starletthing

[starletthing]

Things you can do as a security guard instead of acting like a dickhead: a vent post disguised as advice

Offer alternatives: IE, “Sorry, nobody’s allowed to hang out over there, but we have seats over here you’re welcome to use”. I recommend getting familiar with local parks, public seating, free food programs, outreach, mobile aid, etc., just in case those are needed.

Be polite: IE, “Excuse me, sir”, “I beg your pardon, miss”. This should go without saying but everyone deserves dignity.

Avoid phrasing requests as orders: IE, “Don’t stand in front of that” VS “Excuse me, could you move a bit to the side?”. This works best with an explanation, like, “There’s a sign behind you”, or, “you might get clipped by someone”. This helps communicate that you are asking for a reason, not just throwing your weight around. If you don’t have a reason, rethink whether or not you need to be doing anything.

Avoid directing blame or fault. Don’t say, “The owner says you gotta go” when you could say, “I’m not supposed to let people be here for X period” or “do X thing”. Again, try to have alternatives ready so people can use other resources or do something else instead of just abruptly changing plans.

Come from a place of compassion whenever you can. People are gonna tell you to get rid of the crazy screaming guy. They say that because they’re frightened and don’t know what to do. Your best approach is, “Hello sir”, followed by, “How are you today?”, “how’s it going?”, “are you doing alright?”, etc., depending on what the person is ACTUALLY doing / saying when you get there. You can offer help from there if needed, or leave them alone if they’re not in danger or a risk to anyone.

Remember you’re not a cop. This can mean whatever you need it to mean. For me personally, that means that with incredibly rare exception (like trying to sell to kids, contaminating other’s food or drink) I won’t report you for drugs. If I find you doing drugs on my site I’ll tell you a different place where you can do them instead and ask you to do them there. I have interrupted drug deals to ask the client and the salesman to both kindly move 15 feet to the left, I’m not kidding, I do not care.

Know who you can throw under the bus. Sometimes you gotta enforce rules and be the bad guy and if that’s the fault of some dipshit in a suit 200 miles away, you can say that. Sorry man, I can’t let you park your car on the lawn. I know you’re not hurting anyone and frankly I think lawn culture is stupid but there’s other parking stalls and if my boss sees you I’ll get a write-up for not doing my job. Shit sucks sometimes but if it wasn’t me telling you it’d be the new guy, and between you and me he’s an idiot and he’ll probably just report you to bylaw.

Don’t just act like you’re their friend, genuinely try to be a good friend. If you know that someone is doing something that will only result in a bystander phoning police, don’t let them go down like that. Let them know, “hey man, you seem like you’re having a shit time and I get it, I’ll do what I can, but we gotta have this conversation somewhere else ‘cause we’re freaking out the old ladies.”

Swallow your tongue. You can’t fix the world. People are gonna bitch at you about communists and 5G and gangster rap ruining the neighbourhood, that’s just part of the deal. Nod along, remain neutral, shut down any hate speech, redirect if you can, and keep a limit in mind where you’ll have to shut things down.

Accept that sometimes there are no solutions. Yes, that angry guy who blasts music will be back tomorrow. That homeless woman who asks you to help her find her dog that she hasn’t had in 30 years will ask again, and yes, you’re still going to take a description and promise to keep an eye out. That kid who smokes crack behind the building has been clean for a few weeks and still stops by to say hi, and you hope he’ll get his life together and be happy, but he also might relapse and OD before he hits 25. Sometimes you just have to do the best you can, even if nothing is guaranteed.

Be kind to teenagers. Being a kid is hard, and everyone’s on their ass all the damn time for everything.

Remember that the vast majority of bad people aren’t bad, just unhappy. The guy who keeps showing up drunk and puking on the carpet is unhappy. The lady who bitches about the service every single time and keeps coming back anyway is unhappy. The guy who leaves trash everywhere is probably unhappy. If they were happy, maybe they’d do better, but they’re not, and that’s kinda sad. You don’t have to let them get away with their shit, but they probably aren’t actually a worthless human being either.

It doesn’t matter if 12 is true or not. You need to believe it or you will become a harsh and bitter person. Look for evidence that people are not terrible and invent it if you have to

Don’t let yourself become a bastard

[starletthing]

As a wheelchair user I'm trying to reframe my language for "being in the way."

"I'm in the way," "I can't fit," and "I can't go there," is becoming "there's not enough space," "the walkway is too narrow," and "that place isn't accessible."

It's a small change, but to me it feels as if I'm redirecting blame from myself to the people that made these places inaccessible in the first place. I don't want people to just think that they're helping me, I want them to think that they're making up for someone else's wrongdoing. I want them to remember every time I've needed help as something someone else caused.

[starletthing]

you're the only one who understands me mr strobbery

[starletthing]

tiny cuts.

[starletthing]

you cannot talk about the homophobic murder of jonathan joss without including in the conversation that he is indigenous.

american indian men are at the 2nd highest risk of death by murder compared to all other ethnic groups. in their lifetimes, 82% of native men report having experienced domestic violence. yet the overwhelming majority of perpetrators are non-natives (88% of native men and 92% of native women who reported violence said their attacker was non-native). what’s more, tribal governments are often stymied in their attempts to bring justice against non-natives, meaning that many of these cases go unresolved.

this was an intersectional attack. the fact that he is indigenous matters, even if the motivation was homophobic, because it made him even more vulnerable and disposable in the eyes of his killer.

as always, look into MMIWP to learn more, and speak up for us. miigwetch, take care

[starletthing]

This year for pride month I want trans people to be alive. Thank you.

