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I’ve thought about making a post like this for a while, but I was honestly too afraid to do so. Okay, more like terrified because if certain people ever find it, I’m screwed. But here we go.

I’m Lavi. I’m 23, severely depressed and anxious, and probably have more than a few other mental illnesses by this point. I’m also transgender. I came out to my family 4 years ago, but they still haven’t accepted me. They misgender me constantly and refuse to change no matter how many times I ask them.

I have been “convinced” to take a college course that I have no interest in because it was what my mother wanted me to do. The first attempt resulted in me having a breakdown and admitting myself to the hospital because I knew if I waited any longer, I was going to kill myself.

Despite this, I was once again “convinced” to go back and finish the course. Which is where I am currently. However, it’s barely been a month and I’m back to the same point I was then. I do not want to do this course, and even just thinking about it makes my anxiety so bad I want to puke.

I have also been “convinced” to put off getting my license because it’s not “practical” for my mother.

And there’s nothing I can say to anybody at this point that will make them change their mind about me doing this. So my only option is to leave. I can’t stay here for much longer. I literally feel anxious and terrified every time I have to talk to either of my parents, and that’s no way to live.

And before you try to suggest other things, I want to give you a little more insight into how things have been/are for me.

My mother has hit me before, threatened to injure me more times than I can count, broken some of my things, guilt tripped and gaslighted me my whole life. My father is drunk 90% of the time he’s not working. He has passed out while cooking, holding a cigarette, with a glass in his hand. So many ways that could have ended with the apartment catching fire or me getting hurt.

The point is: I need help. I probably only have about $500 to my name-and that’s after scrounging up change left around the apartment for months-and no way of actually getting out of here.

I hate asking, but I’m truly desperate. Anything would help at all. Literally anything. Even if it’s less than $1, I’ll be eternally grateful. 

I set up a ko-fi page, if anyone is willing to help. If you’d like to use my direct paypal instead it’s: papalavibookman@gmail.com

I don’t really have much to offer, but I am more than willing to write drabbles for anybody who helps. All I ask is that you send me a message here, off anon, so we can talk about it.

Thank you so much.

TL;DR - I’m in a very abusive situation and need to leave as soon as possible, any help is much appreciated.

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PSA!

Hey guys!

I know I haven’t done anything here in quite a bit, but!

I’ve been very busy working with @sunscourge​!

We’re planning to do Nano this year, and have been working on planning out our novel(s) for it!

Many of the OC’s on both of our blogs are going to be in them, so we’ve been spending a lot of time discussing things involving them!

So as it stands right now, I won’t be rping here until December. I might try to crank out a couple replies before Nano starts, but it’s not guaranteed as we’ve spent the last couple days chatting over skype calls about everything, so it’d be hard to focus on planning and replies at the same time. I really want to focus all my energy on this project and get as much done as possible over the next month~ 

So I’ll see you all in a month! I look forward to rping with everyone when I’m back! <3

[starblistered-blog]

PSA!

Hey guys!

I know I haven’t done anything here in quite a bit, but!

I’ve been very busy working with @sunscourge​!

We’re planning to do Nano this year, and have been working on planning out our novel(s) for it!

Many of the OC’s on both of our blogs are going to be in them, so we’ve been spending a lot of time discussing things involving them!

So as it stands right now, I won’t be rping here until December. I might try to crank out a couple replies before Nano starts, but it’s not guaranteed as we’ve spent the last couple days chatting over skype calls about everything, so it’d be hard to focus on planning and replies at the same time. I really want to focus all my energy on this project and get as much done as possible over the next month~ 

So I’ll see you all in a month! I look forward to rping with everyone when I’m back! <3

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Isak and Even  ↴

body language dynamics

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Be happy, love

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danny phantom

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You look so pretty when you’re raw. You wanna hide everything but nothing is more attractive then when you open up and let me see your insides. Let me touch them delicately and kiss them softly. I love you for who you are.

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Read patches before you ask questions for the love of God

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Chapter 225 - Tyki Mikk | Joyd

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Drunkenness is temporary suicide.

Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness (via neutralnamed)