starbluud

[starbluud]

— NOTHING BUT ARTERIES AND DIRT (YOUR FLOWERS STILL GROW IN MY VEINS)

CHAPTER TWO. a healing touch (enough to kill me gently)

PAIRING. prince!beomgyu x farmer!f!reader

TW. cursing. hints at child abuse. mentions of animal death. slight blood and injury. idk what else. my mind is fried.

GENRE. fluff. angst. royalty!au. fantasy!au.

SUMMARY. choi beomgyu, the current prince and future king of blue hour grove, craves a change — something with substance. he yearns for something to break the monotony of his repetitive lifestyle, where he’s confined to the castle, preparing to rule for when his father steps down. all he’s ever known are books, proper etiquette, and unbearably dull balls and meetings. just a taste of something new — that’s all he asks.

so, when a chance finally arises to experience the bustling village beyond the tall white walls he’s grown to despise, he doesn’t hesitate to take it. now on the run and new to this unfamiliar world, a certain farmer piques his interest. as he breaks down this shield she has up, she begins to show him what it truly means to live. yet, with the royal family on the hunt for the missing heir, it’s only a matter of time before his dreams come crashing down.

MIXTAPE. soldier, poet, king, the oh hellos. welcome home, son, radical face. king and lionheart, of monsters and men. skinny love, bon iver. michigan, the milk carton kids. dear wormwood, the oh hellos. ghost towns, radical face. featherstone, the paper kites. wasteland, baby!, hoizer. the night we met, lord huron. white winter hymnal, fleet foxes.

NOTES. hello again! i hope you enjoyed the first part. i’m sorry at how slow i’m updating but i have school and such :( i also think this chapter was a bit shorter so whoops? anyway, let me know your thoughts on this <33 i hope you enjoy it bb!

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— BEOMGYU REALIZED HE’S never actually been in a house before. Not a proper one, at least, where there’s no such thing as confusing corridors and dozens upon dozens of rooms. Where there’s no polished marbled halls and lonely echoes. There were no floor length windows or bustling maids or guards. This small farmhouse was nothing like the castle he grew up in. Shiny tiles were replaced with creaky floorboards. The windows were much smaller and allowed passing winds to blow apart handmade lace curtains. There were only a few rooms: a living room, kitchen, bathroom, and two bedrooms. The size of the house itself was smaller than his personal library back at the palace.

But he liked it. He really liked it. It felt cozy and warm and lived in. It was evident through a small pile of dirty clothes, creased cushions, and messy sheets. To any other, it wasn’t seen as perfect, yet to Beomgyu, it very much was.

He glanced down at the mattress he sat on. His slim fingers grazed the loved quilt, digits picking curiously at its fraying threads.

The bedroom he was in was tiny and cute. There were a few small portraits nailed to the creme walls and an oil lamp flickered weakly by the nightstand. It provided a soft light, dousing the chambers in a golden hue.

The sound of the door opening made him jump. Y/N stepped in with a basin full of steaming water. She also had a cloth, leaves, bandages, and a half empty bottle of alcohol. Beomgyu’s brows furrowed at the items.

She sat the dish on the ground and crouched down next to it. She didn’t speak as she pulled up his pants leg, exposing the friction wound to the warm night air. She sighed before peering up at the man who was staring at her with wide, doe eyes.

“Alright, here’s the plan.” She started. “I’ll clean your wounds and then disinfect them with this.” She held up a jug of Valkrin—an alcoholic beverage known to be strong enough to knock a man off his feet. “That’ll be the worst worst part. Be warned, it’s gonna hurt like a bitch.” Beomgyu frowned at her words. “Then, I’ll dress it.”

Beomgyu glanced at the leaves. “What’s the purpose of those?” He asked.

“They’re Pureglo leaves. They’re used to soothe burns and stings. It should help.” Y/N explained, dipping the rag into the hot water before ringing it out. With gentle hands, she began to wipe at the raw skin.

Beomgyu hissed at the contact but remained still. “How so?” He pondered.

“Just the natural compounds in them. They’re used in medicine to reduce inflammation.” She spoke. “Kai’s dad puts it on almost every person who comes in with some type of burn.”

The man hummed in acknowledgment. “How do you know so much about its properties?”

Y/N shrugged and turned his ankle around the clean the backside of it. “I liked the woods when I was a kid. I’d be outside most of the time while my parents worked around the farm. I’d get hurt quite often. Mostly from Biting Thorns. My mother pretty much used this trick daily.” She peeked up at him with a quirked brow. “I thought you’d know of it. Especially since you’re a traveler.”

Beomgyu felt his stomach churn. He let out an awkward cough. “O-Of course, I’ve heard of it. I just never really had such injuries to warrant the use of Pureglo leaves. I was just curious as to how you know about it.” He half-lied. It was partly true. It interested him in how she became so familiar with herbal medicines.

Y/N looked at him with a narrowed gaze before letting it go. “As I said, I liked playing in the woods.” She tossed the cloth back into the water. She reached over and grabbed the pillow from the head of the bed and offered it to him. “You’ll wanna hold onto something.”

Beomgyu took it cautiously and held it close. He watched Y/N open the alcohol bottle and hover it over his leg. “Ready?” She asked. He hesitantly nodded.

The second the Valkrin hit his wound, it felt like his foot caught fire. It burned like all seven layers of hell, aching as if his skin was melting right off the bone. It festered—throbbing so violently, he could physically feel his heartbeat in the irritated abrasion.

The way Y/N described it to be was nothing compared to how it actually felt.

He yelped and jerked away, nearly kicking Y/N in the face while doing so.

“Damn!” He hissed, tears of pain pricking the corners of his eyes. He could feel himself start to tremble.

Y/N reached forward to grab his ankle once more, being wary of his raw flesh, and forced it still. “I know it hurts, but you flailing around isn’t gonna do anything except give me a black eye.” She scowled. Beomgyu whined and dug his nails into the pillow.

Y/N sighed. “Pain shows that it’s working. The Valkrin will turn it numb after a while. That should give you some type of relief.”

“Have you gone through this before?” Beomgyu winced, attempting to distract himself.

Y/N nodded. “Several times. Max struck me in the shoulder with an arrow once years ago. I was trying to teach him how to hunt but he misfired. Not only did I have to disinfect it, but I also had to rip the arrow out before doing so.” She recalled, prepping the Pureglo leaves. “That wasn’t very fun.”

“I haven’t experienced any sort of injury like this before. This is new for me.” Beomgyu admitted.

Y/N hummed softly. “Well, you mustn’t have been a traveler for long, then. You get hurt all sorts of ways.”

“A-Ah,” Beomgyu gave her a nervous smile, replacing the uncomfortable snarl he had on before. “Yes, you’re correct. I-I only recently started to explore. I’m still trying to get used to the culture of it.”

Y/N let out a laugh. “Makes sense why you couldn’t tell the difference between east and west.” She began placing the cool leaves to his wound.

Beomgyu flinched every so often. He kept his eyes on her as she worked. Her fingers were calculated and moved quickly, dressing his foot with a white bandage to keep everything in place.

“So,” she sighed, “where’re you from?” She questioned, now reaching for the cut on his hand. Dried blood crusted along the folds of his palm. A small trail fell down his arm, staining the sleeve of his white shirt. She grabbed the cloth again and wiped away the crimson stuck to his skin.

Goosebumps littered his flesh, rising from the ghost of her gentle touch. He chose to ignore them. “Spring Valley.” He spat out the first thing that came to mind.

Y/N looked at him with surprise written in her pupils. “Damn, you’re pretty far from home, aren’t you?”

Beomgyu let out an awkward chuckle. “I suppose I am.”

The woman let out a breath. It sounded more like a mix of a scoff and laugh. “Explains why you talk like you do. Is that the way everyone from there speaks?” She asked

Beomgyu’s lips pulled thin. Gods, he really, really does sound strange, doesn’t he? He must since this is the second time in the past hour it’s been commented on. He never noticed as he’s never had a conversation with an outsider before. So, to hear how Y/N and Max talk—casually and informal—it really brings the obvious difference to light. “Not particularly. My parents raised me with such vocabulary. Everyone else there has the same dialect as you.” He replied.

“Your parents?” She repeated. “Damn, how posh are they? Are they royal snobs or something?” She snickered. The male tensed at her words.

“No! No, no, absolutely not, haha. Not royalty. Not at all.” He rushed to say. Y/N jumped at his sudden outburst. She blinked at him.

“Um, okay,” she muttered. “I was just making a joke. No need to get your knickers in a twist.” She dropped the slightly soiled rag. She dabbed some alcohol to his cut, making him grit his teeth tightly. She used the remaining bandage to wrap his sweaty palm.

“O-Of course. That was, uh… rather humorous.” He forced another chuckle. He flexed his hand, feeling his body heat up with embarrassment.

Y/N turned a blind eye at his strange behavior, chalking it up to be his awkward personality. She stood and placed her hands on her hips. She gestured to the bed. “You can take this room for now. It’s mine, but I can sleep on the couch.”

Beomgyu frowned and shook his head. “It’s okay. I can take the sofa. I don’t mind. This house belongs to you. It would be unfair of me to take your space.” He said, tossing away the pillow, and went to stand. Instead, he winced harshly and fell back down on the mattress.

Y/N rolled her eyes. “You’re in no shape to do so.” She scolded. “I’d feel much better with you in here anyway. If you decide to be stupid and try something, I’m outside Max’s room to keep him safe.”

“I do wish you’d understand I don’t plan to harm you. To think of such things makes me ill.” He spoke softly and started to pick at his cuticles subconsciously.

Y/N let out a breath. “I don’t think you’ll do anything, and even if you did, you wouldn’t make it through the door. But you’re a stranger in my house. I will put you where I please.” She spoke, tone dripping with authority. “My main concern is to keep my brother safe and that’s what I plan to do. So, as long as you want to keep your head, think before you act.” She warned.

“Of course.” Beomgyu obliged.

Y/N gave him a crooked smirk. “Good. You don’t have to worry then.” She gathered all the supplies she brought in and headed towards the living room. However, she tossed a glance back. “Sleep well.”

“You t—“ She was gone before he could even speak.

Molars dug into his cheek again. He peered at his foot and then his hand. She was right about the alcohol making his burn go numb and the Pureglo leaves felt nice against his inflamed skin.

The moon peeked in through the curtains and illuminated his surroundings. A soft breeze passed by, slightly blowing apart the drapes. He looked up at the planet and gave it a small smile. Though this is not how he thought his first day outside of the castle would go, today held more excitement than the past 19 years of his life ever did.

With a content sigh, he laid down and closed his eyes. The distant ruffle of wind through trees lulled him into a dreamless slumber.

That was the first time he slept peacefully.

The morning sun felt warm against Beomgyu’s face. A call of a Robin joined in on the sound of buzzing farm animals, making the prince rise sleepily. Hair wild and vision blurry, he rubbed his eyes and blinked, peering out at the blue sky. White clouds floated by overhead.

It must’ve been around 11 a.m., much later than when he usually wakes up.

The bedroom door swung open suddenly, making Beomgyu jump. Max stepped in, still dressed in his pajamas, and a mug in hand.

“Hey,” he greeted awkwardly.

“Hello,” Beomgyu responded. Max walked over to him and offered the cup. He took it carefully, inspecting the caramel-colored drink. It was warm against his palms and the scent of something sweet flooded his nose.

“Y/N made some Honeysilk tea earlier. She told me to give you some when you wake up.” Max stated, watching as Beomgyu took a timid sip from it.

He blinked in surprise. It was soothing with an unexpected floral hint, blending well with a smooth, sugary aftertaste. “It’s quite nice.” He commented.

“She makes it with Honeysilk syrup and Heartroot leaves. Says it’s supposed to support your immune system and something with antibodies. She makes it for me every day.” Max explained, bare feet kicking awkwardly at the rug.

Beomgyu sat the drink on the nightstand. “Where is she?” He asked.

“Outside. I think she’s feeding to the animals.” The boy answered. He nodded towards the windows. “You can see her from here.”

Beomgyu glanced out. Max was right. He could see her. He stared at her for a quick moment, watching as she filled up a dog bowl. A large, white Great Pyrenees stood next to her with a happy tail and a drooling smile—its cute face contrasting greatly with the metal spikes protruding from its neck. A few other creatures surrounded her, circling her feet as they waited for their own fix of hay and grain.

He turned back to the child. Max peered at Beomgyu’s bandages with a tilted head. “She cleaned you up.”

“She did.”

“Sounded like it hurt. I could hear you from the other room.”

Beomgyu chuckled and nodded. “Yes, very much so.” He responded. “Are you not going to help your sister?”

Max shook his head. “No, she doesn’t let me help with the livestock anymore. I let them loose one time and it took us all day to round them up again. I haven’t done it since.” He recalled. “She was really angry about that.”

The small smile on Beomgyu’s face grew slightly. “I believe I would be as well.”

Max lifted his hands. “Hey, it’s not like I meant to! It was an accident!” He huffed and crossed his arms. Beomgyu let out a light laugh at his reaction.

Max relaxed, his glare softening. “Did you have a farm back home?” He inquired.

“I did.” Beomgyu said. “I wasn’t around it much.”

“Ah,” Max hummed. “Why? Too gross for you?”

Beomgyu’s lips pulled thin. A familiar voice echoed in his head.

“How many times must I repeat myself, Beomgyu?” His mother scowled, pulling him away from the sheep pin. Her grip on his arm was tight, sharp nails digging into his skin.

Beomgyu peered back at the brown lamb. It watched him leave, bellowing sadly as its human friend got dragged away.

“I was only looking, Mother.” Beomgyu spoke, tone soft. She pulled him into the castle’s foyer before letting go. His hand came up to cradle the crescent shaped indents pressed into his forearm.

“Those creatures are dirty. I’ve told you time and time again to stay away from them.” She hissed. “Only low lives correlate themselves with such filth.”

Beomgyu frowned. His young and chubby face yet to shed its baby fat twisted with embarrassment. “But, Mother—“

“If I catch you disobeying me once more, I will force you to watch the butcher slaughter them.” She threatened, eyes dark with anger. “Perhaps then you will realize how disgusting those animals are.”

He gave her a melancholic nod. “Yes, Mother.”

“Good, now get back to your room.”

He forced away the memory and gave Max a forced smile. “Something like that.”

“Mm, well, it’s not so bad. Y/N keeps everything pretty clean.” Max looked out at his sister who finished laying out feed. “Maybe you can look around it when you get better. Meet Macy and stuff.”

Beomgyu thought silently. This wasn’t the castle. His mother wasn’t here to berate him for his curiosity and he highly doubts that Y/N or Max would do so as well. So, he gave the boy a nod. “That sounds nice.”

The front screen door opened and slammed shut. Y/N walked through the house and stopped when she saw the two boys. She looked at Beomgyu. “I see you’re finally up. Must’ve slept really well.” She spoke, pushing her hair back from her face.

“I did.” He answered, eyes scanning her. A thin sheen of sweat covered her forehead and her hands were dusted with dirt. She was wearing different clothes than yesterday: a dark green button down, brown pants, and boots.

He noted how different her attire was compared to those back at the palace. Women would usually wear impracticality large gowns with sickly stiff corsets and faces beaten with powder and red lips. Hell, watching them breathe seemed painful.

Yet, Y/N’s wardrobe looked practical, loose, and easy. She was able to move without a struggle and didn’t worry about soiling it unlike those back home who seemed to panic at a faint stain on the lace skirt of their inordinate frocks. Beomgyu wished more heirs would be allowed to dress much like Y/N’s wardrobe.

“That’s nice.” She sighed. “I’m about to start cooking supper. What do you two have in mind?”

“I want some rabbit stew. You haven’t fixed that in a while and I’ve been craving it.” Max spoke up.

Y/N peered over at Beomgyu. “What about you? Is that good?” She asked.

His lashes fluttered slightly. Rabbit stew. He’s never heard of such a dish. But he shouldn’t be picky, so he gave her a grateful smile. “Yes.”

Y/N clicked her tongue. “Alright.” She said and turned to leave. She paused before turning back to the man. “You know you don’t have to stay in here. If you feel like it, you can walk around. Just be careful while doing so.”

He couldn’t respond in time as she finally left, heading towards the kitchen.

Chop, chop, chop, chop.

Beomgyu sat at the dining table, fixated on Y/N as she diced some fresh carrots from the garden. He watched her quietly, silently eyeing her swift movements. It appeared she noticed his gaze.

“Did you just come in here to stare at me?” She asked, dumping the cut vegetables into a pot of broth, joining seasoned meat. She gave him a side glance. She felt slightly uncomfortable.

Beomgyu was pulled from his thoughts with a blink. He felt his cheeks flush slightly and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I was somewhere else.”

“I noticed.” Y/N said, stirring the food. “How’s your ankle feeling?”

Beomgyu flexed his foot around and winced. “It’s still rather sore. Your brother had aided me with walking in here.” He answered.

Y/N nodded. “It’ll feel better soon. Just keep off it for a few days. You should be good to leave then.” She stated, peering over at him. “So where’re you headed next?”

“Oh, um,” he muttered. “I’m not sure. I haven’t given it much thought.”

The woman hummed in acknowledgment, tossing in a few herbs. “Fair enough. What’re doing here at Blue Hour Grove then? You just passing through?”

“Not particularly. I wanted to visit this village for quite some time now. I just recently got the chance to.” He answered.

“Ah, yeah. You got your directions mixed up. You missed town, didn’t you?”

Beomgyu huffed and nodded. “I did. I was unlucky and got hurt. I’ll have to wait a bit longer to see it now.”

“It’ll only be for a little while, Beomgyu.” She reassured, his name falling effortlessly from her tongue. It was a bit strange to hear it coming from someone who wasn’t his family. Everyone else was required to call him ‘Your Majesty’ or ‘Your Highness.’ He never liked it. It sounded bitter to his ears and made guilt pool in his stomach.

But hearing his name, his actual name be spoken, it was much better than any of those damned titles. He wanted to put a wall up between who he is and who he was, especially if it meant he can finally take over his own life. To him, ‘Prince Beomgyu’ was no more.

He gave her a small smile, unbeknownst to him. “That’s true. I’m excited to see what the world has to offer.”

