still-livingroots - Tumblr blog

[still-livingroots]

I wish you knew how I loved you, given you one of the little lights in my heart, given you one of the colours of my sunset. That i told you how every touch was a tiny spark from the fireworks on new years day. That i never slept better than when your fingers could trail along my hair, tangled in the sheets in the early morning breeze coming in through the open window. But I made you leave just before the days had shortened and the storms took over the skies again.

[still-livingroots]

What if this time I can't find my way back to me anymore.

[still-livingroots]

Let me drown in the crimson river, their hands pulling me under, just beneath the surface, to see through the reddened reflection.

The raindrops now haunt my skin, dragging me along its lazy river, slowly watching through the rosy haze, then I caught you looking back at me.

[still-livingroots]

Give me the time to tuck it away, wherever, in your front left pocket, buried beside the sycamore tree at the end of the avenue, behind the bookcase under a layer of dust, give me the time until you are ready to find it again. Allow me to tuck away our last memories, in a park with a light spring breeze, laying in the last sun patches of the day, underneath the oranging sky, just so these moments can be spent in tranquillity. Because without these moments of you that I can carry with me in my pocket, I forget who I want to be.

[still-livingroots]

The hope in you was unfounded but still I was dumbfounded, bathing in the sliver you gave me when for a second your existence acknowledged mine.

[still-livingroots]

How can I believe myself to be capable of kindness, when such monstrous anger lies dormant in me, and when it awakes, feel such disdain for those with perceived responsibility. How can you deceive yourself to be capable of kindness, with such disregard for those around you, when you place yourself on a pedestal, and expect to be watered in order to feel rewarded with growth.

[still-livingroots]

Stay unchanged and stagnant, Stay between the up and down, Stay on this still barren island, Stay, stay, stay. Stay. Stay in the words of the existant past, Stay until the infinite tea has gone, Stay put within this dreamy land, Stay, stay, stay. Stay. The carrousel will not be stopped, And everyone has gotten off. Footsteps followed along the winter white, It has been an oversight. What once was has ceased to be, Now and for evermore the vial will be empty.

[still-livingroots]

The pages were filled, with penstrokes and drawings. It used to be in the water, on the grass and in the shadows under awnings. The words no longer scattering, like dandelion seeds on the wind. All the penstrokes and all the drawings, now needing to be as precise as a blueprint.

[still-livingroots]

I would never have thought our tomorrow didn't exist, and I never would have thought that our ares would turn into weres.

[still-livingroots]

Our paths must have crossed in the meantime,

the trajectory of our footsteps just minutes off.

The plants wouldn't grow,

our garden lay barren.

Maybe that's why our footsteps overlapped and we never did.

[still-livingroots]

You're long gone,

in the pillows on the couch,

between the sheets and in my house.

You're no longer where i wish you'd be,

but now it's too late.

The in is gone where it was never needed,

and the pieces of you no longer have a place to go.

The lies i told i wish where true,

have slowly slipped out of existence.

For you are long gone,

but the places where you'd fit,

have turned into shadows of what could have been.

[still-livingroots]

I'm drowning myself in books in the hope that it'll keep me afloat amongst the memories of you.

[still-livingroots]

I made you miss the train, but now im angry you're not here.

[still-livingroots]

And then the fireworks stole the glance that was supposed to be mine.

[still-livingroots]

The hands were steadily unsteady and pushing against her heart, lungs, and neck, until there was nothing else but enemy lines.

[still-livingroots]

For all that we are, and all that we are not, we still love.

[still-livingroots]

What if when the summer ends, we won't stay the same.