steeledwilled - Tumblr blog

[steeledwilled]

Should I just... archive this blog and start a fresh? Move some threads over? It’s been four years. But

[steeledwilled]

“Seriously?” Eyebrows raise with a laugh; he never thought he’d actually win her over. She HAS just dumped him after all. Yet they are still in each other’s lives — which says a lot for both of them — even if neither will say just why this particular ex is different than all the rest. Maybe it’s because they’re so locked into their quartet, but he’s dated friends and not care to keep in touch when it falls through.

He orders something mixed in lieu of shots, skipping the hard stuff since it’s her main reason for canceling their relationship. wasted Harry isn’t on her favorable list at the moment.

“I guess I’ll cover your drink tab then.” He matches her tone of neutral acceptance. Glutton for punishment may as well be on his resume. What does he hope will happen — she’ll wake up to scrambled eggs and suddenly question her life choices? Or is he only playing a bit to beat out anyone else vying for her attention with no actual plan outside of jealously?

The backs of his index and middle finger brush her skin as he slides her shirt strap back into place from its drape off her shoulder. “So what is your second reason?” He hadn’t missed her ‘MAIN NUMBER ONE’ listing of reasons from before which implies a following number.

steeledwill‌:

DEN is the right choice of words considering the tigress she turns into among clubbers and party drunks. No matter the room’s vibe she has a habit of instantly commanding it. gwen is a good dancing opponent though, when they all get out together or throw an impromptu soiree at his apartment with peter.

“if anyone needs a drink it’s peter.” he remarks offhandedly while finishing his own. her hesitation to answer leaves him wondering if he’s stumped her or maybe she’s taking a second to concoct some white lie. MJ has the gift of telling someone a lot about herself in a conversation, only to leave without having revealed a single thing. it is frustrating trying to date someone like that. if anything, she made him better at it himself.

“it’s been TWO minutes, Mary Jane,” he points out childishly and declines the bartender’s order to refill. might as well let these first drinks kick in. “what is this bachelorette lightning round?” he cried wolf enough times about hanging up drinking & pills that if he proposes that offer she’ll call bullshit. for someone whose genetic coding is lying it isn’t coming through in a pinch. “I could make you breakfast tomorrow,” which says something considering his skills are basic after a lifetime of other people preparing his food, “I doubt that’ll be a promise from anyone else here.”

           ღ   MJ SHOT HIM A GLANCE, ONE THAT WAS SLIGHTLY   DISBELIEVING    THAT HE WOULD EVEN SUGGEST A THING, SNORTING   as a genuine smile litters over ruby red lips, shaking her head as she looked down. shoulders shook a little as she withheld laughter, it eventually quietening down with her look traveling back to him. wow.   

❝    god,    harr  —  like that’s ever going to happen. maybe if he got   MARRIED   or something, perhaps, but parker wouldn’t touch alcohol otherwise with a ten foot pole, you know this.   ❞ she murmurs, knowing though that’s likely why harry   REMARKED   such a thing.

eyes roll at his childish point though left it where it lied considering he wasn’t wrong either, fingers resting on the bar top, sliding her drink closer once it was filled again, giving a nod to the bartender.  ❝    maybe   —-   you enjoying the show   ??   ❞ she retorts, tone not so much aggressive as it was teasing, finally, but raised a brow when he offers her breakfast. god what is he even going to concoct. or would he. would he pass something off as his and it not be   ??   either way its temping.   AND   it keeps her from home.  

fine.

❝    probably not. nothing good in the lay department either, as i said   . .   the den is full with serpents tonight. i think you might get what you want after all    —   i accept.   ❞

[steeledwilled]

Baby (2018—) Created by Antonio Le Fosse

[steeledwilled]

“actually, I was going to ask if you’d come with me — well, accompany me,” he adds with dramatic formality, “to the shindig at Frick Collection over on Lenox Hill.” It is a somewhat charity ball with admittance money going to restoring the art, but also dancing and one of the better atmospheres of the holiday events Dad shooes him to. “Personally I love not worry about knocking anything expensive over, that’s a plus.” Most of the art is on the walls and only in certain rooms. The building itself serves as a masterpiece, ornate and beautiful in every detail. It makes his mansion look like a college dorm.

Harry holds open the door to their proper exit mannerly to allow her first into the cold air where his driver is already waiting by the car to open those doors.

“I thought MJ and I were gonna go, but... y’know.” The car is certainly large enough that none of their bags have to be put in the trunk. “Not that you’re a last resort or anything! Just — good company.”

steeledwill‌:

it’s interesting having friends who posses the ability to be discouraged with him and still unfathomably pretty. pondering his offer with an unimpressed expression, straw now stained with pink color off her lips, she looks like those models who are standing off set before getting called back into the shot. naturally that meant mary jane is especially talented at giving him scathing looks while still being the billboard beauty whatever latest perfume designer has signed her to be. 

