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storytime-hoe · 5 years

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Tough Love Ch.16

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Summary: Story picks up during season three as the group goes into Woodbury to rescue Glenn and Maggie from the Governor. However, they pick up another prisoner of Woodbury, Emma (O/C). She is a thief who fears friendships after her hard losses. She stays on the move, studying communities from afar and then robbing them blind. She has stayed alive this way for a while until the Governor catches her in the act. Now she finds herself with the group from the prison in a mission to kill the Governor for what he has done to her. She plans on stealing supplies from the prison group after the Governor is killed, but she might be growing a little too close to the groups members, especially one man in particular: Daryl Dixon.

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: I really like this chapter so I hope all you amazing people do too. Also, I am thinking this might go to about 23 chapters. Maybe? That is not a definite number yet but somewhere around there. The way I am ending it leaves room for a sequel too if people would want that by the time it is over and of course if I have time and want to keep writing, which I probably will.

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10 Ch.11 Ch.12 Ch.13 Ch.14 Ch.15

Once you’ve spent a night sleeping next to someone you care about so much, it leaves you with an empty feeling when you have to sleep alone again. Take my word for it, it fucking sucks.

I stirred through the entire night, not staying asleep for more than twenty minutes at a time before a nightmare or a tremor woke me up. And when I was awake, all I could think about was Daryl wanting me to stop looking for the Governor. Then, eventually, my mind went over the all of the events up in the guard tower like how fucking incredible he felt against me while we dance, and then the memories always ended with the sound of me slapping him and the stupid hurt look on his face right before I left him.

I shouldn’t have hit him. That wasn’t right of me, but I was so fucking angry and I can’t contain my emotions well, especially if I had just downed a bottle of vodka.

I wanted him to know that I didn’t mean to do it, but then again, he deserved it. He couldn’t ask me to give up on something as big as the Governor. I had practically dedicated my life to revenge on that man. Daryl knew that.

So fuck ‘em both.

I gave up on sleep just before the sun started rising. I got ready in a few minutes and started to head out like I had every mouthing for months. This time I wasn’t in a perky mood. I wasn’t going to turn the corner and see a shinning Daryl waiting to go out with me.

No, today I was determined. Everything about me screamed “fuck off” from my resting bitch face to the power in each of my steps.

Outside of the gates I started down the trail that I had taken a dozen times, going to pick up right where I had left off the previous morning. I thought Daryl might actually leave me alone out here after I had slapped him last night, but that was stupid of me to think, because his heavy footsteps were pounding up behind me ini minutes. He obviously wasn’t trying to conceal his presence here with me.

"I told you. Trail went cold." His voice dripped attitude already; he was out here for a fight and I was ready to fucking give him one.

"Yeah, well that's not good enough for me," I spat, keeping to my trail and not bothering to stop and look at him.

"Ya can't come out here by yerself. S'not safe."

I gritted my teeth and spun around to face him. He was closer than I thought he was to me. We both straightened up dominantly, trying to win over the other.

"I don't know what part of you isn't understanding,” I hissed at him, letting the venom roll off my words. “But I don't give a fuck. I'm not stopping and you can't fucking make me."

He grabbed my arm as I tried to storm away from him. Bastard didn’t learn from what happened last time?

"Let me go," I growled lowly at him.

"Nah."

I turned and slammed the palm of my hand against his chest. "Let me go," I screamed at him and tried to twist out of his grasp. "Daryl fucking Dixon I will break your arm if you don't let me go."

"Go ahead," he yelled back in my face, his breath blowing over me. He was inches away and I smelled the cigarettes on his breath. "Break my damn arm. But I ain't lettin’ ya get yerself killed."

My next move was definitely the reckless part of me taking over. It made the slap last night look like a kind gesture actually.

In a rushed and frantic impulse I pulled the gun from my belt and pointed it out in front of me, leveled at his head.

He stared down the barrel of the gun without a sliver of fear in his eyes. "Ya ain't gonna kill me." He sounded so sure of himself that I was tempted to shoot him out of spite. "Ya couldn't kill me if ya tried."

I felt my lip quivering and I rapidly blinked away my tears. Why did he have to be right all the fucking time? Of course I couldn't kill him. He was the only damn person that was keeping me living right now. I could never make myself pull that trigger on him. He was fucking everything to me, without him there was nothing.

His fingers, still wrapped around my wrist, tightened immensely, and he pressed his forehead directly on the gun, daring me with his piercing eyes to blow his brains out.

"Go ahead," he growled out so low it send a shudder through my body. "Add another ghost to haunt you."

I held his gaze through it all and almost couldn't choke back my tears. Every face of the people in my life who were torn out of it flashed across my mind, making me feel guilty about being alive. The squeezing in my chest was almost too much to bare, breathing was becoming considerably harder by the second.

"Can't you just stop caring about me so much?" Desperation. That’s how I would describe how I felt and sounded, how every moment with Daryl was breaking me because I wanted him so fucking back, but I wanted to prioritize other things before him. Other impossible things like finding the Governor.

He stared down the gun at me forever, his eyes searching mine wildly. I could see him deciding what to do in his head. He was debating his next action and let me be the first to say, he made the right choice in the end.

I didn't register what he was doing at first. I only heard him growl out a simple "no" as his crossbow clanged to the ground and he yanked on my arm, causing me to crash into his chest. Simultaneously, his other hand came up to hold my face to his in the most desperate and hungry kiss I'd ever had, my arm holding the gun to him moving aside to give him access. He pulled back quickly, thinking he had just made a life changing mistake with risking the kiss. But I wasn't letting him get away that easily.

I toss my gun aside and grabbed onto his vest before he could take a step back and roughly pulled him back into me. The kiss was sloppy from neither of us having done this in a long time, but that’s what made it perfect.

His hand finally let go of the death grip on my wrist and went to my waist. I drank him in thirstily, unable to control the groans that escaped my lips. This only encouraged him more, and I lost my breath when his hands snaked up under my shirt.

I stumbled backwards as he walked me up against the trunk of a tree. He pinned me against it, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth, which I welcomed with another moan. My hands trailed up his arms and up under his vest so I could slide it off of him.

He must not have realized I was unbuttoning his shirt until it was off and accompanying his vest on the ground because once it was, he broke away from me in a hurry. All those times I had struggled to read him, he was like an open book now. I saw the insecurity written all over his face as my fingers roamed over his scarred back.

I had seen his back only once, he even always slept in a shirt to keep me from seeing him. It was a complete accident when I had, but he had thrown a hissy fit that ended in me showing him my own scars. The only difference between us was that his were old and from his father, while mine were more recent looking and from his brother. Weren't Dixon's just charming? At least I got lucky with this one.

I cupped his face in my hands and made him look up at me. The shame didn't waver from his eyes as I held them with my own. My mouth quirked up at the corner and in one swift motion, I stripped out of my shirt and discarded it onto the ground too, letting the crisp morning air hit my own scarred back.

"There,” I breathed out at him, “Now we're even."

He scanned my own scars adoringly and when his lips met mine again it was with a new passion. I was consumed with the adoration he felt with every kiss that he trailed down my jaw. I tangled my hands into his long hair, thinking back to how many times I had dreamed of this. His arms held me tighter against him as he kissed down my jaw and to the sensitive skin on my neck where he sucked at my pulse. His low growl only enlightened me more and I tipped my head back in pleasure, the heat rushing between my legs as I held his head to me.

God, he was everything I never knew I needed. I couldn’t get close enough to him, couldn’t drink him all in fast enough. Daryl Dixon was a drug and I was now an addict.

The moment ended when a gunshot rang out through the air, and we flew apart from each other just as fast as we had come together.

I stared in the direction of the prison with wide glazed over eyes, still breathing hard. Daryl had his wits back much sooner than I, already having his shirt back on and partially buttoned up, scooping up his crossbow from where he had dropped it.

"Came from the prison," he said without another glance back at me. "Come on."

I watched him run off as I rubbed my hand over my mouth and sighed. What the hell had just happened? My mind couldn’t comprehend why or how any of that had come about, but I didn’t fucking care as long as it happened again.

I shook out of my stupor and yanked my shirt back over my head, snatching up Daryl’s forgotten vest as well, throwing it on over my shirt to free my hands up for whatever the hell was going on at the prison.

I ran in the direction Daryl had gone, my heart still fluttering in my chest. But all the giddy good feelings in me were gone when we reached the gates with Michonne on our heels. More gunfire came from the prison, Rick sprinting up the yard from his crops as Carl came to open up the gate for us.

Walkers swarmed around all sides of the three of us, drawn to the noise coming from inside the solid walls.

Michonne jumped from her horse and started chopping down the fuckers beside me. Carl had retrieved a gun, the first time he had held one since Rick had confiscated his so long ago, and fired a direct hit. Maggie was frantically running from the guard tower, coming to our aid as well.

But this was nothing compared to the pure chaos we faced once inside.

“Block D,” was all I caught in the frantic conversation that was being shouted around me, but I followed Sasha and Rick into the block, Daryl hot on my heels.

Inside Block D the horrific screams of people dying, of people mourning, of people scared, and all of the fucking above echoed around the cement.

We went to work immediately. Daryl snatched a gun from someones hands and pushed them out of the cell block, handing me the rifle, which I didn’t hesitate to put to use.

I ushered what few living people there were in the block out and to safety while picking off any Walker that was on their heels. I spun around at the sound of a crying kid just in time to see Daryl use his crossbow to put down a Walker and scoop the kid up effortlessly.

My mind was on autopilot, adrenaline coursing through me in a much different way than if previously was in the woods with Daryl. That had been a dream, but this was a literal nightmare. How had this even fucking started? It wasn’t a breech, it was someone from the inside.

Once everyone was out of danger, I followed Rick and Daryl up the steps to the second level of cells in the block. Glenn was already up here, looking out over all the bodies that were now littering the place when another Walker, one we must have missed, came from the room closest to Glenn and nabbed him.

“Get down,” was the guttural command from Daryl as his arrow released, taking down the final threat.

I swiped a hand down my face as I looked around me, I could feel the blood mixed with sweat that coated me from head to toe. “Well, time for cleanup,” I muttered and went to start on the downstairs.

We all dragged bodies out and cleaned away blood and killed any straggling Walkers. This was the most haunting part about this shit, the aftermath. I kept to myself, listening to a girl sobbing over a body that had been covered up with a sheet.

Damn, there was so much loss all the fucking time. I was getting so sick of all the grave digging. For once, I’d like people to die of old age and natural causes, not from war or fucking getting bit. It was all a load of bullshit.

My eyes tore from the sobbing girl as Karen stood at the doorway. I didn’t know her well, but she was one of the first from Woodbury. Tyreese too, and here he was coming up beside her to offer some kind of comfort. The look they gave each other said it all, said how terrible everything was but yet how grateful they were that they still had each other.

