ssereen - Tumblr blog

[ssereen]

You've been gone for too long. Too long for me to remember who I was and who you were. Maybe that is what life does to you, you become someone only to change into something else.

[ssereen]

[ssereen]

Prophets will be scared on the Day of Judgement but why are you and I so arrogant?

[ssereen]

Oh darling, how did we ever end up here? You were the moon and I was your moonbow. How did we end up being the dying stars of our universe?

[ssereen]

بكيت كثيرا ولكن لم يسمع أحد إلا الله. لقد تحطمت مرارًا وتكرارًا ولكن لم يأت أحد ليمسك بي إلا الله.

I've cried my eyes out, but no one heard, except Allah. I've been shattered over and over again but no one held me, expect Allah.

Zaar zaar roya hoon, suna koi nai, siwaye mere rabb k

Baar baar bikhra hoon,thaama koi nai, siwaye mere rabb k.

[ssereen]

Everything felt oddly sane so I closed my eyes. Implored myself to feel what went beyond feelings. Where I didn't need to feel, see, hear my peace. Something beyond feelings...something beyond feelings. I opened my teary eyes only to see the lazy afternoon sunset bursting its every spec of light particle into every ordinary thing. The trees shimmered and glimmered like they were replanted back when everything felt right for them, back when the cool misty zephyr set their stress levels down. The clouds were painted swiftly with gushes of orange and red making them blush just by feeling the warmth of the sun. Maybe I knew. I knew then and there, I was already beyond my feelings. I was beyond feelings. I was more than feelings. I was.

[ssereen]

Questions

In the midst of the chaos she set up in me, one question always came about.

"Why?"

She knew how vicious the turn of events would be. She knew the damage her actions would inflict. We always thought we were a strong driving force that could withstand something as strong as the volcanic eruptions of betrayal. But little did we ever know that our friendship wasn't as close as the moon and earth. If she was the Sun, I was pluto.

And now, as days pass by, she goes on to live the life she finds comfort in and when it strikes midnight I begin my court sessions of Why? How? When? Where?

In the midst of the chaos she set up in me, I realize that she was dancing to a different tune while I played mine blindly without the thought of realizing how many knives were made at home on my back.

Such a cruel game we play in this cruel cruel world.

[ssereen]

Allah will answer your prayers. And when He does, He will answer them in ways you could never even imagine. He will blow you away with the perfection of His plans and will leave you utterly speechless in the way He allows things to fall perfectly into place.

[ssereen]

Albert camus / Franz Kafka

[ssereen]

Close your eyes and trust Allah. Wallahi sounds simple but that “simple” thing can bring about the most wonderous blessings. It’s not easy to rely your complete trust in Allah, but when you do, everything, every little thing will start to fall into its place and the sabr for your du’as will inevitably become so strong. Just feeling all this makes my heart at ease. I can’t stop smiling because of it. 

[ssereen]

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T_T IT’S PAINNNN!!!

u know when someone stops talking to you & u finally accept that y'all not speaking anymore and then they talk to u and ur like ??????? ???

[ssereen]

It is because of the One who created me with delicacy that I find hope and peace in the smallest of things and strength in the toughest of trials. Maybe that is all we will ever need.

Hope, peace and strength.

[ssereen]

Please keep me in your prayers, especially during these most holy nights.

[ssereen]

Secret Smiles

It’s impeccably wholesome. The moment you catch yourself bring up a soft smile on your sweet face when you think about that one moment you won your first 1st prize in a contest so insignificant.  Or the time when you brought home a trophy you didn’t know you’d get. Or the smile on your parent’s face when they completed each other’s sentences. Or the time you witnessed your mother look at you with crystal tears in her precious eyes as she smiles away the proudness she felt when she held your face and slowly whispered how surreal your voice felt when you spoke gently the word of Allah. Or the time when an embrace of a friend and the comfort for a moment made you the best version of yourself. Or the time how you’d make up the silliest dares over your friends. Or the time you’d, without any fear of stuttering over your words, would effortlessly order your favorite chicken pasta with that extra cheese.  Or the time you’d have winning streaks in every game you played. Or the time when you saw yourself with a bunch of friends who you knew would stick around for the longest times enough to make a whole new family.  Or the time when your frenzy friend would sneak in oranges during class. Or the time when you’d stay up late at night with your dearest friend playing games and dying with laughter. And finally that time when you finally realised that it was worth it. This whole life was worth it all the way to this moment. And that smile, oh that smile. A sight for sore eyes.

[ssereen]

A Sad Spilt Second.

I felt at home knowing at night when you closed your eyes to fall into the realm of exquisite unfinished moments, you think of me. Because I did. I did think of how it feels to have a whiff of jasmine and remember every significant memorizing detail of your ethereal face. I’d think of how your delicate crafted hands probably would’ve felt like warm bread freshly baked in the oven. I’d think of how your crystal clear eyes radiated warm peace. I’d think of how if I could ever steal a hug from you, I’d feel the warmth so common yet so rare. It would feel like mine. Perhaps, I think of it is as mine because I fall into a realm of exquisite unfinished moments, where what isn’t my reality, can be my dreams. That’s when I open my eyes and realise, I have once again, created a sad spilt second.