“I’ve always wondered what it looked like.” She admitted, stepping away from the stove to let the stew simmer. She leaned against the counter with crossed arms.

“Why don’t you leave?” He asked.

Y/N shrugged. “I’ve got my life here. My farm, my friends, and Max. I don’t think I could up and leave without feeling bad.” She replied. “Maybe in the future, you know? When Max could care for himself, but it wouldn’t be anytime soon.”

A pause went by. Beomgyu soaked in her words. I’ve got my life here… I don’t think I could up and leave without feeling bad—it echoed in his brain. It was strange because he didn’t feel such a way. He felt no guilt, no sadness, no shame. In fact, he felt the best he’s had in a long while and he knew the reason why.

He didn’t have anything worth holding onto.

“What about you?” Y/N questioned. “How did you feel when you left?”

He swallowed. “Happy.” He answered. “I felt as if I could breathe.”

“You didn’t feel bad?”

He shook his head. “No.”

The air suddenly felt heavy. Y/N was quick to notice it and decided to switch the topic, not wanting to suffocate under the tension. “Well, in my opinion, you should visit Never Frost. I hear it’s nice, especially in the winter.”

“Never Frost?” Beomgyu repeated. “I haven’t heard of it.”

Y/N grinned. “I haven’t been myself, but my friend Taehyun is originally from there. Him and his mom go back every Winterfest to visit family. He talks about the winter ceremonies they have and the Starbloom fields and the food. He makes it sound so interesting.”

Beomgyu listened intently, watching the excitement bleed openly on Y/N’s features. He matched her expression, lips pulling up at the wonder in her tone.

“It seems to be beautiful. I’ll make sure to do so.” He stated.

“Bring me back some Iceberries. They’re only grown there and I hear they taste great in tea. It’s supposed to be good for the heart. Maybe a Starbloom, too.”

“Of course.” Beomgyu agreed.

“Good. I’ll hold you to it.” She said before turning to the soup. “I think it’s done.” She took the pot off the fire.

It was only a few minutes until Beomgyu found himself with a wooden bowl in front of him. Y/N and Max sat at the table as well, eating their own dishes.

The stew smelled rich, thyme and stock wafting out the kitchen windows. It had bits of meat, carrots, celery, mushrooms, potatoes, and leeks, swimming in a hot vegetable broth. A few slices of fresh bread laid beside it.

He stared at it.

“What’re you waiting for?” Max pondered, mouth stuffed.

Y/N grimaced at the sight. “Don’t speak with your mouth open. It’s gross.”

Max rolled his eyes, but obliged.

Y/N turned to Beomgyu. “Are you not hungry?” She asked.

“No, I am.” He responded. “I’ve just never had rabbit stew before.”

“It’s really good. Try it.” Max stated, taking another bite. “Y/N’s surprisingly really good at cooking. You’re probably scared about getting food poisoning or something but you shouldn’t have to worry about it.”

Y/N glared at her brother, lip curling in a slight snarl. “Ignore him.” She said to Beomgyu. “If you don’t want it, I can fix you a sandwich or something. I’m not sure of what we have, though.” She offered.

Beomgyu rushed to shake his head. “No, it’s alright. I’m thankful you made this. You didn’t have to feed me, but you did.”

The woman shrugged, eating some of her soup. “I mean, I’d be a bit rude if I didn’t. It’s just manners.”

“Still.” Beomgyu glanced at the food. Nervously, he brought a spoonful to his mouth. It smelled good, he noted. He took a bite and bit into new flavors.

It was hearty and savory with the cooked vegetables adding a slight sweet kick. It felt earthy and the rabbit meat gave the stew a gamey touch, making it a perfect comfort food.

It wasn’t anything like he’s had before. Most of the meals he had were gourmet, yet were never fulfilling. Made by professional cooks, it lacked that special touch home style dishes had. And eating this stew made him realize what was missing: love.

It was cliché, Beomgyu knew that, but that’s exactly what made Y/N’s cooking so appetizing.

“Well?” Max pondered, pulling apart his bread.

“It’s very good.” He grinned and took another bite. “I’ve never had rabbit before and I was a bit nervous to try it, but after eating it, it’s most definitely the best meal I’ve had.”

Y/N felt her cheeks flush at the compliment and rolled her eyes. “Oh, shut up. It’s not that good. It’s just some meat and veggies boiled in stock.”

“No, I’m being completely truthful.” He emphasized. “You must show me how to make it. I’d definitely like to make some during my travels.”

She let out a breath. It sounded more like a chuckle before giving him a nod. “Alright, but I’ll have to teach you properly. Meaning catching your own food.” She warned. “Speaking of which, Spring Valley’s pretty far away—about a week long trip on foot. If you’re traveling, you must provide for yourself pretty well, yeah?”

Beomgyu’s brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, hunting, camping… surviving.” She clarified. “You know, the things you need to know to keep you alive, especially when no villages are around.”

He blinked. “Oh, um, well…” he trailed off slightly. “I’m not particularly familiar with it, no.” He said honestly.

Y/N stared at him, confusion written across her face. “So… wait—what?” She tried to gather her thoughts. She brought a palm to her forehead in confusion. “How the hell have you made it this long then? Without those skills, you should’ve dead by last week.”

Beomgyu’s lips pulled thin. “That’s reassuring.” He muttered with a sigh.

“You don’t know anything? Like at all?” Max pondered as well.

Beomgyu shook his head. “I’m afraid not.”

“You must have a really shit survival instinct.”

“No cursing at the table, Max.” She looked at the man who was bashfully munching on his stew. Her gaze was unnerving, making it feel like his skin was on fire. “Do you really not know anything? Exactly how long have you been traveling?”

“Only a few days.” He lied. He couldn’t exactly say: since yesterday because I’m not actually from Spring Valley but from the castle on the hill. “I suppose I’m just lucky.”

Y/N scoffed. “Damn right.”

“No cursing at the table, Y/N.” Max mocked. Y/N didn’t spare him a glance.

“So, you have a terrible sense of direction, no survival skills, and blind enough to let a literal child rob you—by the way,” she turned to her brother, “you need to give him his stuff back.”

“Oh, come on.” Max groaned.

“It’s his. Give it back to him when we finish up here. I mean it.” She ordered. “Anyway,” she looked back at Beomgyu, “so my theory from yesterday is correct. You are, in fact, an idiot.”

He frowned. “You’re not very nice, are you?”

“I’m just saying. You really need to get your shit together if you continue exploring. You’re excited to see the world, and I understand, but you should know it’s really fuckin’ dangerous, too. Not only from the wildlife and the elements, but from people. You need to learn how to provide and protect yourself.”

“How so?” Beomgyu asked.

“Y/N could show you a few things before you leave. She’s been doing this stuff since she was a kid.” Max offered.

Beomgyu looked at her with those same doe eyes from last night, round and bright with curiosity and hope. “Really? Could you? It would help me greatly.”

“I-I don’t know if I’m exactly qualified. The only person I’ve ever taught was Max and he’s probably a bigger idiot than you.” She glared at the boy. “An idiot who decides it’s a great idea to walk towards the potential danger rather than away.”

“Listen, okay, I know it was dumb, but—“

“But what? You’re lucky he wasn’t a bandit and decided to drown you in the river.” Y/N exasperated before exhaling, pushing away her half eaten stew. “Listen,” she said to Beomgyu. “I’ll show you the basics, alright? I’ll even make Max join in, too, but you should know it’s a lot different being taught how to do these things than applying them in the real world. Me showing you how to disarm someone won’t be the same if someone’s actually coming at you with the intent to kill.”

“But, it’ll be much better than me knowing nothing.” He argued.

Y/N made a face, lips pulling thin. “I suppose you’re right. It’ll give you a chance, at least.”

He smiled. “It will.” He agreed. “Thank you.”

She clicked her tongue. “Don’t thank me just yet. If I’m teaching you, then I’m teaching you. No hold backs because they won’t.”

“Of course.”

“Then it’s settled. Now finish eating before your food gets cold.”

Her hand slapped the jack harshly, shaking the coffee table from the heavy force. Y/N cackled at the dejected looks on the boys’ faces. She added the cards to her pile once again.

“What the hell?!” Max huffed. “That’s the fourth time you’ve caught it.”

His sister merely snickered at his annoyance. “Slapjack is one of my specialties. I thought you’d know that by now.”

“It’s fascinating how quick you are.” Beomgyu said, his own stack between his pale fingers. “And quite the annoyance.”

“Yeah, shouldn’t you go easy? It’s Beomgyu’s first time playing.” Max spoke, glaring at his dwindling number of cards.

Y/N scoffed. “As if. This is the best way to learn.”

“You said that while teaching Yeonjun this game and now he hates it.” Max recalled, pushing back his rouge curls.

“That’s because Yeonjun is a twat and gets butt-hurt when he loses at literally anything.” She clapped and leaned back on the floor using calloused hands. A lazy smirk tugged at her face, gaze gleaming with mischief.

“Yeonjun?” Beomgyu repeated the name.

“He’s Blue Hour’s vet and a friend of ours. Me and him went to school together along with Taehyun and Kai.” Y/N explained.

“I’ve never been to school.” Beomgyu admitted, placing down his deck.

“Were you home schooled?” Max questioned.

The man nodded. “I was.” He responded, sneaking a glance out at the evening sun. A warm glow painted the walls of the living room and the three of them basked in it, taking in the late spring air. The windows and screen door were open, bringing in a gentle breeze.

Y/N hummed. Beomgyu glanced at her and noted the way the golden light shone along the side of her face, illuminating the color of her irises. Dare he say it, she looked quite nice.

“Don’t worry. Max was, too.” Y/N stated.

“May I ask why?” He pondered, glancing between the siblings.

Y/N bit down on her lip and gave him a shrug. “Was the best option at the time.” She answered, sneaking a peek at her brother. The boy kept his sights focused on the table. Beomgyu’s brows furrow at her words. “What about you?” She continued. “Why didn’t you go to public school?”

He tensed slightly and pondered. “It was the best option at the time.” He repeated after a moment.

Y/N let out a breath of a laugh. “Fair enough.”

“What was it like?”

The woman hummed in thought. “Boring.” She said. “But entertaining at times. If you have the right people.” She grinned at a distant memory. “Kai especially. He used to do dumb shit all the time.”

“Such as?” Beomgyu pressed. Y/N noticed the curious glimmer in his eye, proving he was genuinely interested in her stories.

“There was a time when he slipped Pepperdust in Mr. Thorn’s morning coffee. It’s a natural laxative used in medicine and he stole some from his father’s office. Mr. Thorn practically shit himself and was out of school for nearly a week.”

Beomgyu blinked. Now it makes sense why his parents gave him a private tutor, but the smirk tugging at Y/N’s lips still planted a seed of envy in his stomach. It was an outrageous story to be told and it seemed, to Y/N at least, that it was a memory worth cherishing.

“Really?”

“Yeah. He got detention for over a month and was forced to give Mr. Thorn a formal apology.”

“He sounds interesting.” Beomgyu commented, pulling his knees to his chest.

“Insane more like it.” She stated. “But I think you’ll like him—all of them, really. They’re good people despite the chaos they caused when we were younger.”

Beomgyu blinked, pondering silently about the people Y/N spoke so highly of. “The way you speak of them, you seem close.” He muttered, picking slightly at his facedown cards.

Y/N hummed softly. “We are. We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember. Since preschool, at least.” She replied.

“Would you mind if I asked you about them?” He pondered.

She shook her head. “What would you like to know?”

“You seem to have some bizarre stories. Are they truly that mad?” Beomgyu questioned, leaning back against the base of the couch.

Y/N let out a chuckle, the tune airy in nature. “Not much anymore. I mean, Kai is, but he’s calmed down some as he’s gotten older.”

“Kai,” he repeated, “he seems troublesome.”

“Eh,” the girl shrugged. “He was rowdy, but aren’t we all as kids?”

Beomgyu bit his lower lip, gnawing subtly on his skin.

Aren’t we all as kids? It echoed through his mind, loud and clear.

No, he wanted to say, I never had such luxury.

Instead, he nodded, offering a smile. “I suppose you’re correct.”

Y/N returned the gesture. “Kai’s a good guy. He’s very sociable and makes friends pretty easily. I guess that came from meeting so many people who came to visit his dad at the clinic, so he knows pretty much everyone in the village. As of late, he and his older sister’s been studying medicine to help take over the family business when their father retires.”

Beomgyu hummed. “You mentioned a Yeonjun and a Taehyun before. Are you close with them, too?”

“I am.” She responded. “Taehyun is on the quieter side, but put him with Kai and you’ll wish you never did. He’s very intelligent and a very talented baker. His mom owns a shop on the main street in town and he helps her with it most of the time.

Yeonjun is who I say I’m closest with, though. I’ve know him the longest. Our parents were close friends and he’d come visit often. He’s a very gentle person and has a deep love for animals, so it’s not a surprise when he became Blue Hour Grove’s best vet.”

She watched Beomgyu’s face ever-so-slightly falter with her words. “What about you?”

“What about me?” Beomgyu questioned, wrapping his arms around his long legs.

“Your friends? What are they like? Are they just as weird as you?” She teased, a small, crooked grin pulling at her lips.

Beomgyu let out an breathy chuckle and shook his head. “I’m afraid not. I…” He trailed off slightly before offering a shrug. “I don’t really have any.”

“It’s okay,” Max piped up, causing other two to peer over at him. He gave Beomgyu a smile. “I don’t have friends either, besides Kai’s younger sister.” He said. “Where I was home-schooled, I didn’t get the chance to properly make any. Is that what it’s like with you?”

Beomgyu felt his heart sting at the boy’s words. He nodded after a moment. “Yes.” He answered. “There weren’t many other children in the province of Spring Valley where I was raised. Besides my brother, I spent most of my time alone with my studies or in the library.”

Y/N frowned, face sullen at the pitiful confession.

“Well,” Max stated. “I suppose we’re somewhat like friends, aren’t we? Or on the way to being so, anyway.”

Beomgyu’s brows twitched, rising slightly at the boy’s words. He wondered: is this what it’s like? To make friends? To form bonds with people other than those you’ve known since you were an infant? At best, Beomgyu, Y/N, and Max were mere acquaintances.

But acquaintances lead to relationships—friendships.

He beamed at Max, offering a warm smile and nodded. “I like to believe so. From the very little time I’ve known you both, I do find myself enjoying your company.” He said, glancing between the siblings. “Despite your insults regarding my intelligence, you’re very welcoming and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

Y/N scoffed, face flushing slightly at the compliment. “It’s called being a decent person. You were hurt by one of our traps. It’s the least I can do.”

“Not everyone would offer the same kindness as you. Truly, I am grateful.” Beomgyu continued, grin softening and brown eyes growing warm with a touch of sincere gratitude. “I will return the favor—somehow—but I will.”

Y/N shook her head, stray locks that have fallen from the half-assed low ponytail grazed her cheeks. “Don’t worry about it, seriously. It’s not a big deal.”

“Please,” the male cut in, tone soft but desperate. “I will repay you. Let me.”

A small sigh escaped through Y/N’s nose. She met Beomgyu’s gaze for a moment, watching as he silently begged, and clicked her tongue. “Fine, but you’re not doing shit ‘til your foot’s better.”

His smile widened once more, nearly splitting the apples of his red cheeks. He nodded. “Of course.”

With another breath, Y/N gestured towards the abandoned game. “Another round?” A crooked smirk pulled at her lips, glancing between Beomgyu and Max.

“I’m gonna whoop your ass this time.” Max chimed, gathering the pile of cards strewn across the coffee table.

“One more. I say I’m getting the hang of it.” Beomgyu agreed. “Perhaps I may win this time.”

The girl scoffed.

“You’re on, pretty boy.”

taglist: @usuallyunlikelyfox @xylatox @the-car-in-ikily

[starbluud]

— NOTHING BUT ARTERIES AND DIRT (YOUR FLOWERS STILL GROW IN MY VEINS)

CHAPTER ONE. to be loved (what a sick feeling)

PAIRING. prince!beomgyu x farmer!f!reader.

TW. cursing. slight blood and injury. attempted forced marriage. hunting traps. death threats. reader has a little brother named max. poor attempt at british slang/words (im from the us im sorry).

GENRE. fluff. angst. royalty!au. fantasy!au.

SUMMARY. choi beomgyu, the current prince and future king of blue hour grove, craves a change — something with substance. he yearns for something to break the monotony of his repetitive lifestyle, where he’s confined to the castle, preparing to rule for when his father steps down. all he’s ever known are books, proper etiquette, and unbearably dull balls and meetings. just a taste of something new — that’s all he asks.

so, when a chance finally arises to experience the bustling village beyond the tall white walls he’s grown to despise, he doesn’t hesitate to take it. now on the run and new to this unfamiliar world, a certain farmer piques his interest. as he breaks down this shield she has up, she begins to show him what it truly means to live. yet, with the royal family on the hunt for the missing heir, it’s only a matter of time before his dreams come crashing down.

MIXTAPE. soldier, poet, king, the oh hellos. welcome home, son, radical face. king and lionheart, of monsters and men. skinny love, bon iver. michigan, the milk carton kids. dear wormwood, the oh hellos. ghost towns, radical face. featherstone, the paper kites. wasteland, baby!, hoizer. the night we met, lord huron. white winter hymnal, fleet foxes.

NOTES. hello! sorry for taking so long to get this out. i’ve been busy with some things going on in my life and im also working on two other fanfic stories over on wattpad, too. if you’d like to read another beomgyu fic, there’s one over there along with one for eli/hawk from cobra kai. my name over there is just starblud. anyway, updates will be slow and that goes for all of my writing but i’ve been editing this part for a hot minute and decided to just go ahead and put it out. i hope you enjoy!! <3

masterlist | next

— BLUE HOUR GROVE has always been beautiful. It was busy little village inhabited by friendly merchants and full of life, swaddled deep in forested mountains. Small, family-owned stores lined cobblestone streets and laughter was often heard from excited children. The wilderness brought in hearty meals and rivers were lined with passing sailors. Even tunes of distant music got carried through gentle winds and by nightfall, the town would flourish in golden light and joyful chatter. Adults would pile into lively bars and fill their bellies with beer and aged wine. People would grab one another and drunkenly dance under the shining stars, giving the kingdom of Blue Hour Grove a warm sense of community and comfort.

