starry-genome

[starry-genome]

no queerbaiting in tv except whatever the hell is going on with greg davies and little alex horne

[starry-genome]

Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

[starry-genome]

nothing better than the wrong capitalization of Sie

[starry-genome]

[starry-genome]

a child came into the nature center and saw tadpoles for the first time and when i told him they're baby frogs he thought i was lying and i suddenly realized that if you're 3 and don't know that tadpoles become frogs it does sound pretty fake. this kid will not fall for made up shit online he is a born skeptic.

[starry-genome]

I'm putting a leather cover on my thread book to make it more durable, and debating a layer of board between the paper and leather for extra rigidity.

[starry-genome]

When my mother gets into facebook fights with her childhood friends who grew up to be racists, she passive-aggressively fucks with them by making a donation to a local refugee assistance organization in the name of their immigrant grandmothers, a donation large enough that they get a card from the organization saying so.   She passive aggressively fucks with the same demographic of friends who #bluelivesmatter by commenting with details about the various petty crimes they committed together as teens, e.g. “Wow Joey, where was all the respect for blue lives when we hotboxed your uncle’s patrol car?” 

And obviously both these approaches are specific to former juvenile delinquent turned UMC babyboomer but it feel still inspirational in that we can all find our own chaotic good pettiness niche. 

[starry-genome]

[starry-genome]

I wasn’t crazy about this piece so I wasn’t intending on publicly posting it again, but it keeps getting stolen every five minutes so I figured I’d put it here so people at least know who to attribute the original thing to lmao

[Digital illustration, Procreate App, 2020]

[starry-genome]

I'm sorry google ai can you repeat that

[starry-genome]

commenting "AI slop" on someone's wedding photo

[starry-genome]

One of my more radical beliefs is that everyone, regardless of occupation, should be required to take a first aid course at some point in their adult life so that, even if you don’t keep up the cert, if someone says to you “My chest has been really hurting and I’ve been having trouble breathing I think I’m gonna lay down for a bit” your hindbrain kicks in and you say “That’s a bad idea. We’re going to the ER.”

[starry-genome]

"What came first, the chicken or the egg?" Asked the sphinx. To which you answer: "The egg. It's the egg." You need to spend an hour explaining descent with modification before it begrudgingly acquiesces.

[starry-genome]

thinking about that time my mom ordered a bottle of vitamins online and they arrived with the tamper seal broken and she was going to just take them anyway and in desperation i had to bust out the “you know they never solved the chicago tylenol murders” to get her to mail them back

[starry-genome]

so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

[starry-genome]

Just a little PSA for all our mental health (and chronic pain*) spoonies out there! A lot of doctors neglect to mention this little side effect, which means a lot of us are suffering extra from the heat without knowing why.

*Many psych meds are used to treat chronic pain as well, if you didn’t know!

[starry-genome]