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stonesatglasshouses · 6 years

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What is happiness to you?

Is it a feeling? A certain aspect of your life maybe(work/family/friends etc)? Maybe you feel its only momentary, or non existent at all for you? Is it only found in a states of intense pleasure? Well if you answered with ' it's actually a state of being'(or something similar), then we have something in common and you may enjoy/appreciate this article moreso than others. If none of the above applies to you, then buckle in or quit while you're ahead cause it's going to be lengthy and you might have to have to do a bit of thinking. There is probably also some content that may be slightly uncomfortable for some individuals to hear and/or feel. Whatever the case, the ball is in your court now..

Joy is a feeling associated with a state of happiness, right? But its not the be all and end all of its definition is it? True happiness comes only when one finds contentment with their entire existence as a whole. It's not only found from experiencing the joys within it, or how 'perfect/normal' life can be. We must appreciate and learn from all aspects of life in my opinion..

Yin and yang, dark and light, good and evil, pleasure and pain, you can't have one without the other.. We may have heard it all before.. But do you still find yourself questioning wether you can be truly happy with both joy and sorrow in your life? Many of us say yes you can be! It's a fine line to walk on, and you will most likely have to try harder than ever before, but true happiness is definitely attainable for each and every one of us. Just look around! There are so many happy people (and other beings!) trying to help heal the world and spread a universal love, but their voices are being outshadowed by the cries for help and painful screams of a dying global society and the ecosystem in which it is sustained. Are you struggling to find happiness in the battle of importance between the evolution of society and economy? What do those words even mean to you?

As a fellow human who's also fighting this battle to my own capacities, I truly believe we all have the same potential in regards to 'attaining' the states of happiness most of us desire. But all too often do we find ourselves lost in amidst the chaos of our world, and it's hard not to feel lost when we all feel so deeply, but also struggle to connect with each other on an emotional level. From what I've seen in my short time here, I've found this struggle to connect is usually due to diferences of opinion, lifestyle choices, personal preferences and/or experiences, and some of us as individuals who simply don't want to out of laziness and/or fear(whatever that fear may be.) To put it in other words, we all experience both pain and pleasure in its many different forms, maybe not for all the same reasons, but definitely because we're all part of the same human experience..

Are you still following? Or have you decided this is a bunch of cow plop and don't really want to continue cause you've heard it all before and decided you don't have the time? What made you want to read this in the first place? Was it because you were drawn to the word happiness? Was it because it was a question you felt applied to you personally? Was it because it was a question in general? Or were you on 'auto pilot' and just clicked the first thing you saw? Maybe you may have even just stumbled upon it by chance? Regardless of your answer, you're here because you chose to be on the internet for some reason, and found yourselves here in one way or another. Maybe it's a want to connect with something? Or to feel something other than boredom, numbness or loneliness? Maybe it's something much more complex than that? Whatever the reason, I sincerely thank you for making it this far..

If you should be interested enough to keep reading, I'll pose to you yet another another question; If we can all agree we're human, does that necessarily mean we agree on our humanity? We certainly don't all agree on how it should function, that's as clear as it will ever be. In saying that though, we're getting there slowly and surely, but I still see so many 'good ideas'(generally speaking) getting lost in translation or being ignored completely for selfish and/or superficial reasons. Is it a matter of our own personal importance, or are we frightened of any unforseen 'consequences' maybe? Maybe it's something else? I can't answer that question for everyone, only for myself.

Many of those who are trying to help heal the world and 'fight fear,' are all around us and can come in many different forms in our daily lives(such as some of our peers/companions, animals, music, literature and poetry, just to name a few..) Are we simply just choosing to ignore the messages that have been sent already? Do we understand the ones that continue to be sent? Do we even realize they are message in the first place? Instead of listening, might we be using the messengers gifts for our own personal gain/pleasure instead of taking it as wisdom? Are we understanding them from a universal perspective, or a personal one? Or might we possibly be listening to too many insincere messages? It's up to us as individuals to answer these questions for ourselves along our life journey.

