starlightky

[starlightky]

the procrastinator’s mind will invent distractions you’ve never conceived of in order to avoid tasks even a dog could do.

[starlightky]

[starlightky]

pour one out for the guy who just spilled his drink

[starlightky]

this is perhaps evil but I can boost my mood in almost any situation by playing a game called "what was my mom doing at this age?" like rn for instance I'm sleepy because I had a 12 hour work day + stayed up late, and my stomach hurts a little from the enormous chimichanga I smashed for dinner, and my head hurts a little bit from the fat margaritas I had with the chimichanga. and it's like hmm, okay, not optimal, but when my mom was this age she had a 2.5 year old to deal with. can you fucking imagine. can't stay in bed decadently bemoaning your overindulgences because there's a goblin in the next room that's utterly dependent on you for food and hygiene and social needs and if you drop the ball you've fucked up a perfectly good person. and I'm pretty normal so shout out to her for keeping it together but god that couldn't be me, I like fucking around way too much.

[starlightky]

[starlightky]

[starlightky]

Familiars 🩷❤️

[starlightky]

I would literally be unstoppable if I didn’t have that persistent pit in my stomach that everyone in a room is just a little bit annoyed by my presence

[starlightky]

Hate it when the Stardew Valley NPCs get mad at me for digging in their garbage. Like bitch I carry this town on my back. "Ew! Thats awful!" You know what else would be awful? The decaying shambles this town will be left in when I leave because you were all mean to me. Without me Pelican Town is nothing do not fucking test me

[starlightky]

my dumb? founded. my flabbers? gasted. my gob??? smacked

[starlightky]

> THE JESTER

[starlightky]

doctors: we are so smart. and so powerful. also all-knowing btw.

doctors when dealing with a health condition found primarily in women: ummmm. idk. that’s scary. also you’re making it up.

[starlightky]

[starlightky]

i would be soooooo powerful if i wasn't so deeply afraid of people and places and also things

[starlightky]

god if there was a book of forbidden spells I wouldn’t even hesitate

[starlightky]

me teaching my pet vampire how to adapt to human society