Yet, at the top of the village’s tallest mountain sat a lonely castle. Large brick walls stood tall and watched over by hundreds of roaming guards. Empty foyers remained lonesome, overlooked by giant portraits of the royal family who lived in the silent halls, and marbled floors polished to perfection. An aura of sadness clung to the stale air and slowly began to overtake the comforting smell of old books in the library.

The prince grit his teeth and tried to focus on the words printed on the yellowing paper. It was later in the afternoon. The sky was painted in a mess of oranges, pinks, and purples as the sun began to head in for the night. Candles and lanterns around the castle were lit by the busy maids. It illuminated the corridors weakly, the rising moon providing more light than flames ever did.

Beomgyu sighed with frustration, running a hand through soft locks. He shut the book and pushed it away. Through the windows of the room, he watched the village’s oil lamp posts spark up. Distant figures mingled together along the rocky roads and he could hear the faint echoes of laughter.

He stood from his desk chair and made his way over. Brown hues brightened with curiosity as he observed the townsfolk. Underneath it, however, sat a seed of envy. To see people smile with loved ones and create meaningful connections — it caused jealousy to burn like wildfire in his gut. All he’s ever known were the confines of this lonesome building he called home.

Was it even a home? He wasn’t sure, but it was the closest thing to what ‘home’ could be. He had his family there — his mother, father, and brother at times whom he loved deeply, yes, but it never felt like he belonged. He craved sincere relationships with others. He wanted that bond he’s seen between the villagers. He wanted to experience stupid inside jokes, playful drunken banter, to laugh until he cried. These things seemed so normalized to those outside, yet Beomgyu, it was foreign. The only friend he’s ever had was his sibling. Even then, the scarce moments of fun he’s had with him were squandered immediately by his parents. To them, if you had time to relax, you had time to study.

So, to see such liveliness so close yet so far away, it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

A sudden knock on the door made him flinch. “Come in.” he spoke. It creaked open before an older woman peeked in. Penny, one of the castle’s maids and Beomgyu’s personal favorite, stepped in.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Your Highness.” He grimaced at that title. To be called such a thing, as if he was better than any other commoner, he despised it deeply.

“I thought I said you don’t have to call me that, Penny.” He said, voice soft and laced with ease.

“A-Ah, yes, my mistake,” she swallowed thickly, “Beomgyu.” It was almost like she was scared to say it, and quite literally, she was. To imagine what would happen to her if either the king or queen heard her call the prince by his name sent a shiver down her spine.

“Is there something you need?” He asked, pulling the woman from her thoughts.

“Yes. The king and queen request your presence in the king’s office. They said it was an urgent matter.” She relayed, calloused hands laced together in front of her dress.

Beomgyu gave her a small smile and nod. “Okay. thank you. I’ll head there now.”

“Of course.” She bowed in respect before Beomgyu excused her.

He exited his library and went up the grand staircase. He walked through the plethora of sickeningly similar hallways, all cleaned to perfection and lacking any sort of personality. To an outsider, the interior of the castle would be an unsolvable maze of sorts. There were doors upon doors and dozens of rooms, yet Beomgyu knew the route like the back of his hand.

It wasn’t long until he stood at the double oak doors of his father’s study. He knocked gently and stepped in when ordered. The king was sat behind his desk, the queen stood beside him, and prince Soobin stood across.

“Beomgyu,” his father greeted and beckoned him forward. He walked up and stood next to his brother. Soobin offered him a weak smile, hidden from the eyes of their parents. The man sighed. “I apologize for calling you so late, but something important has come up that we need to discuss.” He opened a folder. “Seeing as Soobin has already wed, you are reaching the age to do so as well.” His dark hues met the prince’s.

Beomgyu felt his stomach churn in distaste. “Pardon?”

The man’s eyes narrowed at his son. “You are to be married.” He stated again, this time with more force. “We have many suitors from all over the region headed this way. Come nightfall on Saturday, a ball will be held in honor of such thing. During so, we will determine who we will benefit the most from and have you wed in preparation for when you take my position.”

Beomgyu bit down on his lip harshly, digging his teeth in until the taste of iron flooded his tastebuds. “I do not wish to be married, Father.”

“But you must. For the good of the kingdom, you must do so.” The elder ordered.

The boy shook his head. “I’m only 19, Father. I’m still learning what I’m to do when I’m given the crown and I’m no where near finished with my current studies. For me to marry so soon would be a mistake.”

The king’s aged face hardened, displeased that his decision was seen as a ‘mistake.’ “This is for the benefit of Blue Hour Grove, Beomgyu. As soon-to-be king, you need to put the welfare of the people before yours. Otherwise, the village would fall to ruins and destroy everything our ancestors worked for. Having valuable business relations would aid in the kingdom’s ever-growing wealth and prosperity. This needs to be done.”

“But I’m not fixed to be king for several more years. I do not see why this needs to be so soon. In fact, it would only hinder my preparations.” Beomgyu argued. His hands that were crossed behind his back balled into fists, his nails inflicting crescent shaped wounds into the hill of his palm.

“Hinder your preparations?” The queen gawked. “Son, this marriage would be part of your preparations.”

“How? It doesn’t make sense, Mother. For me to get wed to an heir whom I have no interest in? Whom I have no feelings for? It’s insanity.” The prince’s brows furrowed in agitation. How could they not see the flaws in this?

“It is not insanity. It is business. This is how ruling works. It does not matter how you feel about your spouse. In love or not, you will be wed and if you object any further, you will be locked away once again.” His father warned.

Beomgyu shut up quick, but his molars still gritted together. He looked away and down at his shoes. He felt the king’s sharp stare on his skin.

“You two are dismissed.”

Beomgyu sped out of the room with his brother close behind. He felt a sinking weight on his chest and it only seemed to get heavier as the seconds go by. To be married off? To be bound to someone he couldn’t care less about forever? He wanted to have relationships, but not in this way. Not where everything they had between them is fake and forced. The thought nearly made him sick.

A hand caught his elbow, making him stop suddenly. Soobin stood panting and a deep frown pulled at his lips. “Gods, Beomgyu.” He huffed. He went to chastised him for speeding down the halls, but faltered at the greif written on his sibling’s features.

“Why must I have to do this?” Beomgyu asked, meeting Soobin’s gaze. “How were you so okay with being married off without having a choice in the matter?”

Soobin felt his shoulder’s fall at his question. He paused for a moment, trying to find his words. “Because I was already in love with her.” He answered. “Miyun and I were already conversing way before we were together. We met at one of the balls Father always throws when we were adolescents and kept in touch ever since. It was only luck Mother and Father deemed her the most worthy to wed.”

“That just makes me feel worse.” Beomgyu let out a humorless laugh. “At least you love her. I’m forced to be with someone whom I have no connection with. And all for the sake of being king?” He scoffed. “I don’t even want that damned title anyway. I don’t want to be in this castle. I don’t want to attend any more boring meetings or balls full of stuck up heirs. I don’t want to carry the stress of an entire kingdom on my back everyday. I don’t want any of it, Soobin.”

Soobin felt pity wrap around his heart at the sight of his distressed brother. He understood his anger and heartbreak. Ever since they were children, Soobin knew Beomgyu didn’t belong in the cage that was royalty. There were many times where he caught his younger brother sat at the window of his room or library staring down at the town they’ve never visited. The twinkle of curiosity and admiration was evident in his irises. The boy craved to experience what life had to offer and he couldn’t do that behind these walls.

“What is it you want to do?” Soobin pondered.

Beomgyu swallowed before shrugging. “I don’t know.” He whispered. “Live?” He glanced around. “But this… being in here with so many duties and surrounded by people who scrub the floors we walk on… Meeting suitors and having to deal with those whom think they are better than others that have to work for what they need… This isn’t the life I wish to have.”

Soobin nodded. A pause went by before either of them spoke again. “I see your anger.” He said, subconsciously fiddling with his wedding band. He peeked over his shoulder at the doors they just left from before turning back. He leaned in and kept his voice low. “You don’t deserve to deal with such things that bring you distress, Beomgyu. You’ve always wanted to go out and see what the world has to offer and it’s unfair to you to be kept from that. I don’t want you to waste your life away being miserable behind these walls and married to someone whom you don’t love and care for.”

Beomgyu’s face twisted with confusion. He cocked his head slightly. “What are you trying to say?”

Soobin wet his lips quickly before letting out a breath. “I want you to leave. I want you to travel and find the things you’ve always been searching for. To make friends and cherished memories. To experience life first hand. You cannot do that here.”

Beomgyu blinked at him. “That’s not exactly possible. You are the ruler of Spring Valley. With you gone, there’s no one to take the crown when father resigns. I’m left with that responsibility.”

The eldest boy scoffed quietly. “But you don’t wish to be king. You never have.”

Beomgyu frowned. “I know.” He said.

“Then do something about it. Leave.” Soobin pushed, eyes swimming with plead. “Do this for yourself.”

Beomgyu stared at him for a second. “How? There are guards and maids everywhere and Mother and Father watch our every move. To do so would be near impossible.”

“Near.” Soobin pointed out. “But not completely. It’ll be hard, yes, but we’ll manage.”

“What do you plan on doing?” Beomgyu inquired. A wave of worry drenched him like cold water.

“Don’t worry. Leave it to me, but be ready to run by morn.” Soobin stated. His proposal puzzled the younger prince even more.

“Are you being serious? I don’t want you to get into trouble.” Beomgyu frowned.

Soobin rolled his eyes before offering a small grin. “What would Mother and Father do? I have a country to run. They cannot keep me here without alarming Spring Valley’s authorities. It would bring war between the states and that is something Father does not want.���

Beomgyu’s mouth fell open in shock. “Why would you do such a thing? Why risk the welfare of your kingdom?”

“Because you are my family. The only person in this damned place that gave me the freedom and excitement I once craved. It’s time I do the same for you.” And without another word, Soobin left. He refused to give Beomgyu any time to argue and sped off through the labyrinth of corridors.

The boy stood still in shock before realization hit him like a carriage. With a racing heart, Beomgyu sprinted to his room and locked himself inside. He grabbed a small rucksack from his walk-in closet, barely big enough to carry his necessities, and filled it with a few spare clothes, a mini sewing kit, a handful of gold coins, and a town map (one that Soobin snuck from Father’s office for him when they were kids and he’s kept it ever since.)

He stood impatiently by the window and glanced out. The village was still bright from lanterns and there were only a few people out and closing their shops. The moon now hung high in the starlit sky, baring down on the prince who’s heart pounded with anxiety and adrenaline. He’s never gone against his parents’ word. He done as he was told and hardly ever argued back, so this — running away — is entirely new to him.

However, buried deep underneath that anticipation was a small voice. It muttered softly in his ear: you’ll regret this, you’ll regret this, you’ll regret this.

It made him think. Would he regret this? Running off to learn that the world he’s dreamed of seeing since he was a child could be a nightmare — it made him nervous. Not only would he be putting himself in danger, but the people he meets as well. He’d be on the run for as long as he’s gone, so could he ever truly learn what life is like if he’s constantly looking over his shoulder?

But, as he looks out at the quiet village he’s been so envious of, the need of a difference overpowered any feeling of unease.

No, even if the outside world turned out to be terrible, he would never find it in himself to regret seeing it.

The wait for the sun to rise couldn’t have felt any longer. Beomgyu blinked, eyes still fixated on the kingdom on Blue Hour Grove since it woke hours earlier. Dark circles decorated his smooth skin and was proof of his lack of sleep. He willed himself to stay up, scared he’d miss his chance to escape if he dozed off.

A sudden knock made him jump and rush to shove his bag under his bed. “Come in.” He called, sitting on his mattress to appear normal.

He felt a wave of relief fall over him when Soobin peeked in. His tense shoulders eased and he let out an unsteady breath, pulling back out the rucksack.

“Good. You’re ready.” Soobin said, stepping over. “You’ll head through the cellar. I made sure that no maids or guards are scouting that area and it’ll be dark so be wary. The end of the tunnel will open up into the woodlands out back and from there, go eastbound. The village should be a few miles out.” He ordered quickly. “You must be quick and quiet and do not hesitate. Doing so may ruin everything, do you understand?”

Beomgyu nodded rapidly.

“Okay. Right now, I need you to hide behind the wall of wine kegs at the entrance of the kitchen. It should keep you out of sight. That way will be the shortest route to the cellar and I need you to wait for my signal.”

“What is the signal?” Beomgyu asked. Soobin merely smiled as he lead the prince out of the room and down a set of stairs.

“Don’t worry about that.” He comforted. “You’ll know, and here.” He paused before reaching in his trouser’s pocket and pulled something out. He handed it over, placing the item that held a light weight in Beomgyu’s palm. It was a small pocket knife. “It’s not much, but it’s better to be safe. Now, go and be quick.”

Beomgyu grabbed his brother’s wrist as he went to leave. Soobin paused. “Thank you, Soobin. I’ll pay you back for this. Somehow. I promise.”

Soobin let out a chuckle and gave Beomgyu a pat on the arm. “Do so by being happy. I am, so it’s time you are, too.” He bid. “I’ll see you later, Gyu.” Quickly, he threw his arms around the boy and gave him a squeeze. Just as Beomgyu went to return the hug, Soobin pulled away and ran off.

A burn of tears ached in Beomgyu’s eyes but he willed them away as fast as they came. He’ll see him again, yet he doesn’t know how long that will be. With a sniffle and a deep breath, Beomgyu snuck his way down to the kitchen.

The kitchen was large, packed with pantries full of goods and warm from previously used open fire ovens. Large windows brought in sunlight and reflected off the calm water of washing basins. Usually, the room is busy from maids and cooks preparing meals throughout the day, so to see it so empty and quiet was a shock.

He didn’t question it and hid between the stone wall and alcohol barrels, wedging himself in a corner away from any passersby. The blade he was given was clutched tightly in his palm and his bag hung over his body.

A few minutes pass as Beomgyu waited. What exactly was he waiting for? He wasn’t entirely sure. Soobin never told him what the plan was, so he’s just gonna have to guess what this signal was.

Yet, a rhythmic thump caught his attention. Beomgyu’s forehead creased with confusion as it grew louder and closer. Followed right behind it were the sounds of distant shouts. The prince peeked out slightly, making sure to keep hidden in the dark, and waited for whatever it was to run by.

What he wasn’t expecting was his father’s large black stallion to speed past. It’s massive hooves clacked against the polished floors as it sprinted away. Two guards chased it, but wasn’t having much luck keeping up.

The sight forced out a small laugh. So this was the signal. He had to give it to Soobin: it was quite the distraction.

Another voice shouted from down the hall. “Someone let the barn animals loose!”

Beomgyu was speedy at unlocking the cellar gate and shut it silently behind him. He was instantly swallowed in darkness. The air smelled damp and a chill caused goosebumps to rise to his skin. His shoes grew wet from puddles littering the floor and he could hear the faint drip of water droplets hit the ground. Hands reached out to the rock walls and used them to guide his way out. The rigid stone felt rough against his digits. His chest felt heavy as he made his way out.

It was only a minute or so until he came across a small set of wooden steps. He felt the rotting plank sink under his weight. The door that sat up top swung open and sunlight pooled in, blinding the boy from the sun’s rays.

His lashes fluttered until his vision cleared. A smile grew on his face. All he saw were trees. The forest line sat only a few feet way. A breeze passed by, shaking green leaves and blooming flowers. The sound of rustling branches was like music to his ears. At last, he was here with the world just fingertips away and he never felt so alive.

Until his name was called.

His face fell, much like his stomach that now felt like it sat at his feet. Soobin said it was clear. It was clear. It was supposed to be clear.

He let out a shaky breath and turned.

“Beomgyu? Where are you going?” A familiar voice questioned. Penny stood next to the cellar doors, lawn tools in hand. Her aged, pale face was written with confusion. Her red brows were pinched together, looking at the prince.

“P-Penny?” Beomgyu struggled, feeling a lump grow in his throat. He tried to swallow it, but failed miserably. “What are you doing here?”

“Your mother requested me to weed and water the garden.” She answered. She glanced at the boy’s bag. “Where are you going, Beomgyu?”

He could feel his hands tremble slightly. “Please…” He pleaded softly. “Please don’t tell Mother and Father of this.”

“You’re leaving.” She concluded quietly, tone barely above a whisper.

He nodded timidly. “Y-Yes.” He frowned. “I-I am, but I beg of you, Penny.” He bowed his head, grasping her hand with both of his. “Let me go. I-I’ll do anything, give whatever it is you desire. You can have—“

“Beomgyu,” she interrupted, removing her palm and instead placed it on his elbow. She gave it a reassuring squeeze, trying to ease the anxiety pumping through his veins. She gave him a small grin. “There’s no need to worry. I won’t mention anything.”

Beomgyu looked back up, puzzled. “You won’t?”

“I won’t.” She said.

“B-But,” he pondered, chest tightening. “You would risk punishment doing so.”

“I know.” She replied. “Yet I’ve known you long enough to notice your distaste for royalty. You’re young and curious. I wish for you to be happy and I know you can’t find it here. You’re born to learn. You can’t do so without experience.”

“Why would you do such a thing? For me?”

“Because I care for you. Since Prince Soobin left, you are the only other one in the castle to treat me with respect — like we are equals.” She spoke.

“We are equals.” He spoke, feeling his heart clench at her words. “I refuse to be deemed higher all due to a damned title. It is wrong.”

“But in the eyes of royalty, you are, and your beliefs show you are more human than them. Sadly, that outlook isn’t welcome here. That’s why I want to help you.” Penny gave him a small smile. “Respect can get you a long way. I’m merely returning the favor.”

Beomgyu remained quiet, too stunned to form words at how willing the elder lady was. She continued. “I’ll keep everyone away from this side of the castle. It should give you some time to make distance.” She pushed him away, nudging him towards the woodlands.

“But—“

“Go,” she pressed. “I’ll see you soon. I promise.” She gave him a smile, thin lips pulled up with warmth. Without giving the prince a chance to speak, she departed and made her way through the cellar.

Beomgyu remained still and took a breath. He turned around towards the lush trees painted golden from the morning sun. A distant bird called and a breeze flew by, shaking the full branches.

With Penny and Soobin in mind, he sprinted.

