starkdissembled-arc - Tumblr blog

[starkdissembled-arc]

Don’t mind me. Just here sipping this tea. This piping hot, I was right tea. 

so  i’ve  been  offline  for  a  couple  of  weeks  now  and  it’s  been  really  nice .  it’s  also  given  me  a  lot  of  time  to  think  about  things  that  need  to  happen  because  i  need  to  stop  being  scared  of  it  because  it’s  no  fun .

as  some  of  you  do  know  because  i’ve  brought  it  up  to  you  or  because  others  have  come  to  you ,  i’ve  been  lying  about  my  past .  however ,  i’m  hoping  that  you’re  willing  to  hear  my  story  before  leaving .

five  years  ago ,  i  was  called  out  as  bowie .

i  don’t  remember  all  of  the  details  because  i  did  everything  possible  to  work  with  my  fiance  and  my  doctor  to  move  past  it  and  grow .  there  were  some  things  in  that  callout  that  could  not  have  been  further  from  the  truth  and  other  things  that  are  true  and  i’m  not  proud  of .

first  off ,  let  me  say  that  i  did  not  hold  onto  any  proof  because  my  doctor  told  me  that  it  would  hurt  more  than  it  would  help  and  he  was  right .  letting  go  of  screencaps  and  things  let  me  heal  and  move  on  instead  of  holding  onto  grudges .  that  said ,  i  can not  prove  anything  that  i  am  saying .  but  i  am  telling  the  truth .  at  this  point ,  i  have  no  reason  not  to .

for  over  a  year  before  the  callout  came  out ,  i  was  stalked  by  one  of  its  creators .  i  won’t  name  them  or  tag  them  because  they’re  no  longer  on  tumblr .  however ,  this  person  was  angered  by  something  i  had  written  years  before  and  had  already  apologized  for  ( this  would  have  been  written  nearly  a  decade  ago  for  context )  and  that  i  was  friends  with  someone  they  deemed  problematic .  i  also  confided  in  them  and  another  mutual  friend  about  being  uncomfortable  with  someone  on  the  dash  because  they  had  helped  someone  try  to  end  my  relationship .  that’s  genuinely  all  i  remember  from  the  fallout  with  this  person .

the  person  in  question  had  my  personal  phone  number ,  my  home  address ,  and  knew  where  i  worked .  at  the  time  i  worked  with  a  well  known  entertainment  company  so  it  wasn’t  hard  to  reach  out  to  them .  i  received  multiple  empty  envelopes  from  this  person ,  they  attempted  to  reach  out  to  my  employer ,  and  things  got  out  of  hand .  

after  the  callout ,  my  hangouts  were  publicly  posted ,  i  received  death  threats ,  and  i  was  scared .  my  private  social  media  accounts  were  posted  publicly  and  tracked .  my  fiance  and  i  moved  out  of  our  old  apartment  in  part  to  try  to  feel  safe .

that  said …  i  was  not  perfect  nor  was  i  completely  innocent .  i  also  participated  in  keeping  an  eye  on  them  and  watching  their  blog  because  i  was  obsessed  with  my  own  reputation  and  trying  to  prove  that  they  were  a  bad  person .

i  should  have  just  let  this  go ,  but  i  didn’t .

this  spiraled  for  years  until  the  callout .

i  will  never  pretend  that  i  was  perfect  or  that  i  didn’t  talk  about  people  behind  their  back .  because  i  did .  i  vented  to  people  i  thought  were  friends  and  said  horrible  things  i  should  not  have .  these  things  were  not  intended  to  get  back  to  anyone .  they  were  intended  to  stay  in  a  small  server  of  friends .  however ,  they  didn’t .  and  i  learned  from  that .

however ,  many  of  the  people  mentioned  in  the  callout  were  those  i  had  already  tried  to  make  amends  with .  some ,  not  all .

also ,  prior  to  the  callout ,  i  had  only  recently  been  medicated  properly .  this  is  not  an  excuse ,  however  it  does  provide  an  explanation  for  some  of  my  behavior .  

at  the  time ,  i  was  bouncing  between  meds  and  was  honestly  out  of  my  mind  because  things  weren’t  working .  there’s  an  entire  chunk  of  time  missing  from  my  memory  because  i  was  put  on  abilify  and  it  completely  fucked  my  brain  up .  i’m  still  responsible  for  anything  i  said  or  did  during  this  time ,  but  i  genuinely  don’t  remember  it .

after  the  callout ,  i  was  angry .  i  hid  on  other  blogs  in  other  fandoms  and  tried  to  ignore  it  and  write .  before  i  was  found ,  i  made  mox’s  blogs  and  started  with  the  idea  of  trying  to  just  write ,  not  get  involved  with  people ,  keep  to  myself ,  and  try  to  have  fun .

