stfudiscoinfernoed - Tumblr blog

[stfudiscoinfernoed]

just a reminder that BetterHelp is selling your fucking data and that they themselves have said at industry meetings that they're a data-driven company more than a people-driven company

It feels like for a while in there that people were dropping them as a sponsor but now that the controversy has slightly dimmed there are so many ads for them again; do not give them your information, do not give them your money

I know insurance is a pain in the ass and mental health treatments cost too much out of pocket for most people. So do they, that's why they're making this little bait and switch operation. Helping people is, at best, a side product of their data harvesting, and at worst just a trick to lure people in.

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may i follow even if i disagree with some of your stances? i’ve seen posts of yours advocating against biphobia and would like to interact with that even as a pro-queer person. i won’t harass you or respond to posts i don’t like or w/e if that’s okay.

Im not super active at the moment but I don't really police my followers unless someone is actively a terf/bigot.

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@toadtoaster "i think aces and aros count as queer too. arguing that they’re not oppressed enough or not queer enough is the same argument that a lot of biphobes use to argue that we also should be excluded."

It's not about oppression olympics. The lgbtq community is not a community of lost souls or even a community of marginalized genders/sexualities. Women are a marginalized gender but not all women are queer. Polyamorous can be considered a marginalized sexuality but not all polyamorous people are queer. The lgbtq community is functionally a coalition of people with shared history, experiences, and needs. That doesn't exist with aces/aros and in fact some of our (community level) needs are contradictory.

Cis aroaces and cis straight aces/aces weren't with us in the gay and lesbian bars getting raided by the police because we dared find a place to express ourselves and our desires. They weren't with us when the AIDs epidemic was viewed as a just punishment from God, when we were buried under names we no longer used, when we were denied visitation and thrown out of our homes because our relationships weren't recognized, when we cared for each other when no one else would.

You know where they have been? Policing our displays of affection and trying to call us privileged for feeling an attraction many condemn us for. Trying to guilt us and shame us for not handing over our resources and networks we worked hard to build.

Aces/aros being legitimate and deserving from advocacy is a seperate thing from being entitled to queer spaces and queer identity. They have as much claim to queer as kinksters and polyam people: none if they are cis and straight or cis and aroace.

Usually when someone says they're just "queer" it's mostly biphobic bisexuals but often times it's polygamy/kinky/"aspec" cishets

Most people I hear using the term in general are people who can't reclaim it at all but it's a convenient word to claim to be part of the lgbt community without actually being lgbt

We need allies back no one wants to be an ally anymore

This hasn't been my experience. Most people I see who use queer are LGBT, but they have also decided that queer must encompass whatever other identity they have: ace/aro, poly, kinky, etc. There are definitely cishets and cis aroaces who call themselves queer but ime they aren't as large of a portion. This is what I consider one of the most frustrating things about acecourse. It's largely an intracomminity thing that the cishets don't care about, but you'll have like a panromantic demisexual argue you're a facist because you don't consider all aces/aros oppressed queers.

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Look, I'm really happy that people are able to express themselves and be open and out, but goddammit if I don't want to scream "learn what bisexual actually means" to every one who comes out as pan.

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Telling someone bisexuality isn't inclusive because "bi=2" is like say someone isn't really lesbian unless they come from the isle of Lesbos.

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YOU hate terfs

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Usually when someone says they're just "queer" it's mostly biphobic bisexuals but often times it's polygamy/kinky/"aspec" cishets

Most people I hear using the term in general are people who can't reclaim it at all but it's a convenient word to claim to be part of the lgbt community without actually being lgbt

We need allies back no one wants to be an ally anymore

This hasn't been my experience. Most people I see who use queer are LGBT, but they have also decided that queer must encompass whatever other identity they have: ace/aro, poly, kinky, etc. There are definitely cishets and cis aroaces who call themselves queer but ime they aren't as large of a portion. This is what I consider one of the most frustrating things about acecourse. It's largely an intracomminity thing that the cishets don't care about, but you'll have like a panromantic demisexual argue you're a facist because you don't consider all aces/aros oppressed queers.

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This post has gotten weirdly popular with radfems today and I just had to block a ton. If it isn't obvious terfs are not welcome on my posts. Terfs are some of the worst offenders of the behavior mentioned in the original post because of how many view bisexual women in relationships with men as being traitors or "tainted."

Not to get into this again, but it's seriously disturbing to see how some people talk about bisexuals in m/w relationships. I legitimately saw someone tell a bisexual person to be careful not to "center themself" in mixed orientation lgbt spaces because they were in a m/w relationship. The stereotype that bisexuals are greedy isn't limited just to sex, but anything a bisexual person does. When we talk about our bisexuality, its us being greedy. When we bring our other gender partner along, it's us being greedy. If we want bisexual specific resources, greedy. If we assert biphobia is its own prejudice outside homophobia, greedy. We're greedy for attention, time, resources, etc.

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my favorite thing abt the ppl who use the term queer bc ~they’re just so complex~ is like.. 9 times out of 10, they’re bisexual. I’m my experience, anyway. They’re like “oh golly gosh im just such a unique individual~ I love ppl of all kinds and presentations~ woe is me tho– if only there were a term that is widely used in lgbt spaces and gets the same point across without saying and identifying as a slur :((”

They are either bisexual, a cis person who will date trans and nonbinary people, or use at least two microlabels.

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People who use queer because their identity is too complicated to explain should go outside and touch grass. A single label is not intended to define your entire being.

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Still so funny to me how LGBTQIA has become one of the most common versions of the acronym but if you asked anyone about like... what the specific advocacy needs of asexuals and aromantics are, what rights are being infringed upon, how have they contributed to "queer history" and the lgbt rights movement, etc you'd get basically no answers or something about visibility.

Like, the performance of using the correct acronym or not gatekeeping has reigned supreme, but there's been very little to actually address what real similarities and differences there are between lgbt issues and ace/aro issues. Sure you can say lack of visibility has lead to poor research, but shouldn't yall have been fighting for that and not the right to call yourself queer?

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I saw someone claim that being a top or bottom wasn't real and was invented by yaoi

I 100% believe this.

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Saw someone say that only gay and bi men can be tops/bottoms and it's just... have you never met a lesbian or bi woman?

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Highly recommend having a social group with a large age range. You get to see that identity exploration doesn't stop when you turn 30.

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Notice anything? These are all the multi flag pet toy sets from the target pride collection. Not a single one has the bisexual flag but all of them have the pansexual flag. The lesbian flag is also completely absent.

I don't know who the designer was, but I know their terrible opinions.

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Queer theory ruined queer politics.