“Dammit, Max.” A girl huffed, rolling her eyes at the curly haired child. He turned towards his older sister, freckled face and hands dyed purple. “Are you serious? You ate all the voiletfruits?”

Max shrugged nonchalantly and dipped his stained digits in the small stream. “I was hungry.” He said.

“If you’re gonna wash your hands, at least wash your face, too, kid.” She scolded and pulled out a handkerchief she kept on her. She dipped it in the creek and rang out the extra water, forcing Max to look at her so she can wipe his mouth. “Imagine being 12-years-old and eating like a pig.”

The boy scoffed, but let her clean his tanned skin. “You do the same thing, Y/N. Especially when Taehyun’s mom has him bring over pastries.”

“Whatever,” she mumbled, knowing his words rang true. She pulled away and skimmed his features for any violetfruit residue. She gave him an affectionate head flick.

“Hey!” He groaned and rubbed the sore spot.

“Come on,” she stated. The boy followed along, the siblings trudged up the trail leading up to a small house. They could hear the soft mutter of farm animals bellow as they walk by.

Y/N kicked open the screen door and placed the now empty basket on the dining table. She leaned against it with crossed arms. She stared at the boy.

“What?” He asked, taking the cloth from Y/N’s pocket and tossed it with the growing pile of dirty clothes.

“You’re coming with me to check the traps.” She said. That caused Max to whine in protest.

“Why?”

Y/N let out a laugh at his reaction. “Because,” she said as she passed, “see it as payment for not saving me any fruit. You know those were my favorite.”

“Fine.” Max gave in without a fight.

“Good. Now, put on your boots.”

“But we just got home.”

“Yeah, but look outside.” Y/N gestured towards a window. “It’s turning nightfall. If we don’t check the snares and nets, we won’t have food for this week.” She explained.

“Why didn’t you do so earlier?” Max questioned, annoyance written in his scrunched brows. He walked past Y/N and sat on a wooden rocking chair, slipping on a pair of leather work boots.

“Because I was busy with the animals this morning since Yeonjun came down to look at Macy’s bad hoof. Then, I had to weed the garden and bring the fresh produce to the market. After that, I began cleaning on the barn—“

“Okay, I understand. You were busy.” Max sassed.

Y/N reached over and pinched his chubby cheek. “I’m your elder. Watch your tone.”

Max responded with an eye roll but didn’t comment any further. “Can we go? I don’t like being in the woods after dark.”

Y/N sighed and nodded. “Okay, let’s go.”

The siblings left with tools in hand. Max carried a roll of rope while Y/N had a bow sat on her shoulder, a quiver made from animal hide housing several homemade arrows on her back. She also kept a blade on her belt in case of emergencies.

Checking the traps was easy and setting them back up was just as swift. Y/N managed to catch a couple rabbits from the snares hidden in the grass and fallen leaves.

“See?” Y/N demonstrated, showing the boy how to properly set the trap. “You make sure to keep the rope hidden somewhere along this trail. When food runs through it, it would catch it.”

Max watched closely, mimicking the slipknot his sister made. Y/N smiled when he finally managed to get it right. “Good.” She complimented. “Do you think you could do the ones near the river?”

“Yeah.” Max replied.

“Make sure to avoid the large snare. It’s for bandits and I don’t want to cut you down.” Y/N warned, dusting off the dirt stuck to her pants.

“I know. You tell me this every time we go to set it.” Max huffed.

Y/N propped a calloused hand on her hip. “And each time you manage to set it off. Remember when you got caught that one time? You had nasty burn on your ankle for weeks.”

Max’s cheeks flushed at the memory. “Please stop bringing that up. You know I don’t like it.”

“I’m using it as a lesson.” Y/N clarified. “Watch out.”

“I will.” The child said before heading off, not wanting to stay any longer to deal with his sister’s nagging.

He headed down a familiar path that was lush with greenery. Trees loomed overhead and casted shadows against the golden sunlight. Careful of his footing, he set off toward the sound of rushing water.

Not too far from the river bed, a sudden noise caused him to stop in his tracks. He froze, a rush of anxiety fell over him. He strained to hear. It sounded like someone… struggling. Green hues widened with fear and shock. Did the trap actually catch someone? Was it a criminal? Someone with a plan to rob them before running off?

Max’s jaw clenched and decided to follow the source. A large part of him screamed this was a bad idea and to run the opposite way. Yet, the smaller bit full of curiosity seemed to overpower his logical side.

However, the sight of a boy roughly Y/N’s age was a rather big surprise.

He was strung upside down, dangling a few feet above the forest floor, with his left foot caught in the snare. His pale face was red and only burned brighter the more he struggled to grasp the brown bag leaning against the tree trunk.

The stranger peered up at a twig snapping and met the eye of the young boy.

Max nearly laughed at his previous nervousness. Bandit my ass, he thought.

“Oh,” the man hummed. “Hello,” he greeted with a sheepish smile.

Max remained quiet for a moment. His lack of a response made the captive’s grin drop.

“You’re caught in our snare.” Max pointed out, speaking the obvious.

“Ah,” the male hummed, glancing at his leg. “It appears I am. I didn’t notice it.”

Max let out a breath. It sounded more like a chuckle. “That’s the point of a snare. You’re not supposed to notice it.” He said. “How long have you been like this?”

“I’m not sure. Quite a while, at least. I’m rather surprised I haven’t fainted yet. I’d much appreciate it if you’d cut me down.”

Max’s gaze narrowed. Though he highly doubted this idiot that hung from the branches was a threat, he still remained cautious. “How do I know you won’t do something? Rob me? Shank me? Drown me in the river?”

The stranger gawked at the boy, looking at him as if he sprouted another head. “Why would I do such a thing?”

Max shrugged. “I don’t know. Some people aren’t the nicest. It’s hard to tell if a random person on our property is dangerous or not.”

“I’m not dangerous.”

“That’s what a dangerous person would say. Trying to lower my guard, I see.”

“What? No! I just want down from here.”

“And have the possibility of getting stabbed? I don’t know about that.”

“I do not wish to harm you.” The man exasperated. “What could I do to prove I’m not a threat?”

Max pondered silently. He glanced down at the stranger’s bag he was trying to reach for. He could search the man and take away anything that could be used as a weapon.

Max nodded towards the rucksack. “Let me go through that.” He said. “And your pockets. After that, I’ll let you down. Deal?”

“Y-Yes. Yes, that’s fine, but please hurry. I’m getting rather sick.”

Max obliged and grabbed the satchel. He opened it and began to pull everything out. It all harmless, he determined. It was mostly full of clothes and other basic necessities, and even then, it wasn’t much. He eyed a folded paper before opening it. It was a map of Blue Hour Grove. His brows furrowed.

“Why do you have this? Are you a traveler?” Max asked and stood.

The man pondered to himself silently. “I suppose I am. I’m unfamiliar with the village.”

Max hummed in acknowledgment. “Then, why are you all the way out here? Town’s a few miles east.” He said and began to search the stranger’s pockets. They were empty except for the small knife.

“E-East? You said east?” The man looked at the boy with wide brown hues. “Damn,” he cursed.

Max didn’t respond and instead held up the blade. “I’ll cut you down, but I’m keeping this.”

“What? No!”

“Then, have fun hanging there.”

Max turned, ready to leave before the the man called out. “No! Wait, you… you can keep it. Just help me. Please.” He begged.

Max smirked. “That’s what I thought.” With the weapon in hand, he began to saw at the thick rope tied to the tree. It wasn’t long before it snapped, sending the man falling and landing on his back.

The wind was knocked out of his lungs. “That was painful.” He wheezed and sat up with a wince. “Thank you.” He gave the child a grateful smile.

“What’s your name?” Max questioned, closing the knife and clipping it to his belt.

He hesitated for a moment before responding. “Beomgyu. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

Max tilted his head slightly. “You talk funny.”

Beomgyu felt his face burn. “That’s quite rude.” He mumbled.

Max shrugged. “Just saying. You sound so proper. No one really talks like that around here.”

Beomgyu blinked and let the words soak in. He did sound strange. “I suppose you’re correct. As I said, I’m not familiar with this place.” He recalled before letting out a sigh. “Thank you for the help, but I believe I must get going. I’m in a bit of a hurry.” He stated and went to grasp his bag. However, just as his fingertips touched it, an arrow flew past. It’s pointed head sliced through the skin of his hand. He yelped and jumped back, cradling his injured digits that began to bleed.

“Max!” A voice shouted. A girl sprinted up to the boy and pulled him behind her. She reloaded, another arrow aimed at Beomgyu’s face. “The hell do you think you’re doing?” She snapped behind her.

“What? He’s not going to do anything, Y/N!” Max shouted back. “I checked him and everything. I even took his knife.”

“Fuckin’ hell.” She cursed, pointed glare still on Beomgyu. He held his hands up in defense, red leaking down his pale arms and staining the sleeve of his white shirt. “I thought I taught you better than this.” Y/N huffed.

“What’re you doing on my property?” She hissed towards the older male.

“I-I do apologize.” Beomgyu rushed to say, tone quivering in fear. “I’m lost and got caught in your snare. I-I didn’t mean to disturb you, honest.”

Y/N scoffed. “Like I believe that shit. Tell me what you’re really doing here.”

“It’s true! My directions got mixed up. I was heading for the village and went the opposite way.” He argued. His heart pounded. Was every commoner like this? He sincerely hopes not.

“Beomgyu’s not lying, Y/N.” Max walked out from behind her and positioned himself in front of the bow, blocking the man on the ground. “He’s got a town map in his bag and the only thing he had on him was a knife and I took it. He’s harmless.”

Y/N paused before exhaling. She dropped her aim and placed the arrow back in the quiver. Then, she smacked the back of her brother’s head.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“Are you stupid? Gods, Max, what if he killed you? Or kidnapped you for that matter?” Y/N exclaimed, running a hand through her hair. “He could’ve been a bandit for crying out loud!”

Max rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “But he didn’t. Besides, I’m 12. I can take care of myself. I’m practically a teenager.”

“That is not helping your case.” His sister scolded. “In fact, it’s only making it worse. Now, go back to the house. You’re grounded for being an idiot.”

“Oh, come on—“

“Go, Maxwell, or I’ll carry your ass there.” Y/N threatened.

The kid sighed in annoyance. “Fine.” He gave in before stomping off, leaving the others behind.

Y/N turned to the male. “Beomgyu, right?”

He nodded. “Yes, that’s correct.”

“Get off the ground and leave. It’s getting late.” She ordered, gesturing for the man to stand.

He did so with his bag in his grasp. He gave her a quick bow of gratitude, glad she didn’t drive an arrow through his skull. She gave him an odd look but remained quiet.

“Thank you. I apologize once more. I didn’t mean to alarm you.” He spoke. “But I’ll be off.” However, as he took a step forward, he flinched harshly and hit the floor again. He hissed in pain.

Y/N came closer and leaned down. Beomgyu’s bloodied hands went to cradle his ankle. The skin was red, blistered and raw, and gnarly to look at. “Ah, rope burn.” She said. “It looks a lot worse than normal. Probably where you were fighting to get down.” She looked up, brown meeting e/c, and Beomgyu had to swallow the sudden lump in his throat. “Getting nicked by that arrow doesn’t help either.”

Beomgyu shook his head. “Ah, don’t worry. You were frightened and merely protected yourself.”

“True, but the more you speak, the more I realize you’re a bit stupid.”

Beomgyu’s face fell. “You know, you and that boy are really rude.” He frowned. “I thought you were afraid of me?”

Y/N let out a scoff. “Of you? Bollocks.” She spoke, pulling his pant leg up to look at his wound more.

“Well, I bet I could be well scary.” He argued, a small pout present on his pink lips. “I-If I wanted.”He winced at the pain of the girl’s prodding.

“It’s pretty hard to be scared of someone I could snap in half, much less one who let a child rob you.”

Beomgyu froze at her words. “Pardon?”

“Yeah. Not only did he take your knife, I’m almost certain Max took some money from you, too.” She gave him a smirk. He rushed to grab his bag and open it. He felt his heart sink at the sight of his gold coins missing.

“Why would he do that?” He asked.

“Because he’s a kid?” Y/N replied with a quirked brow. “Kids do dumb things. I know I did when I was his age.” She sighed and sat his foot back down. “We need to get this cleaned or it’ll get infected. Especially since the rope’s covered in dirt. Same thing for your hand. Those arrows aren’t the cleanest.”

“What must I do then?” He questioned, worry laced in his tone. “I don’t believe there is a doctor available at this hour.”

“There isn’t. Besides, Kai’s dad is out of town for the next few days. He’s the only doctor Blue Hour Grove has. It’s best to just get them washed up somewhere else.” She explained and stood with crossed arms. “I can patch you up back at my house.” She clicked her tongue. “And I can get Max to give you your money back.”

Beomgyu’s forehead creased with concern. “Are you sure? You seemed pretty skeptical of my presence. I don’t wish to intrude if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Well, I don’t particularly like the idea of you being around, but be lucky I have a guilty conscience. Rope burn is a nasty thing to deal with and even more so if you travel on foot. I’ll do what I can to clean your injuries and dress them and when you’re able to walk again, you’re to leave. No ifs, ands, or buts.” She ordered with a pointed edge in her voice. “And if you try anything,” she squatted back down, the hunting knife from her belt now pointed at his face. He swallowed thickly. “I will gut you and feed your innards to my work dog. Am I clear?”

Beomgyu nodded frantically. “Y-Yes. Very clear.”

“Good.” She said and put her blade back. She offered a hand. Beomgyu eyed it warily before taking it, his soft palm contrasting greatly with her rough one. She pulled him up with a shocking wave of strength, nearly making him fall again. She caught him luckily, and tossed his arm around her shoulder. Her other hand wrapped around his waist.

“You’re surprisingly strong for a woman.” The male commented. Y/N sent him a glare.

“And you’re surprisingly weak for a man.” She shot back. Beomgyu felt blood rush to his cheeks.

“Fair enough.” He muttered.

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Come on. It’s too dangerous to be out here at this hour.”

And with that, they headed off.

taglist: @usuallyunlikelyfox @xylatox @the-car-in-ikily

[starbluud]

i went ahead and decided to make a taglist for nothing but arteries and dirt (your flowers still grow in my veins). let me know if you’d like to join!! :))

[starbluud]

— NOTHING BUT ARTERIES AND DIRT (YOUR FLOWERS STILL GROW IN MY VEINS)

masterlist.

PAIRING. prince!beomgyu x farmer!f!reader

TW. cursing. mentions of death/execution. blood and injury. slight violence. death threats. attempted forced marriage. hunting traps. hunting. mentions of animal death. mentions of parental death. alcohol usage. illness. incarceration. reader has a little brother named max. i’ll go in further detail with every chapter.

GENRE. fluff. angst. royalty!au. fantasy!au.

SUMMARY. choi beomgyu, the current prince and future king of blue hour grove, craves a change — something with substance. he yearns for something to break the monotony of his repetitive lifestyle, where he’s confined to the castle, preparing to rule for when his father steps down. all he’s ever known are books, proper etiquette, and unbearably dull balls and meetings. just a taste of something new — that’s all he asks.

so, when a chance finally arises to experience the bustling village beyond the tall white walls he’s grown to despise, he doesn’t hesitate to take it. now on the run and new to this unfamiliar world, a certain farmer piques his interest. as he breaks down this shield she has up, she begins to show him what it truly means to live. yet, with the royal family on the hunt for the missing heir, it’s only a matter of time before his dreams come crashing down.

MIXTAPE. soldier, poet, king, the oh hellos. welcome home, son, radical face. king and lionheart, of monsters and men. skinny love, bon iver. michigan, the milk carton kids. dear wormwood, the oh hellos. ghost towns, radical face. featherstone, the paper kites. wasteland, baby!, hoizer. the night we met, lord huron. white winter hymnal, fleet foxes.

NOTES. hello! here’s a little masterlist i made for this series. i guess it’s a series lol. anyway, everything is pretty much identical to each other chapter-wise, but i suck at making things aesthetic. sorry if it gets confusing. you can find all the chapters and such here. i might make a taglist as well in the future if you’d like. let me know what you think. <3

TABLE OF CONTENTS.

CHAPTER ONE. to be loved (what a sick feeling)

CHAPTER TWO. a healing touch (enough to kill me gently)

CHAPTER THREE. fragile mornings (shaped by your calloused hands)

CHAPTER FOUR. tba.

if your name’s in white, it won’t let me tag :((

taglist: @usuallyunlikelyfox @xylatox @the-car-in-ikily

[starbluud]

your writing is really pretty :] loved the beomgyu x reaper au

aw thank you bb!! <33

i’m glad you enjoyed the reaper au. it was definitely my favorite to write. i never wrote for txt or beomgyu before that, so im happy everyone’s been enjoying it so far. :]

take care of yourself ✨

[starbluud]

— 𝙒𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙀 𝙄 𝘼𝙈 𝘿𝙀𝘼𝘿 (𝘽𝙐𝙍𝙔 𝙈𝙀 𝙒𝙄𝙏𝙃 𝙔𝙊𝙐)

—.🌿. PAIRING. choi beomgyu x f!reaper!reader

—.🌿. TW. cursing. death. suicide. drug overdose. alcohol usage/mentions of alcohol abuse. mental health issues. trauma. mentions of animal death/cruelty. car accident.

—.🌿. GENRE. angst. fluff. reaper!au

—.🌿. NOTES. not my best work :< and not proofread. sorry </3

— IT WAS WARM.

Much like sunlight, Beomgyu felt a blanket of warmth swaddle him. A gentle breeze passed by. The passing wind danced through the strands of his wild locks, tickling his cheeks much like the blades of grass brushing against his bare arms.

He heard a distant bird call softly. The tune blended with the rustling of leaves and made a perfect, natural melody.

Brown hues fluttered open and winced at the bright sky. He blinked weakly until his vision cleared, giving him a crisp view of fluffy, white clouds. His brows furrowed slightly, creasing the smooth skin of his forehead with confusion.

He sat up and glanced around. He was in a clearing, he noted. Large and full trees towered over him and casted shadows of ruffling branches. The temperature was comfortable, not cold and not uncomfortably hot either. Wildflowers and bushes danced in the air and a flock of black birds flew overhead.

Where was he?