Regardless of geographical location, culture, experiences and situations etc.. We all still have the freedom of thought don't we? With that also comes the freedom of choice, but I see too many souls suffering at the hands of darkness because they feel they have no other options. Are we just too scared of the unknown to make the more ambiguous and/or ambitious choices maybe? If it is, or has the potential to be life changing, it's almost always garunteed to manifest itself physically as a feeling of fear and/or anxiety and can leave us feeling quite 'stuck' can't it? But as the great Ms. Cacie says in one of her songs ("What Scares Us") ".. we can't change what scares us, we can only change how it makes us feel.." In other words, it's up to the individual to decide how they feel about their situation regardless of age, stature, location, situation and/or position in life. A good example of this(and you'll know what I'm talking about if you have and/or are around them a lot) is children.. It can be quite frustrating when someone is doing the exact opposite of what you said would ensure theirs and/or others welbeing in the first place can't it? Is it because you fear for their health and/or safety? Or maybe because you're worried they might spill something on the sofa you just cleaned, making you frustrated(a feeling most of us try to avoid)? Everyone feels fear to some extent, and for many different reasons. Sometimes some of us just need a bit of help letting go of those worries and fears, maybe with some wise words and/or comforting acts of kindness? We each have our own way of dealing with things. We just need to remember that help may not always come in the ways we want it, but the help we all need is available if we look hard enough to find it..

If you feel the above doesnt really apply to you at all in regards to 'life changing' situations, do you feel a(sometimes intense) sense of excitement or anticipation instead of fear/anxiety? I thought so.. And if neither of the above apply to you, then do you really care if you or humanity lives or dies? Should you, even if you wanted to? That's up to you as an individual to decide, but I hope you find happiness regardless of your answer..

I've learnt a lot from this ever changing, beautifully bittersweet, chaotic world. As I've discovered over the course of my life, for me(and I assume many others) these two feelings of anxiety and excitement are almost exactly the same and extremely difficult to differentiate a lot of the time. These two feelings can also be replaced by a sense of numbness if I've pushed myself too far past either one. So if you can relate to my experience, and if we have the potential to experience all three, which do we give in to? Wich ever one we feed I guess..

There's always going to be positivity and negativity in the world, there's always going to be death and life, good and evil, and if we push ourselves too hard(like many of us do) we will almost always end up feeling a sense of allround numbness or pain.. A healthy balance of excitement, fear and nothingness is necessary to learn what it's like to be in a human body and test your limits, but we must avoid pushing ourselves into states of numbness and/or disrepair too often or it starts to consume us.

Do you push yourself too hard? Do you go beyond your limits to the point you start breaking down physically and/or mentally? Or maybe you don't push yourself hard enough and have found you've been stuck in the same place for most of your life? Do you want to move from where you are in life? Are you content with where and who you are in life? Could you be happier than you are right now?

How hard are you willing to try to be happy? Or is it just easier to feel pain and be pitied/helped all the time maybe? Many of us don't realize that by being resilient to negativity in gener, means we may experience the same/similar pain, but we may not feel hurt by it as much. It becomes a part of our lives that we process, instead of a pain in our butts that we try to get rid of(pardon the pun.)

So why do so many of us give in to the pain? What is it doing to our society? What does a child turn out like when their parents give into every whim and want no matter how self destructive? What are we as a society teaching our children about happiness and where it comes from? Are we teaching them to search for it out in the world, or to look for it within themselves? Are we even teaching them anything at all or is it all just 'monkey see monkey do'? I can't answer that for anyone either, I've not lived the same life.

So, at this point, many of you are probably asking something like 'is there any way around 'pain' without blocking it completely or giving into it then?' Or maybe you already know the answer to that yourself?

If you don't have an answer and/or are looking for some guidance, you're welcome to my perspective/personal experience.. I do believe its possible to move past pain, it's just hard to' 'accomplish' and most people don't like to hear the sometimes harsh honesty along the journey(let alone put in the extra effort to heal in some/severe cases). In saying that, if you're still here and eading and following along, I appreciate the patience, time and effort you're putting into this, you're doing great, not long now I swear!

A good example was given to me by a family member in regards to blocking vs rehabilitation, I will adapt it to be easier to follow along, but it can be applied across a large number of medical and/or mental illnesses and/or life stresses in general: Let's say you severely hurt your hip, knee and/or back in an accident (or due to RSI.) The Dr can give you meds to temporarily stop/relieve the pain, but unless you go through the effort of physio or rehabilitation, the problem will never really be helped or have the potential to fully heal. In saying that though, sometimes even after going through the extra efforts of physical rehabilitation, you may find the issue still won't be fixed. Usually when this happens you're given the option of medication and/or operation. This is another time where you get to choose to either endure or give in(except in extremely severe cases where a delicate balance of all three is required to yield maximum positive results) Which would you do if you had the choice to stop the pain temporarily for the rest of your life, or endure slightly more pain for a chance to heal for good? In other words.. Would you endure the potential 6months painful bed rest while your stiches/internals heal? Or would you just go get a 'magic pill' that makes your brain think the problems not there until it gets worse again? Which do you think would yeild the most positive results? Just remember, one requires large amounts of patience, resilience and effort, and can possibly heal you for good.. The other is just a quick fix for now until it comes back again, and possibly worse than before..

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