That’s when my stomach dropped. That could have been Daryl lying dead on the floor with me sobbing over him. We could have ended up on the bad end of this shit.

I gulped and watched where he was standing upstairs over a body with Rick, Hershel, and a few others. They were talking about the cause of death. It wasn’t a bite or anything, there were no wounds, it was a sickness. It was caused by internal lung pressure building up and when it was to the top it came out of everywhere, ears, eyes, nose, mouth... It was horrifying.

“All of us in here,” I heard Hershel say, “We’ve all been exposed.”

I involuntarily flicked my eyes to Daryl, only to find that he was already looking at me.

I couldn’t imagine if he got sick. I didn’t want to believe he could get sick, but it wasn’t something he could shoot and fight off, this was something he had no control over protecting himself from.

I shuddered at the thought and had to look away from his piercing eyes. I couldn’t let myself think about that. I had more important things to do than worry my head about something that was out of my hands. I couldn’t dwell on what had already happened as I dragged body after body out of the cell block. I couldn’t worry about whatever the hell had happened between me and Daryl in the woods just moments before this.

And like Daryl tried to tell me, I couldn’t worry about the Governor anymore either.

***

Taglist:

@daryldixonandfrogs @jodiereedus22 @xchrisxevansx @bvbwestfall @my-current-fandom-is

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storytime-hoe · 5 years

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reblogging cause it posted at a weird time

Tough Love Ch.15

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: This seem short compared to some of the other chapters maybe, but I didn’t want to combine another with this just to make it longer because I feel that the next part deserves to be its own chapter.

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10 Ch.11 Ch.12 Ch.13 Ch.14

The world was so quiet anymore. There was no traffic noise or airplanes flying overhead or construction workers jackhammering at sidewalks. It was nice for the most part, but the silence was louder than those old noises at times.

Like right now, as I sat up in the guard tower overlooking the prison yard. My feet dangled off the ledge of the tower as I was sat on the ground leaned back on my hands. My mind wandered to all the sad event of my life from before, the events that started not only when the dead rose again. But I permanently had my shitty past life engraved in me. From all the dates with douchebags to working endless hours to provide for my shit mom and brother. However, all the memories weren’t bad, it was just the bad ones that always came back to me at times like this, times of quiet.

That’s one of many reasons that I loved that Daryl joined me on watch everyday. I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts for too long, it wasn’t good for me to get into my own head like that. But Daryl kept me at ease, even if he wasn’t talking to me to fill the silence, his presence was enough for me to relax.

The sound of heavy steps coming up from behind me signaled that Daryl was finally here.

“About damn time,” I teased without turning to make sure that it was actually him.

“Took forever to get this,” he said as he plopped down beside of me with two plates of food.

I lit up at the smell of food, but my mouth dropped open at the sight of a familiar bottle of vodka that he sat down between us. It was the bottle that he had taken from my hands during the eventful run with Sasha and Glenn. I remembered dropping my bottle and wasting it all when the herd of Walkers came at us, but I never saw what he did with his.

“Put it in my pack ‘fore we hightailed it outta there,” he filled in for me with a shrug.

When I found the bottle, they had all wanted to take them back with us that night, but I wanted to enjoy them right then and there like a fucking idiot. I was glad that that didn’t happen however, because now I only had to share with one other person this way.

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storytime-hoe · 5 years

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Tough Love Ch.15

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10 Ch.11 Ch.12 Ch.13 Ch.14

That's one of many reasons that I loved that Daryl joined me on watch everyday. I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts for too long, it wasn’t good for me to get into my own head like that. But Daryl kept me at ease, even if he wasn't talking to me to fill the silence, his presence was enough for me to relax.

The sound of heavy steps coming up from behind me signaled that Daryl was finally here.

"About damn time," I teased without turning to make sure that it was actually him.

"Took forever to get this," he said as he plopped down beside of me with two plates of food.

"Put it in my pack 'fore we hightailed it outta there," he filled in for me with a shrug.

When I found the bottle, they had all wanted to take them back with us that night, but I wanted to enjoy them right then and there like a fucking idiot. I was glad that that didn't happen however, because now I only had to share with one other person this way.

"Should we be drinking while on watch though? What if something happens and we don't see it?"

He nodded and chewed at the skin by his thumb nail. "Ya can drink all ya want. I'll watch."

A grin slowly spread across my face. I hand hand on the bottle, eager to get a taste of the strong liquid, something I hadn’t done since the world went to shit. At my hesitation Daryl looked at me and nodded for me to go on. I snatched up the bottle and opened it up to take a swig. "If you insist," I giggled out like a fucking school girl, downing another swig of the fiery liquid.

When I glanced over to him, I saw the grin that he was fighting, but it won the battle against his stubbornness and shown through in the end. I liked seeing him smile, it gave me pride when I was the cause of it, even if it was only because I was being stupid and messing up. I just liked seeing him happy, happy was a rare thing these days.

As we began digging into our dinner I kept a careful eye on the fence line, at least pretending to do the job of keeping watch, even while I drank down half of the bottle.

"Were your fans glad to see you stop in?" I snickered with a playful nudge to his arm with my elbow.

He knew that I was referring to all the people that lived in the prison that had come to obsess over him. They loved that he provided them with food and a sense of comfort. Who wouldn't love it? He was perfect and for some damn reason he was the only one to not think so.

He scoffed before taking a bite of the deer meat that was on his plate. "Pretty much. These people can't let me be for two fucking seconds without wantin' to chat me up."

I could tell it was actually getting to him as he talked. He hated attention, the good or the bad attention. "They just look up to you. You're the reason most of them are alive, ya know."

"Well, I don't want to be no damn hero." He took a gulp out of the bottle of alcohol at that, despite that he planned on not drinking in order to keep watch, but I just let him take it from my hand and put it back on my leg when he was done.

After a long pause of silence, he continued, his thoughts needing to be spoken to someone. "Sometimes I wish it was jus' us again, our small group, 'fore we started takin' in all these people."

I nodded understandingly. Most of them were dumb as hell sometimes because of their lack of experience out in the real world after being cooped up in Woodbury, and it was hard not to be angry about it. "It's not their fault. The Governor had them all thinking things would return to the way they were."

Daryl grunted in disgust, taking out a cigarette from his pocket, resorting to a smoke rather than the vodka this time.

"Do you think it ever will? Do you think things will go back eventually?" I really missed the world sometimes and I could imagine building up civilizations again and governments and starting back where we left off. I washed down that longing with the tang of my drink.

He thought about it for a long time, before his meaningful eyes flicked to mine with a sense of sadness pulling at them. "Nah. Think it's all too fucked to ever get back to any kind of normal."

I swallowed hard, not wanting to believe it, but he was right. God, he was fucking right, and I had to accept that.

"Is there anything you miss about the way the world used to be?"

He took a long drawly off his cigarette and for a moment I thought he was going to ignore the question and not answer. Then he finally shook his head, eyes trained on the fence still yet. "Not really," he spoke, looking out at the world in front of him. "You?"

I debated whether answering him seriously, but if I was working on the opening up thing, so I decided to be honest. "I miss parties; staying up all night with a bottle of booze and laughing at nothing," I said, the memories tugging at my heart. It was weird to reminisce the good times and not the bad ones. I wasn’t used to that, and the alcohol in me making it harder to hold back the emotion in my voice. "I miss getting dressed up for things and dancing." I sad smile graced my lips. I had lived in a shitty trailer park and didn't have much, but I could remember the nights of drinking with friends until we passed out, and dancing the nights away and acting like kids again.

The silence that followed was heavy. I really ruined the mood didn't I? Why did I have to make everything so depressing all the time? My eyes stung with the need to cry it out. I missed having fun so fucking much, but it would never be the same. Daryl had said it himself, the world was far too fucked up to be any kind of normal ever again.

With a grunt of effort Daryl got to his feet. "Come on," he said with the cigarette still dangling on his lips.

"What are you doing?" I searched his face for an explanation, but as usual his intentions were hidden.

"Can't give ya no damn party," he began a little shyly at first, much to my surprise. He had never acted bashful around me. Rude– yes, brash– definitely, but not bashful. "But I'll give you one dance," he continued. Then more irritably, "Then I'm done."

I hadn't expected this. He was not the type to offer to do something so personal or intimate. I'd come accustom to him avoiding physical touch with anybody at all. He looked awkward in hugs and he always steered clear of most human interactions. He only let a few people get close to him.

My heart did a flip when he reached his hand out to me. "C'mon 'fore I change ma mind."

He didn't have to say it twice before I got to my feet a little too quickly and placed my hand into his, letting him slowly guide me to him.

His hands timidly laid at my hips and I snaked mine up around his neck. He didn't say anything else and neither did I, afraid to ruin the moment. He slowly swayed me back and forth and I gradually pulled in closer to him until my head lay down against his chest, listening to his heart beating rather quickly.

Suddenly, I was so fucking grateful for all the dark times and suffering that I had gone through in my lifetime. It let me recognize moments like this as they were: moments of pure bliss and love.

My ridiculous mind then started to wander what it would be like to be with Daryl like this all the time. I already did fall asleep holding onto him every night, listening to that heart beat and falling asleep to the rhythmic sound. But this was different somehow... more intimate. We weren’t going to sleep as soon as we got comfy, we were both painfully aware of how close we were and how our breaths were picking up.

Then I let myself do the worst thing possible. I let myself wander what it would be like to kiss him. I had recently come to terms that I had a thing for Daryl, and I always admired him for how he looked, but I never let myself dwelled on doing anything with him before. Nothing more than a daydream, that is, knowing there as a possibility that I was reading everything wrong the entire time and that he wouldn't feel the same way about me. Now, however, with the alcohol coursing through me, it wasn't sounding like a bad idea.

I lifted my head ever so slightly towards him. The stubbled on his face scratched against my cheek and I looked up at him through my eyelashes. When he moved his head down farther against mine I felt butterflies in the pit of my stomach.

Our noses were hitched against each other, our hard paced breaths mixing together. His hand came up to rest at the back of my head, the forgotten cigarette pinched between two fingers.

Forget the butterflies, there was a whole damn zoo ramming around in my insides.

I wanted to kiss him so fucking bad. We were so close together, our lips almost ghosting each other, that one slight move would do the trick. But we were both stuck in place.

What the fuck was I doing? This wasn't me, it had to be the vodka acting for me. I could do this. He wasn't thinking straight and neither was I for a different reason. He just felt bad for me. Of course that was it. He felt bad because I was bitching about missing the old world. So here he was trying to make me feel better. He didn't really want this. He couldn't really want this. It was crazy.

So, I had to stop it before I doubled crazy.

I angled my head back from him so I could open my mouth to speak, but I had to take a moment to clear my throat in order to get my voice to actually work. "I- I should go sleep off this bottle I just downed. Another early day tomorrow.” I attempted a smile, but it wouldn’t surface like I wanted it to, my mind too distracted by the feelings that flowed through me. Every part of me betrayed the words I was saying, from the way my voice shook to my eyes flicking down at his lips every now and again.