The last thing he remembered was his cold bathroom floor, a bloodied family photo crumpled tightly in his hand, and a bottle of cheap vodka helping him down the handful of pain killers he took. His eyes were blurry with tears and his face was blotchy from crying and the alcohol.

He sucked in a breath. He glanced down at his attire. He was in the same clothes: a wine-stained shirt and a pair of thin pajama pants.

He swallowed and exhaled softly. He felt a great absence, shoulders no longer carrying a familiar heavy weight. It was strange to feel such a thing. It was like he never knew negativity existed, much less experienced it.

He laid back down, basking in the sun’s warmth.

Wherever he was, he doesn’t know and couldn’t find it in himself to care. He was much too relieved to be free of such painful burdens to wonder about where he woke up.

Beomgyu buried his slim fingers into the ground, digging his nails into the dirt to convince himself that he was here and that this isn’t a figment of his imagination. He felt petals of white clovers crumble in his fists.

He let go and the flower bounced back up.

A few minutes went by, but it felt like hours to him. He soaked in the nature around and let it fill that hole in his heart that was usually home to despair. It was now replaced with relief.

He jumped slightly at a sudden pressure on his chest. His peeked his eyes back open and was met with a singular one back.

A black cat laid on him, one golden hue staring, examining. Its thin body vibrated with a deep purr and blinked slowly. A thin tail flicked.

He relaxed and brought a palm to run through its midnight colored fur. The feline pressed its head into his touch as his hand trailed down the valley of its spine. Beomgyu gave it a small smile.

“Seems she’s taken a liking to you.” A voice nearly made him yelp.

He shot up, causing the cat to leap down and crawl in his lap. He met the gaze of a woman and felt his cheeks redden slightly. She was ethereal, almost otherworldly in her beauty. Her features were soft and gave Aphrodite a run for her money. However, her attire was the complete opposite. She looked as if she’s came straight from a funeral: a black sweater, black pants, black boots, and a long, black jacket.

It made Beomgyu’s head tilt slightly, but he didn’t speak on it.

He peered down at the cat instead. He nodded. “Yeah.”

The stranger took a step closer and sat on the grass, putting a respectable distant between them. She looked at him, clear hues skimming over his form.

“You know why you’re here, right?” She asked.

He sighed. “Yeah.” He had an inkling.

“Okay.” She answered.

A quiet beat goes by.

“I don’t want to go just yet.” Beomgyu spoke.

She gave him a small smile, lips tugging up weakly. “That’s okay. We can wait a while.”

She watched as the cat snuggled deeper into his touch. The animal buried her head in the boy’s shirt, enjoying the affection.

“Is she yours?” He questioned.

“No,” The woman said. “She’s just another soul I’m helping along the way.”

Beomgyu looked up and caught her line of sight. “You lead animals, too?”

“Of course. Death can be scary for anything. Humans and animals.” She responded, thumb grazing a yellow dandelion. Beomgyu watched in wonder as it withered under her touch only for it to turn brown and fall.

“What happened to her?”

The woman looked at the feline and frowned. “Ran over. The driver reversed to make sure she didn’t get back up.”

Beomgyu felt his heart snap at her words. “People are cruel.”

“They are.” She agreed.

Another breeze rushed by, shaking the trees. The stranger peered around. “This is a new one. I haven’t seen a stop like this before.”

Beomgyu blinked at her. “What?”

“Your stop,” she gestured towards their surroundings, “it’s unique. In all my existence and centuries of guiding souls, I haven’t seen one quite like this. It’s nice.”

“What’s a stop?” He questioned.

“It’s a… holding place.” She said. “It’s somewhere comforting, sometimes even important. Each one is specialized for the next soul ready for pick up. It’s a place where the newly deceased waits until I arrive to lead them on.” She explained, hair swaying with the breeze. “I’ve seen houses, beaches, parks covered in thick layers of snow… but I haven’t seen one that’s anywhere similar to this.”

Beomgyu bit down on his lip. He wondered what his brother’s was like. Was it his childhood home? Was it the skatepark they always went to? Was it the city?

That sense of guilt that wasn’t there now flooded back, making his gut churn.

Did Death help him? Did she do the same for Soobin as she was doing for Beomgyu now?

His nose began to burn and his lash line filled with sudden tears. He tried to force them away, but had no luck. He took in a wavered breath. “Did you—“

“I did.” She spoke, knowing what he was trying to ask. “He was calm and knew where he was and what was happening. For people so young, it’s hard to accept that they died. But Soobin,” Beomgyu held back a wince at his name, “he understood and was okay with that.”

A few tears slipped down his pale cheeks. “It’s my fault he came to you so early. I fucking killed him.” He nearly whimpered. He tried to keep his tone steady.

The scene will forever be burned into his memory. He recalled the panic flooding his veins as he slammed against the break petals, only for it to fail. The icy feeling of the truck headed towards them stuck to him like glue. He can still feel the impact of the airbag knocking the wind out of him.

And he can still remember Soobin lying against the dashboard, eyes lifeless and the blood dripping from his nose smeared across his mouth and chin.

Death shook her head quickly, bringing him back to the present. “No.” She said, voice strong like stone. “No, it isn’t your fault, Beomgyu. It was simply just his day. Everything has one, but it pains me to know you’re the one who witnessed it.”

He met her eyes, his own now red-rimmed and slowly swelling. He sniffled. “But I was the one driving.”

“I know.” She stated and scooted a little closer. “But I also know the breaks went out. And I know that semi truck came from nowhere. There wasn’t anything you could do. His death isn’t your fault.”

“How do you know about that?”

“Because I was there. I’m always there when a death happens.” She hummed with a light shrug. “Like I was with yours.”

Beomgyu gulped. “You were?”

“Of course.” She replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I sat next to you when you took those pills. I hugged you while you cried your brother’s name and I held you when you died. I was always there. You needed comfort. I didn’t want you to be alone during your final moments.”

Another pause went by. Beomgyu hiccuped yet pretended it didn’t happen. He continued to scratch the cat’s neck.

“You’re kind.” He spoke hoarsely.

“Thank you.” She smiled, placing an ice cold hand over his spare one and gave it a light squeeze. She went to pull away, but found the boy’s fingers quickly lace with hers. “My sister, Life, is incredibly beautiful.” She began. “She’s creative and forms her creations with much love, but she’s careless. Vicious, even. When she creates, she also throws away. That’s where I come in to pick up the shattered pieces and lead them to our mother, Light. She decides what to do with you then.” She explained. “With the tenderness she makes you all with, humans aren’t born with anger bred into their hearts. It’s Life’s treatment mostly. She becomes neglectful and bored. I think that’s why people turn out to be bitter and mean, but my job is to show them the kindness they haven’t experienced since they were created. They’re just dealt difficult cards. I don’t want to bring them any more malice.”

“Soobin,” Beomgyu started, attempting to wipe his tears away with his shoulder. He didn’t want to let go of her being that kept him grounded, almost like letting go would mean this isn’t real. None of it was. Tears kept falling. “Where’d he go? What did your mom do to him?”

“Last I heard, he was on the road. He likes to travel rather than to stay stationary. He comes back to check in from time-to-time, though.” She responded. She made sure to catch Beomgyu’s sight. “He’s been asking about you.”

He felt his chest tighten. “What?”

She nodded. “He has. Every time he sees me, he asks me about you.” She saw a look of something unreadable in his eyes. It seemed like a mess of hope, sadness, relief, and a little bit of fear. “He doesn’t blame you, you know?”

“He doesn’t?”

“No. That’s actually one of the first things he told me. That when I speak to you, I’m to say what happened to him wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t even the truck driver’s. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

She watched Beomgyu nod along with her words. A few stray tears fell and soaked into the dirt they sat on. “I-I don’t think I can ever face him again.” He muttered.

Death came closer, their knees brushing against each other with each small movement. She put their tangled hands in her lap. She ran a finger down the veins running below his knuckles. She sighed and Beomgyu was quick to catch the small cloud slip past her lips. “He’s excited to see you. Though he probably hoped it wouldn’t have been so soon. He talked about you and your mutual friends a lot.”

“What’d you tell him? That I became an alcoholic because I couldn’t handle the guilt of being the reason why he died?” The boy pondered sarcastically.

“No. I leave details like that out. The After is a place where negativity is prohibited. I abide by the law proudly.” She stated. “But he knew you were struggling. Even if I didn’t tell him you were. He knew.”

“I know. He’s always been a perceptive person.” Beomgyu spoke. “What…” He trailed off. “What was his stop like?”

Death hummed. “Cold.” She replied. “And warm. It was snowing outside. Practically a blizzard. He was in an old house and wrapped in a fuzzy blanket. He was sitting on a couch next to a fireplace and Christmas lights decorated the houses across the street. He was staring at them through a window.”

“You said he was calm.” He recalled. “But was he scared?”

“Everything’s scared of dying, Beomgyu. To exist is to survive. It’s normal for souls to be scared when they first see me. So, in a way, he was.” She stated, the truth dripping from her words. “Fear’s normal. It’s expected given the situation, but it was surprising how he accepted where he was so willingly. I’ve been doing this since your kind was created and every single soul I’ve lead on had never been so fast to understand where they were and be okay with it.”

She turned towards the clouds and watched as they floated along. She gave Beomgyu’s hand another soft squeeze. That made him look at her. “He’s okay now. He’s not mad. He’s not hurt or in any pain. In fact, last I heard, he was preparing for another trip. Said he wanted to make it to the other side of the After and back.” A grin tugged at her lips. “Little does he know there’s no other side. The After’s plane is infinite, but I didn’t want to burst his bubble. It’ll be nice for him to explore some more.”

“You promise?” He whispered after a moment. He was quiet and if Death didn’t strain to hear it, she would’ve missed it. “You promise he’s not upset at me?”

“I promise.” She nodded. “You’ll see for yourself if you don’t believe me.”

“Do you know what would happen to me? When I see Light?”

“No. Everyone lived different lives, made different decisions, and had different outcomes. But you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. Light knows kindness, even if the souls have flaws. Nothing’s perfect. Mistakes are made. Pain is experienced. That’s the cost of living, but just because you do things for yourself, it doesn’t make you a bad person. As long as you were nice to those around you and never willingly sought out violence or misfortune for others, you’ll be fine.”

Beomgyu bit down on the skin of his bottom lip, teeth digging in until the subtle taste of iron flooded his tongue. The cat in his lap peered up at him. Gold and brown met and it was as if the feline was silently telling him that everything the reaper next to him stated was true. He watched as she got up, back bent in an arch as she stretched, and leaped down.

She trotted over towards the woman and rubbed her side against the fabric of her pants. The animal purred. Death smiled and ran the digits of her free hand through the fur.

“I think she’s ready to leave now.” Beomgyu stated softly.

“We don’t have to leave just—“

“I think I’m ready to go, too.” He locked eyes with Death. Though his still looked swollen and bloodshot, they crinkled at the small grin on his lips.

She looked at him. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I want to go home.” He responded.

Death mirrored his expression and gave his palm another squeeze. “Alright.” She said and stood, helping the boy up. As soon as he got to his feet, he latched onto her tightly. His arms wrapped around her shoulders and held her close. He buried his face into the icy skin of her neck. Another couple tears fell.

She recuperated almost instantly, limbs circling around his waist. She felt his body shake.

“Thank you.” He muttered into her hair. He sniffled and pulled back a bit, resting his forehead against hers.

She chuckled. “I’m just doing my job.”

He shook his head but didn’t comment any further.

Death reached up and used the sleeve of her sweater to wipe at his sticky cheeks. “We should get going, Beomgyu. Someone’s waiting for us.”

“Okay.”

His iron grip went to her hand again. She lead him away, exiting the clearing and following a blinding light hidden deep between the trees. The cat followed closely behind.

And for the first time in a long, long while, Beomgyu slowly started to forgive himself.

[starbluud]

— 𝘽𝙇𝙀𝙀𝘿 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝘽𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙆 𝙈𝙀 (𝙄’𝙇𝙇 𝘿𝙊 𝙄𝙏 𝘼𝙇𝙇 𝙁𝙊𝙍 𝙔𝙊𝙐)

—.🌿. PAIRING. yang jungwon x gn!reader

—.🌿. TW. cursing. kms and kys jokes. reader is weird but that’s just their love language. randy marsh being the loml. jungwon calling the reader autistic (out of love). idk prob more.

—.🌿. GENRE. fluff. crack?. !smau.

—.🌿. NOTES. i made another one of these. they’re fun lmao. hope you like it!! <3

[starbluud]

— 𝙒𝙄𝙏𝙃 𝘼 𝘽𝙇𝙀𝙀𝘿𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝙍𝙏 (𝙋𝙇𝙀𝘼𝙎𝙀 𝙎𝘼𝙔 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙈𝙀 𝙏𝙊𝙊)

—.🌿.PAIRING. park sunghoon x gn!reader

—.🌿.TW. cursing. suicide jokes. name calling (affectionately). idk.

—.🌿.GENRE. fluff. crack?. smau!

—.🌿.NOTES. i’ve never done this before nor have i ever written for enhypen so plz be nice :). let me know if you like these and i might make some more? idk. anyway i hope you enjoy!! AND IGNORE THE TIME,, ITS THE SAME ON EVERY ONE AND I DIDNT NOTICE UNTIL AFTER I MADE THESE LMAO

[starbluud]

— 𝙒𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙀 𝘿𝙄𝘿 𝙔𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝙎𝙋𝙄𝙉𝙀 𝙂𝙊? (𝙄 𝙆𝙉𝙊𝙒 𝙄’𝙑𝙀 𝙂𝙊𝙏 𝙉𝙊𝙉𝙀)

—.🌿. PAIRING. hwang hyunjin x f!reader

—.🌿. TW. cursing. violence. murder. death. blood and injury. gore. severe ptsd. heavy trauma. mental health issues. animal death. use of guns and knives. hint of suicide (hardly there tbh.) slight mentions of an afterlife? reader being a bit of a bitch but she’s just stressed tf out. arguing. just another heavy one.

—.🌿. GENRE. tlou!au. angst. slight fluff.

—.🌿. NOTES. this is the first one i’m rewriting from the works i made previously. i apologize for it not being the best, especially since the ending felt way too rushed but it is what it is. there's also a lot of going for the neck in this. idk why its just an easy part to strike ig. anyway, like i mentioned in my last fic, chan and minho are still roughly 10 years older than the rest for plot purposes. other than that, i hope you enjoy!! :))

—THE SOUND OF waves echoed off concrete. the water violent as its tune bounced around the empty parking garage, leaving a faint twang of salt in the air. it masked the scent of rain. the familiar musk of wet dirt and stone was nowhere to be found.

y/n’s hands shook slightly, gun weighing a thousand times more than normal. her grasp was tight and left little imprinted diamonds on her skin. it matched the grip of her weapon, fingers growing antsy and nervous for the trigger.

she stared off into the distance. she noted how the rough tides and the murky grey of the overhead storm blended together, the occasional flash of lightning brightening the bleak clouds. she swallowed thickly.

“our best bet is to be sneaky.” she heard han state from behind her, her back facing the group as they planned for their next course of action. “we don’t know who could be in there. we don’t know how many there are and we don’t know where they could be hiding. we can’t go in there looking for a fight we aren’t ready for.”

y/n felt several pairs of eyes burn her back. it was obvious who han was talking about, making her grit her teeth.

“as of right now, chan’s our main priority. we know he knows abby is held up here," he pointed towards the red 'x' crossing over the birdseye image of the seattle seafront aquarium. "so it’s safe to assume he’s headed that way if he’s not there already.” he motioned to the markers of interstate numbers, flattening the paper out slightly over the hood of an abandoned car. “going along highway 80, if we stick to that route, it’s a straight shot there. we could make it in a few hours max. at least by sundown.”

“what about boat?”

the voice of y/n caused the group to peer up, surprised by her voice after being silent for so long. she turned around and crossed her arms over her damp raincoat.

changbin’s brows furrowed. “what do you mean?”

“the water.” she gestured out. “it's the quickest between the two. if we find one by the coastline, we could make it there and back by dusk.” she shrugged. “besides if we’re trying to be sneaky, it’s a lot better this way. we can come from behind. they won’t expect that. and with the highway, we’re out in the open and completely vulnerable. it’ll blow our cover."

han frowned and looked out past her, eyeing the angry sea. he glanced back and solemnly shook his head. “i’m sorry, y/n. it’s too risky, especially with this storm coming in. we could be thrown overboard and we’d be fucked then. besides, i.n. and felix can’t swim. it’s too dangerous.”

“then i can go.” she stepped forward. “it’s better than gambling all our lives.”

“absolutely not.” felix cut in.

“i’ll be fine. come on, hyunjin,” she peered over at her boyfriend. he looked at her and gnawed on the skin of his lip. his face was twisted in a mix of disapproval and unease. “you agree with me, right?”

he sucked in a breath and swallowed. “i’m sorry, but han’s right. it’d be reckless.”

a humorless laugh sent shivers down the group’s spine. “you fucking serious?” the bitter smile she had flipped into a scowl, hues aflame with a sense of betrayal. “abby could be over there as we fucking speak!”

“and i understand that, but chan—“ han was instantly shut down.

a look sharper than any blade was pointed at him, to all of them. “don’t you fucking dare.” she growled, tone dripping with venom. “don't you dare say you understand because you don’t. none of you do.” their backs stiffened when they met her gaze. “you weren't there! you didn’t see what she did to him! what they all did! you didn’t see the way they beat him until he couldn’t get up, or move, or to EVEN FUCKING SPEAK! his knee was literally blown out and they just kept beating him over and over and over until the only thing left of his head was goddamn brain matter!” her chest heaved with staggered breaths. cheeks flushed red and eyes wild, she continued ripping into these boys. “and you didn’t see him die. you weren’t pinned down. you weren’t kicking, or screaming, or crying, or fighting as they beat his head in with a fucking golf club! you didn’t see the way it broke through his fucking skull and you didn’t see the way he just laid there and accepted what was going to happen! so don't say you understand because you fucking don’t!”

a beat passed by, no one willing to make a sound.

y/n exhaled after a moment. “i’m not trying to play the ‘my trauma’s worse than yours’ game. i know you all lost someone important to you as well, but this is the best chance we got.”

silence.