“THANK YOU. I’m glad it’ll help.” it certainly won’t absolve his betrayal of today’s SOBER RULE, but a tiny bit of assistance to Gwen feels better than none of at all.

texting his driver he deduces what exit is closest to them and follows her rather than leading. his inner GPS is certainly not straight on the mark at the moment, more a shaken compass than anything else. he’d be pretty lost without her in more ways than one.

           🎉   ❝    if anything it’ll simmer the quiet frustration i’m still sitting on. gain some points back in your favor.    ❞ gwen responds, tone holding a   slightly   humorous tone. bags of her own snuck back to her person thanks to a spare hand   —   allowing harry to cover the rest  ;  spare hand still gripping sweet drink between careful hand. blond curls bounce as she picks up a slight pace to keep up with the osborn as he strode off in a direction with his GPS.

❝     hopefully i’ll see you before christmas   —   do you have any charity balls or gala’s norman’s going to inevitably drag you too   ??    i have the police department christmas ball we get invited too but   ..   who knows what else will come up,   ❞ she starts, piping up for the   SILENCE  was deafening. 

[steeledwilled]

missgwendolyne‌:

So that was what relief felt like. Having her arm wrapped around a real, solid, and very much alive Peter made it feel as if all the weight on her chest had disappeared. It felt like taking a deep breath after two years of drowning. Fate it seemed had finally given her some reprieve. She knew that Peter being alive didn’t solve all the problems in her life and the world around them but it felt like being home again. “God I missed you so much,” she murmured into his shoulder as she squeezed him tighter.

She had gone two years thinking he was dead. Two years carrying around not only the guilt and sorrow of his death but the pain of knowing that she had abandoned him, but suddenly he was here in her arms and safe. She couldn’t be mad at him for this life, not when she was so filled with joy from being with her first love again.

 She lifted her head to study his face now that she was sure that he wasn’t just a figment of her imagination. He looked older but then again they had seemed to all age considerably with the trauma around them. “ I’m so happy you’re here and okay,” she said caressing his cheek with the pads of her fingers before tracing along his jawline. She hoped that he wouldn’t mind but something about being able to touch him felt reassuring, not only did it let her know he was real but that he wasn’t going to leave her again. 

As she committed his face to memory once more she couldn’t help but cry. They were mostly tears of joy, a result of the overwhelming emotions she was feeling. She wasn’t sure what else to say. What did a person say to their supposedly once dead first love? “ Have you been alright? I know two years is a long time.”

Peter was glad she was comfortable with already hugging him so tight since five minutes ago he thought she might never touch him again, out of fear he wasn’t real or worse he wasn’t Peter. It had been an eternity since his body fully relaxed. Surviving the Games left him jumpy and paranoid at every sound, barely sleeping and ready to fight the instant something or someone stirred him awake. After May and Harry arrived he slept a lot deeper and everyone else in Thirteen was glad his two loved ones took the duty of waking him up instead of them. Peter had woken up in the medical wing multiple times by nurses or doctors he then tried to jump or deck; a habit brought on by the arena. But as they embraced fully and he rested his cheek on her hair all of him every muscle veered from tightened anxiety to relaxing only enough to keep him standing. The sudden calm left Peter lightheaded. 

He watched every movement of her face when she spoke as though blinking would leave him alone. Watching her life through a screen was different than breathing the same air, seeing the varying tones of color in her eyes. But her touch barely felt real; the softness a rarity that always disappeared when he awoke from dreaming. 

“Awe, don’t cry -- if you cry then I’ll cry,” he smiled even though tears blurred his vision quickly. It was happy in the way hers was with that feeling of coming home after years of being away. He’d cried seeing Aunt May and Harry too, followed by MJ when she arrived with the pod from the Capitol.  

“Time... is different here. You do a lot of the same stuff with the same people around, so a day feels like a week or the opposite. I used to keep track of how many days passed,” he shrugged, “and then I just tracked time by what was going on with the Games. Your tour meant winterish - spring. Then Reaping Day was the summer.” 

His hands settled lightly at her waste, feeling how thin she was after being held captive with Annie and the others, “Did you feel like? Like it was weird watching the Games after you’d been in them? It was like watching my life, but with someone else living it. Peeta and Katniss... just spooky how I understood what they said or did in the arena.”

