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After DNA testing I discovered I am 31% Irish. With Irish being my highest percentage, I was incredibly excited to be visiting Ireland. Belfast was my favourite city. We walked the Giants causeway - stunning! Then visited Belfast. Our fellow travellers who I call 'the bewildered' were too scared to visit the peace wall, instead went trinket shopping. So we grabbed a black cab there, our driver was so passionate about explaining the history, it was an amazing experience. We had no idea the gates were still shut at night time - the war carries on. We kissed the Blarney Stone and apparently are now eloquent!! A lovely man, threw my head down the hole so I could kiss it, then forced it back up again, thanks for that, I had vertigo all day. Next we visited the Scottish Highlands. The 'bewildered' didn't hold a candle to our tour guide. He must have been 100, a walking encyclopaedia of useless information. We were held captive on the bus and had to listen to his rendition of "You take the high road and I'll take the low road" - I would have preferred to poked my eyes out with folks!! The Orkney's - so picturesque, every where we turned another fabulous view, the weather has been amazing. The 'bewildered' are becoming more difficult to deal with, not sure how but it takes them half an hour to get off the bus! One old fella on his motorised scooter reeved it up and drove into us all trying to exit the cafe, he wasn't allowed of the bus at our last stop - the cliffs of Yesnaby, clearly they were worried he wouldn't break!

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The start -

First stop, Santa Monica, great food and even better shopping. We arrived into London to balmy end of summer weather, 28 degrees and a bank holiday weekend. Once again great shopping. London is definitely a favourite city, it's so picturesque and clean and its history is so engaging. We enjoyed The Phantom of the Opera. Caught the train to Hampton Court - stunning! Went to the Pink Floyd experience - amazing! Next stop, Southampton- cruise time. Normally you get a big mix of ages on the cruises, I believe we're the youngest on board! Perk, were the only ones in the gym. Ahead of us, behind us, fellow travellers (Americans) unable to lift their legs, they just shuffle at the speed of snail, oxygen tanks in tow. They hog the lifts unable to walk up or down the stairs, ride their mobility scooters up your heels, how they'd get of the ship in an emergency?? Princess Cruises motto is "Come back new" I'm not sure there going to come back at all! We are an hour late leaving Guernsey, it appears 4 of them are lost!

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Blog 6 - Venice

It's raining relentlessly, our lift to the ferry never eventuates, we call for a taxi but a 45 minute wait means the unthinkable - not only do we need to walk the stairs of hell but in the rain, pulling our suitcases or we'll miss the ferry. Yep this is melt down day. 4 drowned rats arrived at the train station. I have never been so wet! Mr Map toddles off to change and Courtney and I follow only to find him in the girls loos - he thought he was in the boys! Could today get much worse. Oh yes. We arrive into Venice wet thru including bags and contents. Our rooms look like a Chinese laundry with washing hanging everywhere. I've ruined my shoes and jacket buggar will need to shop for shoes and clothes tomorrow - Mr Map thinks I'm kidding - I'm not, it all needs replacing 😁 So we head for the Gondola ride I pre-booked and paid for only to be ignored and told to go away. Shitty little Italian twits aren't getting away with that - I'm in full steam bitch mode when the 'big' boss who speaks fabulous English not like the motley crew who will only speak in Italian so you can't understand a bloody thing, simmers the situation down and says ok 6pm ride. Now the issue is we saw two ladies fall into the canal from their boat and I'm thinking I've caused such a scene I hope we won't be ditched overboard. We weren't, the ride was great and thankfully theres no mosquitos and foul stench, just thousands of bloody tourists we thought we left behind . Still don't love you Venice but your growing on me.

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Blog 5 - Bellagio

Sadly we leave Bellagio tomorrow. It wasn't easy getting here, we trained from Milan to Varenna then caught the ferry to Bellagio in 30 degree heat whilst pulling our suitcases, well some of us, Courtney played the Dad can you take mine and he did! That was until we realised on Sunday no taxi. So we pulled our suitcases up and down roads with no footpaths and looney Italian drivers looking for an opportunity to take us out on very corner. This was going to be our first major meltdown but then we saw the apartment on the water at Pescallo and all was forgotten. It was crazy gorgeous beyond our expectation. We have cooked with local produce - delicious! Have delighted in the scenery from every window. What we haven't enjoyed is the stairs from hell! To get to town you are tortured to walk the short cut - the stairs, I've not counted how many there are as I can't breathe whilst walking them. I hope I don't pass people as I sound like I'm taking my last breath! We head to Venice tomorrow. Venice and I haven't had a love affair, so it will be interesting to be back there and see if the mosquitos are still the size of golf balls and the stench is any better. Note to the Aussie family below us - I understand why resorts are child free now!