“so, i’m going after abby.” she said, meeting each of their eyes. “whether or not you do, that’s your choice. but don’t you forbid me of mine.”

"y/n-" she heard felix start, but turned, not giving him time to voice his concerns. she hurried for the exit, ignoring the quick flash of lightning illuminating the wet streets and the roll of thunder that followed.

she refused to acknowledge the distant shouts of her name when she met the chill of icy rain against her skin.

yet, just as she was starting toward the coast, a soft hand caught her shoulder. she was turned and met the eyes of hyunjin. they flooded with a sense of panic and heartbreak, making the anger she still held onto extinguish instantly.

"y/n," he shook his head. "love, please don't do this." he begged.

y/n sighed, licking her chapped lips. "i can't." her voice was soft, carrying a faint twist of desperation that nearly got lost in a passing wind. "i can't, hyunjin. you know this. i need to find her."

"and we will. we will and we'll make sure abby pays for what she and the rest of her friends did." he reassured. "but you can't go this alone. it'd be careless."

"i don't care." she was quick with her words and the tone she spoke it with made his chest tighten.

his brows furrowed. "but, i do." he watched her jaw clench. "please. we- we can find a boat or another way or just something-"

"and have the possibility of letting her get away?" y/n exasperated. "fat fucking chance."

he let out a shaky exhale. "then i'm coming with you." he spoke.

he watched her eyes harden, pretty e/c hues he's grown to love so much fall a few shades darker.

"no you're not." she frowned, feeling the stray droplets of rain trail down her damp skin. "you're not. you're staying here where it's safe."

"i'm not letting you go alone. i can't and i won't-"

"i'm not gonna risk you getting killed, especially since we don't know what we're walking into." y/n jumped in, watching the pain in hyunjin's face morph into desperation. "don't fight me on this."

"and you expect me to just let you walk straight into your grave?" he exasperated, brows pulled up in bewilderment. "you said it yourself, we don't know what's waiting for us and that includes you." he points towards her. "and you think you basically sacrificing yourself is gonna do anything except just cause more bloodshed? you bursting in there ready to kill anything on impulse will not only get you killed but could get the rest of us, too. it's selfish and careless and would lead to minho's death to be for nothing. so stop acting like you're the only one dealing with problems and think about how your selfishness will affect us, especially since you can't seem to get your goddamn emotions under control."

with each word slipping past hyunjin's lips, the more y/n's face would fall. a frown was painted on her features, cheeks flushed from the cold rain and the embarrassment of being called out by the person she loves most in the world. what he said stung and bled and made the ache that was always present in her chest grow until it nearly hurt to breathe.

her eyes fluttered at him, lashes forcing her tears in place. no, she will not cry. not now. not until her job is done.

her jaw clenched and dug her nails into the palm of her hand. "then go back to jackson." she growled, using a tone that made hyunjin's face drop. "if you're so worried about you or the rest of the guys dying, then go back home. i've said it before and i'll say it again: i'm going after abby whether you like it or not, whether you join me or not. i don't care what happens or if i die because i'm not letting that bitch get by with what she's done. i'll do whatever it takes. so since i'm selfish, go back home."

he shook his head, feeling a surge of regret pool in his stomach. "no, y/n, i-i di-"

"i said to go back home, hyunjin. take the guys and go home. i'm not fucking asking." she snapped.

"b-but-"

"go hyunjin!" she barked, watching him wince from the anger he saw boiling in her voice. "fucking leave!"

she saw him take a half step back, ignoring the pain that flashed in his eyes from the strike of nearby lightning. she bit the inside of her cheek, the familiar twinge of metal seeping to her tongue that gave her a sick sense of comfort, but held her ground.

she smothered the guilt boiling in her gut from the sight of hyunjin's eyes glistening with tears with the rage pumping in her veins. so, she turned, not giving the man who held her heart in his hands a spare glance as she headed deeper into the abandoned city.

hyunjin swallowed thickly and blinked, feeling a stray tear fall to blend with the rain soaking his skin. he stayed still with his feet made of lead and unable to move. he was left there, standing in the pouring rain in a wasteland of skyscrapers and ghosts as he watched the very woman he'd die for leave, not knowing if this was her last day.

he prayed to god it wasn't.

the ground shook under her boots. a roll of thunder roared overhead that was soon followed by a flash of light. it illuminated the maze of seattle. tall buildings were left bare and forgotten. ivy and moss clung to their walls, the planet slowly taking back what was once hers until it would crumble.

the rain continued on. it was heavy and cold, soaking y/n's clothes and chilling her to the core. she let out a breath. a small cloud slipped past her lips.

the way to the coastline wasn't eventful and y/n hoped it would stay that way. she avoided the open, sticking to the outskirts and backroads to the shore until she could feel the burn of salt in her nose.

angry waves lapped upon the sand, foaming at the teeth before pulling out only to do it once again. it was as if nature itself was begging for slaughter.

however, y/n wasn't focused on the anger the earth portrayed but was instead fixated on the pier standing strong against the brutal swings the water had to offer. the sight of a lonely motorboat was left tied to a pillar, rocking in solitude.

a surge of excitement made y/n's chest leap. it should be fairly simple from here on out: get the boat running, head to the aquarium, kill anything that gets between her and abby, and then abby herself. it was easy and an opening so perfect was placed right in front of her.

however, just as her boot sunk into the grit of sand, a mix of several voices approached. her breath hitched and cursed quietly to herself before darting behind a nearby bush.

their words were quiet at first, yet gained more clarity the closer they came. by their tones, y/n could deduce they were all men. the realization made another swear fall softly from her lips. she peeked around, making sure to keep her figure masked by leaves.

"i'm so fucking done with this job, man. next time issac wants someone to do his dirty work, imma tell him to shove it up his ass." she heard one say. he was blonde, y/n noted, rather average height and lean under the jacket he was wearing, one that matched the other two. they must be from the same community.

"can you stop fucking bitching for five goddamn minutes, rick? i'm tired of hearing you whine, makes me wanna shoot myself." the tallest of the group, brown hair and a scruffy beard, pressed. he used a hand to pinch his nose.

"piss off. like you weren't doing the same thing on the way here." the shortest detested, following the other two up the dock.

y/n could feel her jaw clench. they couldn't have that boat, not under her watch. she swallowed thickly before sneaking forward, remaining low to the ground and gun cocked.

the trio was too busy preparing for the trip back and bickering over how they weren't getting paid enough for such shitty jobs. this gave y/n an outlet to strike. before any of the men knew it, the tallest was forced down, taking a blow to the back of his right knee.

y/n's arm wrapped tight around his neck with the barrel of her glock pressed harshly to his temple. the man in her grasp shouted obscenities, causing the others to pull their own weapons.

"the boat," she said, nodding towards it. "i want the boat."

"drop it, kid." the blonde ordered. he had his own revolver pointed toward her. "don't be stupid."

"i want the boat." she ignored him. "i'm not fucking asking. give it to me and you'll live."

the other snickered, a smile reeking of smugness painted across his face. he dropped his gun. "bullshit." he sneered. the look in his eyes made y/n's jaw clench. "a fucking kid like you doesn't have the balls to-"

BANG!

his body fell back, a hole the size of a golf ball replacing the space of a left blue eye. y/n didn't blink when she pulled the trigger nor when the back spray of his death hit her skin.

"josh!" the man in her grasp screamed, watching his friend's body slide limply into the violent waters. a pool of red crept up and swallowed the fresh corpse.

the sight of their friend being gunned down sent the other two into overdrive. the man who struggled in y/n's hold was able to throw an elbow backward, having it meet her nose with a sickening crack. the force caused her to fall and land on her back, her bag barely doing much to cushion her.

she wheezed, feeling the wind knock out of her lungs and nose surely broken. "fuck," she forced out. blood seeped from her nostrils. crimson painted the skin of her lips and dyed the whites of her teeth, tastebuds filled with iron.

a cough racked her body just as her foot was caught. y/n's hues blew wide in panic, the guy who bashed her face pulled her towards him.

"you fucking bitch!" he cursed, yanking her up in a position much like the one he was in.

y/n kicked and swung and tried to wiggle her way out of his limbs. yet, it was bound to fail. compared to him, she was nothing more than the size of a child. the curve of his elbow came around and locked tight around her throat before squeezing.

y/n gasped. her airway was being cut off.

"imma fucking gut you! watch you bleed out!" the man growled in her ear.

black spots were beginning to cloud her vision. they faded in and out and picked up the faster she panted in fear. however, just as the darkness was going to take her completely, the sight of the man's other hand came into view.

she didn't think and instead bit down. she caught his thumb between her teeth and pulled, snapping through bone and pulling the meat until his finger separated from his body.

a cry of agony filled the air as she spat out the removed digit. she could feel the heat of his blood dribble down her chin. she hit the floor, palm coming around to soothe the pain in her neck with violent coughs racking her body.

"holy shit!" the blonde exclaimed, dumbfounded from watching his friend's hand get ripped into. she took his shock and used it against him, climbing to her feet and charging his way. she slammed into him and dug her shoulder into his gut, causing them both to fall and the revolver to fly from his hands.

she was quick when she pulled a switchblade from her pocket. she drove it down, slamming the knife deep into the flesh of his throat. she watched him gasp. his hands came up to wrap around hers, staring at her in a sense of fright.

he coughed, vermillion splattering across y/n's already stained face. "rot in hell." y/n spat and yanked out her weapon, only to drive it back down into his chest.

the blonde tried to cry out but had his voice lost in a gurgle. it was only seconds until y/n watched his eyes roll back before falling limp.

she stood and hurriedly grasped his forgotten gun. she walked towards the only other person left alive, watching him shake as he tried to stop the bleeding of his missing thumb.

she had it pointed at him, ready to pull the trigger until something caught her eye. she paused, feeling her heart skip at the sight of an all too familiar jacket.

the windbreaker he wore was dark. it wasn't anything fancy, yet sported a patch on the upper part of the right sleeve. an upside-down triangle was stitched into the material, a biting wolf staring back at her with the letters w.l.f sitting above it.

"wlf," y/n muttered. "you're a fucking wlf!"

the guy didn't respond.

"abby anderson." she stated. "where is she?"

“i-i don’t know,” he muttered

y/n snarled and drilled her switchblade into the meat of his thigh, causing him to scream out.

“where is she?” she repeated.

the man shook his head. his chest rose up and down at a rapid pace. "i-i don't know! we work in separate units! the-the last i heard about her was that she ran off! only a few people know where she went!”

y/n grit her teeth. “who?”

he shook his head, tears swelling in his eyes from the deep ache in his leg.

a twist of the knife ripped a cry of anguish from his throat. y/n’s grip tightened on the blade, turning it some more until he caved in.

“owen!” he shouted. “o-owen moore! that’s who she ran off after! m-maybe manny alvarez knows where she is, too!”

y/n’s darkened hues narrowed at the male whimpering by her hand. she made a mental note of the two names and stood, ripping her weapon from his skin.

another yelp as he reached for his wound, hand barely grazing the puncture before a shot rang out.

he fell back with wide eyes and unmoving limbs. a bullet hole was blown into his skull, splattering grey and red brain matter all over the sandy beach. y/n dropped her hand, revolver heavy in her grasp as she tucked it into her thigh holster.

“fucking cunts.” she hissed with a wince, a strike of pain shooting up her broken nose.

she left the fresh corpses to rot and lay forgotten. she grabbed the rope that had the boat tied in place and pulled out the knot and jumped into it.

it took a few tries for the motor to start, spurting before roaring to life. a small smile crept its way up to y/n’s lips, happy to note she was one step closer to her end goal. now situated and ready, she kept the same phrase echoing over and over in her mind.

i'm coming for you, abby.

as much as she hated to say it, han was right about one thing: the waters were deadly. the tides were vicious and craved death, nearly sending y/n over more times than she could count. the fact she was able to make it to her destination was due to pure determination, and if not determination, then by dumb luck.

she couldn't care either way honestly as she was finally here. she stood out in the open lobby. the walls were painted a brilliant blue, matching the colors of a nice spring day. abandoned stands were left forgotten. a snack bar, souvenirs, and an information desk remained a distant memory to those who lived before the outbreak decades ago.

little cartoon pictures of sea animals smiled at y/n the deeper she walked in. she recognized several of them from learning in school though much of her education was used to prepare the new generation for survival. the small fraction of science class she had helped her with identifying such creatures. she noted a mother otter, her baby much smaller laying on her belly. there was a dolphin, eyes unnaturally bright for an animal painted on dry wall. there were clams, jellyfish, and octopi hanging around. there was even a bronze statue of a sea lion balancing a ball on the tip of its nose.

what caught her eye the most was the giant blue whale sculpture that hung overhead. it was massive and hung by wires drilled into the tall ceiling. the sight made her frown.

everything left behind was covered in thick layers of dust. plants made it home, crawling up the walls and swung from the lonely creature strung high. the windows were foggy from dirt and the air held a staleness that could make a throat go dry in seconds.

once a vibrant place, loved by many and cherished deeply, turned into a graveyard of past memories. y/n grew up years after the outbreak began. this new wave of teens and kids much like her would never have the luxury of experiencing such excitement, not with the lurking shadow of death standing behind them.

she felt pity. pity for those like her and pity for those who weren't. the ones who never got too experience and the ones who had that were then forced to let it go. it was unfair to everyone.

y/n shook her head and wielded such a sad thought away. there's no point in grieving what wasn't hers to grieve. instead she headed for the stairs that lead to the upper floor. there was a tunnel when she reached the top. it was dim in the darkened building, yet had enough light provided by the empty tanks running along the sides.

she trekked through, eyes and ears open for threats that could be hidden. she noted how similar it was to a maze, hallways opening to offer another route of entertainment and ones that closed off, pushing an audience of excited children and cheerful parents to the next attraction.

she peered around in curiosity. she wondered what happened to the animals that were left when the staff disappeared. were they dead? probably. it was a disheartening answer, but one that rang true. it was much better than living during a time when the earth slowly began to kill off what was poisoning it and remained neglected and alone. that way whatever afterlife they go to, they'd be cared for the way they should've been.

the sudden sound of clicking pulled y/n out of mind. it was tapping against linoleum, like claws against the floor.

a blink of an eye and y/n felt herself be knocked back, a set of baring teeth snapping towards her. a large german shepard stood over her. it was large in size, sporting a black vest with the same patch as the men from the dock.

the dog must've picked up on her scent, deeming her an intruder. the ears were pinned back flat against its head and hues blown wide with anger from its territory being threatened. its nails dug into the material of y/n coat, piercing small holes into the sleeve of the arm she used to hold the canine off.

"fuck!" she cried, dodging the fangs that hungered for her blood. she panted for breath, anxiety filling her core as she tried to kick the dog back. no use, it'd jump back once again.

it barked and growled and echoed off the walls. she prayed no one around could her the commotion. it'd just blow her cover.

she was able to pull her blade from her pocket, sticking it there when she left for the aquarium back on the shore. she flipped it open before jamming the blade into the side of the snapping animal's neck. a yelp was heard before the force that was fighting back lightened. the dog slumped to the ground, a small pool of blood darkening it's caramel fur.

y/n gasped and sprung to her feet. she held her knife out fearful it would reanimate just to eat her alive once more.

her shaky palm lowered once she deemed it not a threat anymore. it laid lifeless, tongue flopping out the side of its jowl, and stared into the dark pool of nothing.

a pang of guilt twisted in her stomach only to squash it just as fast as it came. survival is all it boils down to, no matter the circumstance, and she hoped the dog's barking didn't challenge that.

thankfully, it seemed as if it didn't as the sound of muffled and distant voices became known. they sounded hushed and she couldn't make out what was said. so, she followed it. whether or not they knew she was there, it didn't stop her of what she came to do.

she followed the sound to two metal double doors. staff only, it said. y/n ignored it and slowly popped it open. she was sure to keep it quiet and softly shut it behind her. she could see two others in the room. they stood off in the middle and didn't seem to notice the girl who ducked down behind a nearby desk.

"people don't come back from that island." a woman spoke. she had short hair and tired eyes, staring at the dirty blonde man across from her with plea. her voice shook.

"how many times has abby risked her life for you?" he spit back.

a familiar name caught y/n's attention. she swallowed and reached to her thigh holster, pulling out her glock.

"she chose this. i'm not fucking going there."

"then don't!" the man barked. "go back."

a beat went by. y/n watched the female take a step back, a sense of betrayal written heavy on her tired features. then, she spoke. "fuck you, owen."

owen. owen moore. this must be the guy the wlf mentioned on the beach. the person abby went after.

the woman turned to leave, but stopped when she was met with a gun to the face. y/n stood, finger resting on the trigger.

"hands up." y/n ordered, tone strong. the two followed, showing her their palms. "where's abby?" she asked.

she noticed a small twitch in owen's hues. it screamed familiarity. "you're that girl from jackson." he remembered her. he remembered her screams and her cries. he burned her threats to memory as he watched, letting the anderson girl beat and kill one of the only people y/n considered family. the man who took her in and traveled across state lines to the fireflies. the man who was once cold but turned warm. the man who saved her life more time than she could count. the man she considered her brother, and owen let that happen.

y/n ignored his comment. "tell me where she went." she pressed.

"how do we know you won't kill us?" the woman questioned.

"give her what she wants and we're dead."

y/n shook her head at their claims. "you guys can survive this. i just need her."

"bullshit." owen snapped, face hardening.

y/n didn't answer but pulled out a folded paper from her back pocket, flipping it open. it was a map. "you." she pointed at the woman with her weapon. "come here."

she remained still.

"fucking get over here!" y/n snapped, feeling a sense of rage fill her bones from her instructions being ignored.

the stranger obeyed and took timid steps over. she kept her eye on the gun.

"point to where she is. and then you." she gestured towards the man. "it better fucking match up."

"okay," the lady breathed. her voice shook violently. her response made owen call out.

"what're you doing?!"

"she's probably dead anyway." she bit back.

owen shook his head and took steps over. "it isn't worth it-"

"stop." y/n stated. owen continued on.

