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bro misunderstood "fuck the british" 😭😭🙏🙏🙏

i'm not putting this on my main because i don't want people to see it

they're just kissing guys get your mind out of the gutter

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you have to draw brandt as that one pic of peter griffin in the bathtub I'M TELLING YOU NOW YOU HAVE TO O IT

no

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sfw no penith or bagina

no

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no

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hiii ily pookie 🥺 pls drop brandt bathtub pic

no

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heh dont worry zro take your time,, apologies for the lack of info i wanted in my fic that was my first time requesting for something so i didnt want to ask for too much........... -the person who requested the ameferry x reader

my jacob freaks are getting delayed because i'm burnt out you're not the only one. so sorry </3

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how would they be with baby fever

okay horndawg

i'm not doing barry because i don't like him and barry fans don't deserve to be enabled

Prussian Officer

rehashing all my earlier statements, he would NOT tell you about it because it's cringe and weak to him. but he would stare daggers at any child under two years old he catches sight of, hoping you might catch a hint but it just ends up making him look like a creep. it gets to the point where again, you'd have to confront him about it but this time out of genuine concern to make sure he's not like... into them. he'd get flustered and embarrassed but dump all his feelings about wanting a baby out onto you.

Jacob

he wouldn't say anything either, but he would definitely give you more hints than Officer would. i hc him to be very physically clingy, and if he was under the influence of baby fever, he'd be 10 times more clingy. usually a tighter squeeze of the hold he already has on you and a sidelong glance when he catches sight of a kid. he'd look you in the eye, not saying a word but still managing to get the idea across to you.

American Ferryman

upfront about it. literally shameless about asking, on his knees begging for a child. pouts and whines if you say no, but will eventually let it go if you really don't want to. he'd still throw lighthearted shade in that case. the only issue is if you say yes, he'd say he would want 80 billion kids instead of giving an actual number. even if you say 2 or 3 is the cutoff, he'd eventually convince you to want 5 to 6 of them.

Jean

not upfront about asking, but also not ashamed of his baby fever. he'd drop small hints when seeing a kid passing by, like "oh, wouldn't it be something to have little ones of our own?" something tasteful yknow? he's respectful about asking for children just as he is with flirting. he's not a vulgar man, even when it does come to more intimate subjects. he'd be broken-hearted if you said no, that's one of his main goals in life.

sorry for not writing more i'm kind of scatterbrained right now

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yn and karl dancing around their obvious big fat crushes for eachother to the point its painfully obvious but they still stay 'oblivious'

this has been sitting in my inbox collecting dust for months i'm so sorry

no matter how stubborn you could possibly be, Karl would be 10 times more stubborn than you. he's too up on his high horse to ever admit any sort of weakness, especially when it comes to romance. he'd never been a particularly romantic person, and it felt sappy and foolish when he finally tore down the mental block and realized he had feelings for you.

So, he ended up avoiding you.

yo ass is getting GHOSTED. he won't talk to you, look at you, etc. if he sees you in the hallway he's in, he will make the conscious effort to go down a completely separate hallway. it gets to the point where you're thoroughly convinced that he hates your guts.

it gets to the point where the two of you can't stand to be in the same room, it's just too awkward. the tension in the air is obvious but Karl does not care at all. he's taking the initiative to avoid you.

the only way you managed to get him to talk is by practically trapping him in a room and making him talk.

then he absolutely unloads on you, saying the cheesiest romantic shit he's been keeping pent up all this time.

what happens after is up to you <3

sorry it's late and i don't really have the brain power to respond to these properly

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hey guys. long time no see. uh. to the person(s) that requested the american ferryman thing. it's uh. in my drafts.

I PROMISE I'M COOKING IT'S JUST TAKING ME A LOT LONGER THAN I WANTED. plus i got distracted but anyway here's a new fresh off the press fic for you in the meantime

Healing the Hero Of Leipzig (2030 words) by stinkywinky2843

i promise american ferryman will come. it will be asap. if i don't get distracted by doing another chapter that is.

