and so much more.

she ignored all of them and immediately checked her messages.

when she said she had no time for relationships, she meant it. but that didn’t mean no time for some fun. she drove home to freshen up and get ready to meet up with her friends.

the loud and busy atmosphere always amuses mikha. while some people enjoy quiet and intimate places, mikha enjoyed the club.

“lim! over here!” kyle, one of her friends, calls out. she made her way past the sea of dancing drunks and sat with her group. “get me a drink, kyle.” she said, making the group laugh. “wow, hello to you, too.” he sassed before getting up to get mikha’s go-to. “sinong target mo today, mikhs? (who's your target of the day, mikhs?)” evan asked with a smirk on his face. “kakarating ko lang, van. (i just got here, van.) let me drink first, then that question will be easy to answer.”

kyle shortly came back to the table with mikha’s drink, sliding it over to her excitedly. “thanks, kyle.” she dragged, taking a sip from the glass. “okay, you drank na. who’re you going after?” evan pushed, causing the group to laugh. “what if you just sit and relax, mikhs? it won’t hurt to go a night without sleeping with a random girl.” aiah suggested, foolishly, mikha thought. she scoffed, shaking her head. “ate aiah, where’s the fun in that? besides, i’m not in the mood to sleep with someone tonight.”

“then?”

“baka make out lang... (probably just make out...)”

and that’s exactly what she did.

as soon as she got a little tipsy, she moved to the dance floor and picked a girl up without even trying. she pushed the girl against the wall, her lips on hers and hands on her waist. mikha had no idea what her name was or where she came from. they made small talk before, but mikha didn’t bother listening. she knew where this was gonna lead and she didn’t want to waste time remembering details about someone she was never going to see again.

she pulled away from the girl, who’s eyes twinkled with excitement. “this was fun, thanks…?”

“jen! my name is jen! but it’s okay if you don’t remember! you wanna get out of here? we can get out of here!” she asked, eager to spend more time with mikha. she slowly let go of jen’s waist, squinting her eyes before shaking her head. “nah, i’m good. you have a good night, though.” and with that, she left the girl alone in the bathroom stunned and embarrassed.

she made her way back to her group’s table, all eyeing her with amusement in their eyes. “what?” she asked, grabbing a fry from the basket they were all sharing. “who was it?”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” she shrugs, grabbing another fry to try and end the conversation.

“maybe you should check your hair and makeup before you leave the bathroom, lim.” kyle teased, catching mikha off guard. “shit, is it bad?”

gwen laughed before passing her a wet wipe. “nakakatawa ka, mikhs. (you’re funny, mikhs)”

“i don’t even remember her name. it was like jane something..?”

“jen?! jen santos?! you made out with jen santos?!” evan yelped, letting out the biggest laugh. “what’s wrong..? she was pretty.”

“yeah, she’s pretty. but she’s like.. obsessed with you. i heard she’s been trying to catch you at one of these things so she’s gone to every club in the area.”

“are you being for real..? what if we’re talking about different jens?” mikha suggested. but evan was quick to whip his phone out and show her jen’s account. “is this her?”

“oh..”

evan let out another laugh, causing kyle to laugh with him. “she’s just gonna keep coming here now! we need to find another place!” they joked, earning an eye roll from her. “she’s probably not that bad, you’re just–”

“mikha!” a voice calls out, catching everyone’s attention. it was jen. she walked over to their table a little too excitedly, standing over mikha and placing her hand on her shoulder. “i think you should rethink your decision, malapit lang ang place ko! (my place is near!) we could dip right now.” she offered, trying to be seductive. “ah.. i’m good, jane.” mikha replied, removing her hand off of her shoulder. “it’s jen, pero okay lang! (but it’s okay!) you wanna sit with me? nakaupo lang ako doon. (i’m just sitting there)”

“i’m good.. i’m here with my friends. you have a good night, though.” she smiled politely, trying her best to send her away. “oh, okay! i’ll catch you mamaya (later)! i’ll get your number or something.”

mikha simply nodded as the girl walked away, extremely giddy from the interaction. “shit.. no wonder why it was so much easier.” they all laughed at her, echoes of various comments following. “this is why you should’ve listened to me and stayed still.” aiah joked, but meant it.