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Blog 4 - Milan & Verona

We took the fast train to Milan going over 300 kph and it felt like 30 - nice. 31 degrees 😱 dare I say it, too hot to travel in. We seem to be on holiday with half of Europe! It's crazy busy, Italy must be the preferred destination at the moment as I've never seen it so crowded with tourists. Travel tip #3 - dear American tourists, if you can't do more than a shuffle, please pull to the side & let us pass. I have come to realise there must be an age we need to stop traveling by. Clearly the tourists here haven't - if your pulling your oxygen tank behind you maybe it's time to call it quits! Just saying. We've arrived into Bellagio and so far were still talking to each other. We've had a few I'm going to kill HIM moments when map man (aka Grant) gets us lost and we all loose our shit with him. Taxi 🚖!!

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Blog 3 - Rome ❤️

Rome is one of my all time favorite cities & I'm grateful to be back. It's abundant history & rich culture is never ending, just like the food. Omg my paleo life went crashing out the door. The gelato - I simply cannot get enough! Let's just hope I can get my jeans on, probably coerced up with a coat hanger at this rate. We've experienced a Faulty Towers restaurant, Manuel included. The bread was so stale Lauren needed her (strongest gin she's ever had) to get it down as she was so ravenous. It was difficult to hold it together as they were screaming at each other in Italian with their hands moving faster than their mouths. It's been quite a source of amusement watching the Italians vie for Courtney's attention. She's been proposed to, kissed at, touched up whilst sitting in church, gawked at by the wider Rome community - young and old. At lunch instead of paying they asked if we'd leave Courtney as payment. I think Grant secretly hoped she'd take the proposal! We've been doing our washing and it appears a pair of my undies may have left our deck and be on the streets of Rome 😱

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Blog 2 - Zurich

For those of you still asking, yes I still have orange eyebrows - doesn't look like this is going away as quick as I might have hoped. The one thing we never gave much thought to on this holiday was the fact Lauren & Courtney would attract as much attention as they have been and how to deal it. Whilst sitting in the Langham Lobby of all places, Courtney was playing Pokemon Go oblivious to anything or should I say anyone. Mr USA stopped at her feet to her horror. His initial line was I like your shoes - she had old chucks on so she didn't buy that one. After 5 minutes of persistence, she unleashed the bitch & drove him off only for Lauren to have captured it on her phone to Courtney's horror. Zurich was beautiful, unfortunately we arrived into rain & fog so the alps didn't come out to play but neither the less a pretty city with lovely people and the food - delicious! Our trip into Rome was uneventful till the old fella in front of us farted and was clearly quite proud of himself wollowing in his stench - air plane etiquette # 2 don't fart on planes! Have just arrived into one of my favorite cities - Rome ❤️

[stefftravels1]

BLOG 1 - Hong Kong

Beyond excited to wake this morning, our six month from hell ordeal finally behind us & Hong Kong here we come. That was until I looked in the mirror to check my spray tan ..... You might be thinking I looked like Ross from Friends when his spray tan turned him orange. You'd be wrong. In fact it was my eyebrows that turned orange! After my spray tan I made Courtney tint my eyebrows which reacted with the spray tan turning them orange 😱 lesson to be learnt here!!! Yep I'm travelling with orange brows! There was a flight on the plane between Lauren & Courtney over who had to sit with me - me! Apparently I move around too much trying to get comfortable and I have too much stuff jammed in my bag under the seat. Let me clarify that stuff in the bag, travel documents, pain killers, tissues, water, mints, magazines, money, all of which they ask for during the flight but the most important thing I'm carrying is Courtney's passport after the Las Vegas pink wallet incident. We've already had our first blonde Courtney incident in Hong Kong, bless that child she makes our holidays fun!

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Stephanie Travels turned 1 today!

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Blog 6 (Singapore)

Last day in Singapore sitting in the pool trying to squeeze the last of our holiday out.