it  was  not  started  with  the  intention  of  hurting  anyone  or  trying  to  keep  tabs  on  anyone .  i  made  blogs  because  i  wanted  an  outlet  and  wanted  to  write .  for  the  past  two  years ,  i’ve  made  it  a  point  to  try  to  keep  my  distance  from  people  i  knew  had  problems  with  me  and  i’ve  worked  on  myself .  i’ve  tried  to  be  someone  who  was  positive  and  who  tried  to  do  the  right  thing .

in  the  process  of  that ,  the  guilt  kicked  in  because  i  wasn’t  being  honest  because  i  was  afraid  not  only  of  losing  the  people  i’d  befriended  and  cared  about …  but  also  because  i  was  scared  of  this  small  group  of  people  who  had  sent  me  death  threats ,  who  had  posted  about  places  i  hung  out ,  who  i  knew  had  my  old  address .  

i  don’t  expect  anyone  to  understand  it  all .  and  that’s  fine . i  don’t  expect  people  to  stay.  it  sucks  and  it’s  okay .

but  i  do  want  to  say  that  i’m  sorry .

i’m  sorry  for  lying  to  you  all. i’m  sorry  to  anyone  i’ve  hurt  in  the  past . and  i’m  sorry  to  anyone  who  still  feels  like  i’m  trying  to  hurt  them  or  i’m  going  after  them .

i  have  no  intention  of  going  after  anyone  or  keeping  tabs  on  anyone .

i’ve  let  go  of  so  many  grudges  and  so  much  anger  from  five  years  ago  and  i’ve  spent  the  past  few  years  trying  to  show  that  i’m  a  better  person .  

and  that  starts  with  being  honest .

i  do  want  to  say  a  specific  i’m  sorry  to  @deadlcrd  ( i  know  that  blog  isn’t  active ,  but  i  don’t  know  the  url  you  are  active  on ) .  i  don’t  remember  what  happened  back  in  2018 .  i  do  remember  we  didn’t  like  each  other  and  i  said  things  i  shouldn’t  have  about  you  behind  the  scenes .  and  for  that ,  i’m  truly  sorry .  i’ve  been  made  aware  that  you  got  a  hit  on  your  blog  from  me  sometime  last  year  and  i  just  wanted  to  let  you  know  that  it  was  not  from  me  stalking  you  or  keeping  tabs  on  you .  i  was  looking  through  commission  examples  on  a  blog  and  the  examples  were  listed  only  as  ( 1. 2. 3. ) .  i  didn’t  realize  that  they  weren’t  linked  as  example  pages  but  that  they  were  linked  directly  to  the  blogs  that  commissioned  them  until  after  i  started  looking  through  them .  i’m  so  sorry  that  i  made  you  feel  like  i  was  watching  you  .  i  have  no  ill  will  toward  you  and  wish  you  nothing  but  the  best .

again ,  to  anyone  i’ve  hurt ,  even  unintentionally ,  i’m  truly  sorry  and  understand  if  you  don’t  want  to  speak  to  me .  

i  don’t  know  when  or  if  i’ll  be  back  around  as  i’m  currently  focusing  on  writing  a  book  during  NaNoWriMo . i’ve  logged  out  of  my  rp  discord  to  keep  focused  on  that ,  but  i’m  willing  to  give  my  personal  to  mutuals  who  want  to  keep  in  touch .

i’ll  be  reblogging  this  on  my  active  blogs  and  will  have  it  linked  in  my  rules  if  i  do  come  back  as  i  will  continue  going  by  mox  as  i’ve  done  everything  i  could  to  put  my  mistakes  as  bowie  behind  me .

i’m  not  going  to  be  discussing  much  regarding  this  or  answering  things  publicly  as ,  again ,  i’m  trying  to  move  past  this  and  would  like  the  chance  to  continue  showing  you  that  the  person  you’ve  known  for  the  past  years  is  who  i  really  am .

no  matter  what  happens ,  i  hope  you  all  keep  thriving  and  i’m  cheering  for  you <3

[starkdissembled-arc]

me over the last few months:

bowie: AND ANOTHER THING

girl, get you some help because whatever you’ve been getting? hasn’t been enough. you continue to be as delusional as ever, still trapped in your own psychosis. pro-tip: the right way to apologize to someone is “i’m sorry for my actions”.

your paragraph about me was as laughable and ridiculous as you are and for the record? I blocked you first you absolute psychopath. i’m done trying to play nice with you. you are a legitimate danger to yourself and to those around you. you don’t get to decide what is or isn’t transphobic or antisemitic you absolute cantaloupe. and for someone who “wasn’t going to address the callout” you sure had a lot to say.