“next time, i won’t even look at a girl.” her friends snickered knowing that would never be possible.

you were a casual sports enjoyer, being in a sports enthusiastic school – you couldn’t escape it. everyone would go to all the games, basketball, volleyball. it was one of the few things that brought everyone together, but it never came above your academics.

it wasn’t like all you did was study, you liked to think you had a healthy school life balance, going out with your friends whenever they wanted to hang out, seeing some people here and there. you were able to maintain a good social life with good grades and that was more than some people could wish for.

and your unexpected ‘attention’ really did help you get through a lot. it all started when you helped your best friend, jay, out with his band, x:o’s set at a local event. they were starting to become popular, their songs being played across the country. they were heavily praised for their good music and well.. good looks.

x:o consisted of five members, jay, jake, stephen, ricky and evan. they were indeed a group of attractive young men and managed to put out really good music. after the gig, the group’s account dedicated a post thanking those who helped out and you managed to catch the eyes of a lot of fans.

after the post, your social media accounts started to gain traction, earning a few thousand followers in the time span of a week. you appreciated the attention, but with your focus on school, you were never really active on social media, only posting a few pictures and a few tweets here and there. the attention only grew from there as more and more people started to approach you, later sharing on social media how kind and down to earth you were or how pictures didn’t do you justice. jay teased you for it all the time, joking about how he should be your manager since he’s the reason why all of this started.

your entire friend group has never missed a gig of theirs, but people only ever pointed you out. you and jay started to gain attention as a pair, people getting suspicious by how close you were, eventually leading to them thinking that you were dating. both of you never made an effort to shut the rumours down as you simply didn’t care. (and it helped jay a little with the people who would flirt with him)

your group would laugh at the posts knowing that you looooved women. you were jealous of jay because of the girls that would approach him; some very attractive girls. ‘i should’ve joined a band’ you would joke whenever a girl would speak to him.

x:o landed a gig at the vault, a very popular club in the area. every weekend this place was crowded, which is why this gig is a big deal. jay was setting up with his band while the rest of you (except angelo) had started drinking. “thanks sa food, ate jho! (thanks for the food, jho!)” sheena shrieked, stuffing her face with the food jhoanna bought for her. “wala yun… dapat magpasalamat ka kay y/n kasi treat niya ‘to. (it’s nothing, you should actually be thanking y/n since this is her treat.)” she glared, causing you to laugh. “okay lang yun, jho! libre kita next time, bribe lang kasi ‘to. (that’s okay, jho! i’ll take care of it next time, this was only just a bribe.)”

“ang daming tao rito, mga walay batasan. (there are so many people here, people with no manners.)” colet commented, kissing her teeth and subtly glaring at everyone she saw. “yun oh, yung naka green, suntukin ko siya, beh– (that one, the one wearing green, i’m gonna punch her–)”

“nakarating pa lang natin, may suntukin ka agad? (we just arrived and you’ve already found someone to punch?)”

whilst your group started bickering about colet’s impulsive (and violent) thoughts, the nation’s girlfriend had arrived with her group of friends. “guys, we were just here last week.” mikha complained, getting dragged by kyle. “since when have you ever been against clubbing?” kyle asked, “besides, we’re here for evan. supportive friends tayo diba? (we’re supportive friends, right?) our little rockstar, performing at our favourite club. full circle moment na ‘to, guys. umiiyak na ako. (this is a full circle moment, guys. i'm crying now.) ” the girls rolled their eyes at his drama, hitting him with teasing comments about how lame he was.

your two groups were together more often than anyone realised. despite having friends in the same band; your friend groups never came in contact with each other. jay was familiar with evan’s friends and evan was familiar with jay’s friends, but their friends knowing each other wasn’t the case.

mikha slid over to the bar, smiling at the bartender as a non-verbal order. she was here all the time and was very familiar with all the staff. while waiting, she looked around to observe the crowd and her eyes landed on an unfamiliar face. she stared at you for a few seconds, growing more and more curious as she watched you from a distance. feeling someone’s gaze, you turned to the side and locked eyes with the particular redhead. the both of you held eye contact until a glass was placed in front of her. she turned away from you to thank him and immediately turned her head back to your direction, but to her disappointment; you were gone.

she brought her drink over to their booth, everyone curious about her expressions. “nangyare? (what happened?) you good?” gwen asked, concerned. “yeah, i just think i found my girl for the night.”