[steeledwilled]

notforgctten‌:

            ღ     ❝    like   THAT’S   really want you to do   —  while petey   IS   cute when he’s nerdy and utterly clueless  . .  there are times where i’d rather be out parting or clubbing rather. tonight was going to be one of those but it seems that i picked the wrong den to frequent.    ❞ she mumbles, shrugging one of her shoulders, ignoring that one of her straps was starting to slide off her freckled shoulder. 

she pauses when he asks her reasons, lips pursing some til the shot glass was brought to them and swigged it backwards, placing the glass down.   ❝   i needed to get out of the house. that’s main number one   —      ❞ she starts, raising a hand to get another drink for herself, looking back to harry.  ❝    clocks ticking on your answer, harr   —  hope you have something for me and for once    don’t   disappoint.   ❞

DEN is the right choice of words considering the tigress she turns into among clubbers and party drunks. No matter the room’s vibe she has a habit of instantly commanding it. gwen is a good dancing opponent though, when they all get out together or throw an impromptu soiree at his apartment with peter.

“if anyone needs a drink it’s peter.” he remarks offhandedly while finishing his own. her hesitation to answer leaves him wondering if he’s stumped her or maybe she’s taking a second to concoct some white lie. MJ has the gift of telling someone a lot about herself in a conversation, only to leave without having revealed a single thing. it is frustrating trying to date someone like that. if anything, she made him better at it himself.

“it’s been TWO minutes, Mary Jane,” he points out childishly and declines the bartender’s order to refill. might as well let these first drinks kick in. “what is this bachelorette lightning round?” he cried wolf enough times about hanging up drinking & pills that if he proposes that offer she’ll call bullshit. for someone whose genetic coding is lying it isn’t coming through in a pinch. “I could make you breakfast tomorrow,” which says something considering his skills are basic after a lifetime of other people preparing his food, “I doubt that’ll be a promise from anyone else here.”

[steeledwilled]

missgwendolyne‌:

“ Yeah, it’s just the main code for the front door, you know rather than having to buzz people in?” she said chewing on her bottom lips softly. Was it weird to have a code to get into your building? She had always thought it was fairly standard but the scrunching of Peter’s brows said differently. 

She was nervous enough about telling Peter the truth, the whole truth, and now she was standing in the hall second guessing everything. Maybe she should have just shown him rather than trying to turn their gift exchange into an elaborate surprise. “ Thanks for being willing to change locations. It means a lot to me.” 

And really it did mean a lot to her. It would feel amazing to finally come clean and especially after he had done the same. When he had told her that he was Spiderman she had wanted to confess right then and there but she knew she couldn’t have. Safety first, the big house rule. Steve letting her finally share this part of her life with someone was a huge deal. She just hoped that Peter wouldn’t be too mad that she had kept it from him. 

“Gwen it’s not like a problem.” He chuckled, wondering why she seemed so elusive all he sudden. Was coming over that much of a secret mission? She’d been to all of their houses, but they hadn’t been to hers. He never thought much of it to be honest, but wondered what it looked like. Maybe like the inside of her locker, but everywhere? 

He’d have to keep track of his time there so he wouldn’t miss patrol. He wouldn’t have to make some lame excuse to leave thankfully. Except to her dad if he was there. Okay his relief at a lack of excuse disappeared at that realization, but maybe Gwen would help him out. She did to Harry and MJ. 

 “So same time? Is your Dad gonna be home?”

[steeledwilled]

redjackettm‌:

                                    ‘ SHE wanted so much for things to go back to the way things were, where things were easier, when HARVEY didn’t know about her magical abilities. even though she was lying to him, he at least still WANTED her then, hadn’t LOST his brother, didn’t have his father drinking all the time. she bit down on her lip, inhaling the familiar, strong, protective scent that harvey had. she loved him so much — she couldn’t help but let a few tears fall as he talked about not being able to forget it all. she couldn’t EXPECT him to forget it all, especially not with how magic ruined so much for him. she WISHED she could show him how great magic could be, how SPECIAL it can be. she wanted the chance to show him, to make him see that it wasn’t all bad. 

                                           “i don’t want ANYTHING to ever hurt you again, harvey and i’’m so sorry that … that your experience with magic has been so awful. i …wanted so much for you to … never be hurt by this life i have. i only EVER wanted to help you, harvey. i never wanted you to be hurt.” she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment or two, a few tears coming out. “someday i just … i HOPE you can look at me the way you used to, you know? the way i would catch you looking at me, with those sweet, loving eyes of yours … “ more tears fell, silently. “do you think … do you think you ever could?” she knew the answer was no. there was no way it ever could. “i hope i’m still MAGIC to you, because the most magical part of my life has been meeting you.” 

He hadn’t met anyone who understood him as much as she did. The only competition for that title had been Tommy. The quietness that enveloped the room after his answer meant her sadness still lingered, not needing to look at her to see tears slope down her cheek. She could have made him forget her admittance of being a witch the second time and blamed Tommy’s death on suicide the way Harvey had lied to his dad. Except she HADN’T. Why? She’d erased the truth before . . . had lying finally weighed on her shoulders for too long?  Roz & Susie --- as weird as it was for them didn’t have the same scars he did.

