stormsworn - Tumblr blog

[stormsworn]

the cringe police don’t want you to know that the bird dating sim hatoful boyfriend is actually a fantastically written bait and switch slow burn horror comedy that is not only genuinely entertaining, not only a genre defining piece of parody work, but also back in 2011, accurately depicted a post-pandemic rise in ethnonationalism. it’s the best game in the world and reading this back maybe the cringe police should come for me actually but it’s fine just carry on my legacy and play hatoful boyfriend

[stormsworn]

The Dangers of Fucking Voidsent

It is time kids. Gather round yonder camp fire, decimated giant chickens, or Garlean wreckage and let me alert you to the latest plague sweeping our great nation. Sex with Voidsent.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “Hey, I’m safe! I use protection. I’ve set up wards!” WRONG! No matter how well protected you think you are having sex with a voidsent can be as dangerous as stinking your dick in ceruleum. (Please do not stick your dick in ceruleum)

The youth of this nation seem to think hey, that sexy two thousand year old succubus living in some poor dead woman’s body is giving me bedroom eyes. Perhaps this is my chance to finally do the nasty! NO! YOU WOULD BE WRONG! THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT SUCCUBUS! First of all this is bordering on what we would call necrophilia since in order for a Succubus to manifest in this world they would have to inhabit the body of a dead person.

“But Doctor Ozerov, she is dead she isn’t using that body anymore! You must be some Nald’Thal worshiping loser!”

NO! I simply consider this quite unhygienic and a little rude to say the least.

Voidsent are alien entities who do not feel the same way we do. You may put your feelings on them but they cannot feel the same way about you. When you have sex with a Voidsent you are sticking your bits in or around another person’s bits who is being piloted by an entity from another dimension WHO WANTS TO EAT YOUR SOUL-ish thing.

So the next time you see that purple eyed monster looking you up and down remember that they’re a corpse riding hell beast looking to jump your bones and eat your aether.

[stormsworn]

Box boy

(via)

[stormsworn]

is the cannibalism a joke……

[stormsworn]

Hi real quick does anyone have the cat gif that goes like this

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why yes I AM making boop gifs from screen recording

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[stormsworn]

「The king is all alone, once again」

[stormsworn]

I cast kidney stone on you

No you don't

[stormsworn]

and so we return with a troll lineup on 2024

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I think this is how that one scene in holistar went

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[stormsworn]

Very Warm Clouds - Submitted by tisthegrimreaper

#102a65 #612b5b #893768 #c23f56 #c23f56 #c23f56

[stormsworn]