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starlight-scorpion · 10 months
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ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on
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starlight-scorpion · 1 year
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"love is what makes us human" yeah well I'm a featherless biped who can identify which images contain a bicycle so what's the truth
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starlight-scorpion · 1 year
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The only catgirl ever
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starlight-scorpion · 1 year
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Hate when I call a man pretty and someone says "do you mean handsome?" Pretty. Beautiful. Gorgeous 😍 I said what I said.
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starlight-scorpion · 1 year
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I feel like the reason certain dog-lovers insist cats are evil is because they read their body language as if they were dogs. So here’s a very basic guide to common “mean” things cats do that actually aren’t mean at all if you know what they’re thinking.
Rolling and exposing belly- attacks you when touched Does not mean: Give belly rubs! - haha I tricked you!  Actually means: I’m playful! If you reach for my belly I’ll grab your arm and bite it because I think we’re playfighting! 
Lazily exposing belly - still attacks when touched Does not mean: tricked you again! Actually means: I’m showing you my belly because I trust you. Please don’t break that trust by invading my personal space. I might accept a belly rub if I’m not ticklish and I know you well. Snapping at you while being pet Does not mean: I suddenly decided I dislike you! Actually means: You’re petting me in a way that gives me too much restless energy. Please focus on petting my head and shoulders instead of stroking the full length of my back next time.
Is in the same room but makes no attempt to interact Does not mean:  I’m ignoring you Actually means: We’re hanging out! I’m being respectful by giving you space while still enjoying your company. Slapping/scratching your hand when you try to pet them Does not mean: I hate you! Actually means: You’ve failed to establish that we’re not playing, or the way you’re approaching me scares me. Be calmer, speak more gently, make eye-contact and blink slowly at me before you try again.
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starlight-scorpion · 1 year
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starlight-scorpion · 1 year
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knowledge
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starlight-scorpion · 1 year
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goddd i just want spider-man's identity to be his own worst but new york city's best kept secret. like i want him unthinkingly taking off his mask and like 20 people see, but if you ask them if they did? no they didn't.
the rule is unwritten, but very enforced. like, there are online communities dedicated to erasing any trace of the spread of his identity. a tourist takes a photo of him and posts it online? it's gone in minutes, and people send DMs to the poster anywhere from "hey, i'm sure you were just excited, but...." to "ill kill u if i evr c you, fuckin bitch".
any information on spider-man is only spread via word of mouth, and only spoken in hushed, awed voices. after several years of spider-man, everyone knows someone who encountered him:
"he saved my cousin. caught a falling billboard from underneath with his bare hands..."
"wow... i've never seen him myself, but he talked to my coworker's daughter for an hour after he stopped a guy from getting a little too handsy. apparently, his smile is 'dreamy'."
these secrets are freely given if you're kind, trustworthy, and show respect for the little guy. but the moment you demand information on him... "i don't know what you're talking about, buddy. he's just an urban legend the news likes to blame the city's problems on so we don't unionize or worse"
so as many times as spider-man ends up with out a mask, or accidentally introduces himself with a name that starts with 'p' and rhymes with 'meter'... on the record, they don't know a thing. because he does his best to help as many people as he can, so it's only fair if they help him a little in return.
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starlight-scorpion · 1 year
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you know what, i am right and im tired of pretending i am not
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starlight-scorpion · 1 year
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pick whoever you like more ^_^
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starlight-scorpion · 1 year
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RIP maria robotnik you would have loved measuring shadow in sauce packets
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starlight-scorpion · 1 year
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lol
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starlight-scorpion · 1 year
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I hateee the "Mandela effect" no dude alternative universes ain't shit its just humans have piss porn memory get over it
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starlight-scorpion · 1 year
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one more for the beach prompt 🏝️
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starlight-scorpion · 1 year
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starlight-scorpion · 1 year
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His name is Mierdón
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starlight-scorpion · 1 year
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