starrysurrealism - Tumblr blog

[starrysurrealism]

each step takes me forward and although the path may not be clear I still keep moving with hope that it I will get far away from here

[starrysurrealism]

layered more closely than I'd think held together by tightly grasping fingers afraid to let go, but gravity's doing its work wrenching free that which I'd rather hold

[starrysurrealism]

an anguish I can't speak these things seem so meaningless I am here, but at a cost it holds me hostage with its vice-like grip unable to simply walk away and instead I choose this path you've laid knowing the damage it will cause

[starrysurrealism]

It's my 12 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[starrysurrealism]

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A post shared by Alisa Sadilek (@starrysurrealism)

[starrysurrealism]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Alisa Sadilek (@starrysurrealism)

[starrysurrealism]

listless in my devotion a contradiction in all that I am energetic yet living largely in a stasis that only I can

[starrysurrealism]

I am so exhausted by myself I can't get enough sleep even when I try I am so worthless, why even bother these thoughts drive me to find any answer that can explain this numbness but nothing sticks the way it should I am tired and I want this all to be over

[starrysurrealism]

I wanted to give you my life instead I found a knife and etched my pain into lines the words that I could never say the thoughts I hoped would go away

[starrysurrealism]

Your photography is always so good and often showcases the great beauty of the world, but your words are always so heartbreaking (IMHO). I very much hope you will find more happiness over time. <3

Thank you! I use the poetry as a way of letting out the emotions that tend to bottle. I feel like it is important to not keep a lid on pain because it seems to get worse when I do. I hope I don't distress you too much! I am generally ok enough though. :)

[starrysurrealism]

my attachment to this world feels not too strong yet I'm still here, living on how did I make it and not give up I feel like I'm breaking, constantly not enough and somehow, I am alive what kind of lunacy allows me to survive

[starrysurrealism]

measure my soul you'll know its lacking the weight I carry on is enough to damn anyone

[starrysurrealism]

I wish it was me but I think it might be living

[starrysurrealism]

we all struggle to find our place but what happens when it never says I have nowhere to call home just a home that is not where I live this roof over my head is breaking the slow rot of existence it eats away at all this I have no home and I can't repair what I have

[starrysurrealism]

the perseverance that I could only hope to desperately cling to comes so naturally to you how do you push forward through all the pain it amazes me, but I know what I can't and that is pursue a life that could last

[starrysurrealism]

help me, I find myself screaming into the abyss that swallows me whole nothing escapes you can't hear me I don't know what I said again lost in this void

[starrysurrealism]

I'm tired of regretting all that I should have chased after I hold all this remorse in my soul leaving me feeling a constant loss but how can I chase after something if I can't get up I am struggling to crawl