stephaniamorris-blog

[stephaniamorris-blog]

October Awareness Month. To every strong amazing woman out there who has suffered or who is on this current journey. You truly are hero's 💗(My story) I want to share this because I don't think everyone understands how much your world gets thrown upside down. (And believe me, it does). I was told about my Mum's Cancer a few days before Christmas Day. The worst Christmas we had as a family as we were left in such an unknown territory about how far Cancer had spread or what grade it was and you do start to think, will this be our last Christmas with our mum? In January 2017 Mum was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer.                         Mum went and had surgery and under went further treatment, she had chemotherapy and radiotherapy over a period of 1 1/2 years. Trying to live a 'Normal Life' (whatever that is).After being told and mum starting treatment we went about the norm family everyday life. I was going to work coming home looking after mum (after shift work) repeating the same thing over again a few days later. (Sleeping became overwhelming to say the least, I was running on coffee). We would take turns on taking mum to hospital appointments and staying with her, you don't seem to mentally prepare yourself for 8 hours + watching the person you love grow tired and exhausted. Then there were times we did laugh out loud, I think to keep sane you have to laugh through some difficult situations. The hair loss massively impacted my mum, she never coped with loosing her hair. Her hair was one of her main features to her and her body image. Mum did get a few different wigs but she never accepted wearing them so she stuck to hats or a wig with a hat for going out, but would always say how warm and horrible it felt on her head.                                                                                                                                          Mum taste buds changed drastically and each day was a challenge to make sure she was eating or drinking something to keep her body fulled but this was a hard task! Being involved socially with my friends took a great impact, I am quite a social person, wanting to be out with them, but catching up would be the quickest catch up ever. (My friends are truly amazing and supportive) However, I would be mentally and physically exhausted so I'd be in bed for 7 pm!! (Bonus it was a dream😍). Work-life became a Work-life, which by this I mean not really enjoyable. I was always exhausted or worried and it created new emotions which lead to me being very anxious with anxiety attacks. No one prepares you for the experience and changes in your life, how could they? there is advice and support but it's kind of left to how you to how you deal with these new changes. I di have feelings of guilty some day's, but that's only because my mum wasn't my mum and it was hard work. She was no longer this crazy outrageous woman I looked up to, she had lost all her confidence and it was an extremely tough situation. I was sat down a few months later by my mum and her sister and was told that my favourite person in the world (Nana T) had also been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. (It was a kick in the throat) at this point, I felt so numb that I did have to come out of work for my own mental health. (And this is ok to do Health comes first!) (Getting to terms with a new chapter of my life) I had to learn how I could become indestructible and always put on a happy face. I did on the end have to accept that it wasn't weak to accept help in the end, after all I am human. (So now for the positives 👍🏼) Counselling helped me a lot!! (I finally went) the fact people were listening to me and gave me a shoulder to cry on was truly amazing. (A swearing colouring book was the best thing I purchased to help with emotions and therapy). Even though I felt guilty it was me crying about it, it was about time I accepted the word Cancer and what it did do to my family. We look at our elders as indestructible , but they are not and sadly my Nana did lose her battle to cancer. My story is one of the millions and I could go on and on with my experiences. And I hope one thing from anyone who reads even if you are young/old/daughter/mother/son/father/friend/family, to anyone who has someone in their life going through the same kind of thing, make sure you also SPEAK out and accept the help there is. My amazing mother is in remission now she is 2 years cancer-free. Mum went in and she kicked its arse!! And she is still fighting to be the person she was but even better! (She is a reborn survivor) She speaks to women every day who have been through or are just being diagnosed and she shares her story. Mum was blessed by women who shared their story it massively helped and supporter her. So time to get into trouble but here it is, I am sharing these pictures. This is strong, beauty, power this is beating CANCER. #togetherwecanmakeadifference 💗#cancerrightnow