starryfied - Tumblr blog

[starryfied]

I had another blog for this but I deleted it because I thought I was done. Turns out... I'm not.

I came to the decision this month to quit love. To quit men. To quit all of that.

Honestly, it was a liberating decision. There was immense relief. But there was also a twinge of sadness.

This has bloomed into grief now as I've had time to consider what this means for me going forward. My life is not going to look how I thought it would. I just wanted my best friend, the one who would walk through life with me unflinching as I would with him. I just don't feel like that's what people are looking for now. I don't want kids, and I feel like finding that in someone else is proving impossible.

Dating apps are hard on the soul. The lack of true connection whilst still trying to get to know someone is impossibly draining. Trying to spot the liars immediately to avoid wasting precious time and effort on someone not worthwhile. Trying to navigate men who don't know what they want, the polyamorous, the kinks, people who just want to go and live in a camper van and see the world. All valid choices. They just don't match mine and what I want out of life.

I'm just not cut out for what dating is now. I'm tired. I'm lonely. And I'm out of patience for the world of dating.

I've always had a big heart, and due to my choices in men, it grew heavy and hard in my chest, and where hope used to lie, there are only rocks now. I'm not saying never, I'm just saying I will no longer chase it. I need to focus on me and my own heart and learn how to fall in love with myself and my life. I always need to be my first choice.

It's also unfortunately brought you back up. And that's the only acknowledgement you will receive. I should have left you sooner before you crippled me and my ability to move on, but I never, and here we are.

So, yes, I've made a liberating choice, but I am grieving. There are days when I have little to no feelings about it. And then there are days like yesterday and today, and it rests heavy on me. I attended my friends wedding, with my heart so full of love for them. And then his speech smacked me. He quoted a more realistic love by Harry Baker, and it smacked me in the feels. The fact is I might never know a love like that, and I have to find a way to live with that.

[starryfied]

And just like that it's December 🖤 Hope you all have a merry and bright month, and that all your wishes come true 🎅 https://www.instagram.com/p/CIP7uudH8Gf/?igshid=c6yvoh3vxj38

[starryfied]

This is it!!! You've got til 8pm! Comment "me" for details of all our Black Friday offers 🖤💰🖤 https://www.instagram.com/p/CINwd4YH4v7/?igshid=eze5kx9c58vo

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THE BUCKLEYS HAVE A NEW TREE 🎅🎄🎅 https://www.instagram.com/p/CILgz-HHwvw/?igshid=d4aiesw87lan

[starryfied]

This is it, the last two days‼️ Do not miss out‼️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CILD8fZnoKO/?igshid=jofisy8s66eb

[starryfied]

If you haven't too advantage of our black Friday deals yet.... well why not? 😂 What are you waiting for!🥳 https://www.instagram.com/p/CIJN6H9nOQj/?igshid=16q4ctup5xlgw

[starryfied]

THIS IS IT‼️ Black Friday Madness has arrived. The queues for the shop has been insane all day!!! If you've been deliberating getting your Christmas presents this month rather than next month, you need to get them to me ASAP while stocks last 🤯 #blackfridaysale #monthendmadness #GRLnetwork https://www.instagram.com/p/CIGsahQHHcM/?igshid=1q9zwho12dwrv

[starryfied]

🥳🥳🥳BLACK FRIDAY SALE🥳🥳🥳 Doing some Christmas shopping? Looking at perfume but not sure you can afford the price tag? Let's see what I can save you !!! PRICES FROM NOW UNTIL 30TH NOV 🤯 While stock lasts, get them while you can ‼️‼️‼️ Intense: £16.72 Pheromone: £14.32 Pure: £15.00 Royal: £21.00 Royal spray: £14 🖤🖤🖤 https://www.instagram.com/p/CIB0CaYnOtj/?igshid=a3rd5bdijp7d

[starryfied]

🥳🥳🥳BLACK FRIDAY SALE🥳🥳🥳 PRICES FROM NOW UNTIL 30TH NOV 🤯 While stock lasts, get them while you can ‼️‼️‼️ Intense: £16.72 Pheromone: £14.32 🖤🖤🖤 https://www.instagram.com/p/CIAulIgnl7j/?igshid=1filgawhnegmr

[starryfied]

NEED ANOTHER INCOME SOURCE?? I can help.....come join us •Do you need a back-up of a 2nd income? •With no risk? •A safety net? •With no financial input? •Instant earnings... Let me help you. If its not for you, you walk away at no cost to you. No pressure. Just an opportunity to help your household. Sort Christmas. Sell with FM from 1000s of product's! Fragrances Cosmetics Health products Cleaning products Specialist teas/coffees And so much more....... You won't be pressurised...... No target's No goals No minimum orders Just be your own boss Online sales are crazy right now & if you have been watching the business I work with then you know how profitable it is and how much Im enjoying it too🥳☺️ Lets do this! I really think you’ll love it!❤️ #workfromanywhere https://www.instagram.com/p/CH_P3MPHrYZ/?igshid=11jydywbzjws4

[starryfied]

🥳🥳🥳BLACK FRIDAY SALE🥳🥳🥳 PRICES FROM NOW UNTIL 30TH NOV 🤯 While stock lasts, get them while you can ‼️‼️‼️ Intense: £16.72 Pheromone: £14.32 Pure: £15.00 Royal: £25.00 🖤🖤🖤 https://www.instagram.com/p/CH-ejUdHgU-/?igshid=a5k0a16mlbgj

[starryfied]

Im looking 5 people who want to earn £100 over the next few days?! 🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏼 💰 🖤No catches 🖤Totally free to join & leave 🖤Training given 🖤No targets 🖤Insant cash profits Wʜʏ ɴᴏᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɪᴛ ᴀ ᴛʀʏ ᴛʜɪs ᴡᴇᴇᴋ ғᴏʀ FREE? Wʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴏsᴇ 🤷🏽‍♀️ 𝘿𝙧𝙤𝙥 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙤𝙧 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙬 https://www.instagram.com/p/CH8o3JTn9Mu/?igshid=21arebznxwga

[starryfied]

‼️🥳‼️ Black Friday Day 6 ‼️🥳‼️ Our glowing complexion gift set is available for £34 for today only (RRP £39) This is popular 😍 🖤 https://www.instagram.com/p/CH7_gN5nR4V/?igshid=qzqpku8tzxfo

[starryfied]

🥳 Day 5 🥳 Black Friday sale price £30 (rrp £34) Our cherry delicious bundle would make a great Christmas present 🎅🎄 FM900 smells delicious 🍒 its one of my absolute faves 🖤🖤🖤 https://www.instagram.com/p/CH5P4L9HL8O/?igshid=1r3dc85zj1uej

[starryfied]

‼️ Day 4 ‼️ 🎅🎄☃️Advent calendars are £33 for today only (RRP £39)☃️🎄🎅 Get yours now‼️‼️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CH2vzwkHHGS/?igshid=ifu0gm6uu2pl

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DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS?!🤔 🖤IT'S LOVE ACTUALLY DAY.🖤 🎅🎄5 WEEKS TIL CHRISTMAS 🎅🎄 🎅🎄MERRY CHRISTMAS GRINCHES!!!🎄🎅 https://www.instagram.com/p/CH0cJr9HNVe/?igshid=1aqvsklh3n4gk

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🥳 DAY 3 🥳 Our duo sets are £30 today only!!! (RRP £35.00) Comment "list"! https://www.instagram.com/p/CH0EqVIn47i/?igshid=31hc4i85i0ia