starlit-recovery - Tumblr blog

[starlit-recovery]

Hate when there’s so many trauma anniversary things and other general life things at the same time and it just makes your brain go SPLAT and you just don’t know who the heck you are

[starlit-recovery]

We should probably normalize not knowing information about your system like what an alter's role is, total alter count, who is fronting, etc, since that is actually very normal.

[starlit-recovery]

shoutout to systems that got so manipulated and gaslighted by their abusers that it took them years to realize what they went/go through daily was not normal at all, we're with you

[starlit-recovery]

I haven’t been out for a really long time and it’s really strange being here again. My voice sounds odd and wrong when I speak and it’s jarring. I missed being here but I think I had more to process than I realised and a lot has changed for me in some ways, but if I tried to say what has changed it wouldn’t sound like a lot because it’s hard to explain. I feel less self conscious though, my anxiety is better than it used to be and I have closer connections to people internally which help me feel safer and I hope that it translates externally as well.

I hope this is the start of me being able to come out more often. But I know that so many of us want to be here that sometimes it can make it hard for anyone to be here so I’m not going to pin my hopes on this. But I will cross my fingers and I’ll be happy if I do get to come out more again. I’ve really missed our partners a lot and I’d like to spend more time with them again 💚

[starlit-recovery]

[starlit-recovery]

Our brain hasn’t felt right since the other day with that trigger and it’s really bothering us. We’ve had markets today and tomorrow so we haven’t really had time to process it much and in a way kind of dreading when we do have the time bc it feels big internally.

[starlit-recovery]

Woke up feeling so awful today after yesterday’s trigger. Briefly had a moment where someone was around who didn’t know we had a cat so didn’t know why we were having to wake up.

[starlit-recovery]

[starlit-recovery]

Got triggered when we were already feeling triggered and it’s caused a massive IBS flare which is just making us feel so horrible physically.

Watching tv and under blankets feeling really crappy and dissociated. Weh

[starlit-recovery]

[starlit-recovery]

so fond of the term “reparenting yourself” liiiike even if you weren’t raised under the best circumstances it’s not too late for u….. u just dissemble reassemble and do it as much as u want to….. the endless creation of oneself etc etc

[starlit-recovery]

ten years ago you were so scared of such different things, but you survived them anyway. the same goes for five years ago and two years ago. everything that has ever felt like a hurdle, you’ve passed through. so be afraid, identify your fears, and then allow yourself to remember that in just a little while, this will be another thing that you have overcome.

[starlit-recovery]

Please stop attacking the past versions of you. They were doing their best at the time and they got you here. It’s amazing how much progress you’ve made and how much you’ve grown but please don’t think your past self lacked worth in any way.

[starlit-recovery]

Don’t sabotage your peace because chaos is familiar

[starlit-recovery]

hi, you there who are or are thinking about spending all day in bed, it’s okay, I’m not telling you to get up. I’d just like to do a quick check in to make sure you’ve got everything you need to be comfortable and safe.

Have you gotten up to take any meds you need?

Do you need to open or close your windows or curtains/blinds to make your environment nicer? (Fresh air, keep the cold out, sunlight/darkness)

Do you have a water bottle or a glass of water easily accessible? (Can also be juice, cordial, a meal replacement drink or anything else)

Do you have any over the counter or prescription as required meds you might need, like painkillers or anti nausea meds?

Is your phone or laptop charged?

Are you wearing comfortable clothing?

Do you have enough blankets/pillows to be warm and comfortable?

Do you have any snacks like fruit or chips or muesli bars in case you can’t get up to make a meal?

Are you able to change positions in bed (or sit up if you’re able)?

Do you have any regulation tools like fidgets, ear plugs, or journaling/art books or low energy hobbies you might want?

Are you being gentle and patient with yourself and your body today?

Thanks for doing this check in with me. I like to have some of these things prepared on my nightstand, or all together in the same space in my room so I don’t have to do as much work on low energy days. It can also help to have someone else prepare or get these things for you if you’re unable. Hope you have an uncomplicated day.

[starlit-recovery]

[starlit-recovery]

Had someone from a charity come up to us outside the shop being like “hey so kid’s hospitals are bad, have you ever known anyone who went to this one? It needs improving!” and I’m like… my guy our older brother was born terminally ill. We’re very aware that children’s hospitals are not great. We said that our brother had been terminally ill and got a “is he okay now?” and it was wild considering I used the word “terminal” but then had to have the awkward “yeah no he’s dead, he died in 2008”

We’ve had a lot of triggers lately and this was just one of those things where we’re already so triggered recently that our brain has just been like “:)” about it because it doesn’t know what else to do when there’s already so much we’re trying to keep on top of

Anyway after 3 weeks without our night time meds we have them again so here’s hoping we get a better sleep and will be in less pain soon