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“nobody is making you do this” i am driven by unnatural forces you will never even begin to comprehend
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ok i was supposed to get some work done today, but after like a month of not playing warframe and not seeing my bestie, FINALLY both things happened aaand there went my whole day [i say this with LOVE it was very fun]
and then i got engrossed in my daiten art bc all my fellow dait mods have been putting out these banger adopt designs and i feel so inspired TcT so i wanna... join the party...
so bc i'm proud of what i'm cooking, here, some non-fic art for you lol
#paramour rambles#paramour scribbles#paramour is dait posting again#here's what y'all gotta know about me: i have two fixations#one of them is honkai/avencae which has a real stranglehold on me#the other is D A I T E N S my beloveds#they're a closed species created by kingsmiggles and they saved my life#shout out to daitens they're so fucking cool#hence. i made my blorbos into daitens LOL#wait i have a third fixation it's warframe#it's the oldest of the three#been playing forrr like ten years?#i've got 5k+ hours in the game#i wish i could see my honkai hours played...#alas... WAIT THERE'S A FOURTH FIXATION#shiny pokemon <3#sorry it's 3am i'm not collected#TIME TO SLEEP AUGH
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yes... kill that bitch... you're so close...
#paramour rambles#don't mind me i'm just cheering for my own downfall#well. the downfall of my old voltron fic#this is for the hits count#the voltron fic is my second most popular fic and i want it dethroned#not bc i hate it i'm just competitive with myself lol#also it's like 8 years old holy fuck#now you might be wondering “wait what about your first most popular fic?”#that one deserves its place on the podium <3#it's almost a decade old and the writing reflects that but it's so special and important#fun fact: it's also for a fandom rare pair#i am the rare pair fic author hero if i do say so myself#that's what the readers tell me anyway#when the tag is 90% orgy fics of 5k words or less... you know it's dire#ANYWAY. kill the voltron fic and take it's place let's fuckin goooo
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Shout out to characters who want to be used. Shout out to characters who are so desperate to be worth something that they'll endure anything. Shout out to characters who build their entire self worth around being useful, being a tool. Shout out to characters who don't care how they are treated, as long as someone pays them any attention at all
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reason #??? dr ratio is fun as fuck to write
if you told me this actually happened in game and i just forgot about it, i'd fuckin believe you
#telestrata log#looking forward to this chapter hehe#things are Moving Along#it's about fuckin TIME ack#i'm almost at 50k words now#that's the minimum word count for a novel#a whole fuckin novel#and i've barely begun#we've only just hit the rising action imo#aaanyway#i'm getting a head start on the outline phase#might as well take advantage of being ahead of schedule#i have no idea how long it'll take to write this chapter#i also get the feeling the word count will be... uh... big#WE SHALL SEE#get ready for everyone being really dramatic while caelus narrowly avoids having an emotional breakdown and going catatonic#honestly hadn't realized how fuckin stressed out he ends up in these early chapters#it's just one thing after another!#yeah buddy that's how stories tend to go#and you're this one's protagonist :]
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Chapter 8 - Flash Point
Small snippet from the latest chapter of my fic, Stonewound Heart, which I'm posting over on Ao3! It's our favorite HSR cast, but with a cosmic horror flavor and a lot more violence. Check it out!
#honkai star rail#hsr fanfic#hsr caelus#hsr#avencae#this one's for you my fellow avencae shippers#all six or seven of us lmao
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Thinking about thylacosmilus

Dude you're so fuckin' teeth. Everyone's so focused on your chin being a teeth sheath that they don't notice your forehead is made of teeth.
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Big fan of romances that revolve around two very strange individuals weirdo maxxing together
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going to bed early before my nerves break me (but also i'm sleepy)
#paramour rambles#said it b4 i think but i've not been sleeping well the past week#maybe longer#and now there's road work going on...#hopefully they finish today??#or whatever they're doing i hope it's either fast or quiet or both
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looking ahead and thinking, yeah... yeah it would be nice to hit chapter 12 by the end of the year if it means i get to write that...
#telestrata log#i am also thinking “oh god are all the chapters gonna be 10k words now”#there are complete fics out there shorter than that#siiiigh i'm so fuckin cooked#alternatively. instead of writing 4 chapters i could write 2 chapters and finish some of the “stonewound histories”#those are constantly rattling around in my brain lol#i neeeeed to write out DH's and march's backstoriiies#or anyway. how they boarded the express#and i wanna write more about aven and topaz#how they met + got to know each other better#AHHH THERE'S TOO FUCKING MUCH#a problem entirely of my own making
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it's posted... i die (for now)
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yeaaah we all saw that happening
BUT. it's done. or anyway it's in a state where i'm done with it. so... i'm just gonna post it and move on with the damn thing ACK
[with a strained voice] that's... slightly... better...
at least there's only one lil bit left to write, and then it's time for round two of revisions, and MAYBE i'll be able to cut back there??? fuck if i know. sorry friendos it's looking like this chapter is jut gonna be CHUNKY and i can't do anything about it
#telestrata log#i wanna hit 10 chapters by the end of the year#i just gotta commit#two more chapters left...#actually i've still got 4 months left in the year#hitting ch12... ISN'T out of the picture...#we'll see what the next four months have to say about that tho lol
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ok well no one can say i didn't TRY, as evidenced by all the previous telestrata logs
guess i'm coming back with a chapter almost twice as long as any other WHOOPS
[with a strained voice] that's... slightly... better...
at least there's only one lil bit left to write, and then it's time for round two of revisions, and MAYBE i'll be able to cut back there??? fuck if i know. sorry friendos it's looking like this chapter is jut gonna be CHUNKY and i can't do anything about it
#telestrata log#hope it's fuckin worth it WAUGH#last night i was just thinking about avencae intimacy but we're not there yet sobs#they won't be normal about it#that's what makes it FUN
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.
#paramour rambles#how do ppl find posts that aren't tagged????#i mentioned in a post thinking about a b3t@ reader but i didn't tag it that way#and i've gotten two responses from ppl claiming to be b readers#but they have like 6 posts on their blogs#is that sketchy?? it feels weird#also you're a stranger idk you#anyway. no i am not looking for a b reader atm#that's a fat “maybe” for later down t he road#ideally from someone in a shared community who i know
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[with a strained voice] that's... slightly... better...
at least there's only one lil bit left to write, and then it's time for round two of revisions, and MAYBE i'll be able to cut back there??? fuck if i know. sorry friendos it's looking like this chapter is jut gonna be CHUNKY and i can't do anything about it
#telestrata log#i did early on say that might happen#but i was hopeful that MAYBE... it wouldn't go longer than 8k words#ahhh i'm so naive
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I must not delay task. Delay task is the mindkiller. Delay task is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my task. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the task has gone there will be nothing. Only completed task will remain.
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why must the first scene be THREE THOUSAND WORDS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
me at the characters i'm writing: shut up shut up shut up shut uppp
#telestrata log#trying to decide if there is ANY WAY to chop it up or compress it further#while still communicating all of the important information#and showing all the important interpersonal moments#and inner monologue stuff#i wonder if a beta reader would ever be in the cards#terrifying to think about bc i'm Fragile and this is supposed to be a self indulgent project#but also. would be good prep for later down the line when i want to actually publish a book#brace myself for criticism and learn to apply it#unfortunately i'm so isolated from other writers#idk where to even START#problem for indefinite point in the future me potentially maybe
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