standardoddity - Tumblr blog

[standardoddity]

“How were LGBT people able to hijack the rainbow!?!”

Uhh, well Jake, we started using the rainbow to connote gayness and you immediately stopped using it because you were pants shittingly afraid of looking gay.

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double foxes <3

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TW: animal death / injury / death For grandma, who loved pigeons, and for grandpa, who did not but wanted her to be happy. Please hear me out <3 WEBTOON

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So let me get this straight, in Monopoly if you give one player more money to start out it’s “unfair” but if you do it in real life it’s “capitalism”? 

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They’re dating, your honor

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They’re dating, your honor

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Creepy girl

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By popular demand, here it is: all 3 sets of my emojis compiled into expression memes! feel free to draw your ocs/any character over these!

please credit me if you use and don’t remove the watermark!

All the individual sets of (transparent) emojis are found under the #emoji tag in my blog. merch for these will be released soon!

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New superhero: Crime Man.

He stops crimes exclusively by comitting crimes. He out-crimes the criminals.

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now it just needs to bring back porn

I love tumblr. I love that tumblr is the best social media site of 2021.

Every other site has spent the last decade perfecting the art of targeted ads. I am a wallet of flesh and blood which must be stripped bare and profiled and picked apart for the maximally efficient way to squeeze profit from my presence. Every other site will fold and morph itself to a shape of my liking - like a fairy tale trickster stealing memories and taking their mold - to lull me into compliance and loosen my coin purse.

Facebook sees me searching fitness equipment and injects my timeline with athletic wear ads. Reddit profiles the subreddits I follow and eagerly promotes a new coding bootcamp or cloud service at every turn. Google overhears me lamenting over my moving to-do list on voice call and fills in my “how much to tip movers” query before I’ve gotten the third word typed out.

Tumblr never even tried.

They could have. The information is there. The basic infrastructure, presumably, exists. Tumblr can recommend me tags based on tags I follow, blogs based on blogs I follow, even posts that for one reason or another may strike my fancy. Tumblr could be - SHOULD be - funneling this framework into advertising, as the only means that free-to-use social media platforms can turn a profit in our capitalistic hellscape.

They just don’t.

Today I saw an ad for treating Hyperhidrosis - a condition, I think, in which a person sweats too much - and I saw it twice, four posts apart, and it is so incredibly benignly impersonally ineptly untargeted toward me compared to all other pinpoint-aimed advertising that I’m endeared to it. Tumblr knows NOTHING about me. 8 years, 51,000 likes, and tumblr has not learned a THING about me.

Advertisements for a mattress? Shitty mobile game ads that don’t make even the slightest pretense at being anything other than a candy crush rip-off? Choose-your-own adventure games either about Royal Espionage or Choosing The Wrong Dress For Your Date with ZERO in-between.

And then this. This here. The culmination, the crown-jewel of tumblr’s nihilistic non-compliance with the state of social media advertising. Any pretense of capitalistic exchange is abandoned at the gas station by the side of the road. This is not a company. This is not a product. This is not anything that fulfills the contract of consumer and seller. 

THIS. THIS IS WHAT TUMBLR HAS TO OFFER INSTEAD.

“Pour vinegar on your bread, fuck you.”

“Put it in the garbage, fuck you.”

“Your wife says you’re a fucking dumbass, fuck you.”

That’s it. That’s the advertisement. You vinegar-breadless cuck. You virgin extraordinaire bereft of bread and garbage can. I am fucking your wife right now in our vinegar-soaked motel bed. She puffs a cigarette which I pulled from the trashcan and we both laugh heartily at her recounts of your immasculine ineptitude. I don’t want your money. I don’t want anything from you. Fuck you. 

Amazing. Amazing. What a state of things to ring in 2021. What a great platform we all collectively choose to be on.

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I love seeing various artists try to figure out how to rationalize Midna’s helmet as some sort of analogous modern hat equivalent when making modern AUs, because like. where the fuck do you even begin

there is no kind of hat that comes close

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i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

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Homestucks get your homestucks here !!

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Jesus, after coming back from the dead: hey guys it’s me Jesus, just look at the scars on my hands

Thomas, a known freak: show us the feet as well please

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every year without fail big game companies release multi million dollar games where every hair and skin follicle on a character is rendered and somebody makes a simple game about a goose or smthn that does 100x better than every other game that year and i love to see it every time

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but in the latter picture, there is no triangularity of love as each line isnt one based off of love. Sure, it’s a triangle in shape, and it might be semantics, but i would argue that in order for a ship to be considered a “Love Triangle”, each line would need to reflect the qualifier of ‘love’ in triangle.

love triangles can’t exist without at least 1 lgbt person. cishets just don’t know how shapes work

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My website – My Facebook page – See me on LINE Webtoon! Also, Beatrix Hart (the girl in the gif) has a Twitter!