stonebricks-and-darkoak

[stonebricks-and-darkoak]

yknow if my school told me I got exposed to covid in their building and now have to quarantine I think that'd be kinda epic....

[stonebricks-and-darkoak]

where's the brain's off button I don't want a headache

[stonebricks-and-darkoak]

[stonebricks-and-darkoak]

deadname? um, I think so

[stonebricks-and-darkoak]

yknow I think it's really fucking unfair that I can't just photosynthesize in order to finally have energy to try to fix all these fucking problems that have piled up like what the fuck

[stonebricks-and-darkoak]

sometimes I gotta question how much I rely on internet references to try to communicate my situation/feelings because I really went "this is the folkpunk whitecastle"

[stonebricks-and-darkoak]

hey brain can we be allowed to express emotions other than "happy jokester" without feeling like a piece of shit making people feel bad for no reason

[stonebricks-and-darkoak]

my rational thoughts: you've just haven't been able to interact with them for whatever reason the last few hours-

my anxiety: they all have better things to do and there's people more important than me I'm ending up alone again because I'm back as the second to eighth option again

[stonebricks-and-darkoak]

finally having a group of friends that actually connect with you and have mutual feelings vs the feeling of loneliness and "if you were gone I'd change nothing and they wouldn't even notice" returning

[stonebricks-and-darkoak]

my mom and sister: what do you want for Christmas?

me internally: a binder and being out without having to come out

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asmr I fucking hate the realisation that through talking to people I don't like the way someone I'm trying to reconnect to reminds me of those just toxic people and I hate it

[stonebricks-and-darkoak]

posting vents left in drafts part 2

my brain let me have a sense of being wanted challenge

[stonebricks-and-darkoak]

posting vents left in drafts part 1

I don't know what to say when I see you hurting. I don't know what to say when you aren't either.

I could be the reason why you don't do it and I just stay quiet as always. Don't even have words to fumble over to it least let you know I'm here. You need me, and I don't know what to do.

I want to. I want to be here for you. I want to be the reason you and a shoulder to cry and for you to know how much a love you and I haven't been able to properly talk to you in what feels like over a week.

I'm supposed to do something. Say something. You want to keep you safe and I don't and it's because I don't have the words. I want to try to fill that void you say is there but I just don't. I just don't do it. Why don't I do it?

[stonebricks-and-darkoak]

I think hearing the people around me irl call me by my "real" name could be what's making it confusing if my brain considers it my dead name

[stonebricks-and-darkoak]

people who are over the age of 18 before you say/do shit online stop and think of the context of something and ask yourself "should I say/message this in relation to a minor?"

sure you ment it lightheartedly but that's a fucking underage child there buckaroo

[stonebricks-and-darkoak]

oh yeah here's the comic

asmr I've confined it with two of my friends and I can say I experienced chest dysphoria for the first time today

[stonebricks-and-darkoak]

haha I think I might be experiencing chest dysphoria for the first time because I can't stop thinking about how I have a chest and feel like this image because of it