starrysurrealism

[starrysurrealism]

I know that there is reality and I know that what I perceive is not attached and I know there are truths that I should have but I can't see them, they slip through my fingers wandering through a maze of nonsense lies made up to relieve myself of the burden of being delusional

[starrysurrealism]

the stagnation of my thoughts they eddy and swirl without moving forward a continuous twisting of the essence to my identity

[starrysurrealism]

I've been having dreams filled with nothing but emptiness a hollow form of ache I knew I was a mistake but I keep on dreaming

[starrysurrealism]

I want more than words can express

a change that I cannot manifest

it pulls me closer while pushing me farther

trapped in this limbo

with lingering desires

[starrysurrealism]

the catharsis from the ache a pain that washes over me I know this all too well it holds me close, almost too tightly

[starrysurrealism]

what sort of reality the disconnect of our minds we try, to push through the noise only to hear static living life in a void

[starrysurrealism]

what part of my heart exists for you a dreamlike lie that I've come to you were the things I thought I knew yet reality shatters and the truth comes out your words were hollow meant to fill me with doubt

[starrysurrealism]

so overwhelmed I can't breathe even when I tell myself to take things slowly the world is closing in and I can't escape there is no choice to my life anyway

[starrysurrealism]

I stole the thoughts you never shared and held hope inside like a dare you hurt me more than I can breathe an emptiness, a choking feeling

[starrysurrealism]

growing in silt can I stand my ground as the earth quakes my heart shakes quickly eroding all hope

[starrysurrealism]

I'm about five seconds from crying I can't handle this constant need and these feelings of rejection that I bury beneath resolute as I may be to not utter a word I find myself drowning in the tears of thoughts left unheard

[starrysurrealism]

I can't hear you over the sound of my screams it's deafening and defeating I sink the absolution of their meaning the anguish that still keeps beating and breathing and pushing me to stay awake

[starrysurrealism]

I let my world crumble away the wreckage of my isolation as if solitude was my salvation

[starrysurrealism]

I think about time slowly slipping by and the meaninglessness of my life what have I done what have I become but existence without thought

[starrysurrealism]

what part of these words don't you hear I am living in grief and unadulterated fear can't you see what I've done to myself I've bent over backwards as though compelled so answer me this, while I try to fight through what is the meaning of being close to you

[starrysurrealism]

I can't stop this pain it follows me around lingering in ways I didn't anticipate what is this existence if not marred by the constant pounding a pulsing in my veins felt through all moments and amplified in silence

[starrysurrealism]

I cannot help but fear the realization that I've failed you that I've let you down when I wanted to make you proud the loss of hope tied to the strength of my will