"we can talk about--"

"back the fuck up!" y/n growled, nearly pulling the trigger. he froze in his tracks, having the barrel mere inches away from his face. she glanced back at the woman. "point to where she is." she ordered again.

no move. no sound. nothing. "i said fucking point!" y/n snapped, now aiming towards the woman.

as soon as she moved, owen dashed forward. he took her hand and tried to wiggle the weapon from her grasp. her grip was like iron from his prying fingers. y/n pulled back a fist and swung. she could feel her knuckles meet his nose with a force that cracked it. it was surely broken much like the state hers is in now.

as soon as he let go, y/n shot. a bang echoed off the bare walls and rang violently in her ears. she watched him fall to the floor with a bullet running though his stomach.

"owen!" the other cried. y/n turned just in time to catch a dagger coming her way. the two wrestled, y/n having her gun kicked away and now fighting against the blade inching towards her neck.

y/n could feel the woman twist her. her shoulder blades were slammed against a nearby desk, allowing the woman to use both hands for strength. y/n pressed back, keeping the sharp edge from slitting her throat.

y/n decided to swing her leg out and slam her knee into the stranger's side. the impact sent the woman falling, dropping her knife on the way down. now free, y/n was able to spring forward, stealing the blade from the lady's reach and slamming it deep into the side of her neck.

y/n jumped up and reached for her gun. her hands shook with the adrenaline pumping through her system, ready to shoot in case she moved once more.

a cough pulled her away. she peered over and noticed owen's injured frame on the floor. his grey shirt now stained a deep red. gore pooled down the sides of his mouth and dripped on the ground beneath them. he was gasping, yet each breath he took was harder than the next. it was as if he was choking on his own blood and y/n hoped he was.

she walked over to him and watched as he reached out, trying to speak through gurgles.

"tell me where abby is." she demanded, aiming down at him.

he choked, unable to form coherent words. "s-she..."

y/n's brows knit together in anger. she was getting nowhere. she kneeled down and jabbed the barrel of her pistol against his throat. "where the fuck is she?" she hissed through gritted teeth.

owen's voice struggled. through his attempt to talk, only one word managed to slip past his lips. a word that took the fire burning in her and turned it to ice.

her face fell instantly and stood, making her way over toward the dead woman's body. y/n flipped her over on her back before pulling at the buttons of the thick winter jacket she had on. her breath caught.

the hoodie she had on hid a baby bump.

the sight of it made her stop. her feet were weak under her and felt her legs slowly start to give in. a familiar sensation of tightness contracted in her chest. panic flooded over her, shaking hands aiding when he fell to her knees.

"fuck..." she whispered, staring at the corpse. "oh, fuck..."

the ache in her lungs only grew. it was as if she couldn't fill them up enough to breathe, much like a heavyweight sitting on top of her. she brought her palm up and pressed against her breastbone. the only sound she could hear was a shrill ring, masking the echo of her hyperventilation. oxygen felt limited as she tugged harshly at the neckline of her jacket, hoping it would help in some way. it didn't.

however, as soon as the burn of tears met her eyes, a call of her name pulled her back to the present.

she jumped up and aimed, ready for a fight. she paused slightly, meeting the faces of her friends. soaked and shaken, they were all there: changbin, felix, han, i.n., seungmin, hyunjin, and chan. changbin and han stepped forward, scouting the room for any hidden threats.

chan was the closest to her, hands held up to show no harm. his eyes were wide with shock. he looked the same way he did when he ran off, yet now sported a gnarly gash above his left brow. otherwise, he looked relatively fine.

"hey, hey..." chan eased, watching her drop her arm. she could see them sparing glances at the scene behind her, all caused by her hand.

the sight of hyunjin's face twisted when he noticed the pregnant lady. y/n saw him take a quick breath in. she noticed them all do that, han and changbin stopping in their tracks, and sharing glances with each other.

her hues fluttered and shook her head. " i..." she whispered, "i didn't know." she broke.

she felt his hand crawl up her arm and gave it a small squeeze. "it's alright." he reassured. "come on. we need to go."

he ushered her forward, noting how hyunjin jumped to her side. his hand fell to her lower back and helped guide her out. she struggled slightly against him. "i'm sorry."

"it's okay. you're okay." she could hear felix pipe in. she saw both him and i.n. take place behind her, shielding her view of the massacre she left behind.

she felt hyunjin's touch travel up to wrap around her shoulders and pulling her close. she kept muttering the same things over and over. i didn't know. i'm sorry.

hyunjin tilted his head down and spoke softly in her ear.

"it's okay, my love. we're here now."

her leg continued to bounce, the heel of her sneaker barely grazing the floor. she was bent over with her bloodied and bruised face in her equally damaged hands, careful of her broken nose. she kept her eyes screwed shut. she was hoping the darkness flooding her vision would mask the sight that never seemed to go away.

the bodies of owen and the pregnant woman were burnt into her mind. the realization she killed not only two, but three people earlier today.

she sucked a shaky breath in and held it for a moment before exhaling. it was the same exercises felix taught her and the ones hyunjin enforced when he noticed her begin to spiral. it wasn't working this time.

the picture of her boyfriend's face flickered through her thoughts. the shock falling over his pretty features, the heartbreak pooling in his irises, and the way he froze seeing the carnage y/n committed. they were all like that.

on the way back, no one spoke a word. it was silent between them and it felt too suffocating. no one had to say anything though. nothing said could've soothed the unease surrounding them. she could sense what they felt: uncertainty, pity, nervousness, and fear. perhaps because of what they now know what she's truly capable of. wreckage. slaughter. revenge. desperation.

whatever the cause, it still felt like fire on her skin. it crawled down her spine and burned. she prayed to whatever was out there that they weren't what she thought. that her friends, her family basically, weren't scared of her.

the sound of a door caused her to jump. she peered up from her spot on the chair and saw hyunjin enter the room; a bucket, cloth, and first aid kit in grasp.

he walked over to her and crouched down, placing his things on the floor. y/n swallowed. through the dim lights of the vanity next to her, she could see the wear and tear of hyunjin's form. his shoulders were slumped, palms scarred, and lip raw.

she waited for him to speak. he didn't. he only reached out and took her dirty hand in his, using the rag dipped in water to wipe away at the red staining her flesh.

he worked slowly. his touch was soft and gentle, hardly applying any pressure to her sore knuckles. he didn't make a move to look up at her and focused on his actions instead.

that was worse than being screamed at.

a pause went by.

"i know you're mad." she stated, tone frail. "just say what you want to say."

it took a moment for him to respond. "i'm not mad, y/n." he muttered.

her brows furrowed in confusion. "you should be."

he nodded. "i should be, but i'm not." he glanced up and met her gaze. his brown hues that were once bright now dulled and decorated with dark circles. he gave her a weak smile. "i'm just disappointed."

y/n frowned. that wasn't any better either.

"what you did was dangerous, you know that right?" he paused his movements. "it was careless and dumb, and i was terrified." his face twisted in an emotion y/n couldn't pinpoint. "i was so scared of what could've happened to you. when you left, i made the guys follow your tracks and came across bodies and i was so, so scared of one of them being you."

"i know." y/n whispered with guilt eating her soul.

"my heart bleeds for you constantly," he said. "every minute of every day and to see you be so..." he tried to find his words. "so stupid with your life breaks me. if you died, i don't know what i'd do or how i'd function. you mean way too much to me to let something like that happen." he breathed before a look of regret fell on his face.

y/n watched his tongue dart out to wet his chapped lips, blistered and scarred with teeth marks. "but i did."

y/n blinked at him. "what?" she asked in disbelief.

"i..." he struggled. "i drove you away." he swallowed. "when you wanted to go across the water... you were so fixated on doing it that way, so determined, and i was scared. i-i didn't want you to go. i didn't want you to get hurt... but you weren't listening to me, to any of us."

he sniffled slightly, feeling the tears burn in his waterline. he glanced down and willed them away with a shake of the head. "and i know how you are. as much as i love how stubborn you are, it can be so challenging to get you to see the other side sometimes. i knew there was no way around it and that you were gonna do what you wanted, so i wanted to follow. all it ended in was an argument with things i never should've said." he peered up at her. "minho meant everything to you. you were with him for so long traveling across the country. he saved you and you saved him on so many occasions. he was practically your brother. he was your entire world... until your fight. i-i don't know what was said or what really happened, but you weren't the same since then, since you started to ignore him. i saw the light in you basically disappear overnight and i haven't seen it again. and- and then abby... what she did, what you saw, i cannot fathom the things you feel. the pain, the guilt, the hatred, the rage..."

y/n sat still, jaw clenching with every word her boyfriend spoke.

"you say we lost someone important too which we have, but you..." he gave her hand a squeeze. "you lost everything that day." she squeezed back. "and for me to call you selfish and to say you don't have control over your emotions, it was a fucking dick move. all you wanted was to avenge minho and I used it against you and i am so, so sorry, y/n."

y/n didn't notice the dampness on her cheeks until she felt hyunjin's thumb wipe some away. she gulped. "i-i'm sorry, too. i was completely out of line and blinded with ignorance to see that you guys were just trying to help. that you were just trying to find a plan that was the safest and i threw a bitch fit about it. i can't apologize enough about how stupid i was being."

hyunjin let out a weak chuckle. "guess we're both just assholes then, yeah?"

y/n snickered softly, nose stuffy. "yeah. guess so."

she felt his hand come up to push her damp hair from her face, raking it back with calloused fingers. "i love you, you know that right?" he muttered gently.

"i love you, too." her voice was just as low.

he leaned in and placed a kiss on her lips. the taste of forgiveness was sweet on their tongues, pushing down the bitterness of anger. they both held onto it and drank it in. it soaked into their chest and wedged itself through their bones, making a perfect place home right next to their heart. through it, a silent promise was made.

where you go, i go. no matter where.

[starbluud]

— 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙏𝙊 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙀𝙉𝘿𝙎 𝙒𝙀 𝙂𝙊 (𝙏𝙊 𝙁𝙊𝙇𝙇𝙊𝙒 𝙇𝙄𝙆𝙀 𝘼 𝘿𝙊𝙂)

—.🌿. PAIRING. hwang hyunjin x f!reader

—.🌿. TW. cursing. violence. blood and injury. gore. mental health issues. severe ptsd. flashback. heavy trauma. murder. panic attack. mentions of vomit. arguing. chan being a dick (sorry). just heaviness.

—.🌿. GENRE. tlou!au. angst. slight fluff.

—.🌿. NOTES. i had an idea to write this fic before to go along with two other of the same au i had, but it was written about a person who turned out to be a complete fuckface. i’ll come back in the future to re-write those with an actual likable person. however, this little mini series thing idk what to call it holds a very special place in my heart so i wanted to continue it, but with different people. i’ve never written for stray kids or any type of k-pop before so please bear with me if anything seems weird. another note about this piece, minho and chan are roughly 10 years older than the rest of the members. i apologize for that, but it works with the way the plot was written. anyway, i hope you enjoy! :)) btw, not proofread lmao.

— THE SUN WAS brighter today. it shone down, warm rays casting a brilliant golden hue to the fluttering field of grass. a gentle breeze passed by. its presence made stray hairs dance slightly, the strands tickling the bridge of y/n's nose. she inhaled, lungs expanding fully before letting the breath go.

she enjoyed the peace. the sound of distant birds. the smell of blooming wildflowers along the forestline. the feeling of the wind against her scarred skin. it was a moment of tranquility she was still getting used to. after spending so long on the hunt, fighting for survival and tracking one down, it felt unfamiliar. foreign almost, like she never spent a moment before basking in the blanket of silence.

her eyes finally opened.

felix always suggested a moment of calamity would help with the anxiety she carried. to stop and soak in her surroundings. it was to show she wasn't in constant danger. there was no need to step on eggshells every minute of every day, especially now since their group decided to settle down.

after chan getting shot, hyunjin taking arrows to the shoulder and lung, and y/n left beaten and bloody, they all needed a moment to relax. at least to relax as best as they could given the trauma they continue to carry.

the others resided in jackson, deciding to stay back home to help chan recover. y/n and hyunjin broke off, finding a farmhouse not too far from the community.

it was a two-story building, abandoned and forgotten since the beginning of the end of the world. the white outside paint was worn and the porch was well-loved, sporting scratch marks in the wood from used rocking chairs. the inside was open and roomy, giving them enough space to decorate it like their own. lots of windows brought in sunlight and the smell of the outside traveled through screen doors. a fence sectioned off the outgrown yard from the woods and a small barn sat outback. it housed a handful of sheep they rounded up when they first moved in and a small garden planted next to it.

it felt like home for the first time in a long fucking time. ever since minho died, walking the world without him felt empty. like she'd never find a place where she belonged again.

the thought of her brother made her swallow. she took a breath and stood, making her way toward the house and stepping through the screen door. the sound of it slamming shut caught hyunjin's attention from the kitchen.

he peeked around the wall to catch a glimpse of his girlfriend setting her flannel over the back of one of the wooden dining room chairs.

"hey," he said with a small smile, tossing the wet cloth he was using back in the bucket of warm water. the dishes could wait a moment. he walked over to her, using a hand to lean on the table.

"hey," her voice was weak. it sounded almost strained when she spoke, like she's been quiet for so long that she forgot how to talk properly. hyunjin wouldn't be surprised if she had. he noticed how having a moment to rest after chaos really brought everything out of her. the sleepless nights, the panic attacks, the anxiety, the way she interacted with everything now: it all poured out now she didn't use survival as an act to push it down.

he reached out, fingers pushing back a few baby hairs from her forehead. "you were out there a while." he said quietly. i'm worried about you.

y/n shrugged. "it's nice out." she said. don't be. i'm fine.

he forced back the words he wanted to say. i don't believe you. instead he nodded with a grin, glancing out a nearby open window. the breeze that came through blew the curtains apart lightly. "that it is." he looked back at her. "i'm thinking a salad with the stuff from the garden would be nice for dinner. cucumbers, broccoli, carrots: nice and fresh for a day like today. what do you think?"

she nodded. "sure." she spoke before slipping by him. he frowned, but bit down on his lip to hide it. he followed after her, watching as she grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water from the drinking pitcher.

"okay. i'll go put the sheep in the barn for the night and head to the garden." he explained, heading to the shoe rack next to the back door to put on a pair of his boots.

y/n sat down her glass. "i got the sheep. just go to the garden." she offered. hyunjin blinked at her.

"are you sure?" he asked, standing up. concern swam in his gut. she's been off today, more than normal and it's starting to worry him. he didn't want to leave her alone any more than he could today.

"yeah. it's fine." she reassured. "it'll take like ten minutes."

"okay." he said after a moment. "okay, yeah. holler then... if you need me." he covered his nervousness with a smile. he reached out and grabbed her hand, giving it a small squeeze. she returned it.

"i will." she said before dropping his palm. "i'll be back."

hyunjin watched as she headed out the back door, dark eyes fixated on her shrinking figure. he pulled his hand up and rubbed his right shoulder, a familiar twinge of pain spreading across the muscle. he could feel the textured skin under his shirt, bringing back the memory of seeing y/n pinned down with fists flying to both sides of her face.

he shook his head, willing the thought away before it came. he sighed before heading towards the garden.

“come on, jesse, please.” y/n begged the last sheep. jesse, although small, had a knack for making things harder than they should. a mischievous ewe of the herd, black as night with snowy spots around her face, she enjoyed making her handlers work for what they want.

thankfully this last plea led her to give in, following the others inside the barn. y/n trailed behind to make sure the sheep didn’t try to run off before leading them into the pin.

they walked in and began munching on their dinner for the night as y/n locked the enclosure. “you,” she pointed towards jesse. “you are a bitch, you know that?”

the sheep bellowed as if agreeing to the statement. the snide remark earned her an eye roll. “jackass.” y/n muttered under her breath.

she turned, ready to head back to the house when a noise caught her attention.

she looked back, the end of the barn swimming in darkness from the setting sun. despite knowing she’s in a safe place, the thought of not being alone pressed down on her chest. “hello?” she called.

no person came out. in the place instead was a lamb, little tail flicking as it tried to hide between old farm tools.

“barney? how’d you get out?” she asked herself, striding over to catch the animal.

he caught wind of her actions and ran behind a bucket and shovel, making the two smash against each other and fall.

bam!

a scene flashed behind her eyes. minho laying still on the floor, looking just how he did when she woke: bloodied, bruised, and dead. his face was swollen and crimson leaked from his vicious wounds.

the sight caused her heart to clench and her breathing to catch.

“please…” she begged, trying to focus on the sheep in front of her. he sped by, too fast for y/n to catch and headed towards the barn doors.

she followed behind, breathing rugged and hands shaking. “p-please, barney.”

the wind outside picked up slightly. what was once a gentle breeze turned violent, catching the door before slamming.

she couldn’t see. she couldn’t feel. she couldn’t hear anything over the sound of her gasping breaths. hyperventilating overtook her, unable to properly calm herself.

yet as soon as the light left, it came back through a flicker of a flashlight.

she was back here again, swaddled in a thick jacket and gloves. snow melted in her hair that sent shivers down her spine. she stood at the top of a familiar set of stairs with a white door at the bottom.

minho’s screams were on the other side, calling out to her in pain and agony. the realization that her brother was in there sent her flying. she sped down the stairs, nearly tripping and calling his name.

“minho! minho!” she screamed, trying the doorknob. it was locked.

his voice grew louder and the sound of metal hitting skin came through the wood. “no, no!” y/n shouted, trying to slam her shoulder into the door.

smacking, screaming, kicking, punching, slamming. nothing worked. it never worked.

the sound of her name being cried from his lips made her head spin in desperation. over and over and over again until she felt herself being pulled.

being yanked back to reality was never easy. where she was always felt so real. so fucking real every time she’s back at that door, but the feeling of hands on her face and shoulder and the voice of hyunjin grounded her.

“y/n! y/n!” he shook her. “breathe, love. in and out.” he pleaded, feeling his heart twist at the sight of her frantic eyes. “he’s not here, none of them are.”

y/n took a breath, feeling her lungs skip from the straining she put herself under. it was shaky in nature as she followed along with the exercises hyunjin demonstrated.

she gulped and leaned her head back against the wall. she was sat on the dirt ground, straws of hay poking her skin through the material of her jeans.

in through her nose and out through her mouth.

“i’m sorry,” she rasps, blinking back the tears that burned her eyes. “i’m sorry.”

he shook his head and settling down next to her. “no need.” he spoke softly, brushing back her hair like he did before. he was gentle with his touch, fingertips like feathers across her sweaty skin. “there’s no need to be sorry, love.”

she nodded and screwed her hues shut for a moment. his hand fell to her knee.

