starboy505

[starboy505]

:D

my room

thanks to @istj-mbti for tagging me!

anyone who follows, moots, or just comes across my blog can do it as well!

@starboy505

[starboy505]

well i myself constantly question if i am fe-si (ESFJ) or se-fi (ESFP) i’m heavily oriented to being a social chameleon and i am more willing than i’d admit to “tweak” myself to ensure others are happy - i’m very empathetic and genuinely in a way absorb people’s moods to the point of being uneasy when they express negativity (though this isn’t a particular marker of fe or fi) and i gain a great deal of energy from making others feel good and giving them what i know they need/they ask of me, i’m heavily attuned to my external environment (which is the only thing i’m sure of cognitive function wise) and the people in it, i’ve been told i have an uncanny way of knowing what people need and in turn am very very deeply uncomfortable with the thought of talking about my emotions/needs over others even if i need it, it feels selfish and i genuinely think it is wrong of me to focus on my own emotions or even make a peep about them and i care deeply for my set of morals that lead me to believe this and any other things

i’m curious as to what dom/aux fi looks like when its “fi values” are very typically fe values - for example i’m CONSTANTLY questioning if i’m esfp or esfj because i think i have my OWN belief system regardless of what happens, i have morals i follow and hardly ever change my mind on those beliefs when i’ve made them up, BUT i am also heavily focused on “do the objectively correct thing ethically and socially - adjust to this group and keep the perception they have/have made of you up” i adapt very well socially to the point of a wavering sense of self, and a HUGEE confusing factor for me is fi likes, or is stereotyped to like constantly looking at its own feelings or thoughts - i for one hate it and it feels icky, thoughts?

this is such a HUGE question that people argue about (esp for characters😵‍💫)- and I get so many messages almost every day about how to tell fe vs fi, which tbh is so hard for me to tell sometimes personally

in general, I like to think it's what they do with the values rather than the values themselves (because it's a misconception that fe isn't associated with values, since imo values and feelings are inherently sister ideas 👯)

I also tend to observe that fi users question their own morality a lot more frequently and whether what they are doing is right/wrong - even long after they did something. they might wonder if they are a good or bad person almost constantly.

the fi user might question themselves: "am I a good friend? does this make me a good son/daughter? am I a good student? etc etc"

a lot of what they do is also to assure themselves of their beliefs. so flipping the above questions into: I am a good .... because I ....

I also often notice that fi users hold themselves to different standards from others, which is honestly pretty ironic imo. they are more willing to go against other people, and sacrifice much more of themselves, as long as it means doing the right thing

lastly, I think that fi users project a lot of their thoughts and advice onto others. when they comfort ppl, esp those close to them, it's almost as if they're actually consoling themselves rather than the other person. I notice as if it's coming from their own experience (or what they would want to hear if it was them in the other persons position), rather than for the other person needs to hear

[starboy505]

I just found out a cute little personality quiz: https://sophie006liu.github.io/vegetal/. Feel free to join in!

No pressure tags: @oiblackestsheep @mistype360 @blueopinions49

[starboy505]

1 ) i please and care for others to blend in, a mixture of pleasing and blending in you could say 

2 ) i stay calm and try to mostly keep myself positive, i calm myself down by being positive and reframe the situation to see the positivity/keep myself from being negative

3 ) in anger it tends to simmer inside me, it builds and builds a lot until i finally assertively express what the problem is but in specific situations (ie, my friends being talked about rudely) i will become very angry rather fast (but calm down just as quickly if my friend stops me) i would say i experience anger semi regularly but don’t let it rule me or ruin my relationship with others unless they’re truly mistreating me/others  

4 ) in shame i want to hide it, i hide what i’m ashamed of and possibly even joke about it to ease it but generally i dont experience shame unless i am not of service/help to others, perform badly, or am selfish/viewed as selfish 

5 ) in fear i try to laugh about it, “what you laugh at can’t scare you” i rationalize my fear and tell myself “it’s okay” and that “i’m fine” and it’s not too often i experience fear but when i do experience fear it’s a tightness in my gut and whole body 

6 ) in conflict i tend to avoid talking about what hurt/irritated me unless it’s important, if i *can* brush it off i *will* and oftentimes can weeks without expressing something that’s bothering me (especially if it’s consistent, i’ll just bear it) until i hit a point where i finally express what it is i feel and while i do that directly it takes time of brushing things off, in other casual circumstances though i communicate pretty directly but relaxed unless it comes to my needs 

7 ) if something is important to me/i’m asked about what i want i will express directly what it is i do want if i have it in mind, but not without thought to others and may often ask “well i want ___, if that’s fine”/“what do you want?”, but generally i leave decisions to others (especially when it comes to food or dinner) because i truly am unopinionated unless i feel strongly for something generally 

8 ) i definitely distract myself to cope with negative emotions, i distract myself with caring for others, i distract myself with tv, i distract myself with schoolwork - it is hard for me to sit with my negative emotions and i admittedly run from them, i also deny that i’m feeling a certain way, “i’m fine, no worries!”, “i’m okay” and internalize the message “you’re fine there’s no need to feel this way” 

questions to type yourself (enneagram edition)

how do you set boundaries with the world around you? (do you assert yourself, do you blend in, do you please others, etc etc)

how do you act during stress? (are you more positive, do you stay calm and try to be "objective," do you get emotional, etc etc)

how do you act in anger? do you experience it often?

how do you act in shame? do you experience it often?

how do you act in fear? do you experience it often?

how do you act in relation to others in conflict? (withdraw, go-with-the-flow, upfront, etc)

how do you "get what you want?" (more demanding + straightforward, believe it should be earned, focus on self, etc etc)

what is your coping mechanism? (do you distract yourself, do you try to act more neutral, stay in denial, try to rationalize, etc)