She didn’t have the same look either upon seeing him. After the night of the 13 witches, Sabrina always appeared startled when he walked into the room and uncertain. Each slowly talking through sentences to gauge if they’d say the wrong thing, slipped into being too honest or breaking the mold of parts they played now. This felt like the past, back when they things without filters. Or at least he had. “Is being a witch always going to be dangerous for you? The kind that pulls you away.”

[steeledwilled]

Carla Gugino, Oliver Jackson-Cohen and Victoria Pedretti attend Netflix’s ‘The Haunting of Hill House’ Premiere afterparty at No Vacancy on October 8, 2018 in Hollywood, California.

[steeledwilled]

“secretly we all love angst” Sentence Starters

dont deny it DONT DENY IT 

“It never works for us, and it never will.”

“I’m done. I’m done trying so hard only for you to never even look in my direction.”

“I can’t fall in love with you.  I don’t want all the pain that comes with it.”

“My roommate had to go into my room and throw the sheets away because I haven’t been able to sleep in that bed since you left.”

“I keep asking myself “why isn’t the sun bright anymore” but then I remember you’re not in my life anymore and realize it’s just my own eyes.”

“I regret it all.  I really do, I swear.  Please, please– let’s fix this, please.”

“Remember when you promised we’d always be together?  Because I remember when I thought you meant it.”

“I can’t move on from something that wasn’t supposed to end!”

“The phone calls aren’t the same… I can hear in your voice that it’s not the same anymore.”

“I’m trying to avoid talking because I know what it’ll lead to, and I don’t want that to come.”

“Don’t you think you can fall back in love with me?”

“This whole time I’ve been using you to make me feel better, and you never caught on.  You never caught on.  I want you to hate me now, but I don’t think you’re even able to.”

“Kissing me breaks the promise… remember?”

“Every time we fix things something else ends up breaking.”

“Why don’t we stop pretending we’re not on a road to destruction?”

“It wasn’t even fun at first, honestly.  It was just like… Morphine.”

“You’re just not enough anymore.”

“It’s been too long since you’ve really smiled.”

“Ah, it was all my fault.  Wasn’t it?”

“To think, we thought just the sex would be enough to keep us in love.”

“Back then, I lied when I told you I didn’t love you.  You needed to move on from me– I needed to protect you from me.”

“You never had that shine in your eyes when you were with me.”

“Quit trying to fix me when you need to just fix yourself.”

“I’m so tired of everything about us, and about how we thought we were in love, and how we think forcing it can make us be in love– I’m so tired of it.”

“This whole time you’ve still been in love with him/her… Not me.”

“I couldn’t make you fall in love with me.  I thought I could do it, I really did, but… But I know you… And this isn’t love.”

“Did you really think I needed that kiss back then when all that you conveyed in it was pity?”

“To think I’ve changed so much to get you to like me, and you still never really look my way.”

“I know I deserve better than you.  I realize that, but you were so broken… I didn’t want to be the one that made you shatter.”

“All of this was to protect myself.”

“I feel like I’ve been looking for who you used to be… Back when you were actually happy.”

“I never want to even hear your name during my life anymore.”

“Your lips used to be sanctuary, but now I just feel trapped.”

“Isn’t it time we both stopped pretending we make each other happy?”

“The thing I regret the most is giving you so much hope by agreeing to this date.”

“We have the kind of history anyone would never want to think about again, and you’re hear asking me on a date?”

“What makes you think I’ll be any different this time?”

“I’ll let you down.  I will always let you down.  I’m not enough for you to be satisfied.”

“Are you satisfied with the mess you’ve created out of me?”

“I should have listened to everyone who told me this was a bad idea.”

“I’ve never met someone who can so gently destroy me the way you do.”

“I can’t forget about him/her!  It’s not in my power to forget how he/she felt when they loved me.”

“The saddest thing is that when I told him/her I loved him/her, he/she thought I was lying.  He/she never believed someone could fall in love with him/her.”

“Listen…  You’re his/her best friend… and I completely fucked up– it’s over between us, but… please, punch me, or punish me, or do something to me because he/she just… cried.  He/she wasn’t even angry, they were just so sad– Please, be angry at me, please.  Give me what I deserve.”

“It would have been better if we never met.”

“You’re my regret.”

“I’m not angry at you, just at myself… Because I knew this would happen, but I let myself fall in love with you anyways.”

“Don’t tell me to give up like everything is meaningless.”

“This is why I don’t let myself fall in love.”

“Somewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that you’ll fall in love.  How pathetic.”

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Baby (2018—) Created by Antonio Le Fosse

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bill skarsgård & odessa young ‒ assassination nation. (2018)

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tell me a story (2018–)