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i love him a normal amount (lie)

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"i wanna be happy, could you show me how it's done?"

jude to everyone he would ever know after he turned sixteen.

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Gay people will be like “this is my comfort show!” And then show you the most emotionally devastating, stress-inducing, tragic piece of media you have ever witnessed

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Thinking about the wildflowers that Willem and Jude planted in the fields around their house and how they’re probably still growing, year after year. They probably spread out over time, with no one to mow them or trim them back. They probably smother the house now, growing right up to the doorstep.

The happy years didn’t last long enough. But the flowers will continue to grow.

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The whole "everything is fake, but I like you and that is not fake" could honestly be the best way to express how genuine, honest and truthful the love you hold for someone really is.

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From: readers

To: Jude St Francis

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A little life is about Jude St Francis saying to the readers that he don’t wanna be saved and readers trying to save him till the last page until they leave a love goodbye letter to him and let him go

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Welcome back Jude St Francis

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Thinking about jb asking jude what’s happened to his legs and jude saying that it was an accident and then realizing what really happened and pretending that someone asking about it doesn’t hurts

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Thinking about JB and Jude lately…

JB, who was Jude’s first friend. JB, who carried Jude to the college hospital when he witnessed him having an episode in their dorm.

JB, who shouted and made a scene in that same hospital until a doctor finally saw Jude - and that doctor was Andy, the only physician Jude ever allowed to care for him for the rest of life.

JB, who helped Jude move into the apartment he shared with Willem on Lispenard St. JB, who brought along his friend Richard to help that day. Richard, who later sold Jude his beautiful apartment on Green Street that Jude loved so much. Richard, who secretly looked after him more than Jude ever imagined, who at one point saved his life, and at another point reminded him his birthday was worth celebrating, when Jude himself had forgotten and his world was bleak.

JB, who envied his life, his looks, his career, his relationship (even his limp!). JB, who saw him as competition, rather than someone to pity. JB, who thought he was beautiful, who thought killing something small and adorable was worth it if it meant looking like Jude.

JB, who brought him to parties, who showered him with laughter and provocations.

JB, who asked too many questions and wanted all the answers but got none of them. JB, who then asked Harold to back off from asking all the questions and wanting all the answers as well.

JB, who captured his life in galleries, on canvas, on film. The good and the bad.

JB, who’s art invaded and celebrated and decorated. JB, who’s art froze Willem in time for him.

JB, who was Jude’s last friend. JB, who Jude resented, who Jude hated, who Jude never forgave, who Jude wanted dead.

JB, who found him at last, who put away his suits, who handed out his letters.

JB, who outlived his friends, who was left alone, with his pictures, and his paintings, and his pain.

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I loved the last chapter from Harold’s point of view but sometimes I imagine it from Jude’s pov and I die inside

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a little life - VI. dear comrade; ch. 3. (p. 677-678) by hanya yanagihara

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"Limes," says Jude, looking up at him and shielding his eyes against the sun.

“Right, he says, and bends down, takes Jude's sunglasses off him, kisses him on his eyelids, and replaces his glasses. Summer, JB has always said, is Jude's season: his skin darkens and his hair lightens to almost the same shade, making his eyes turn an unnatural green, and Willem has to keep himself from touching him too much. "I'll be back in a little while."

A Little Life - Hanya Yanagihara

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Jude St Francis and Willem Ragnarsson invented “to be loved and to be in love”

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The fact that from everyone’s point of view, jude was loved and admired by friends or co-workers, instead from Jude’s point of view he was just a disgusting monster

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The fact that I painted young jude in my mind all the time even if he was an adult it’s because even if he grew up you can still see that kid searching for love and that’s my x=x

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Empty days without Jude St Francis