[starletthing]

Actor Jonathan Joss was just murdered for being gay and married to a trans man. On the first day of pride 2025. He was best known for playing John Redcorn on King of the Hill.

I had no idea he was gay but he was married to a man named Tristan Kern de Gonzales (on valentines day 2025!)

They lived in San Antonio Texas where his family is from and he grew up. He was 59.

In Janurary 2025 his home was burned down which made news. It killed some of his beloved dogs. He didnt elaborate beyond he believed it was arson (gofundme is still up and i suggest donating to help his funeral costs and his husband

Update: de Gonzales says hes fine he just wants justice but i still think its nice)

Now we know he and his husband had been threatened by several neighbors for being queer. They told pigs, pigs being pigs did nothing before or after it happened.

Yesterday Joss and his husband went to check their mailbox wherein they found one of their dogs skulls (statement from his husband

)

As they weeped and mourned in shock, a neighbor, Sigfredo Alvarez Ceja, came out and aimed at de Gonzales…but Joss jumped in front of the bullet and was instantly killed.

Ceja, homophobia murdering coward, tried to take off but de Gonzales had called pigs who vaguely tried to do something. He was arrested and his bail set for $200k. Or as my sister said who the fuck sets bail for a murderer?

San Antonio.

De Gonzales is clearly mourning, posting pics on Hoss’ fb page. This one really struck me

This is why we need pride people, and not rainbow capitalism. Please donate to the gofundme and let san antonio cops knows what you think. De Gonzales said multiple neighbors had threatened them…id like to see those people investigated for arson.

Go into pride with rage and knowing. Have joy, kiss puppies, dont bow to homophobes. And maybe enjoy a little king of the hill.

UPDATE

Jonathan Joss’ husband Tristan kern de Gonzales identifies as trans on his facebook page.

Which explains the ramp up of hate and why the murderer shot at de Gonzales (Joss pushed him out of the way). So this is also a transphobia related murder

[starletthing]

We are heartbroken to share the tragic news of the death of Jonathan Joss—beloved actor, artist, and gay icon—who was fatally shot on June 1, 2025, in San Antonio, Texas. He was 59 years old. Authorities are investigating the possibility of a hate crime.

Jonathan, of Comanche and White Mountain Apache heritage, rose to fame as the voice of John Redcorn on King of the Hill and appeared in acclaimed films such as The Magnificent Seven and True Grit. Beyond his screen work, he was a tireless advocate for Native sovereignty, queer visibility, and authentic representation.

In recent years, Jonathan came out publicly as a gay man and remained fiercely proud of both his Indigenous and queer identities. He is survived by his husband, Tristan Kern de Gonzales, with whom he shared a life rooted in love, art, and community.

Jonathan’s legacy is one of courage, truth, and unapologetic presence. His impact on two-spirit and LGBTQ+ Indigenous youth—and on all of us who saw ourselves in his work—cannot be overstated.

We mourn his loss. We honor his voice. We demand justice. Rest in power, Jonathan Joss. You are remembered. You are loved.

[starletthing]

2017.8.15 Kubuneguchi Station

叡山電鉄 鞍馬線 貴船口駅

[starletthing]

A group of trans women protesting outside Scottish parliament to condemn the UK Supreme Court’s bioessentialist ruling on sex, and the response of the Scottish government. All are wearing black pants, black tape across their mouths or a black KN95, and their right arms are painted red as "a mark of solidarity with anti-fascist feminists across Europe." | May 17th, 2025

“This ruling, and the subsequent EHRC guidance aims to segregate trans people from safe spaces that they have for used for decades without issue. We are demanding that the Scottish government stand up for its trans citizens by fighting this ruling and appealing to the European Court of Human Rights.”

One of the demonstrators, Sugar, described the protests as "a public act of grief, resistance and solidarity to highlight the hypocrisy of the ruling. If the Supreme Court can see these woman legally as men, then they’ll have zero issue with them going tops off.”

[starletthing]

What do you believe in now?

[starletthing]

being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.

[starletthing]

it’s 2028. trump is dead. elon is dead. zuckerberg is dead bezos is dead they’re all dead

[starletthing]

all the "x with mama" posts are getting to me i just drew a butch girl with her mom (who is also butch) and thought "let's look like men with mama"

[starletthing]

Photography by Annalisa AKA moan_ah_lisa

[starletthing]

you know how people say 'do it scared.' I invented the sequel called 'do it stinky.' sometimes you gotta leave the house stinky style or you won't even leave at all. right now I'm going to stink it up at the park. who give a shit

[starletthing]

So, in Brazilian, USAmerican, and LGBT+ politics news, transgender Brazilian congresswoman Erika Hilton has received from the USA a visa marking her gender as male.

Hilton canceled a trip she was going to make to the US this month, where she was going to participate on Saturday (12) in a panel at the Brazil Conference, and says she will take action against US President Donald Trump at the UN (United Nations) because she considers the case to be transphobic and disrespectful of her Brazilian civil records.

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