His eyes searched mine for a second before he put some distance between us, but still held me to him in his arms, like a cage of warmth that I never wanted to exit.

"Listen, I been meanin’ ta talk wit’ ya," he began, clearly struggling with how he wanted to phrase his next words.

Oh fuck. This better not be some love confession or some shit, I couldn't handle something like that right now.

"I think maybe we should stop goin' out there. He ain't coming back."

My breath hitched in my chest. He was talking about the Governor.

I pushed out of his arms and looked at him accusingly the moment I registered his words. "The fuck are you saying? I should give up? Let him roam the world a free man after what he did to all of us?"

He ran a hand over his face, letting out an exhausted sigh. "The trail went cold, Emma. We can't keep wanderin' 'round mindlessly. It's time to start doing other things. The group needs us doin' other shit."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. How could he expect me to drop it just like that? I couldn't forget what the Governor did and I knew he was alive out there. I wasn't going to rest until it was taken care of.

I shoved at his chest hard, not being able to find the right words to show him how upset I was. When he didn't react and just let me hit him again, I boiled over.

"Fuck you Dixon! You're wrong. He is out there, I know he is. Do you want him to keep hurting people? You know what he's done to me! You fucking–"

"Course I don't want him to–"

"Then I am not fucking giving up!"

I was going ballistic. I wanted to cry and slap him and scream until my lungs were out of air. I had never been so mad at him in my life. Not when he called me names or gave me shit or even when he I was pissed about him defending Merle when I had first met him.

My head began to spin and I tilted off balance slightly. Daryl took a step towards me with his hands outstretch, ready to steady my swaying form.

"Don't fucking touch me," I breathed out unthreateningly, the breath feeling like it had been kicked out of my lungs.

I had to get away. Right now. Before I did things I would regret. I stormed towards the stairs, grabbing onto the railing for balance.

Daryl made the mistake of grabbing my arm to stop me. I didn't even think, I just wanted away from him, so I spun towards him and slapped him across the face with a loud smack.

He released my arm immediately, and step away from me, the shock evident on his face. I felt just as shocked as he was, and a little guilty at the red mark that spread across his cheek.

I didn't say anything else as I looked him over one more time, the desperation and longing in his eyes. After staring into his eyes for a minute, I had to remind myself to stay mad. So, I turned around and started fumbling down the steps before I gave into him.

But not this time. I wasn’t running to him. I didn’t need him. I was going to hide in the comfort of my own cell, not his, the tears already puddling and ready to fall.

For fucks sake, when was I going to stop letting him make me cry?

***

Taglist:

@daryldixonandfrogs @jodiereedus22 @xchrisxevansx @bvbwestfall @my-current-fandom-is

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storytime-hoe · 5 years

Text

Tough Love Ch.14

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: So I just decided to add that first part last minute and this is super long now but oh well at least it’s something. I also did not even spell check the first part so sorry but I don’t have time and I do not want to keep people waiting since I promised I would be on track from now on.

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10 Ch.11 Ch.12 Ch.13

Returning from the run in a car with Sasha and Glenn made me anxious. I looked ahead for Daryl’s motorcycle every ten seconds, just to make sure that he was still with us.

I was shaken to the core after the scare he had given me. I knew he could tell something was off with me the entire time he was struggling to save me. Thankfully, however, after I got off of his damn bike, he was much more gentler with me. There was no more giving me shit about how I did things like he had done the rest of the trip. I think maybe his anger about me running off on my own the day before had finally worn away. Or for the most part at least.

He didn’t say much else to me as we jumped back on our vehicles and made way fro the prison before it got dark. We had planned on bringing home much more than we had, but we still all had our backpacks stuffed with food items and supplies. And we were all alive still, so that was a plus.

As I stumbled into my cell room, pulling the thin drape that was the door closed behind me, I couldn’t help the shaking in my hands which was growing worse with every breath I took.

Daryl was all I could think of. He filled every inch of my mind. It was like I needed to make sure he was okay all the fucking time now. Like when I did try to lay down and get some sleep, I stirred with images of him being ripped apart by the dead the same way that my little brother had been. It was haunting me.

I had just about had enough as I jumped from my bed in a fury, the sweat that coated me made my clothes stick to my skin. I had to do something or else I was going to drive my head into a fucking wall.

I needed to see him.

I needed to make sure he was still breathing just one more time tonight, then I could go to sleep. Yeah, that was it. If I could stroll by his cell and peer in and see him all fine in his bed, then everything would be good. I would rest well knowing he was safe. Right?

I calmed my racing heart slightly and threw open the drape in the doorway with a violent swish. But I froze in place at who faced me.

Daryl was staring at me wide-eyed with a shocked look on his face. What the hell was he doing here? I was supposed to be the one coming after him. Actually, I liked this much better.

Daryl regained composure before I did, rubbing a hand down his face and preparing himself to explain why he was lurking in front of my room.

“Sorry,” he grumbled, not meeting my eyes. “I- I was just checking on ya. Ya seemed pretty out of it after- ya know...”

He trailed off, the tips of his ears turning an adorable shade of pink.

I blinked a few times, struggling to find my voice at first. My mind was still trying to comprehend that he was checking up on me. Me, the girl who he talks shit about all the fucking time.

“I- yeah- I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be fine? Done this shit a million times.”

And it was all true. I had run into herds and had more close calls and run ins with death than I could count. But then again, I didn’t almost lose someone I though so strongly about back then. This was different than anything I’d ever gone through. And of course Daryl knew that. He seemed to always know fucking everything about me. What a prick.

He chewed on the skin by his thumb at my response. “Sorry ta bother ya then.” He started to take hesitant steps away from my door and back towards his own room. “Jus worried ‘bout ya I guess.”

I swallowed thickly and eyed him. He looked so fucking cute standing there all bashful. He was trying to show a nice gesture, something I could have been jumping at after the way he had been treating me, but I couldn’t get my big fat fucking ego to calm the fuck down.

“Well,” I said, hating the dullness in my voice. “Don’t.”

Usually, Daryl keeps a neutral look on his face, so I can never read what the fuck he is thinking, but this time I saw a flicker of something. A flicker of hurt. Hurt that I was causing again.

He nodded once and went away, leaving me standing in my room alone. Alone was never a good thing for me at a time like this.

What the actual fuck was wrong with me? I had just admitted to myself that I had feelings for the son of a bitch and here I was pushing him as far away from me as possible, and when he was trying to be there for me too. I was shutting down. I almost lost him and the fear of being hurt at losing someone like him was making me do things I would regret. I wish to God I could just drop the tough guy act and fucking behave like a normal human being in these types of situations. No, normal wasn’t a thing anymore.

The tremor in my hands was back as I closed the drape once more. I couldn’t do this. I had to fucking stop acting like I was strong enough to take on the world. Because I sure as hell am not. I am not and never will be. So what was I supposed to do if I couldn’t be strong for myself?

I’ll tell you what, right all I fucking needed was Daryl God damn Dixon.

I ran out of my room again down a few rooms until I was staring at the closed duration of Daryl’s room. I knew he was in there; Rick wouldn’t let him keep watch after coming back from a run like that, even if he wasn’t happy about being forced to sleep, he would obey Rick.

My heart was in my throat as I looked straight ahead to the curtain. Just do it. Open the door and talk to him. Talk about what? What was I supposed to say to him? I would probably start crying when I saw his face, especially if it had that hurt look on it still. Oh fuck, this was a bad idea. But all my ideas are bad ideas.

I held my breath as I yanked back the curtain and stumbled into his room.

He was already laying down on the bunk, staring blankly into the air above him with his hands under his head.

When I barged in he sat up not an elbow, scanning me up and down with wild eyes. He probably thought there was an emergency, that someone was hurt and that Rick and the others needed him. But when his eyes finally fucking rested on mine, his expression softness and it made me melt. He understood. I didn’t have to fucking say anything for him to see that i was crumbling to pieces after that run. But Daryl would never judge me for that, I don’t know how I could have though he would before. He was someone I could let my walls down with and vice versa. He was always fucking there for me, no matter how I treated him or how we fought. We would come back to each other in the end. Always.

We just stared for a minute, my chest tight and heaving with the pressure of emotion weighing me down.

“C’mere,” was all he said with a small nod of his head. He knew I couldn’t be alone tonight. I needed to be right next to him to make sure he was real and alive and that nothing would happen to him.

His simple mumble was all it fucking took for me to unglue myself from the floor and crawl up next to him in the bed. I laid down on the very fucking edge of the bed, not letting myself touch him. We were both tense beyond belief for a solid minute or two, but when he let his arm fall over my stomach, I felt us both relax more with each breath, and I eventually pressed up against his chest, my hand over his beating heart.

I wanted to say something to him, to tell him how it made me shit myself to think about him being out of my life forever, and that if he did die on that run that I would’ve lost my fucking mind. I opened my mouth to speak a few times, but I always chickened out. I didn’t know how to tell him how much he actually meant to me, and of course there was that fear that he would take it wrong and reject me.

So, I kept my mouth fucking closed for once in my life and let him hold me that night. I let myself feel peaceful in his arms. But that was not exactly where I woke up.

When I did open my eyes again I had forgotten that I was sharing a bed with Daryl. That was until I became aware of the added weight on top of me. Daryl’s head was on my chest and shoulder, his face turned away from me into my hair. His arm was strewn across my body with his leg tangle around mine.

I smiled to myself, thinking back to the night we had stayed outside together after my panic attack. I had woken up all onto of him, but now our positions were switched. I decided to tangle my hand in his hair, enjoying how it felt woven around my fingers. Hey, if he was allowed to lay on me like this, then he couldn’t give me shit for wanting to feel his hair.

After a few more quiet snores from Daryl I pushed myself out from under him. He stirred and woke up, but I was out of his room before he could say anything to me.

I got dressed in a hurry and went out of the gate to start my morning search. Yes, alone. Rick had said I could do whatever the fuck I wanted, and even if I was starting out the journey by myself, I had a strong feeling that someone would be following me out. And another strong feeling that that someone would be Daryl. Because everyone knew we couldn't leave each other alone anymore.

But, I started the day not thinking about anything but the Governor. I needed to find him and make sure he was dead. He ruined me, made me feel things I could ever recover from. I wasn't about to let him do that to anyone else.

Even if a trip like this in the early mornings was useless, it made me feel better. It was a chance to get back out in the world. It was a chance for me to kill as many Walkers as I wanted and be as dirty and careless and wild as I pleased with no judgment.

It wasn't until I was about an hour out that I got the feeling that I wasn't alone; Daryl sure took his time following me out. I didn't have time to act on that hunch, however, before I was grabbed from behind. A Walker had ahold of my hair, trying his best to sink his teeth into me. I sliced through him with a machete just before turning to cut down his friend.