Homeward bound tomorrow. Glad we’ve still got a dog to come home too, tho after running away from home, she mightn’t be too pleased to see us anyway! All thanks to Courtney for holding down the fort and rescuing Poppy.

We’ve had an amazing month away, enjoyed many new favourite places. Tried a variety of new sometimes delicious and sometimes inedible foods. Enjoyed meeting many people from all walks of life and all corners of the world.

My next mission is to write a blog on travel etiquette for the people we did meet who clearly have no idea how to conduct themselves whilst on holiday. Your rudeness astounds me. And to the old biddy behind me on the plane who pulled my hair getting up and down all night on route to Singapore, shame on you!

The last sight in Singapore - to the man who pulled off his budgie smugglers and put on his nickers in front of me poolside - it wasn’t pleasant!

See you back home in the best little country in the world ❤️

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Blog 5 (Amsterdam & Belgium)

Quick flight into Amsterdam and into a different pace of life. Leave everything behind and step into a chilled zen. Very easy to ramble around this laid back history laden city. Have relished the fabulous art we've seen. Anne Frank's house was a major highlight, very moving experience. You need to keep your third eye in check for the bloody push bikes here, they come at you from every direction. We experienced riding around Amsterdam ourselves which was adrenalin filled to say the least. At one point the lights turned from green to orange and I thought I should continue on to keep up with the team. Wrong! A tram was coming at me fast, tooting madly, think it missed me by a hair. Well freaked! We went for a canal cruise which will always be memorable for all the wrong reasons. On board was full of mostly Chinese tourists all chattering away ten to the dozen. The captain asked them to be quiet, once, twice, three times before screaming at them, throwing his microphone and storming of the boat due to their rudeness. Really didn't blame him! Popped down to Belgium and gorged on chocolate's and waffle's - delicious but yep my jeans are still tight! Our last tour was out to visit the windmills, freezing and poured down all day. The day started off in panic when we got a txt to ring Lauren as Poppy had been 'taken'. Panic over, Courtney has her back home after an adventure of her own. Did I mention Grant has had the man flu and what a love, he's passed it on to me. He thinks as I'm sick I won't be able to shop - silly, I'd crawl all over Singapore if I had too! Actually his luggage was over the limit leaving Copenhagen, not looking too good for him!  Lasting Impressions - Amsterdam is an impressive city, picturesque, a labyrinth of streets with a new view on every corner, a city with something to offer everyone. Have immensely enjoyed our time here.

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Blog 4 (Estonia, Russia, Finland, Sweden)

My expectations for St. Petersburg Russia weren't huge but gosh did you surprise and delight. Beyond fabulous. Your treasure trove is magnificent. The rain finally found us in Finland. From what we could see thru the rain showers, it is charming and picturesque. Sweden and Estonia are both picture post card stunning. Absolutely loved the Baltic, the scenery is beautiful and the people warm and hospitable. As I previously mentioned, we name fellow passengers on tours who irritate fellow tourists. The most appalling couple were from Mexico, we named them Pepe and Chiquita or the selfie King and Queen. For two days thru Russia they took 10,000 plus selfies in front of every statue, artefact, mirror, door frame you name it, they've got a photo. The selfies who are four foot nothing squirmed and pushed there way ahead of everyone in line like over exuberant children the night before Christmas. Pity they didn't enjoy the experience of where they were - I guess they've got the photos ah! There were others - shoe bitch, wore heels thru the cobblestone streets for five hours and finally twisted her ankle. The cough, sounded like he was going to bring up his lungs when he coughed thru the whole tour of Berlin. His wife looked like witchy pooh - and acted like her too! The pusher had an arse bigger than all the Kardashian's put together and used it to part the crowd to get to the bus. Ahh the sights we've witnessed. Thankfully the incredible places we've been, the beauty of the Baltic has been worth every minute of it all. Last day on the floating buffet of calories, I need to get of this ship - I can't fit my jeans! Lasting impressions - I'm in awe of the beauty and treasures I've seen in the Baltic. Cannot get over the splendour of St. Petersburg, just incredible. 

