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i don’t know why, but that’s kind of unsettled me.

sooyoung had a point. my dad was gone for almost a year and a few months around the period that she was born. in the same place too. fuck, i need to call mum some time and see what she says.

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tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired

but hey, i have a show to do and i can’t skip it tonight because my boss will kick my ass like last time wahoo. my ribs fucking hurt man

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By Luis Coelho

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i have been so stupidly drained for no reason.

like can i please just be allowed to have a breakdown on someone’s arm. please?

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oh my god i don’t wanna be in a group chat where all those two are doing is talking about fucking each other. like jesus

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what have you been doing to pass the time? anything new you’ve discovered, or significant events that have unfolded in your life?

i’ve just been working more with the self producing stuff in the middle of all of the shows i’ve been doing. it’s been a bit weird trying to keep myself to myself, but i suppose i’m doing okay with it all.

if 100 people in your age group were selected randomly, how many do you think they’d find leading a happier life than you? 

all of them. i don’t think my life has been happy since i moved to korea. not knowing what my future holds is scary and that’s sm’s fault yeah, But it’s just... caused so much anguish.”

has any one person ever made you so angry that you couldn’t forgive them? 

i’m not really one to hold grudges. people can walk all over me and i’d still love them to pieces.

if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else. what would you want to know?

i wouldn’t wanna know anything. it’s more fun that way

what’s the fondest memory you have of a person you haven’t talked to in ages?

we walked down to the pier and just sat and talked. it was a moment i don’t think i’ll forget.

what do you attribute the biggest successes in your life to? how about your largest failures?

myself. i’ve always been a hard worker and yeah, sometimes i work myself to the bone. but it’s better than being stuck. my biggest failure? i’d probably say myself too. sometimes self doubt is crippling.

what is the worst/funniest thing you’ve done drunk, but don’t remember doing?

slept with a label worker. she text me in the morning and i was like ??? what no.

the scariest thing you went through last year? tell us the valuable life lesson you learned with it? if you learned

i was terrified i was going to lose my job. we hadn’t worked for months, things were getting stressful. my job as a leader was to make sure that things were settled for them and it honestly.... just felt like i didn’t do anything to keep them safe. but no, i learnt not to trust sm. that’s what i learnt

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i don’t know why. last night was strange.

the show went well, like it always does. i sat and watched the money go into my bank like normal, but hearing people moving around just unsettled me.