“ayan ka na naman. (here you go again.)” aiah sneered, shaking her head. “sino ba? (who is it?)”

“i don’t know yet eh, but i’ll find out.”

you got back to your group with snacks in hand, sitting down next to sheena. “nakita ko yung atenean na volleyball player (i saw that atenean volleyball player). the redhead.”

“ah, mikha lim? nandito siya? (she’s here?)” jhoanna asked. “is that her name?”

“yeah, kaibigan ata siya ni evan. bakit? (i think she’s friends with evan. why?)” gelo replied, throwing a peanut into his mouth.

you shrugged and took a sip of your drink, “wala lang (nothing), she’s pretty.”

“her fans call her the nation’s girlfriend,” gelo added, making sheena giggle. “seryoso! (i’m serious!) babaero yan. (she’s a player)”

“ang corny, (how corny)” she added. you rolled your eyes at her, although you did agree. but you did see why they called her that. you only needed one glance to see that she was attractive.

as time went by, more drinks were bought. kyle was already failing to stand up straight and the band had yet to start. both groups made their way to the front of the stage, cheering as the much anticipated band started preparing for their entrance. “the vault, let’s make some noise!” cheers erupted as the five members walked onto the stage, all their faces laced with excitement and determination. “are we ready to have some fun tonight?” jake beckoned with his bass guitar in his hand. the cheers grew louder, all of you grinning at jay as you saw the excitement on his face, “this is ‘looking for somebody (to love)’, hope you enjoy!”

the familiar guitar melody started playing, jay and stephen immediately getting into it. everyone in the crowd started dancing along as jay started singing the first verse. mikha coolly bopped her head to the music, trying her best to avoid contact with random strangers. you were on the other side of the stage as she caught your eye, her red hair made it easy for her to stick out in a crowd. you admired how elegant her small movements managed to be, smiling briefly as you watched her dance with her friends. coincidentally, she looked up and locked eyes with you once again. a small smirk crawled across her face, pleased with the fact that she had your attention in this crowd. you sent a small smile her way before turning away to dance with jhoanna. she couldn't tear her eyes off of you. she needed to have you.

a few songs after, the crowd seemed to quiet down. “should we slow it down a little? gusto niyo ba? (would you guys like that?)” jay asked, playing with his earpiece.

“this is fallingforyou.”

What time you coming out?

We started losing light

mikha turned to find you, seeing you leaning on colet. you felt her gaze on you, tilting your head as your eyes met once again. she was amused, but she didn’t know why. there was something about you that was so alluring. she moved to face the band before turning back to look at you, but you were gone. again.

“uh, guys, i’ll be back.” she said, eyes searching through the crowd to find you. “yeah, yeah. have fun, mikhs.” they replied, knowing what she was leaving to do.

she pushed past dozens of people on the dance floor, relentlessly trying to find you. after getting past what felt like hundreds of people, she finally found you standing against a wall near the side exit with your arms crossed.

“eager, are we?” you asked as she walked towards you. “no.. not really. i mean, you must be though, right? leaving the crowd to wait for me here?” she grinned, standing over you. “who says i’m waiting for you?”

“your eyes are telling me everything i need to know.” she mumbled, hand travelling to your waist. “everything? really?”

And on this night and in this light

“am i wrong? do you have something else to say to me?”

you hummed, pretending to think, letting her pull you closer towards her. “bilisan mo na. (hurry up.) i’ve been thinking about you for almost an hour now. my patience is running out.” she complained, ducking her head into your hair, taking in the scent of your shampoo. your breath hitched as her face moved closer to yours, “can i?”

you replied by grabbing her neck and placing your lips eagerly onto hers. mikha let out a breath of content, pleased with the contact you two were finally making. she gripped onto your waist, soothing you with caresses every now and then.

I think I’m falling, I’m falling for you

your lips moved against each other with vigour, pouring out all of the lust and need you managed to have for each other in a short period of time. for the first time in forever, mikha was excited. she loved the feeling of your lips against hers, the faint scent of your shampoo, how you felt in her hands. she didn’t want to stop kissing you.

you pulled away briefly, placing your head on her shoulder, trying to catch your breath. “you.. i...” she began, unable to form words. you laughed and patted her cheek, not bothering to speak as you knew you’d go through the same struggle. “you wanna get out of here?” she managed, looking down at you with lidded eyes. “i’d love to, but i’m here with my friends.” you answered, the taller girl clearly not pleased with your answer. “please,” she whined, wrapping her arms around your waist to bring you into a hug. “i don’t even know your name, i can’t leave with you.” you laughed, hugging her back regardless. “my name’s mikha, can we go now?”

you laughed once again against her shoulder, shaking your head. “well, mikha. i still can’t leave with you.”