Before I knew it, there were dozens of them coming at me from all directions. I really thought that if it was Daryl that was following me, that he would have come to my aid by now. I never thought he would let me get so close to danger with all the Walkers swarming me. Then again, we hadn't really talked about the last argument we had had. He said he was worried about me last night, but maybe he was giving me space and letting me handle myself. He would step in if I really needed him. Right?

I cut down the last of the group of Walkers with much effort and an exhausted grunt. I felt the Walker blood dripping down my neck and soaking into my clothes. I turned to look into the trees behind me in the direction that I knew Daryl was hidden, watching me.

Knowing he was found out, Daryl stepped towards me out from behind his place in a shrub.

"Enjoying the show," I breathed out with the pile of bodies laying lifeless around me. He took a few more steps towards me before stopping to look a the Walkers with his crossbow in hand. "What are you doing here?" I asked him at his silence, trying to keep my voice light and welcoming, not wanting to sound like I was complaining about the company.

He finally met my eyes and the answer that I wanted to here was silently confirmed. He was watching over me. Despite everything, we were back to our old ways of being friends. My heart skipped a beat at the thought that I hadn’t pushed him too far away. I was like a nervous teenager on the inside, but being the stubborn ass that I am I scowled down at him slightly, not letting him see how excited I was that he was here.

"I can take care of myself," I let him know for the hundredth time.

He shrugged, a hint of a smile playing at his lips. "I know."

Pleased with his answer I had to surprise my own lips from turning up at the corners. I faced away from him to hide my failed attempts and walked deeper out into the woods.

"So why ya out 'ere?" He questioned as I started back on my path, this time he followed close behind me, not bothering to stay out of my sight anymore.

"You know why," I said darkly, only for him to nod.

He knew I couldn't rest with the Governor still out there. A part of me knew that he couldn't either.

"Michonne's out ‘ere too," he grumbled to me, letting me know that I wasn't alone in wanting the Governor gone for good.

"Why don't you go bother her then?"

He never answered. I had a feeling that he enjoyed my company better than he did Michonne's. We needed this time too. Not to talk anything out or get into another fight, but we needed that silence with each other. Where we could walk around for hours and just soak in the company of the other without a word. The silence mending what I thought I had broken. The silence also helped us forget how awkward we might have felt after having shared a bed. But that was besides the point.

Getting up with the sun to look for the Governor everyday became routine for me, as did making my way to his bed every night. I sort of just followed him in when it was time, and he was always expecting me to also. And it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable after that first night, we got used to needing to hold onto someone and to helping each other through the restless nights.

I never asked Daryl to come with me when I got up to look for the Governor every morning, and I never told him when I was going out after I had disappeared into my room to get ready, but he was always there waiting for me.

Every day I woke up, not getting the amount of sleep I should've been getting, and got dressed and usually grabbed some sort of breakfast bar, if anything at all, before I bounced outside to see him already leaning against the fence with his crossbow propped on the ground next to him.

I do have to say, turning the corner every morning to see him leaned against a wall with a lit smoke between his lips, and the sun rising behind him giving off a magical gold color to the air, was what fucking kept me going. He took my breath away sometimes and the saddest part was that he didn't even fucking realize he was doing it.

Days and weeks went by like this. We would follow the Governor's trail right where we had left off the previous day, coming back in the evenings only to go up and keep watch together then retiring to bed in his room.

We spent every second together almost, and sometimes it got to us. We snapped at each other a lot for pointless shit. We both possessed strong personalities and they clashed more often than not. Pushing the others buttons was something we had become masters at. It was a fun little game to piss Daryl off. He would shit talk back at me and we would go on and on. It usually either ended with him screaming at me before storming off, or with him giving me the silent treatment.

But just like always, the silence fixed everything. It let us cool down and forgive without having to say anything. Before we knew it we were back to chatting like friendly people again as if nothing had ever happened. When we weren't fighting we could find peace in the silence of each others company. I reveled in simply him being around with me. Neither of us needed to talk and that was another thing that made him close to perfect, he didn’t expect anything from me.

***

Taglist:

@daryldixonandfrogs @jodiereedus22 @xchrisxevansx @bvbwestfall

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storytime-hoe · 5 years

Text

Tough Love Ch.13

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: Woah. I did not expect to be away for this long but if you do care about my excuse this time it was that I was going through some shit. I moved to college extremely far from home and it was a lot for me to take in. It’s a new environment and I don’t have any friends as of right now so I was in a dark state of mind. I still am struggling, but I am trying to force myself to get into routine again and to be a normal human being who knows how to smile and act like an adult. It’s rough.

Anyway, I am so sorry to leave that last chapter off on a cliffhanger like that. I am going to have the next few chapters up within the week (probably three days apart from one another) so do not worry about me disappearing again. But I live in a different time zone so it’ll be a little different from when I usually post, just a heads up.

That all being said, this chapter is a hot mess per usual, and I am sorry if some of it is contradictory or a confusing. I wrote it very rushed and I am not proud of that but please stay with me it’ll all get good soon.

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10 Ch.11 Ch.12

Tears had started to rim the edges of my eyes. The dead were clawing at the balcony's supports, but I couldn't do anything about it, despite Sasha and Glenn screaming at me to get inside the building and off of the collapsing platform. Their words were muffled out by the screams of the dead.

I stared out in front of me like a statue, my world crashing down around me much like the first half of the balcony went crashing down.

My feet flew out from under me from the collision, but I was able to grasp the windowsill and clutch onto the building before the rest of the balcony went down on top on the Walkers. My chest heaved with the grief that was swirling around inside of me. With my mind a jumbled mess and motivation to live now out the door, my arms were quick to start aching as I held on to the window. They wouldn't be able to hold my dangling body forever and it didn't look like there was any other option except down into the filthy hands that would tear me limb from limb.

I wanted to open up the window, but it only opened from inside so I would have to shatter it, which is a lot harder than they make it look in the movies. A window is one tough bitch. No amount of pounding on it with the butt of my gun was breaking it; it didn't even leave a scratch.

With every swing I took at the window I felt my hopes dwindling away. I gasped out a desperate cry and the tears came flowing. This was the end. I not only made it my end, but Daryl's too, and possibly Sasha's and Glenn's if they couldn't get out of this mess.

A dark sadness washed over me. My arms were giving out. I felt my fingers sliding down the windowsill, the hungry cries of the Walkers getting louder, lulling me to them like sirens of the sea. It wouldn't be the peaceful death that I dreamed for at night. I didn't earn a peaceful death. I deserved to be ripped apart, just like Daryl had been, just like my brother had been.

I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath, readying myself to let go of the window and have the fate that everyone I loved always ended with. This was it. My time had come. After all the shit I went through; after surviving months at Woodbury. This was how I went down. I really was pathetic.

Before my fingers could slip from the ledge, a hand shot out from the window and grabbed my wrist so tightly that I yelped at the pain. When the collar of my shirt started to be pulled on, my first instinct was to fight whoever this was. My eyes shot open, and I writhed in the grasp of whoever had me. I figured it couldn't be anyone good, considering I thought my group mates were either dead or no where near me to be of any help, but I froze when I was yanked up high enough to lock eyes with a pair of squinted blue ones.

"C'mon! Le's go!" Daryl gravelly yelled at me, trying to shake me from my shocked state, his glare on me was the same one that he’d given me ever since our last argument. "Stop fuckin' aroun'," he growled at me while clutching at my form still half dangling out the window.

In any other circumstance I would have rolled my eyes. Stop fucking around? Really? Like I wanted to be in this situation for the shits and giggles? However, I refrained from saying anything, I was honestly too relieved to see him alive to form sentences. My brain was turning to putty at the sight of him and all human functions were shutting down in me.

Daryl yanked me the rest of the way inside the building with much effort, considering I wasn't being much help. I looked like an idiot gawking at him from the floor as he wrapped his arms around me to lift me to my feet. I held onto his arms like a lifeline, trying desperately to swallow down all the emotions that were itching to burst out of me.

I couldn't fucking believe he was back. He was here, in front of me, breathing and alive. I was so undoubtedly joyful to see him here again that I wanted to hug onto him and never let go, despite how mean and pushy he had been towards me the past few days.

I ran my hands up his arms to his shoulders and eventually down his chest, trying to convince myself that he was actually here and not some sick dream or hallucination.

"Emma," he started, trying to get my attention, but my eyes darted wildly to every part of him. "Em," he said more urgently, grabbing my hands in his with a rough shake and forcing me to look into his eyes again. He was still a little cold towards me, but his eyes held a much softer look now as he spoke. "I'm 'ere, it's me. Okay? We gotta get outta 'ere."

I stared at him with watery eyes. He was right. I needed to get my shit together before I did get us killed, but my mind was just so cloudy that I couldn't think straight if I tried.

Daryl obviously didn't have time for me to snap back to reality as he gripped my wrist in his coarse hand and pulled me down a flight of stairs and out the back door.

I wasn't the type of person to freeze up in situations, but right now I was acting like a fucking child. My mind was in a haze; panic about Sasha and Glenn and Daryl and me hit me like a brick wall and it was all too much. I couldn't think to help Daryl figure out how the hell we were going to get out of this. I couldn't force myself to be the strong leader that I always tried being. It was like I was turning into a complete fucking different person all because I was spooked by Daryl's short disappearance.

Damn, did I have it bad for him or what?

"Get on." Daryl tugged on my arm roughly and pushed me to get on his motorcycle that he had hidden under some brush. Once I was seated on the bike he took my hands and placed them on the handlebars. "Listen," he commanded, making my eyes shoot to his at the urgency in his voice. If I couldn’t form my own thoughts right now then I would gladly do whatever he wanted me to do. "Ya gotta lead half of 'em that a'way. I gotta get Sasha and Glenn out, can't take em all at once."

My eyes widened as his words registered in my head. He expected me to ride this thing by myself? And with a hoard of Walkers on my tail at that?

"I don't know how to fucking ride this thing," I shouted at him, feeling a part of my usual stubborn self returning.

He rolled his eyes and started it up for me. "Of course you fucking don't," he grumbled to himself. "This is the break. This makes it go."

I furrowed my brow at his condescending tone.

"Em, you'll be fine. It's like riding a bicycle with less work. I'll meet ya at the main road where we left the car. Loose 'em 'fore then."

Before I could even argue that there was no way in hell this was going to be as easy as riding a bicycle, he was running off in the opposite direction, leaving me alone with a herd charging at me.

How did he have so much confidence that I could succeed in this? He saw how I was right now, I could barely make my own two feet work let alone drive a fucking vehicle. Maybe he just didn’t care if I got overwhelmed by the Walkers, because either way it would be the distraction he needed.

My grip tightened on the handles and I gulped as the Walkers were nearing me. I was going to do this because everyone was depending on me. And I was going to live out of spite, because Daryl fucking Dixon was not getting rid of me that easily.