but just in case anyone has forgotten? bowie’s callout was 150 pages.so like. i’m sure it was just other people being mean right? you never called me a demon or harassed anyone who played the same character as you or - my personal favorite - tried to catfish people into being friends with you AFTER YOU TREATED THEM LIKE SHIT AS BOWIE. 

there is no moral high ground for you. you don’t get to come back under a different name and go ‘waaaah my feefees’. no, fuck you. you’ve hurt enough people. oh and don’t flatter yourself, your information was never in my rolodex. i don’t keep track of where the garbage ends up. <3

p.s. i’ve had you blocked longer than you’ve had me blocked. stop talking about me you atrocity of a human being. xoxo, gossip girl.

[starkdissembled-arc]

partsplayed‌:

ivoryblessed‌:

Hey @sheworthied / @heprogress / @shebrilliant / @shefallen / @shesurvivor

Now you dont really know me, bowie, but I surely know you. You’re pretty notorious if I do say so myself. If its not gaslighting , its theft . if its not theft , its lying. If it’s not lying its, well you get it. Beware this call out is…long. Bowie I genuinely hope you get better. But if you don’t…I mean…sucks to suck.

CONTENT WARNINGS: manipulation, abusive behaviour, bullying, gaslighting, lying, incest ment., ableism, and many others, please take care when reading this and put your own mental health first.

Link

I never thought this post would need to be updated so soon after being posted and blowing up, but as someone who was hurt deeply by Bowie and her actions and has good friends who were targeted by her, I won’t stand by as she tries to weasel her way back into the RPC with new blogs, a new alias, and ZERO accountability for her abusive and manipulative actions. 

Bowie is currently operating under the new alias GLITCH. Her URLs are currently @falseiidol and @asylumsilenced. More blogs may be under way soon based on recent OOC posts. Jane Foster has been mentioned specifically for any people in the Marvel fandom. Please, take a second to acquaint yourself with the information in the callout and subsequent testimonies in the notes if you’re comfortable and stay safe. I don’t want anyone else to have to go through what me and my friends went through.

In case you missed it, Bowie’s back and there’s proof. Stay safe everyone.

[starkdissembled-arc]

ivoryblessed‌:

Hey @sheworthied / @heprogress / @shebrilliant / @shefallen / @shesurvivor

Now you dont really know me, bowie, but I surely know you. You’re pretty notorious if I do say so myself. If its not gaslighting , its theft . if its not theft , its lying. If it’s not lying its, well you get it. Beware this call out is…long. Bowie I genuinely hope you get better. But if you don’t…I mean…sucks to suck.

CONTENT WARNINGS: manipulation, abusive behaviour, bullying, gaslighting, lying, incest ment., ableism, and many others, please take care when reading this and put your own mental health first.

Link

[starkdissembled-arc]

“I’m not as good at –  

          at anything as I am when 

                    I’m doing it next to you.”

written by val. wonderful promo work done by zorra!

[starkdissembled-arc]

THE DAY IS HERE, FRIENDS

I’M MOVING

Here’s how it’s gonna work:

I’m gonna start replying to threads on the new blog as they’re reblogged to me here. If you forget to tag the new blog, don’t worry! I’ll be watching my thread tracker. As I reply to things at the new URL, I’ll move them over on the thread tracker. I’ll be keeping track of what gets reblogged here without a tag - if I miss anything, let me know!

[starkdissembled-arc]

“I’m not as good at –  

          at anything as I am when 

                    I’m doing it next to you.”

written by val. wonderful promo work done by zorra!

[starkdissembled-arc]

MOVED.

you can find me here!

[starkdissembled-arc]

“I’m not as good at –  

          at anything as I am when 

                    I’m doing it next to you.”

written by val. wonderful promo work done by zorra!

[starkdissembled-arc]

MOVED.

you can find me here!

[starkdissembled-arc]

“I’m not as good at –  

          at anything as I am when 

                    I’m doing it next to you.”

written by val. wonderful promo work done by zorra!

[starkdissembled-arc]

MOVED.

you can find me here!

[starkdissembled-arc]

“I’m not as good at –  

          at anything as I am when 

                    I’m doing it next to you.”

written by val. wonderful promo work done by zorra!

[starkdissembled-arc]

MOVED.

you can find me here!

[starkdissembled-arc]

“I’m not as good at –  

          at anything as I am when 

                    I’m doing it next to you.”

written by val. wonderful promo work done by zorra!

[starkdissembled-arc]

MOVED.

you can find me here!

[starkdissembled-arc]

“I’m not as good at –  

          at anything as I am when 

                    I’m doing it next to you.”

written by val