starwalker42

[starwalker42]

It feels like this every time I write a fic

[starwalker42]

good smut is really a character study and that is final. i need it to be about vulnerability i need it to be about trust or lack thereof and most of all i need it to be emotional agony. thats what sex is for

[starwalker42]

[starwalker42]

Drabble prompt: angor animi

He fought it when awake, she knew that early on, but it was years before she knew he surrendered - a little - in the night.

“Box jellyfish,” she would have said to anyone else. “Pheochromocytoma.”

She curled against him in the dark of his mother’s death. Father and sister and mother. He wept as the forsaken wept when they hauled the bodies to the plague carts. When the loss was a stalking, tireless animal in the night.

Mulder, bereft, cried her name into her throat. She knew he wanted to join them.

Scully clutched him, in her slim arms, to life.

[starwalker42]

these are my mutuals. they know who they are

[starwalker42]

please please please please reblog if you’re a writer and have at some point felt like your writing is getting worse. I need to know if I’m the only one who’s struggling with these thoughts

[starwalker42]

writing is so fun

[starwalker42]

bitches be like "i love writing fanfiction" and then constantly second guess themselves because what if they're not good enough what if it's cringe what if no one likes it what if people laugh when they see it what if i mischaracterized someone what if i didn't tag it properly what if what if what if

[starwalker42]

do u ever get a comment on a fic thats just so sweet that ur like Maybe slaving over 24k of fanfiction was worth it for user SprinkleTrashcan2012 to leave a three paragraph comment

[starwalker42]

[starwalker42]

what they don’t tell you about writing is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHH!!!

[starwalker42]

the one thing i want to be able to do as a writer is make people come back to something ive written. i want that piece of text to haunt them, i want their thoughts to be briefly consumed by this. i want this to be something they remember long after its time. thats the one thing i want to do

[starwalker42]

*struggles while writing* i suck and writing is hard

*remembers some ppl use ai* i am a creative force. i am uncorrupted by theft and indolence. i am on a journey to excellence. it is my duty to keep taking joy in creating.

[starwalker42]

[starwalker42]

“i held you when you were a baby” is such a heartbreaking line because it’s such a connective and loving thing to choose to say but it’s also kind of the only thing. it’s their entire relationship to each other. he didn’t get to do anything but hold him for a couple of days. and the things that he did do like talk about him and write about him and dream about him and miss him and keep baby photos, don’t mean shit to jackson. it’s absolutely worthless to this scared teenager who has lost everyone. it’s absolutely worthless to this kid who grew up being tortured like a lab rat and who is in so much pain all the time. but mulder held him when he was born and that means something to mulder. it’s his memory. he delivers that line so softly like it’s almost hopeful, but there’s so much sadness in it.

[starwalker42]

Fic Friday (47)

Title: Liberation

Author: @starwalker42

Word Count: 1708

AO3 Description: Maybe they've given up with her, left her to die. Scully finds herself almost hoping that's the case: no more questions, no more fear.

My thoughts: Scully-in-peril and then some hurt/comfort is my kryptonite. I will just devour any and all fics with this trope. However, this one is a favorite that I come back to when I want to scratch that itch. The writing really makes you feel Scully's fear but also her relief when Mulder finds her. The ending is extremely sweet, too.

Enjoy! Tagging @today-in-fic

[starwalker42]

because this life will end

(the x files “tithonus” / taylor swift “lover” / the x files “the field where i died” / the x files “the unnatural” / the x files “pilot” / foo fighters “walking after you” / the x files “the red and the black” / j.r.r. tolkien “the two towers” / the x files “little green men” / the x files “deadalive” / greta gerwig “frances ha” / the x files “milagro”)