Sure, Daryl might be trying to hate my guts after our last screaming match at the prison, but we both knew he can’t stay that way forever. Most of the time, Daryl and I can't fucking stand each other, even before the night that he declared he was going to stop giving a shit about me, but we are attracted like magnets and there was nothing we could do to fix that. I would always come back to him, no matter how shitty he might make me feel after an argument. And I had a feeling it was the same for him.

Ever since I met him we were arguing and fighting against the intimate tension we have around each other. I think that might be why we are always disagreeing, because we just don't want to be on the same page. It scared me, that was for sure, knowing that there was someone that I was so compatible with. I have been pushing all the feelings that I had away and was in such denial that there was any kind of spark between us. But after thinking that I had lost Daryl forever? There could be no denying it anymore. I was falling hard for the stupid redneck. And I was done denying that, whether he was or not.

I had been driving the motorcycle shakily for a while as I thought out everything. My hands were so sweaty on the bars that I would have to wipe them on my jeans every now and again. My heart rate was sky high the entire time I was on the damn bike, my legs shaking. I couldn't wait to get off of the fucking thing, so I lead my half of the herd away rather quickly and ditched them in no time.

Coming down the road in a zigzag because I could barely driving the fucking motorcycle, I caught sight of Daryl sitting on the side of the road with Glenn and Sash by his side. I praised whatever God would hear me. This nightmare was coming to an end and we could go back to the prison all in one piece.

Daryl stood up as I shakily drove the motorcycle up to him and hopped off of it. I more like fell off the bike, but Daryl's hands were there supporting me in a second. Seeing him alive made me so happy that I could have kissed him right then and there. But me being me I did the opposite.

I pulled my arm out of his steadying hold and reeled it back. I swung my fist at him, coming in solid contact with his arm. Hard.

He was startled and confused, taking a step back from me while he rubbed at his arm. I saw him getting ready to open his mouth and rip me a new one for hitting him, but I didn't give him the chance to speak.

"Don't you ever tell me to drive that fucking deathtrap again," I yelled.

He blinked at me before realizing that I was talking about his motorcycle, then the biggest fucking grin slowly spread across his face.

I wanted to stay mad, but if I’m honest I was just glad to see him with an expression that wasn’t full of hate for me. And maybe finally he had moved passed being angry at me and even if he didn’t like me the way that I liked him, we could at least go back to being normal fucking friend again.

Yeah, that wouldn’t be so bad.

***

Taglist:

@daryldixonandfrogs @jodiereedus22 @xchrisxevansx

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storytime-hoe · 5 years

Text

Tough Love Ch.12

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: Here ya go lads.

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10 Ch.11

I felt hollow. I felt alone, despite the fact that there were more people around me than I was comfortable with.

Sleep was not an option that night. When I closed my eyes all I saw was Daryl. Not the pissed off version of him or the softer version of him, but I saw that fucking look of hurt that he had the last time I had seen him. I bet he regretted every nice thought he ever had about me, if there even were any. He should have closed himself off from me like he did everyone else. I didn't deserve his friendship but he gave it to me anyway. And now we were hurting because of it.

The day after I caused an uproar, Sasha was at my door at sunrise. I didn't know Sasha too well, but I liked her better than most of the people here. She knew how to take care of herself and she was smart too. Plus, I liked that she didn't try to pry into the lives of others that didn't welcome her. She left me alone unless it was something important, never giving me a neighborly visit just to chat me up. So, she was here on business.

I sat up in the bed with a deep sigh, my lack of sleep was weighing me down. I didn't have the energy to ask her what she wanted, so I raised an eyebrow and waited for her to get the hint that that was her cue to speak.

"A few of us are going on a run. Thought we could use you with us if you’re up for it."

My mood immediately rose. Finally, I was being put to use. I felt a sense of pride that she came to me to join her and whoever else was going. It gave me that ego boost that I needed. It was good to know that my reputation hadn't been damaged during my forced time in recovery. People still saw me as a valuable member. Things were going to turn around. It was about time I had a good day, or at least I thought it was good until I went to meet the rest of the people going on the run with me.

I bounced outside cheerily, feeling the intoxicating anticipation of being out in the dangerous world again. But I stopped in my tracks as my eyes landed on Daryl tossing a leg over his motorcycle to sit on it.

Well fuck me then. How was I supposed to have a good day with him looking all gloom and doom the whole time? The answer was that I wasn't going to have a good day, I didn't deserve it anyhow. And with the dreadful look he got when he saw that I was coming too, I decided it best to stay out of his way. Daryl was too good of a person for me, so I would be doing him a favor by letting him forget about me. I wasn't going to attempt to heal what I had broken, it was for the best.

"We're taking the car," Sasha said, coming up behind you with her rifle in hand.

She tossed a few bags and more weapons into the small trunk of the car and hoped into the passenger seat as Glenn got into the drivers side. I sighed deeply with one last glance at Daryl on his bike. I couldn't help but feel he was riding separate from us because of me joining them. Had Sasha mentioned asking me to come along to him before she came to get me? She must not have, otherwise he would have stopped her. He didn't want me anywhere around him ever again, and I was trying real hard to accept that.

"How far out are we going?" I asked from the backseat once we were out on the road.

"Almost everywhere around has been cleared out already," Glenn explained. "The next town will be at least two hours out I'd say."

I peered over Sasha's shoulder as she showed me on the map where exactly the town we were looking for was located. The town was small enough we could probably clear out the entire place before we had to make the trip back. Glenn had already planned where our best exits would be in case we ran into any trouble. We didn't know if there were people there still, but if there were chances are they wouldn't be too friendly.

The car ride was a slow and quiet one. No one talked unless it was to give direction. The rumble of Daryl's bike behind us lulled me into a sleep that I was in great need of. It was probably the best nap of my entire fucking life. There were no dreams to keep me stirring and even though it wasn't the most comfortable bed, the back seat of the old car served it’s purpose.

But like everything pleasant in my life, it didn't last long.

The door I was leaned against opened with a quick swing, sending me falling backwards. I blinked in my confusion, rubbing the sleep from my eyes whilst I was hanging upside down from the car.

"C'mon, don' have fuckin' time for this," the impatient voice of Daryl growled from above me.

Once my eyes adjusted to the bright sun that shone down on him, I huffed at his displeased expression.

Turns out Daryl didn't just want to stop being my friend now, but he planned on being an even bigger asshole to me than he had been before. I didn't think that would be possible, but he never missed a chance to give me hell. Ever wrong move I made me was up my ass about it, but I just took his cruel words with a clenched jaw, not fighting back for the first time in my life.

Finally, we reached our last stop– a small convenience store. We entered quietly, each of us scanning a different corner of the room before deciding it was all clear. We split down a different isle each, scanning for any kind of items that we could take back with us, falling into the routine we have repeated a million times before.

I was standing with Sasha as she shoved cans of food into her backpack. My own bag was weighing down my shoulders, but I ignored the ache. That’s when I spotted the jackpot.

"Oh, hell yeah," I called out, making my way to the two bottles of vodka that had caught my eye.

I held the bottles and shook them at Sasha playfully, proud to see a smile spread over her as she shook her head at me. Soon enough Glenn and Daryl were popping into our isle to see what I was so excited about.

When no one responded to my enthusiasm I held my arms out in exasperation. "Well, lets have a few drinks." God knew I needed that right now.

"That's not a good idea Emma,” Sasha pointed out, standing up from her overflowing bag. “We would be extremely vulnerable, not thinking straight enough to defend ourselves if we needed.”

I knew it was a bad idea too, but the reckless side of me was being brought out by how shitty I was feeling all the time. I just wanted to get piss drink and not have a care in the world. Sure, I might not be able to walk straight, but it would be an experience. I just needed to convince them of that too.

"I don't know about you, but drunk me can still chop a dead fucker down. So, I say lets go for it," I smiled at them and I could tell that Sasha was suppressing the want to give in to my plan as she held back her smile.

But here came Daryl, the fucking stick in the mud.

"The hell s'wrong with ya," he complained, snatching one bottle away from me. "We have a damn job ta do, ain't no time ta fuckin' mess 'round."

I scrunched my nose and faced him with the same force of dominance that he had. "What's the matter Dixon? Afraid I'll out drink you?"

It had been the first time I talked back to him since the tragic events of last night. I'd let him push me around all fucking morning, telling myself I deserved it. He could hate me all he wanted, but I was done being his punching bag.

I might be crazy, but I think I saw a flicker of excitement pass in him. Was he glad that I was finally going to stick up for myself again? Did he enjoy bickering with me all the time?

I quirked an eyebrow at him, and shook the bottle at him temptingly, but his scowl never faltered.

He scoffed, painfully forcing himself to break his eyes away from mine. "Ain't scared of ya, just don' wan' us all ta end up dead."

"It's not a good idea right now Emma," Glenn agreed from behind Daryl's shoulder. I could tell he wanted to butt in the argument before it escalated. "Why can't we just take it back with us? That way we can all kill our livers in the safety of the prison later."

I felt my spirits deflate. They were all right. I was being a selfish bitch again. Maybe if I agreed with them and put the bottle in my backpack I could have it all to myself that night. It would be a good friend to cuddle and cry myself to sleep with tonight.

But before I could even bend to what they wanted, the sickening sound of Walkers rolled through the store. We all heard it at once, soft and distant at first, then loud and overpowering. I pushed past Daryl to get a look at the door of the store. The bottle of vodka slipped out of my hand and shattered onto the ground when I saw the swarm of Walkers.

They were filling the streets by the hundreds, and my stupidity of dropping the glass bottle drew them to the store we were in. I stared in awe as they began to file into the open doors.

Oh fuck. I broke from my paralyzation in an instant and made a break towards Sasha, who was holding the back door open and shouting for me to hurry up. I ran through the door and skidded to a stop behind Daryl and Glenn, searching wildly for somewhere to run, but the streets were getting more crowded by the minute.

I followed lead of the others who were firing at any Walker that came close to us, but it became too much too fast. I was was pushed back by the Walkers until I had been completely separated. The last I saw of them was the angel winged vest that Daryl wore before I groaned out of frustration and had to take off in a sprint in order to get away.

There were too many of them for me to out run forever. So, my next solution was to get higher ground. I spotted a tiny balcony above one of the shop doors. It was one of those things that was for design only, not for someone to walk out on, so there was no door leading out to it. However, that wasn't stopping me from getting to it as I rammed my gun into my waistband and started climbing up the skinny support beam.

I rolled over the railing of the balcony and laid on my back, taking in shaking breaths. Where the hell had all of the Wakers come from? There were so many of them, how the fuck did they catch us by surprise like that. I should have been more focused on shit like that, not planning to drunk. I was so stupid sometimes. They all told me it was a bad idea and I distracted them by arguing. If I had just agreed then we might have seen the herd coming and gotten out before... Wait, where the fuck had the others gone gone?