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guys i'm still alive i promise alive and well i've been stricken ill with a project and only recently have been freed from said illness so i will get to work on that i PROOOOOOOOMISE

to whoever sent the ameriferryman x american reader thing I WILL BE DOING IT I'M JUST HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE THINKING OF A SCENARIO RIGHT NOW SINCE YOU WERE VAGUE so don't worry your bald little head off i'm not ignoring you i'm just thinking

also the karl x y/n thing with like the oblivious crush stuff it's also getting done my production has been severely delayed by an overwhelming haul of art block i apologize

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to whoever sent the ameriferryman x american reader thing I WILL BE DOING IT I'M JUST HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE THINKING OF A SCENARIO RIGHT NOW SINCE YOU WERE VAGUE so don't worry your bald little head off i'm not ignoring you i'm just thinking

also the karl x y/n thing with like the oblivious crush stuff it's also getting done my production has been severely delayed by an overwhelming haul of art block i apologize

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karl pegging please this is not squeaper

okay sure buddy and no i don't feel like it

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karl blalalala LIKE YOU PROMISED

i lost effort guys it looked like shit so i gave up making it look really makey-outy

this was the prequel to the fanfic below

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karl blalalalalalala write edition friskaaayyy

or all of then if you want heh eh ee he he e

ok FREAK

CW: Suggestive? Making out ig there's more description of Karl eating then the making out

i may post this to AO3 soon but it's under maintenance as of now so you'll just have to deal with tumblr for now

Update: It's on Wattpad here's the linky poo

anyway here we go

𝓝𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓑𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓭 (𝓚𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓞𝓯…) Prussian Officer x Russian Infantry Reader

You stood at the doorway of Karl's room carrying a tray of small biscuits and a kettle of tea. Those were his favorite, you knew. He'd never admit it out loud, but you knew he absolutely loved the butter ones. They weren't too sweet, and went well with a cup of Schwarztee. Making sure to stabilize the thin metal tray in on one hand, you reached out with the other to grab the doorknob. Opening the door, you found Karl sprawled with his long limbs sprawled out on his bed. He was in his usual garb, his officers uniform minus his boots. It always baffled you that you had never once seen the man in casual wear. Not even to sleep. You'd never stayed the night with him, though, so he might change right before bed. 

"Hey," you said casually as you closed the dark wooden door behind you. Karl only gave a grumble in response, fiddling with the augilettes strapped to his shoulder. The room was pretty dark, as it usually was, aside from the 3 small melted candles he kept on his bookshelf. The curtains were closed, but a small sliver of orange light from the setting sun outside shown down onto the beaten up floor. You set the tray down on the desk and took the plate of biscuits and one teacup off of it. The sound of the hot liquid being poured into the cup filled the room before you set the kettle down and walked over to Karl's bedside. You placed the cup on the small crate he considered his nightstand, as well as the plate. One of his eyes opened slightly to glance at the items, and he perked up a bit at the sight of the biscuits. Sitting up with a slight groan, he muttered a small "thank you" before immediately reaching over to the plate. You smiled down at him, shaking your head, and turned around to go fill your own cup. It wouldn't surprise you if the plate was empty by the time you got back over to him. You both sat around for a while chatting, drinking, and enjoying each other's company. Once you noticed he had finished his biscuits and tea (teabiscuit reference? /j), a thought popped into your mind. 

"You know, Karl," you began with a smirk, "there's something we haven't done yet as a couple..." Karl grumbled under his breath at the sound of his name being said. It's the only thing he hasn't gotten used to since the two of you got together, being called by his first name by an inferior. Much to your annoyance, his personality mainly centered around his position as an officer. He always had a wall built up around himself and pushed you away when you attempted to ask him anything remotely personal.You couldn't blame him though, he was obviously masking the horrible shit he went through as a kid (which he told you at one point with very concerning nonchalance). Karl glanced over at you, his sharp eyes narrowing slightly in curiosity. 

"What is it?" he said, folding his arms together over his chest and leaning back against the cold wooden siding of the wall. The ratty old cot that barely fit his body creaked under his weight as he sat back and crossed his legs. With a smug expression, you sauntered over to the cot as well and sat down next to him. You leaned into him, wrapping one arm around his shoulder and leaning your head against the other. A frown spread on his lips, and if you didn't know him you would probably be offended by the reaction. He always made that face at any advance. It made him feel pathetic to be vulnerable around anyone. 

