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Frank on My Chemical Romance's continuing legacy

via Rock Sound's IG

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The longest recorded snake ever recorded was a green snake only one centimeter wide at its thickest. Its body however was 43 feet long.

Seen here coiled loosely into a pile, the specimen, named “Warren Peace” by the herpetologists who take care of the specimen, was discovered under the bed one 6 year old Betty Keller of San Francisco, Georgia. Said her mother, “Betty told us there was a snake under the bed. We thought we’d take a look and then tell her it was her imagination but there was the little head sticking out. It looked harmless so I just pulled it out and it kept coming and coming like handkerchiefs from a clown’s mouth. Eventually we had to start winding it around my stripper pole which I use only for exercise and even then it was a huge ordeal.”

Warren now resides at the Frisco Zoo where he has his own aquarium 10X30ft in size, which the serpent often sprawls across completely. He eats goldfish, about 10 a day which, through the use of colored dyes, have been found to take almost 15 weeks to make it through the elongated digestive system.

Hundreds of tourists come from every state every day to visit the magnificent beast, but one little lady who won’t be visiting is his discoverer Betty Keller, who remains a resident at the nearby Laplish Home For The Seriously Freaked Out. “This girl may never recover,” said Doctor Mellman in violation of doctor patient confidentiality, “She freaks out every time they serve spaghetti at the cafeteria.”

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both fish and women love me

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This blog has been telling you not to trust pelicans for over a decade and this is why

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me: man my job sucks i want to play video games or somethin

the nefarious anglerfish:

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That's not how demographics work.

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btw the whole point of human rights is that they are not revokable and that you don’t need to earn them. some of y’all will shout slogans about “human rights” and then fantasize about brutally torturing people who have done a crime you deem worthy of “revoking their humanity” which means you don’t actually care about human rights. you just want the “bad actions” to be directed at the “right people.” which is a fundamentally authoritarian and dangerous opinion

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did you know you can maybe grow tits if you hit yourself hard enough and often enough

Over 70 percent of the German battalion's soldiers have been diagnosed with significant gynecomastia. Military officials have promised to keep an eye on the men's breasts.

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going to start researching sheep breeds that are like endangered or need conservation and then seek out their wool to use, preferably buying directly from the herders, so i can support them

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"Whats your favorite memory?" questions are such bullshit I literally don't remember that shit it just occasionally comes to me in divine flashes and leaves indefinitely

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