“you haven’t had an episode like that in a while.” he muttered, thumb grazing over her pants leg.

“yeah,” she croaked, sniffling.

“is it the same one?” he questioned, eyes tracing over y/n’s features. swollen and red hues, the irritated skin around her nose, and the puffiness of her lips from her constant biting. she looked so worn down. that hurt more than any wound could.

“it always is.” she replied.

they sat in silence for a moment longer.

“come on. let’s get you cleaned up and fed. we can go to bed early tonight.” he helped y/n to her feet, placing a small kiss to her temple.

she didn’t respond, but let hyunjin lead her back to the house after making sure the sheep, now including barney, were good until morning.

her footsteps were sluggish and heavy. to hyunjin, it felt almost like carrying a drunk person, having to help haul their body weight back home. he didn’t mind it though. he was too preoccupied with his running thoughts.

his mind trailed back to that day. gunshots rang throughout the old theater they were held up in. he hurried from his place upstairs, wincing slightly with every step from his sprained ankle, but managed to follow the sound.

the image of chan laying still when he walked through the doors sent a shiver down his spine. his friend, his older brother practically, on the ground in a pool of his own blood, gunshot running through the back of his head and knee.

he gagged. seeing someone he was so close too lay limply and lifeless, it made him sick. his hands shook as he covered his mouth, trying to fight back the bile rising in his throat. yet, he didn’t have time to dwell on either his friend nor the vomit threatening to spill once the sound of another gunshot echoed through the auditorium.

the first thought that came to mind was y/n. she wasn’t anywhere near and deep down he knew she was in the midst of the havoc.

he didn’t waste time taking the stairs, but instead hauled himself up on the stage to run through the curtains. then he saw them.

abby anderson. she was the very person that set y/n off. the very cause of minho’s death. he remembered her. she looked exactly the way y/n described. built, muscular frame, long blonde hair tied in a braid, and a look that could kill.

god, the damage she caused. he’ll never forget the way his heart sank seeing y/n’s unconsciousness figure laying next to minho’s corpse. fear struck his bones, blending with the chill of the snow stuck to his skin. dried blood coated her nose and mouth, seeping between her lips and dying her teeth red and left eye starting to swell with purpling skin.

she was still alive. the shallow breathing of her chest told him so and he’d never felt so thankful yet so selfish.

the hope in his heart burned, happy to note his girlfriend was still here, but so disgusted with himself praying she wasn’t the one dead. that’s something he’d never grow to forgive himself and every time the memory of his friend’s body flashes by, the more guilt he continues to grow.

and this moment now was an entire recreation of that day.

abby was on top of y/n. her frame much bigger and stronger than the girl she had pinned. brutal fists were coming from all angles, paining y/n’s skin crimson.

he could see it everywhere. it seeped from her nose and mouth and leaked into her eyes. she coughed and gagged, trying her best to fight back with a broken arm.

the sight of it alone, the ptsd of the day he found her knocked out, it all came flooding back. so he charged. he sprinted and slammed against abby, pushing her off of y/n’s gasping form.

she wiggled in his grasp trying to take the upper hand. he stole it, swinging back with knuckles to meet her face. punch, punch, punch, punch. over and over with a rage he never knew burned in him.

he would kill her. he wanted to kill her and he was going to.

until a sharp pain struck his left shoulder. a deep ache he’s never felt before. he paused, both abby and himself staring at his wound in astonishment.

an arrow was driven through him, a broad head tip peering through his top, sporting blood and meat. red slowly started to spread across his white shirt, expanding like the very fungus trying to kill them.

then another hit and this time was much more painful. it the right side of his upper back, piercing right between his ribs and driven into his lung. the instant taste of metal flooded his tastebuds before a violent cough racked his system, blood spilling from his lips.

he doesn’t remember much after that. other than getting pushed off with knuckles to the face, everything went black. he didn’t wake up until weeks later with y/n by his side and her arm in a split.

he shook his head, willing such a painful memory away and fell back to the present.

he spared a glance over to y/n whose face was pointed down and hands shaking like a leaf in the wind.

yeah, an early night sounds good.

the sunset of the next day was just as bright, painting the chipped white paint of the house a warm orange.

y/n frowned at the sight of a familiar horse tied to their porch. she headed forward, the rabbits for tonight’s dinner bonded with rope was tight in her hand.

she was reluctant to step inside. a well known voice spoke with a gentle ease to hyunjin. she frowned.

a small step through the screen door caught the duo’s attention. hyunjin sent her a smile from the dining table, chan sitting right across from him.

he sent her a grin, too. it was hard to read, a mess of emotions passing through making it difficult to discern. his right eye was white, baring a scar circling the socket of his skull. the right corner of his mouth couldn’t move to far.

“hey, i was wondering where you were.” chan chuckled, willing himself to stand. y/n could see how shaky his stance was, causing hyunjin to leap over and help him regain balance.

“none of that. i’m capable of doing things myself now.” chan shooed hyunjin away, placing a hand on the male’s shoulder in a silent thanks.

he limped around the table, his left knee still weak after all this time but managed to make it to where y/n stood and pulled her into a hug. he squeezed her lovingly, happy to see his adoptive niece after so long. y/n wasn’t as expressive with her touch, opting to just rest her hands around his waist loosely until he backed away. she hoped he didn’t notice that.

he did, but chose not to speak of it.

he looked around, peering at the decor the couple managed to find to decorate their living room. “rather nice place you two have set up here. feels very… homey.” he chortled with a nod.

“well, it is home now.” she responded back, seeing hyunjin step over to take the food for the night from her palm, giving her hand a small squeeze while doing so.

y/n cleared her throat. “so, how’s everyone? good, i hope?”

chan nodded, turning to her. “yeah. felix is studying to help with the medical team. han, changbin, and seungmin are on patrols more often than not, and i.n. is, well, just i.n.” a light laugh left his mouth. “nah, he’s helping the town’s children with their learning.”

“that’s great. i’m happy for ‘em.” y/n gave him a tight-lipped smile.

“i’ll let them know you said that.” then, he sucked in a breath. “but, um…” he trailed off, trying to find his words. “but i’ve came by to talk about something.”

y/n cocked her head slightly. “what is it?” she questioned.

“here.” he sat back down on a wooden dining chair. he patted the table, motioning to the seat next to him. “come sit.”

she followed, seeing hyunjin come back from the kitchen out of the corner of her eye.

she watched as chan pulled out a folded paper and opened it, revealing a map of the east coast. “i’ve been putting out feelers for a while and a guy heard my story.” he smoothed out the sheet on the table. “he told me about a woman he traded with a while back when he was going through california. said she was built like an ox, traveling with a kid with scars across his face.”

y/n swallowed thickly, nails digging and scraping into the wood of her seat. she felt her chest grow heavy.

“he said they were living along the coast on a sailboat. here,” he pointed towards a marked spot on the map before peering up, meeting y/n’s eyes. she felt her stomach twist with his next words.

“that’s gotta be her.”

a silence fell over them for a moment, y/n unable to form the right words.

it’s as if hyunjin could feel that unease radiate from her and took a step, leaning forward and resting his hands on y/n’s shoulders. she could feel the slight trace of his thumb run comfortingly across the skin of her collarbone.

“we’re done with that, so…” he chimed in.

chan peered at y/n, brows furrowed. y/n let out a shaky breath. “i’m sorry,” she looked down.

she could see the way his face twisted, an expression of almost betrayal falling over his features. “well,” he cleared his throat. “i can’t go.”

y/n gave him a small nod. “i know.” her voice was growing weaker.

a pause followed after that. y/n could feel her skin crawl with the way chan’s eyes scanned her. then, a scoff.

“all right.” he sneered, grabbing the bag he traveled with and stood. “reckon it’s easy to forget about her while you’re sitting so comfy and cozy all the way out here–“

“hey,” hyunjin cut in, taking a step forward.

chan ignored him, still fixed on y/n and her saddened hues. “i’ll make her pay. that’s what you said.” he sneered while putting on his backpack.

“chan,” hyunjin tried again, stepping in his line of sight. y/n looked away.

chan rolled his eyes and snarled. “what a fucking joke.” he hissed and limped through the front door.

hyunjin turned to her, standing form towering over her. he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple. “stay here a minute, yeah?” he muttered. she nodded, feeling one more peck be placed to the crown of her head.

she heard him head out, footsteps heavy with anger.

“the fuck was that?” she could hear hyunjin’s voice flow through the open window.

“nothin’.” she heard chan respond back.

a groan of irritation came next. “god dammit, chan. you know what the fuck we’ve been through—“

“save it.” chan snapped. “she made me a promise.”

“i don’t fucking care!” hyunjin barked back, making y/n bite her lip until metal seeped to her tongue.

“and that’s your fucking problem, hyunjin. i know you don’t give two shits.”

“you listen here,” her boyfriend’s voice was sharp. “don’t you ever, i mean ever, come into my fucking house with that bullshit ever again. do you hear me?”

y/n was no longer paying attention to their conversation, too preoccupied with the thoughts running in her brain.

abby was so close. so fucking close. and y/n, she could end it once and for all. for her. for hyunjin. for chan. for all her friends. for minho.

she shook her head, forcing them away. it’s done. she’s done.

she grabbed the map and headed upstairs.

sleep didn’t come easy that night. hyunjin laid beside her, dark hair falling over his pillow with small snores leaving his lips.

y/n was sat up, feet dangling over the edge of the bed. goosebumps riddled her skin. the night air flown in through the open windows, making her shiver in her sleep shirt and a pair of hyunjin’s boxers.

she sniffled and sighed, swallowing back the lump in her throat before standing. she walked over towards the window and closed it quietly.

she peered over her shoulder at the man she loved asleep so soundly and made her stomach flip with both adoration and heartbreak. he’s been with her through it all. from minho’s murder, to the hunt for abby, to violence she’s committed, even to his scratch with death. and he’s still here, choosing to be by her side through anything and everything.

she dug her nails into the skin of her crossed arms. chan’s voice echoed through her mind.

i’ll make her pay. that’s what you said.

she let out a broken breath and buried her face in her hands, rubbing harshly at the skin of her forehead. she dragged them down her face.

another shiver racked her body. there’s more windows open downstairs.

with one last glance at the sleeping hyunjin, she took gentle steps into the hall and down to the lower floor. she walked around. the entire house was dark except for the moonlight shining through the curtains, bright enough for y/n to see to move around.

a howl of wind came from nearby. y/n strolled over, hands and feet chilly as she entered hyunjin’s little art room. the walls were pinned with his works. charcoal drawings of herself, paintings of their friends, sketches of jackson’s outline. he was talented.

y/n closed the window and took a few steps back, her hip knocking into a stool. a thud hit the floor, causing y/n to jump at the sound. her guitar case laid there and stared up at her.

she swallowed and bent down, opening it to reveal minho’s old guitar. it was loved, the wood scratched from old picks and old snapped string ends tied to the tuning pegs that he was too lazy to remove.

she grabbed it, thumb running across the neck. she sat on the stool and placed it in her lap, fingers falling back home to where they always were. a few soft strums followed. it was a familiar tune, one she grew so used to playing.

if i ever were to lose you, i’d surely loose myself.

she paused. minho’s voice sang in her head. future days by pearl jam. it was one of his favorites when he was young, he said. his mother used to play it for him when he was a boy and unable to sleep.

“and i wanted to teach you, you know,” he shrugged, sitting on the sofa in y/n’s little makeshift house she claimed as her own. “just in case you need it.”

she chuckled, twirling side to side in her swivel chair. “and why would i need that?” she asked. “i don’t even know how to play.”

he rolled his eyes in a playful manner. “that’s why i said i’ll teach you. it’s almost like you don’t listen.” he reached out, fingers tangling in her hair and giving it a good ruffle.

she pushed him away. “thanks for that. now i look like i’ve been attacked by a bear or something.” she sassed, trying to smooth out her locks.

“it’s not too bad. though, i don’t think hyunjin would mind no matter how your hair looked.” he teased, causing her cheeks to burn.

“shut the hell up.” she brought her hands to her face, trying to conceal her redness.

“yeah, yeah.” he laughed. “but i’ll teach you. if you can’t sleep, just play it. it’ll help. besides, it’s a good song.”

she nodded. “it is. maybe once i learn, i’ll play better than you.”

he scoffed. “doubt it.”

the memory played on repeat. she missed him and his dumb teasing. the only family she ever had was him, practically becoming her brother figure over the course of their journey across the country.

and his death: unjustified and left behind. it left a bitter taste in her mouth, especially since she’s given up on it. on him.

she couldn’t do that to him, not after all he’s done for her. she wouldn’t.

she needed to find abby.

hyunjin was cold when he woke up. the left side of the bed was bare, leaving him alone in the dimly lit room. the sun hasn’t risen yet and the bright moon left a ghastly white glow on the walls.

y/n was missing and that worried him. he knew her insomnia was growing worse by the day. she’d stay up for hours on end, tossing and turning with no dreams to be found. he wondered where she was now.

he got up, bare feet hitting the hardwood floor that sent a shiver down his spine. he headed out and down the stairs, hearing the sounds of shuffling come from the kitchen.

he rounded the corner and felt his heart sink. y/n’s back faced him. she was crouched, frame swallowed in minho’s old jacket he wore all the time, and she was stuffing things into a bag. she was leaving.

“hey,” his voice came out soft. it’s still startled her, making her flinch and peer over her shoulder. she stood.

“hey.” she replied, clammy hands rubbing against the material of her jeans.

“you okay?” he asked. it was dumb. of course she wasn’t.

she nodded nonetheless, lying straight to his face. “fine.” she croaked, stepping over to hide the backpack from his sight. it was useless to do so. he already knew what her plan was.

“come. let’s go back to bed. let’s talk in the morning.” he motioned towards the stairs and turned, hoping to not give her time to argue. he wasn’t quick enough.

“i need to finish this.” her words were broken, much like the way his heart was.

he clenched his jaw and screwed his eyes shut. he turned, taking long strides over to her. he shook his head.

“you don’t owe chan anything. you know that, right?” his hand reached out, brushing back her hair. she pulled away, looking up at him with exhausted hues.

“i don’t sleep. i…” her voice broke slightly. “i don’t eat. i’m not like you.”

hyunjin’s brows furrowed, face twisting in a blur of offense. he took a step back. “like me?” he scoffed. “what? you– you think this is easy for me?”

y/n’s frown stretched deeper.

he scowled. “minho was my best friend, y/n. for years, he was there for me. with– with advice, or solutions for my problems, even to just fuck around with. he watched me grow up and you think it’s easy for me to act like his death didn’t effect me?”

y/n shook her head. “that’s not–“

hyunjin cut her off. “i do this for you, y/n. everything i do is for you.” sadness washed over his anger. “i love you. please, just stay.” he grasped her face gently with his palms, thumbs running along the high points of her cheek bones.

“i can’t.” she whispered.

“so, am i just supposed to sit and wait for you? for me to drive myself insane thinking your dead or ripped apart?” he exasperated. y/n shook her head in his hands.

“i don’t plan on dying.” her voice was stable for the first time in a while.

“well, neither did minho.” the words slipped out faster than he could catch. his blood froze in his veins at the look of pain making home on y/n’s features.

she didn’t respond, but instead ripped away from his touch to grab her bag, taking steps towards the back door. he panicked, jumping forward to cup her face once again. “no, don’t. please.”

her breathing was ragged. what he said was unfair on every level and he knew that. but, anything to keep from separating, he’s willing to do. “please. i-i can’t…” he cracked. “i can’t lose you, too.” his eyes burned with tears, gaze locked with hers.

“i have to kill her, hyunjin. she’s still alive and minho’s not. i can’t live with myself as long as she’s still breathing.” she whispered.

he leaned forward, forehead pressed together, and let out a shaky breath. “let me come with you.”

“no.” her response was instant. “no, you can’t come.” she shook her head, attempting to pull away from him. his gentle hands stayed.

“why?” he begged. “tell me, why can’t i come?” he scanned her face. her emotions bled openly. her fear and agony of watching someone she cared for to be hurt again was on full display.

“you’ll get hurt. i-i can’t have you dying on me. last time was cutting it way too close.” she explained. “and that was because of me. you came because of me and that earned you a collapsed lung and a run in with death. everything that’s happened to you was because of me.”

she sniffled and hyunjin shook his head, wiping a rouge tear from her cheek. “no, god no.” he swallowed. “you think this was your fault? are you fucking serious?”

she nodded. “of course it is. if i hadn’t–“

“if i hadn’t, you would’ve been dead.” he cut in. “if i hadn’t been there, abby would’ve beaten you to death and i would be sitting in jackson wondering where you were. if i hadn’t, you would’ve been taken and killed by the wlfs. if i hadn’t, i would’ve lost you for good.”

another tear slipped down her cheek. he wiped it away, not acknowledging his own. “none of this is your fault. none. it has never been your fault. what abby did, you had nothing to do with and i know that in your mind, you believe you’re the root cause of everything, but believe me when i say you’re not.” he pushed her hair back, much like he did when she had her panic attack in the barn.

“and i know this is what you feel is needed. i know this feels like the only thing you can do avenge minho’s death and i know your mind is made up. i wont stop you, but god forbid i let you do this shit on your own. you’re much too precious to me to do that.” he breathed.

“i’d go to the ends of anything and everything for you. i’d follow you into any place you want. fuck, i’d walk blissfully into hell if that’s where you’re headed.” he licked his lips, salt on his tongue. “please, love, please let me go with you.”

y/n swallowed and sniffled, feeling the weight of his words crush her. she could see it in his eyes. please let me come with you. i’m begging, my love, please.

a sigh and then she nodded. “okay.” she croaked. “okay. you can come.”

a sense of relief filled hyunjin’s chest. he leaned down and captured y/n’s lips with his. desperation fled from him to her, spilling between them in a flurry of emotions. the very need to be by her side at all times consumed him, to survive and die right next to her. and he would without as much as a second thought.

he breathed her in, hoping to consume and bury all her worries and fears, and sprout them into flowers of hope and courage. she was his everything.

and if it’s to the ends they go, he’ll follow her like a dog.