“thank you all so much! we’re x:o, we hope to perform for you guys again soon! mag ingat kayong lahat! (take care everyone)” you heard from the speakers, causing you to fix your posture. you slowly let go of mikha, getting an annoyed groan out of her. “i have to go, it was nice meeting you, though! mag ingat ka, ha? (take care of yourself, okay?)”

“wait, what?”

“i’ll see you, mikha.” you smiled, locking lips with her once more before you ran into the crowd to find your friends.

“wait! i don’t even know your name!”

mikha groaned, throwing her head into her hands. who cares if you were with your friends? she could take care of you (in more ways than one). she stayed there for a few minutes, trying to fight off the warm feeling you left her with. she made her way back to her friends shortly after, evan finally joining them. “mikhs! i was wondering if you were gonna come back. you okay?” aiah asked as she sat down next to her. mikha defeatedly dropped her head onto aiah’s shoulder and sighed, “yeah..” was all she let out.

she felt frustrated, you brought her so much excitement and even if she wanted to do it again (which she did); she wouldn’t be able to. this was the first time she wished she made some sort of small talk before, because other than the taste of your lips and the scent of your shampoo – she knew nothing about you.

you rushed back to your friends, blindly trying to fix your appearance before reaching them. you saw colet waiting besides the door that led backstage. “well, well, well.” colet began, “nakakatawa ka talaga, beh. (you’re really funny.)” she laughed before dragging you inside. “look who i found. bumalik siya, guys. (she came back, guys.)” you rolled your eyes at her before hugging jay, “good job, jayboy! you did great tonight.”

“eh, pano mo malalaman? nawala ka bigla. (how would you know? you just disappeared.)” sheena joked, sticking her tongue out at you. “i heard the entire set! ano ka ba? (what are you saying) i was just doing something.” "right.. right.. you should fix your makeup, y/n. that something didn't really hold back."

“what?!” you asked, grabbing the mirror jhoanna was holding out for you and immediately turned around in embarrassment. you quickly tried rubbing the lipstick marks off your face as your friends laughed at you.

“whatever, guys. basta (anyway), good job, jay.”

he laughed but was thankful for the support. "it's okay, y/n. it's a club! i encourage this behaviour, in fact - i endorse it." you rolled your eyes at him as he slung his arm around your shoulders. "let's go na? back to mine? we can get food and drinks on the way." he suggested, wanting a more intimate celebration. "paano ang mga bandmates mo? celebration niyo? (how about your bandmates? your celebration?)" angelo asked. "we had our little moment na after the show. bukas yung celebration namin. okay lang. ready na ba tayo? (we'll have our celebration tomorrow. it's okay. are we ready?)" you all agreed and hurriedly made your way out of the venue.

mikha spent the rest of the night trying to find you, not knowing you left from the back exit.

“god, mikhs. who the hell did you hook up with? you’ve been so out of it since you came back.” kyle commented, evidently noticing her friend’s odd behaviour. “i wish i knew, i literally don’t know what her name is. i feel like an idiot, i begged her, for fuck’s sake. i don’t beg.” she complained, taking another sip of her drinking, causing aiah to take it away. “okay, that’s enough for tonight. lasing ka na, uminom ka na ng tubig. (you’re already drunk, you should drink water now.)” mikha groaned at her but listened anyway.

“can you describe her?”

“ganda. pretty. cute. ganda. hot. pretty. gwapa. i don’t know,” she slurred, slamming her head down on the table dramatically. “whatever, i don’t even care.” she continued.

mikha got over you the next day, but slowly, a week went by and you still occasionally managed to cross her mind. she still wondered about who you were and unfortunately still wanted to see you again, but there were plenty of fish in the sea and you know, it wasn’t that serious.

– hope u enjoy..... @yumtooki :3

#renblogs #MY BAD.. 😅#JUST GOT EXCITED HEHE

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sserajeans · 9 months ago

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HOY