"We've never french kissed before," you whispered into his ear in a sultry tone, giving his deltoid a slight squeeze, "I think it's about time we tried it." Karl looked over at you in confusion at the word "French". He tilted his head to the side, raising an eyebrow.

"I do not believe speaking French will change how the kiss is," he stated, completely oblivious to the innuendo behind your suggestion. You chuckled to yourself and gently grabbed his chin, turning his head to make him look you in the eye. 

"That's not what I mean, моя любовь'," you said teasingly. Karl's pale cheeks flushed a bit at the pet name. 

"What is it, the-"

You cut him off abruptly to press your lips against his. His green eyes widened in surprise at the sudden advance, but he made no effort to resist. Expecting a kiss that you two normally shared, he wrapped his arms around your body and kissed you back. He pulled you closer to him and slowly changed his position on the bed. Now in a more comfortable and accessible sitting position, you could get what you wanted. With your hand on his jaw, you gently coaxed opened Karl's mouth and let your tongue delve into his. A surprised squeak escaped him at the sudden intrusion. His body tensed up and froze, as it often did when he was in shock. You felt yourself struggling not to smile, thinking back to the connection you made to Karl's nervous reactions to things. It reminded you of a goat. The ones that went stiff and fell on the ground when they got scared. After a moment of letting you explore his mouth, Karl pushed you away and gripped your shoulders tightly. You quickly removed his hands from his body, terrified you had crossed a boundary he never mentioned. His head hung low and his back heaved from the effort of trying to catch his breath. His forehead pressed against your chest, making his dark hair bunch up in the front. After a moment, he tilted his head up and sat back up straight, looking you dead in the eye. His cheeks were stained a brilliant pink, and his face was hot to the touch. 

"What was that...?" Karl asked quietly. You'd never seen him so flustered. Sure, a hint of a blush crossed his face here and there, but now... this is different.

"That was a French kiss, родной," you responded, putting a hand back on his jaw, running your index down the sharp line of the bone. Karl ran a hand up through his dark heather brown hair, his mind struggling to comprehend what had just occurred between the two of you. Despite how utterly embarrassed and shocked he was, he couldn't lie that the idea of trying it again sparked his curiosity. A silence filled the room before he spoke again, his voice wavering slightly. 

"I would like a second try... I did not get enough time to form opinion the first time." You gave him a smug grin and grabbed his face again. Before you repeated your earlier action, you couldn't help but squish Karl's cheeks a bit with your thumbs, admiring the adorable flush on them. Once you kissed him again, he didn't hold back this time. His hands found their way back to your waist and snaked around them, pulling you into his lap. Karl sighed against your lips out of sheer bliss. He allowed you to turn his head to deepen the kiss, and he didn't protest when you began to use your tongue again. In fact, he started to kiss back, and his tongue eventually met yours. You two stayed like this for a while, eventually stopping when Karl began to feel light headed. He leaned back against the thin mattress of his bed, his forearms keeping him somewhat upright. You got off of him, and crawled up beside him to absorb his warmth. The both of you laid back into the pillow, completely spent from the makeout session you just had. Your hand trailed up to Karl's cheek, and you poked him softly with one finger. His nose curled and his brows furrowed, and he was scowling again. You let out a laugh and snuggled into the crook of his arm, slowly drifting off into inevitable sleep. 

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where is my blalalala 😈😈 the clock is ticking

it'll be done soon i'm making sure it's bueno (i'm like a quarter through just calm your tatas person i totally don't know)

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Hey hi how are you so aggh how freaky on a scale from one to ten are we allowed to be

uh okay i don't really know yet i'm just kind of testing the waters right now i mean you can send a request for something and i'll see if it can be done but i will repeat again please keep your dignity when asking stuff because I will be judging you /j (I don't have the resources for ref) but maybe a 6.5 to a 7

if it seems like i'm ignoring you there's a 15 to 20% chance i am and the other 80% is me struggling to make it not look like dogshit

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pioneer hat nsfw

i'm adding something to the no no list