staticafternoon - Tumblr blog

[staticafternoon]

[staticafternoon]

sorry i covered your neck in dark hickeys and clamped down hard on your throat like limp prey while i was giving you a handjob. you whimpered a little too soft and i blacked out and believed myself to be a feral dog in possession of an entire rotisserie chicken

[staticafternoon]

the convocation of fourteen (fears)

[staticafternoon]

today in "google AI is fucking useless because it hallucinates things that never happened", i bought a couple CVS thermometers that have both been acting up, tried to search if there had been a problem with the whole product line:

there is no record of this product recall. it did not happen. the date "feb 8 2024" is the date someone listed a thermometer for sale on ebay.

[staticafternoon]

so much of ffxiv is about feeling that you've been scooped out and replaced by someone else. ysayle with shiva. minfilia with hydaelyn. lyse with yda. ryne with minfilia. graha with himself. gaia with loghrif. elidibus with zodiark, with his duty. venat with hydaelyn. the watcher. the wol, maybe, with azem. imposters and replacements and transformations, often brutally. such as it is in a cycle of rebirth + suffering

[staticafternoon]

https://x.com/tommchenry/status/1428891618770407428/

[staticafternoon]

adult hood is just

*buys a half gallon of milk* *uses it all within a few days* *decided to buy a gallon of milk to not run out before next shopping trip* *uses a teaspoon of milk that week and it goes bad somehow* *buys a quart of milk instead so it won’t go bad* *uses it in one day* *buys a quart and a half gallon of milk because the gallon was too much but the half gallon was not enough* *only uses the half gallon* *gives up on milk for a few days in general* *buys a gallon of milk again just to tempt fate* *somehow uses all of it without realizing and then has to eat sad cereal with like the 5 drops of remaining milk*

[staticafternoon]

it’s always chillest before the chuck

[staticafternoon]

word of the day: “woowoo”

definition:

[staticafternoon]

happy Mother’s Day to these two queens

[staticafternoon]

[staticafternoon]

i like my women how I like my men (body-stealing serial killers with a desire for revenge and an appetite for eyeballs)

[staticafternoon]

[staticafternoon]

There are ten trillion pictures of flowering trees to the point where they sometimes seem trite and overdone. But then you see a tree in full flower and go holy shit this rules and I've gotta show this to everyone so they can experience the same magic and wonder and there are ten trillion and one pictures of flowering trees

[staticafternoon]

[staticafternoon]

servant of many masters

[staticafternoon]

Hello! And Welcome to Taskmaster! Please welcome our five contestants! And next to me, a man who once told me in confidence that his wife has filled his house with chintz. To keep it real I fuck him on the floor. It's little Alex Horne!