I sat bolt upright and scanned the sea of the dead. My eyes darted around rapidly, but the others were no where to be seen. My heart clenched at the thought of them being ripped apart. I could hear what their screams would sound like. Sasha. Glenn. Daryl. It haunted me, making my shake uncontrollably and my breaths become shallow. This couldn't be happening.

The balcony I was on rocked slightly and I looked down to see that the Walkers were shaking the beams holding it up. If the others were dead, I would be joining them soon enough. I needed to break out a window and crawl into the building that the balcony was attached to, but I couldn't make myself move. I still had hope that they could be out there and I couldn't convince myself otherwise right now.

I heard the gunshot before I saw the source, and I couldn't breath when my eyes landed on Sasha on top of a nearby roof. She had out her rifle and was picking off Walkers that shook my balcony. I met her eyes hopefully and slowly Glenn came into view behind her.

But where the fuck was Daryl.

I asked the question with my eyes before it even got a chance to reach my lips, but Sasha's slight shake of her head told me that she had no idea where he was, or if he was alive.

I turned back to glazing over the crowded street, my heart sinking with every growl from the dead.

"Daryl!" I screamed for him, but I knew there would be no response.

No. Fuck no. Daryl couldn't be gone. He would never leave like that; he was too stubborn to go down that easily. I needed him. He might hate me for life and yell every sentence he speaks at me from now on but I couldn't care less right now. I wanted my tempered redneck back and I wanted him now. He couldn't be gone, I wouldn't allow it. He was all I had these days, never failing to call me out on my shit but always someone I could rely on, no matter what he said last night or how he had treated me today.

And that's when it hit me, I couldn't imagine a life without him.

Holy shit. I gulped at the realization. I was hopelessly falling hard for that son of a bitch. And the worst part was that he would never know it. Because he was fucking gone. Forever.

***

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@daryldixonandfrogs @jodiereedus22 @xchrisxevansx

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storytime-hoe · 5 years

Text

Tough Love Ch.11

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: Hope you all enjoy this one! It’s a sad one I would say and we get some background info about Emma’s past. I kinda just made that part up without putting any forethought into it so it might be a little rough.

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10

It took me a few more weeks to recover from the bullet wound. I hated sitting around in my room, unable to go out on runs with the others. There were a lot of mouths to feed and I wished I could do something to help out. I had been a scavenger and looter from the beginning, so I obviously couldn't hunt down or track anything to eat like Daryl could. I really felt useless.

And that wasn't good for me because every day that went by that I wasn't able to be of any help, the more my thoughts started to become poisoned. I couldn't help but feel like a burden all the time like every other fucker here who had everything brought to them on a silver platter. It wasn't good for me or my mindset and eventually I slumped into a depression.

I used to have these periods of depression all the fucking time before the turn of everything. I lived in a shit trailer park with my mom and little brother. I would feel the crushing responsibilities of taking care of them both, even though that should not have been my fucking job, and I knew I would never surmount to anything more than a doublewide. I would end up just like my damn mother, and I couldn't stand her most of the time.

Don't get me wrong, I loved her, but fuck was she hard to love. She never held down a job, so my waitressing gig was all that brought in money for us. We kept our bellies full, which is all that we could ask for, but when we did have a little extra money for luxuries, Mom would blow it all on booze or gamble it all away.

As much as I hated her for her lifestyle, I saw myself becoming the exact thing. I already had my interest perked with gambling, but unlike her I still had some self control. Waisting money wasn't all on her either. I had to have a few smokes back then. Now those were what really got me through the dark times, that is before it became acceptable to chop down rotting humans, which is what I really needed to do if I was to get out of this slump.

When the day came that I could lightly run on my leg good enough, I made the decision to go out on my own. I took a gun and a backpack and marched myself straight towards the gates without anyone saying anything to me. That was to good thing about looking like a pissed off bitch all the time, people steered clear of you and never questioned your actions.

I thought I was going to get out free of curious minds until I heard the pesky little boy shuffle up behind me.

"Where are you going?"

I stopped in my tracks with a deep sigh. "I thought you might be happy to see me leave, Carl?"

The boy wasn't looking at me when I turned towards him, he kept his eyes trained on the gun at my hip. Rick had confiscated gun rights after he heard that Carl had shot an innocent boy in the fight against the Governor. There was some dark shit going on in his head, that was for sure.

"Well, don't get your hopes up too high. I'm coming back."

His lips pressed into a thin line. "Good."

My eyebrows raised in surprise. "Good? You want me around now?"

His expression was hard as he looked at me with a drawn brow. "Are you sure going out alone is a good idea? Daryl said we aren't sup–"

"I know what he told everyone," I interrupted with more anger in my voice than I'm proud of, but when it came to Daryl making rules for me I couldn't help it. "Listen, kid. Can you just keep quiet about this?"

"How long will you be gone?" He peered up from under his hat, interrogating me like the mini sheriff he was. There was no mistaking the worry in his words, however. I guess I really had grown on the little guy if he was actually worried about me.

I gave him a lopsided smile and said, "I'll be back before sun down. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I always am."

"I just think taking someone with you might be a good idea." He motioned back to the prison. "Michonne usually goes out around this time. Can't you just wait for her?"

I shrugged it off. I could've waited around, but I needed to be out on my own again. It was strange how I had sworn to be by myself for the rest of my life and then I was suddenly part of this group that was seeming to grow every minute. More and more people were brought in through the gates and it was becoming overwhelming, especially since I had not been able to escape. It was also exhausting trying to make everyone feel comfortable around me all the time. I tried being nice and smiling and to not be annoyed, but the more I tried the worse this stupor I was in got. For just this day I wanted to go out on my own and scream and hack down the dead and just feel what I wanted to. Not to mention how fucked up I was about what Beth had told me about Daryl liking me. I wanted my mind to shut the fuck up for a day, and the only way to do that was to be alone with a knife and some Walkers.

"How about I just meet up with Michonne once she heads out? I won't go far until she joins me."

He looked skeptical. This damn kid was always seeing through me.

"I promise," I lied, giving him a not so gently pat on the cheek, making a light smacking sound as I did.

Without another word I walked out of the gates of safety, ignoring the pang of guilt I felt about straight up lying to a child. Poor thing didn't deserve to worry over me so much.

I swallowed hard as I practically ran into the tree line, going much much farther out than I had intended. I really had wanted to stay rather close incase something did happen to me, it was my first day out after all, but being the mindless creature that I was I couldn't control the sense of freedom that swept me up and carried me through the trees.

I felt alive, like nothing could touch me now. I was an invincible motherfucker out here once again. An invincible motherfucker who was slightly lost.

It took me well past nightfall to see the lights of the prison shinning through the trees once again. I expected to walk back in unnoticed. To go straight to the newly fixed shower house and wash away the sweat and grime that I had accumulated. I expected no one to really notice or really care that I had been out passed when I claimed I'd return. But boy was I fucking wrong.

Whoever was keeping watch in the tower must have alerted everyone that I was approaching because inside the gates I was greeted by an angry looking Rick with Carl marching up behind him.

"You ratted me out," I accused the kid instantly.

"Carl did the right thing," Rick began, his voice reminding me of the tone my school principal would use when I got in trouble. Wow, what a throw back.

Just like back in school, I rushed to explain myself and make up a few excuses along the way. Talking myself out of trouble was a gift of mine. I had done in the previous world and in the current one on multiple occasions. I remember getting caught red handed looting some camps, but with a few well placed tears and a convincing story, people will let you get away with anything.

"I said I'd be back aft–"

"You also said you'd meet up with Michonne," Carl interrupted me before I could even get started.

Rick looked back at Carl and pointed at the prison door. "Why don't you go inside. Keep Judith company."

He wasn't too pleased that he was about to miss my scolding, but I was sure as hell happy he wouldn't have the honor. How embarrassing was this? An adult woman who was about to have a her ass beat because she went for a stroll. Pathetic.

"We were worried sick," he began after Carl had gone. "People were out looking for you."

I shook my head. "They shouldn't have been. Don't risk other lives for me. I didn't mean to scare everyone, but I needed to take a day by myself. This whole 'living in a community thing' is new to me."

"You're one of us now. We get concerned where the safety of one of our own is involved. Whether it be you or any of the others, going out alone isn't an option, especially if you just recently recovered from a serious injury. There are plenty of people who, I think, would be willing to join you anytime you wanted to go out."

I wanted to roll my eyes, but I reframed. This was a load of horse shit. "I don't need any permission to go where I want to. Hell, I could walk out forever right now if I wanted."

"That's true," his tone was much calmer, but the disappointment in his eyes ate away at me. "But it'd hurt an awful lot of people to see you go."

His eyes bore into me, making the guilt wash over me just before he turned to walk back inside. I had always been so petrified of losing people over and over again, that I had never thought about how they would feel if I was the one to disappeared. Beth had become a close friend, she would be heartbroken, I'm sure. More than she was when her boyfriend died that one time on a run. She hadn't been blinked an eye when she heard the news, but she was just unfazed by shit like that now. I saw the real sadness in her eyes when she would tell me about people from the past, it weighed her down like it did any other person. Carol too. I would chat with her some nights. She had all sorts of people that were taken away from her, we all did, and when she talked about someone like her dead daughter, the hurt was as strong as if it had just happened that day.

That's the thing about loosing people. The pain never really goes away. It chips away at a piece of your heart and that piece never fucking comes back, it's just gone.

I had been one selfish bitch to risk putting that hurt into anyone. God, Daryl would lose his fucking mind if I never came back. Or I assumed he would after how he had worried about my leg healing. He was really keen on being my protector after what we had gone through together, probably because he felt bad for me. Either way he no doubt was worried shitless when I was out alone. I cursed myself for doing that to him. Sure, he drove me crazy sometimes, but I never wanted to hurt him like that.

The cool wind blew hard against me and I went to take my first step towards the door to find Daryl. I owed him an apology, it was the least I could do. But before I got anywhere the door slammed open and out came one wound up Dixon.

I hadn't seen him in days, but he wore the same look that said "I'm going to fucking kill you". Why had I missed that look?

"The hell were ya thinkin'?"

Coming at me like that was not the best move. My defensive walls were up in a second and I was in his face yelling in a heartbeat.

"I was thinking I needed a minute alone. Sorry it got your panties all in a twist to see me enjoying myself instead of wallowing in a cell all fucking day."

"I would've gone with ya," he started, his eyes flashing with a hurt that I instantly wished I could fix. Why the fuck couldn't I calm down and explain everything to him like a normal person. I needed to tell him how depressing the prison was getting and that I know he wanted what was best for my by making me rest for weeks but that didn't stop the fact that I was losing my damn mind. But of course I wasn't that type of normal person.

