starchasersunseeker - Tumblr blog

[starchasersunseeker]

When your older sibling practically raised you, but the older you grew, the more you grew apart, and now they take every bad emotion they have out on you to the point that it's becoming unbearable. Because deep down no matter how much you hate them they were the only person taking care of you your entire life and you can't help yourself but to internalize every comment they make about you, every word aimed at you. So despite caring for them and deep down loving them, you still resent them for going from being the only person on your side to being the very person who is always against you. And no matter how much you tip toe your way around them and try to be close with them again, they just always push you back away with their words that are filled with venom. You just try and try and keep trying, but the more you do, the more exhausting it is to continuously be stabbed in your deepest wounds, their words aimed exactly where it hurts the most. Yet you can't help yourself but continue to try even if you break apart a million times in the process. You keep trying even tho it's killing you on the inside. But you can't stop. Because every so often they come to you. And act like they used to. Are kind to you again. Seek your opinion on a problem they have. Make you feel like maybe you really can repair your relationship. Like maybe you could be close again. But then, on a whim, they decide to be hurtful again. And the cycle continues. Over and over. Again and again. Which keeps you in that delusional hopeful state of 'maybe we'll be okay again, someday'.

Is this about me or the Black brothers / sisters? You decide 🤷

[starchasersunseeker]

James: Look what I caught!

Sirius: What?

James: A stray cat!

Sirius:

James:

Sirius: That’s Regulus.

James: Stray cat!

[starchasersunseeker]

Reblog if you think a woman can be complete without children

Y’ALL HAVE TIME TO REBLOG THIS. IT TAKES LESS THAN FIVE SECONDS.

[starchasersunseeker]

Virgin James who's so eager and the first thing he wants to try is eating Reg out. He's a total mess but incredibly eager and determined. Reg gives him directions which he listens to but he gets so into it that he forgets to follow instructions and keeps pressing closer and trying to taste as much of Reggie as possible.

Virgin Reggie who James offers to go down on. Reg doesn't know what to expect but the second he feels James's breath on him his body relaxes and his muscles go slack handing his body over for James to control and pleasure.

Both of them who are virgins and are completely lost but James convinces Reggie to sit on his face because he can't imagine a better position and Reg ends up grinding against his tongue until he comes in James's mouth.

In conclusion James lives to give head

[starchasersunseeker]

i can do it with a broken heart is so james potter coded

[starchasersunseeker]

Regulus is so real bc if I met some beef cake with a heart of gold I too would autism myself into his pants

[starchasersunseeker]

Regulus Black x service bottoming

What if he just wants to be used like fleshlight? He's daddy's prettiest little cocksleeve.

🙌🙌🙌

[starchasersunseeker]

opinions on rosestarkiller ?? :0

hi nonnie!

yes >:3 i have juicy headcanons for u

this is a regu-bowl account so all regulus ships are pretty much a go for me. also, i have this like messed up spot in my heart for bartylus both as a romantic and platonic ship. *shrugs* i like them toxic and codependent.

anyways, the trio! the unholy trio gods i love them. i love them so much i think they constantly pull each other from darkness. it's just a given, ya know? no one was there for them and they all see each other's missing pieces. so much of their friendship lives in spite of all the people they lost and have left them. "see this? this is true loyalty." something like that. it's messy, convoluted, and complex but somehow it's the easiest thing they've ever done. they recognized each other's whale songs and swam to see who it was that sang back.

and because i'm a regulus girly, i think it's especially wonderful to have rosekiller pine over regulus. rosekiller sex because barty is so heartbroken about regulus. evan snapping at regulus because he keeps chasing after people that don't want him back when they're right there. barty claiming he knows regulus best but when regulus keeps lying to himself evan is the only one who can call him out on his bullshit.

"I've known you since we were kids, we saw each other grow up. Our families have touched branches since the very beginning — do not fucking lie to me, Black." He says as he grips Regulus' chin. Evan is so tired of all the lies. "What. do. you. want?"

.

.

. "You. Both of you." "Good. There you go, bunny."

Evan calls regulus bunny btw. He calls barty his pretty knife. Tells you something about the role he plays in the trio and how barty and regulus typically are with each other, huh?

Barty calls regulus starlight, starshine, and princess. He calls evan rosie, red, and, secretly, petal. Out of the three of them he's the most unreasonably feral over his lovers just as he's also the most openly romantic. Big sweeping gestures (no matter how disturbing). Proud declarations.

