starshifting333

[starshifting333]

me and my man courtesy of Kling ai ❤️

[starshifting333]

When I first discovered shifting, I had many s/o’s. Ofc, i lost interest and moved on to others. That’s how it’s been for the last (three?) years. The longest I retained interest was a few months. Until November of last year. I began watching a show with my stepdad called supernatural. Now this is cliche, but I had began to read fanfiction of a ship I liked (sastiel, please don’t attack me). I had this feeling while reading. But I didn’t know what it was. I wasn’t planning to shift to spn. Anyways, cut to a dream. I was lucid dreaming and minding my own business. I was sitting on a sidewalk in front of a store, when a car pulled up in front of me. I didn’t pay it any mind until Sam got out and walked up to me. I wasn’t thinking of supernatural or anything mind you. He offered me a cigarette, and I said no. I think it’s weird because I know Sam doesn’t smoke. He put it away and didn’t light up next to me. We talked for about few minutes and then he left. When I woke up, I knew. I knew that for whatever reason, he had found ME. Not the other way around. It’s true what they say about romance. You always find it when you least expect. After that, he appeared over and over again in my dreams, unbidden. Sometimes different versions.

That being said, there’s ironing wrong with multiple s/o’s. Some people are polyamorous and that’s okay.

[starshifting333]

I feel torn. Like, my heart in two. I want to be where my s/o is, but I don’t want to be in that reality. And there’s a reality I truly love, but my s/o isn’t in it. And every time I decide to think of a reality where he is, it just feels…different. I’ve never been conflicted like this in all of my shifting journey. I want the soul, not the reality. And in the other one, I want the reality but not my previously scripted s/o.

[starshifting333]

“There are genetic factors stopping some people from shifting.”

Oh brother.