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Blog 3 (Norway, Denmark, Germany)

We set sail for Norway on the Regal Princess along with 2000 odd others from all corners of the world. You meet all sorts on the ship, the loveable yet loud mouth Aussies, know it all Yanks, blue rinse brigade and no comprende's. To our horror we even met up with Fan boy again. First stop Oslo, a rather small sleepy hollow but neither the less Norway's capital. We met Silva our tour guide or as Grant called her Brian's mother from 'The life of Brian'. For the next 3 1/2 hours we were screeched to with a tone not unlike a cat stuck up a tree. She regurgitated the same facts repeatedly. At one point Grant declared why Lauren and Courtney must listen to music on tours, to drown out the white noise coming from tour guides and did I have my ear pods with me. If I did they would have been in my ears long ago! Yesterday we visited Berlin. A mixed bag of old and new. Seeing 'the wall' was a highlight. Thankfully it's a changed world we live in. Today we're going to the sanctuary on the ship for some pampering and a relaxing day at sea. This means no children - what a blessing, but it doesn't stop the dribble coming out of our fellow passengers mouths at decibels even the whales could hear! Princess's motto is 'Come back new' - I've eaten that much food I'll be coming back to Jenni Craig! Lasting impressions - beautiful countries, lovely friendly people, interesting history.

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Blog 2 (Copenhagen)

Note to self, don't leave medications in hand luggage, it appears airport security think I'm carrying drugs. I've been patted down, my luggage was swabbed for narcotics and I've been asked to - stand back from your luggage madam. All the while Grant has walked off laughing and when I do catch up to him there's no are you ok, just tears of laughter. I feel a big spend coming on! Copenhagen or the happiest city in the world is gorgeous! Your not in Kansas anymore - I'm definitely in Europe, the dress code is tres chic and I'm loving it. People watching has never been so good. Grant on the other hand is desperately trying to steer me clear of the shopping district. Fool, it's just around the corner from our accommodation. Speaking of which when we arrived and were shown around, his little face got quite pale when he asked what we'd paid for the room. Yea that teaches you for laughing at me!  Every tour we've ever done, we come across at least one unusual or down right annoying person. Today it was 'fan boy'. Yes we name them all! Fan boy pushed and shoved his way around the bus and the castles all the while holding a battery operated red fan to his face. He was of course American! We popped into see the Queen today, but sadly she wasn't home!  Tomorrow night we leave on our cruise of the Baltic, very excited. We've loved everything about Copenhagen, it is truly a beautiful city rich in history. I may have a few purchases that the one who pays the bills doesn't know about!  Lasting impressions of Copenhagen, beautiful people impeccably dressed, bike riding madness, very windy (many bad hair days) and fabulous food and wine, it has been sensational! 

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Blog 1

On route to Zurich, Tokyo completed. After a long haul flight with a wee incident of spraying hydrater into my eyes, not onto my skin as per Courtney's instructions & incredibly hard seats (you need to address this Air NZ) we arrived into Narita to hot temperature's and high humidity, yep - there went the hair! Unfortunately Narita airport is 1 & 1/2 hours from Tokyo - whoever designed that - really! So another 1 & 1/2 hours to reach Tokyo with a bum I could no longer feel. Sight seeing was packed into a very tight schedule. Mt Fuji wasn't covered in cloud like we were told it probably would be, so we got to see it - albeit with no snow so I guess it looked like any other mountain. Away from the concrete jungle of Tokyo, Japan is green and very pretty. It must look amazing when the cherry blossoms are out. We had 'Judy' or motormouth the yank that never stopped talking on the bus in front of us - bloody hell take a breath woman! On the tour of Tokyo the guide was telling us about the coffee shop with the cats you can pat whilst enjoying a coffee. Instead of our free time being hustled to the souvenir shops to buy trinkets made in China, I decided Grant could get a coffee and I could pat the cats. Up to the 6th floor on an elevator I wasn't sure we'd actually get out off, we were greeted into a room 5 X 5 over run by cats. But .... no coffee! I got 'the look' from Grant to say good on you after we were told the price to pat the cats. Now these aren't cats like we have at home, no they have half tails, no tails, bent tails, tails and apparently you don't pat them - you hit them hard on their backs and the love it - what?! Lasting impressions of Tokyo, lovely people, not a place I could live due to the had hair days & a city which must have the most vending machines in the world! But thanks it's been great.

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LAUREN TRIED TO TEACH ME HOW TO BLOG!

Opps she just screams and laughs at me, think this might be the end of our Mother daughter relationship!