stonejuice

[stonejuice]

It recently came up in conversation with my toddler that some birds can talk, and this has caused her great concern.

See, we were talking about how movies are pretend and how in real life, animals don’t talk. I mentioned that there are some birds who talk a little bit, but not like the animals in movies, and she just looked at me like “???”

So I informed her that some kinds of parrots can copy sounds that people make, and can learn how to say words. I thought this would give her a giggle, as fun new facts often do, but she was just deeply perplexed and a little worried about this.

“Birds can talk?” “Do they ask questions?” “What do they say?” Why do they talk?” “Do chickens talk?” “What about Blue Jays?” “Why do some birds talk?” “How do they talk?” “Birds TALK???”

We showed her a video of a parrot doing the “Hello, pretty bird, give a kiss” thing, and she was dead silent the whole time, hugging her comfort pillow with her knees to her chest. We asked if she wanted us to turn it off, and she shook her head. But we also asked if she wanted to see another one, and she shook her head even harder.

I don’t know why it has distressed her so greatly to learn that some birds can mimic human speech; but then again, I don’t know why it doesn’t distress the rest of us more to know that some birds can mimic human speech.

I keep thinking about that post that’s like “The first person to hear a parrot talk was probably Not Okay.” Because that’s exactly what happened. She had never been introduced to the concept, and her entire worldview got SHOOK.

[stonejuice]

please, mr. jepsen is my father, call me maybe

[stonejuice]

I felt straight up downright left out in there <- sentence composed mostly of directions

[stonejuice]

Anybody's grandparents looking for a third? Trying to inherit a house.

[stonejuice]

[stonejuice]

it’s crazy that they’ve invented online robot sex slaves for men but not cigarettes that are good for you. our society’s priorities are so fucked dude

[stonejuice]

[stonejuice]

[stonejuice]

i'll probably delete this but. "what butch dyke isn't a little bit of a gay boy sometimes" this one, actually. in fact this butch dyke is actually a gay girl. a girl who likes girls. a lesbian, you might even say.

like look. i understand that butch dykes and trannies both have complicated and varied understandings and expressions of our own genders and sexualities but like. it gets a liiiitle tiring how much butchposting is all about he/him pronouns and tme butches on T and being a husband and a daddy and being a gay boy like. i'm actually a girl who likes girls. yknow like a lesbian, remember? from dykes? remember your favorite game wlw? we used to play girls kissing, remember?

[stonejuice]

My personal favourite theory for why elves, grey aliens, and Mothman have all consistently been described as having roughly similar features is that humans throughout history have been equally bad at identifying owls.

[stonejuice]

most surgery is cutting edge because they cut you. with edges

[stonejuice]

“hot girls hit curbs” “hot girls can’t drive” “hot girls can’t do math” is there anything you guys CAN do besides romanticize your ineptitude

[stonejuice]

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

[stonejuice]

have you taken pills with anything other than water? yes (tags) no my meds are bald

[stonejuice]

there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

[stonejuice]

corm

[stonejuice]

Hey, I have a question, so a group of construction workers has recently built a nest outside my home and seem to want to spend the summer months there. They've already started construction on a project, so I assume they're healthy, but is there anything I can do to make sure they get the nutrition they need throughout the hot summer months? Do I need to have a steady supply of beer or energy drinks?

construction workers are expert foragers and don't take well to interruptions, so the best you can do is leave them be.

if you want to encourage them, however, you can spend three to four hours on the street watching their project with your hands clasped behind your back. this makes them feel like they are doing a good job