"I don't think you understand what alone means." I wanted to keep the fire in my voice, but it was flittering away at a rapid pace. I felt like shit and he was making me feel worse about what I had done by the second. I cowered under his harsh stare slightly, my arms crossed over my chest in a lame attempt to make me look bolder.

"I don' think ya understand that ya coulda been fuckin' killed." He was still yelling at top velocity despite me backing down, his voice a graveling husk. I think he expected a heated argument from me like always, but I was in the wrong on this and I knew it. I know when to admit that at least.

"I'm sorry." He wasn't expecting a genuine apology, so he was taken aback by it. It took everything in me to swallow down my pride and continue. "I didn't think it would bother everyone like this. I didn't realize you all cared so much."

His throat bobbed with a swallow. I wished to fucking God that I could read what was going on in his head, but he hid it all so well. "Yeah," he huffed out, nodding his head slightly. "Our fucking mistake."

There it was, another piece of my heart breaking away.

I really fucked up this time. I wanted to make it better. I wanted to scream at him that I was fine and I wouldn't do it again and that I cared about him more than I was even comfortable with. I wanted to get over myself and wrap my arms around him like I had so many nights ago during my panic attack.

I didn't want to loose a friend like Daryl Dixon. I never wanted to hurt people like that. I didn't realize I had the power to hurt anyone anymore until Rick had told me so. I only wished I had realized it sooner.

I didn't want this hurt that pounded in my chest, not only from my own broken piece, but because I had been the cause of a piece of Daryl’s heart cracking away too.

Except maybe this time I could put the pieces back together somehow.

I doubt it.

***

Taglist:

@daryldixonandfrogs @jodiereedus22 @xchrisxevansx

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storytime-hoe · 5 years

Text

Tough Love Ch.10

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: Okay so heres the sitch. This chapter is going to be really short. I am sorry for that. BUT. Here’s the thing, I just want to get something out here for you guys cause it has been too long. Again... sorry.

I will be posting more frequently now that I’m getting some stuff finished off. So for now you’ll have to suffer with a short chapter with a cute little Beth moment.

I wrote it rather quickly and my mind is a jumble sometimes so things that make sense to me might not make sense in the story so like again so sorry but oh well about that one.

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9

I've never felt more useless in my entire life.

Everywhere I went to try and help out around the place, I was turned down. "You need to rest up." "Get off of that leg." It was all the same damn excuse. My leg was holding me back and it got on my nerves real fucking fast.

"I am so sick of people looking at me like I'm incapable of doing anything at all!" I complained rather loudly to Beth from my bed.

Beth had come by for the past few days with Judith to keep me company. At first I was wary that she might just be being nice to me because she wanted something from me, but slowly I was warming up to her after I came to the conclusion that she meant no harm. I think maybe she was getting a little lonely too, seeing how she was cramped up in the prison all day as well.

"I can't be kept in this room all my life. I should be out there looking for the Governor."

Beth sat on the edge of the bed, rocking Judith lightly, not looking at all bothered by my sour mood. "Michonne and Daryl are out every day looking. Besides, it's just until you can run on your leg. What would happen if you came up on a hoard and couldn't get away? It's not forever, you're just being dramatic. The bullet was pretty deep, so it makes sense that it's still in bad shape."

"Fuck my leg," I pouted next to her, leaning back against the cool cement wall and crossing my arms over my chest. "Fuck Rick too. He's the reason no one will let me do fucking anything around here. He went around telling everybody that I needed to take it easy. Now they look at me like I'm a fucking three-legged puppy and tell me that it would be best if I go lie down."

I was staring out in front of me as I seethed about the situation, waiting for Beth to have a counter point and defend Rick by saying how everyone wanted me to recover fast and they were doing this for my own good and all that bullshit. But she never did. I sat up curiously and looked around at her sly grin as she patted on Judith's back. I scanned her knowing smile carefully. She was keeping something from me. She knew something that I didn't, but what the actual fuck could it be that made her smile all smug like that.

"What is it?" I demanded, bringing my legs up into the bed with me, unable to contain my absolute need to understand what was on her mind. "What do you know?"

Her eyes had a mischievous glint to them as she flicked her gaze over to me. "Wasn't Rick," was all she whispered with a slight shake of her head.

I furrowed my brow, craving more information. "Beth, what the fuck are you on about?"

"You shouldn't use that language around the baby," she said in an attempt to quickly change the subject.

I rolled my eyes and shook her arm lightly. "Beth. Come on."

She still had that soft grin on. The one that I was fighting not to hate right now. "Daryl told everyone not to let you do anything. Everyone here basically worships him too, so they listen without question when they get an order from him."

I blinked at her twice, not trusting what I had just heard. Daryl was the reason people were treating me like a child? He was the reason I was going crazy inside these cement walls. It was not his damn place to control what I did. I was so furious at him that I hadn't realized the death grip I had on Beth until she squirmed away from me. I quickly apologized and stood up, ready to wait for Daryl to return from his Governor hunting so I could give him an ear full.

I was so overwhelmingly furious that Daryl was the one to betray me like this. He knew damn well that I was itching to get back out there and he was torturing me in his own sick little way. Fuck him. All good thoughts I had had about him flew from my mind in an instant. I didn't care that he was there to comfort me on the night of my panic attack. I didn't care about how good I felt when I was with him sometimes, like when I woke up strewn across him. The only thing I could think of was that he had done this to me as a way to drag at me. He saw me at my weak points, and he was making sure everyone else was seeing it too. That arrogant little fuck.

"I'm gonna kill that son of a–"

"Emma, stop." Beth was off the bed right after me. She grabbed my wrist and pulled me away from the door before I could march out and make an even bigger fool of myself than Daryl already had. "Don't you think it's... I don't know... sort of sweet?"

"Sweet?!" I exploded. Beth had lost her damn mind. The only time he ever did anything close to sweet for me was the panic attack incident. Even then he didn't want to stay with me, he had wanted to get Maggie and be rid of the situation. I only made him stay because I couldn't stand for more people to know how weak I was being then, and he only stayed because he owed me for being his shoulder to cry on when Merle died. Beth didn't understand that his way of thinking was not something to call sweet when it came to me. I was still set on the conclusion that he was punishing me.

Beth giggle and guided me to sit back down. "He cares about you, Em. Come on, don't be dense. Everyone sees the way he looks at you."

I blinked at her stupidly, my anger sizzling down. "And how's that?" I said with a snarl.

She was looking down, her eyes glistening with a strange wonder. "No one knows a lot about him or his past, but he had a shit home life, that's no secret. And when he looks at you, it's like he's found what's been missing, like he has finally found someone that feels like home."

I swallowed thickly. We all knew he had had a shit life before the world ended. He was practically raised by Merle who would drag him into all kinds of messed up shit. So, it made sense that he was searching for someone he felt was solid in his life. But there was no way in hell that person was me. Did I even want it to be me? No, it couldn't be me.

"It's not true, Beth." I didn't sound as convincing as I would have liked. "Look at me. I'm not the type of person that guys care about like that. I don't even look nice. He's not interested in a piece of shit like me."

She met my eyes with a mesmerizing look. "I didn't say he liked you because you looked nice. Emma, you are art. Art isn't supposed to look nice. It's supposed to make you feel something."

I wanted to deny it until I was blue in the face, but the more she talked the more I thought it could be true. We may fight like cats and dogs, but he has told me before he'd protect me always. He was talking about from the Governor, but maybe that's what he was doing now. He was protecting me from getting myself hurt more or worse. After years of protecting other people, I wasn't used to being on the other side of things.

As much as I wanted to whoop his ass right now for sentencing me to do nothing at all, I couldn't bring myself to do it. After all those years of fighting, I, for once, was being fought for. And it made me feel those annoying little tingles of excitement and it also scared the shit out of me at the same time.

What was I even supposed to do with this new information? It wasn't like I was going to jump into his arms and we would ride off into the sunset. The only reason we were drawn to each other was because we were both recently broken apart; people who go through deep shit tend to migrate towards each other. We might look out for one another and always have each others backs, but it was just a friendship– a strong bond. There was nothing I was going to do to change that and Daryl sure as hell wasn't going to be making any kind of move either. Because even if Beth claimed he looked at me like every girl wants to be looked at, that was just her fantasizing about it in her optimistic rainbow loving mind.

And that was that.

***

Taglist:

@daryldixonandfrogs @jodiereedus22 @xchrisxevansx

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storytime-hoe · 5 years

Text

Tough Love Ch.9

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: So sorry I am getting later on posts. But I really like this chapter and I hope you guys do too its a lot of fluff and shit. So who doesn’t like that right

Thanks for being understanding everyone and I love you all and thank you for always giving feedback!

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8

I sat in my own cell room finally. All the others that had clambered off the bus from Woodbury were well asleep by now, after we cleaned out many more cellblocks in order to house them all. I should've been asleep by now too, but the thing was I couldn't. Every nerve in my body was tense. Everyone was just sort of hoping and praying that the Governor was dead, but that's crazy to think it would be that easy or simple. He was alive and he would be back for me. I knew he would come back for me. He would want me again and he would run his hands up and down my body again and he would...

My breaths were short gasps. I didn't know what was happening to me. I put a hand to my chest, feeling my heart beating rapidly out of control. Fear of not being able to control myself seized me and I felt the tears stream down my cheeks and my body temperature get feverishly hot. I shook my head and sobbed harder, trying to get all the invasive thoughts about the Governor out of my head because, like always, he was the cause of this nightmare.

I stumbled out of my cell and held onto the railing that overlooked the rest of the sleeping prison. I pressed my hand over my mouth to force myself to be silent and keep in my crying. The last thing I wanted was for people to see or hear me like this. They would all worry about me and see me as some weak piece of shit. I could get through this without any help. I would get through this without any help.

When I heard people shuffling around I freaked even more, running for one of the doors to outside. I didn't remember at the time, but Rick had mentioned that someone would be keeping watch here at all times incase the Governor did return. We were doubling up on watching outposts and someone would be in the fenced in area that I headed for, but I wasn’t thinking straight. In fact the only thing I was thinking was how i needed to run away from people and from my own mind and from all the problems of the world that swirled around me like a demonic plague.

I burst through the door and hit the fence, still gasping for air as the cool wind washed over my flushed skin. I looked out over the courtyard before squeezing my eyes closed, trying my best to control my breathing. I felt another stream of tears come with my incoherent thoughts about the Governor returning. He would be back for me. He would be back. I couldn't stop him then and I won't be able to stop him now. I was too weak, I can't do anything to fight against him.

Someone clearing their throat behind me sent another jolt of fear up my spine. I whirled around, my body visibly shaking with fear.

Daryl stood there with his hands shoved down into his pockets and his face drawn in concern. "S'wrong?"

I tried to speak but only little gasps came out. He analyzed the situation rather quickly and blinked at me, not knowing what the fuck he was supposed to do. In two long strides he was directly in front of me, searching my face with an overwhelming amount of concern. When his calloused hands closed around my arms I lost my shit again.

