staticsin

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my white boy named tanner who stands behind me and says "facts" called out today just fucking great 🙄

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You want to be mommy's little pretender. You want to take up the mantle of your deposed dynastic line and mount an insurrection aligned with a faction of political convenience. You are mommy's rightful Duke of Flanders.

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yup, pretty funny. (reaches down and picks up a random inconspicuous rock off the ground and turns the base of it to face you and you see that etched into the bottom is the joke you just made with a inscribed date from 5 years ago and my signature)

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In capitalist realist wigan it's easier to imagine the end of wigan than is to imagine gravy

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i will not be having an ipad baby. i will be having a Pea baby

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every time a new Star War movie or show is announced all the fans are like “OMG Glup Shitto is back 😭😭😭”

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knuckle tat that just says Hi

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no animal was harmed during the making of this video. not one. for the few minutes that we were shooting film, the guns of each hunter fell silent. the industrial bolt throwers observed a moment's peace and the jaws of every predator hung softly open. no fish bit any hook and the bait worms held off on drowning only until the cameras stopped. the tails of ruminants ceased to flick just as their attendant flies, in unison, landed on their flanks to catch their tiny breaths. a spider instantly stopped winding silk around a wasp, patiently waiting for the caesura to end. a young veterinarian paused with the syringe in their hand. somewhere, a colicky baby stopped biting its mother's nipple and nursed happily for the very first time. we're sorry. we're sorry it couldn't have been longer. we didn't know this would happen.

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of course you have blue curtains and subtext

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In Wigan, it's as good as Nothing

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“it’s circus work.” not to me. not if it’s my monkeys.

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In cyberwigan, it's a perfect simulacrum of gravy.

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As one approaches Wigan, the ability to meaningfully distinguish between it and gravy diminishes until the eventual zero point where by all metrics it is as good as gravy. Effects beyond this point are inconclusive as no research expedition has yet returned.

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hey asshole! you lifted up the rock and now I have to scuttle! motherfucker!

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Yep, that's me in the corner. You're probably wondering how I ended up in the spotlight losing my religion.