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[storiesandcoffee]

Me: *talks about how I am basically mourning someone who’s still alive*

someone: “WeLl AtLeAsT tHeY aRe aLiVe”

how about shut the fuck up.

[storiesandcoffee]

Why is it that some people who have been through so much can be so kind to others but not themselves.

They can’t take the advice they are giving.

To give themselves grace when something goes wrong.

Being so hard on yourself and holding yourself to such a high standard that you won’t achieve and then give up so easily.

I am that person.

I am too much and not enough.

I am a problem for everyone.

Sometimes I want to punish myself. Withhold food or binge. Exercise until I drop or sleep until the end.

[storiesandcoffee]

The thought of help or support from others paralyzes me with anxiety.

[storiesandcoffee]

[storiesandcoffee]

Struggling with many emotions. I’ve been told I care too much about other people’s problems. But, their problems become a problem for me where I feel like I’m in middle so yes I care too much. It’s making things awkward and difficult for me and then SOMEHOW they blame me. Always. I know that I’m not to blame. I know that. I just know they will blame me and because I have RSD I crawl into a ball and want to not exist. I know it’s coming. Just a few short days away from being so overwhelmed I will shut down and I can’t stop it. My brain is so fucked up. I’m blaming myself when in actuality it’s the person that’s blaming me and not taking accountability that’s at fault.

[storiesandcoffee]

How do you not take accountability for saying things just because it was true. It wasn’t your truth to tell.

[storiesandcoffee]

Bookstore in LA

Instagram

[storiesandcoffee]

child of the moon

[storiesandcoffee]

Truth hurts baby. Now you’re crawling back telling me I was right all along.

[storiesandcoffee]

[storiesandcoffee]

I needed to feel the sun on my skin today and I’m so glad that it happened.

[storiesandcoffee]

[storiesandcoffee]

l’autunno e ritorno a scuola

[storiesandcoffee]

It is both a blessing

And a curse

To feel everything

So deeply

[storiesandcoffee]

As I sit here drinking my coffee I am feeling so overwhelmed. I’m staring at my kindle wanting to read but my mind is so loud it won’t let me. I wish it would be quiet. I’m tired.

[storiesandcoffee]

[storiesandcoffee]

Lice it is. Did the treatment in her hair. The one I found on her was an adult and I found five more young ones dead after treatment. Here’s to hoping I was super lucky in finding it early before it got much worse.