Regulus doesn't have pet names for barty but will fondly shorten his name to Bee. On Halloween he calls barty, Boo. He calls evan apollo. When he's feeling like a bitch he'll call him Vincent.

Regulus calms barty down, barty calms evan down, and evan calms regulus down.

Evan is dom to bartylus. Regulus is dom to barty. And barty is sub to evan and reg — he has the deepest need to be taken care of. Non-dynamic sex (outside D/s), however, is very different for bartylus *ahem ahem* regulus *ahem* is a cumslut and needs a good dicking down most of the time.

Complex trauma has barty "dropping" from time to time. Which is really fucking hard. Regulus and evan routinely "putting him down" helps for most of the time, but there are instances where he feels himself dropping and the real challenge is getting to both or either one in time. It's... A lot. Barty needs a lot of caring for but it absolutely doesn't fucking matter when Barty is easily the most trusting out of the three and would drop everything for his lovers.

heheheheheh

[starchasersunseeker]

Some and now none of you —

Thinking about Regulus who goes through that younger sibling phase, you know, like, when they become a sponge? When they literally absorb everything through sheer osmosis, of whatever it is their older siblings do? Musical preferences, clothing choices, ticks, expressions, thoughts, philosophy, etc.

And i think, because he and Sirius grew up the way they did, and where they did, Regulus may have put Sirius on a pedestal (I think they both put each other on a pedestal. Like Sirius was always "supposed to be" the braver one and Regulus was always "supposed to be" the kinder one. They saw their own perceived weaknesses as strengths manifested in the other.) And like a little kid — both as a younger sibling and a child whose main source of affection is from his brother — Regulus' identity comes into being through Sirius.

And Sirius? Being treated like the parasite of his mother's ambitions, by his mother, whilst simultaneously groomed to take her place — he finds that Regulus is the first thing, first person that he was told was his. It's a heady thing, as he struggles to grapple with the combination of lingering insufficiency and the ego (as well as entitlement) that comes with being told you're meant to own the world. Regulus is fully his and not a half-debt to a parent.

He soaks up the admiration the same way Regulus absorbs bits and pieces of Sirius' identity to find his own.

At one point, they're swapping traits and ticks. Tricks and picks.

Clothes and bedrooms are shared. Spaces are occupied together.

And, well. It's so very sad to think about the dissonance when they start losing each other. Because it starts to feel like they're losing themselves. It's a bit more complicated for Sirius because to him, he saw it as giving pieces of himself to a kid, even though it's not true, or a rational description of two siblings simply sharing interests. To him, it's not.

Regulus has a haaaaaard time readjusting every time he and Sirius drift farther apart. He's torn. He grew up having identified with so much of his brother's existence and now has to find what it means when he no longer can't. How does he find himself, when he's lost so much of it?

And for Sirius I can imagine how he feels like he's walking with patches of himself missing. It feels like both brothers stole from each other.

Now Regulus is walking down the halls, wearing his scarves exactly like his brother does. And Sirius ends up not wanting to touch scarves for a long while, because he's used to putting one on Regulus first and then himself.

*wow, i can't seem to stop writing about the black brothers. here, have some more.

[starchasersunseeker]

James "I would have died for your sins" Potter and Regulus "I just died inside" Black

[starchasersunseeker]

i made a quiz…

[starchasersunseeker]

Lol me

"I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy" I would. Pussy

[starchasersunseeker]

me reading about the same two characters falling in love over and over again in new settings

[starchasersunseeker]

james “fuck it if i can’t have him” potter and regulus “i might just die it would make no difference” black

[starchasersunseeker]

james cant compliment any part of regulus' body, without having a small moral crisis because he and sirius are practically identical.

[starchasersunseeker]

james: i just don’t see what regulus sees in crouch! he’s psychotic and arrogant and FAR too loud, everything that regulus hates in a person

peter: i don’t know mate, i think you just described yourself. Without the psychotic part

sirius: I’m with prongs, somebody like my “sweet” baby brother deserves someone better don’t you agree moony?

remus: I think regulus is capable of deciding who he dates

james: what do they even talk about? or do they just bond over their traumatic home life

remus: you know you’re getting really worked up over this

james: all I’m saying is that regulus deserves someone better

remus: like who?

james: someone like me

remus:

sirius:

peter:

sirius: I’m giving you ten seconds to run

[starchasersunseeker]

btw, Evan was Bartys' last love but Barty was Evans' only love