All I could think about or feel was the Governor's hands closing around my wrists, pulling me around to where he wanted me to go or pinning my down on a table or against the wall. It was a literal fucking nightmare, except the catch was that I couldn't just wake the fuck up.

Daryl recoiled from me upon seeing me reacting worse when he touched me. I couldn't get the words out for him to not touch me, but Daryl usually didn't need words to understand what I was feeling anyway. He understood me like he was a God damn mind reader sometimes.

Getting flustered now, Daryl took a few more steps back, giving me as much space as I needed. "I'll get Maggie," he suggested, thinking she could help better than he.

But there was no fucking way I was letting anyone else see my embarrassing breakdown. It was bad enough Daryl had caught me in this state, but if it had to be somebody I would prefer it be him. We had seen each other at our lowest points I feel like, so him seeing me like this wasn't as bad. Plus, his presence always seemed to calm me down for some fucking reason. It was like I felt okay when I was with him, as if he could protect me. God... I was a fucking pussy.

Daryl turned to retrieve Maggie like he had said, but I rushed forward and grabbed his hand before he could leave. He halted in place, looking to me for explanation as to why I didn't want him to go. I don't think he got the message, but he didn't leave regardless. He just let me stand there, holding his hand like a child, until my breathing started to return to normal. I felt utterly exhausted as I tried to only focus on his thumb rubbing at the back of my sweaty hand.

I don't know what the fuck came over me, but I suddenly yanked on his hand hard, pulling him to me so I could wrap my arms around his neck in a tight hug.

He flinched at first, probably thinking I was going to hurt him instead of hug him. Hell, I had never shown any kind of affection to anyone since the world went to shit, so being thrown off guard was valid. I just really needed a fucking hug right now, now that I could stand to be touched again after that episode. I needed to know that there was someone who could save me from drowning in my own cowardly mind. I was stupid to think the Governor would ever return for me. Even if he did come back, he didn’t give a shit about whether I was alive or not. That made me even more upset to think about how he could put me through so much pain only to forget about me in a few hours. He gets to roam the world, unaffected by what he did to me, while I’m sat here letting myself think up irrational situations that send me head over heels into a panic attack.

It took Daryl only a second to relax against me and return my hug by wrapping his arms tight around my middle. His touch was timid after I had been so horrified at his touch earlier, but when his hand came up to hold the back of my head I swear I liquified in his grasp.

As childish as it may sound, I had thought of this before, how it would feel for Daryl to hug me to him. This was not the situation I had hoped for, however. I looked like a weak little bitch at the moment, unable to keep myself together. He didn't seem to mind though, only held me tighter. I nuzzled into the crook of his neck gratefully and breathed in the scent of cigarettes and leather. He was dirty and sweaty and gruff and exactly what I needed.

After my trembling ceased and my breaths were evenly natural, he spoke but didn't pull away from me. "Wanna talk 'bout it?"

I knew he was only asking because I had been there for him when he was having his breakdown back when Merle died. He needed someone and I was all there was. Now our positions were switched. He didn't really care, he just felt that he owed me. Or at least that was what I convinced myself anyways.

"The Governor," was all I was able to squeak out.

"He ain't comin' back," Daryl sounded so sure of it. "And he sure as hell ain't gettin' to you."

His reassuring words only mildly comforted me. "You don't know that. He'll come back and he'll hurt me again and..." Another burst of fear strangled back the rest of my sentence.

Daryl did pull away from me now so he could get a good look at me. "Did he–?" He wanted confirmation about what he already assumed, but the question died at his lips. He thought better of asking details about the Governor. Deep down he knew the Governor raped me, so what was the point in asking and opening up old wounds.

I refused to meet his eyes, ashamed of what had happened to me. I was a little scared of how he would react too, like he would think less of me because of it. I worked my entire life to come off as a girl who could handle herself. I was supposed to look tough all of the time, supposed to be unbreakable. But here I was, fucking broken.

"If that Governor isn't already dead," Daryl said, his voice a guttural growl of hatred. "I'll fucking kill that man. I'll rip him to pieces if I see him again."

I swiped my eyes with the back of my hand and huffed out a harsh laugh. "Not if I beat you to it."

The corner of his mouth switched up into a smile and I felt my entire body relax at the sight. He had gotten me out of me attack for the most part, but I still didn't want to go back inside. I didn't want to feel trapped inside of there just yet. I needed the sense of freedom that being outside was giving me and Daryl sensed that too.

"You can stay here t'night. I'll go keep watch in the tower." He was already gathering up his things that he had out here with him and getting ready to leave me alone when I caught him by the elbow, less aggressively than I had stopped him earlier.

He looked back at me questioningly still yet. "Do you–" I felt like an idiot asking. I seriously wanted to kick myself in the face sometimes. "Do you think you could stay."

I watched him think it over, swallowing hard. I was relieved when he nodded slowly, biting at his lip. "Yeah."

"I have these nightmares of him. I just can't be alone right now." I hated how weak my voice sounded, but it was true. Being alone was not an option anymore, Daryl had been right when he told me that on our way home after Merle had been killed. "We can't do anything without people anymore." I let the words flutter from my lips, hoping he would recognize that they were his own. I made my decision right then and there. I wasn't leaving this group, even if they had killed the Governor. I couldn't handle the world alone anymore. That might mean I will see the people I care about here getting hurt, but I suppose it was all worth the risk.

Daryl wore a soft grin on his lips. He understood why I needed to stay and he understood why I needed him with me right now. He had nightmares too, maybe not like I did, but everyone had them these days.

He sat down with his back against the fence and I followed suit. We sat shoulder to shoulder and I was pleased when he let my head fall to rest on him without a fight. I sat that way, listening to his deep breaths until my exhaustion beat out the fear that was keeping me up, and I was consumed with darkness.

***

I woke up feeling better than I ever had. I must have actually slept that night. Strange.

The morning sun was beginning to shine down on me, enveloping me in an indescribable warmth. I took a deep breath, keeping my eyes closed to enjoy the comfort I felt, snuggling down closer to the person I was laying on, their arm wrapped tightly around my shoulders like a blanket of safety. My insides swarmed with a hazy comfort. I would stay that way for the rest of my life if I could.

Then realization dawned on me.

My eyes shot open as the events of last night came back to be in a rush. Daryl had let me stay with him and I fell asleep on his shoulder. I must have moved in my sleep without realizing it because I wasn’t just on his fucking shoulder now.

Instead, my cheek was pressed up against his hard chest, rising and falling with his breaths. I was partially on top of him with one leg thrown over top of his. His heavy arm was drawn across my shoulders, holding me securely up against him.

I was seized at how utterly embarrassed I would feel if he woke up to see that I was latched onto him like a leech. I really needed to get out of here and fast, but he was just so warm. I rolled my eyes up to see him snoozing away still and I decided that a few more seconds wouldn't hurt, he just felt too damn good.

Wait... what? No. No. No. No. I was not letting myself think like that right now. I had just come to terms with having friends, there was no way in hell I was going to get involved in anything romantic right now. Just the idea of it was hysterical. He would probably be disgusted if he woke up right now. How could I even think he would feel just as good as I did right now. We practically hated one another almost all the fucking time. We were always bitching about something the other was doing or saying or whatever. We were never together under happy circumstances. It was always either depressing moments where we needed comfort or disagreeing and bullshit arguments. And I needed to peel out before this turned into another one of those arguments.

I glanced up to check one more time if he was awake. His deep breaths told me he was not. I slowly peeled myself away from him ever so carefully. He probably noticed me against him at some point in the night, but I prayed he didn't register it was me, just like I hadn't registered it at first either.

Once I was free of his grasp I took one final look at his sleeping form before I grinned and hobbled back inside to get ready for the day. Because with all these fucking people here now, it was bound to be a long one.

***

Taglist:

@daryldixonandfrogs @jodiereedus22 @xchrisxevansx

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storytime-hoe · 5 years

Text

Tough Love Ch.8

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: This is up late I am sorry guys I just got back from vacation and haven’t been in a good mood to write. Also, I did not edit this well and I just free wrote this for the most part so sorry for mistakes or boring parts. But enjoy Emma actually caring about people and being worried and becoming part of the group.

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7

Sometimes I wished I wouldn't wake up. That my body would just decide that I had done enough and let me sleep for the rest of eternity. Not those restless sleeps where you wake up every five seconds from nightmares either, but the kind where you don't feel anything, the kind where your mind shuts off. Not dead exactly but not quite alive either.

Surviving was becoming exhausting. My world had ended many times, even before the dead had started walking the earth. Even though I didn't want death as badly as I had in the past, there was still parts of me that wanted to give up on a daily basis. But today could not be that day, even if I felt like a useless human being when I woke up, drained of all energy.

I pressed the palms of my hands into my eyes, my body aching at the slightest movements. I could hear people rustling around outside of my new room, but I was surprised when I turned my head to the side to see someone was sitting in the floor beside me.

Daryl was leaned against the wall with his head leaned over against the bed railing. He was out cold. The previous day really did a toll on the both of us. We experienced the death of someone we both cared about. Even though I hadn't known Daryl for more than a week, we had seen each other at pretty vulnerable states. We went through some shit together and somehow it made it feel like we had known each other for an eternity.

It gave me a strange warm feeling to think about it–how we were growing closer and closer to each other. I never thought I would feel comfortable with another human again, but he was different. We were not friends really. We hated each other too much to be friends. He talked some real shit to me sometimes, no doubt, and I always pushed back at him, but as I looked at him sitting there in a deep sleep, I could almost imagine that maybe in another world we could have been friends. We might’ve gotten along if circumstances were different and I wasn’t so afraid of getting hurt again and again.

But Daryl would be taken from me eventually. So would everyone else. In the end I would be alone again whether I liked it or not, that was just how it was meant to be. Good thing for me was that I would be leaving all of them before I got to witness the inevitable moment when the Walkers would rip into them all. I couldn’t make myself stick around them when I knew that would happen.

I took a deep breath, my eyes still on the sleeping Daryl. I pushed all thoughts of any kind of friendship that I longed for from my mind. I needed to wake him up before my mind wandered any further.

I pulled the pillow out from under my head with a groan and chucked it at him, waking him with a start. "What the hell are you still doing here?" I asked groggily.

He grabbed the pillow and tossed it back at me with an annoyed grunt and a familiar scowl. "Told Hershel I'd watch ya through the night. Ya lost a lot of blood."

"I feel like shit," I mumbled into my arm that I let lay across my face, blocking out the light that made my head pound.

"Ya ain't lookin' so hot either," he grumbled and pushed himself to his feet with a rare smirk.

I didn't get the chance to retort before Beth came in holding baby Judith in her arms. She looked between me and Daryl while she rocked the baby gently. "Rick says it's time to go. We need to be ready."

I sat up in the bed, which I immediately regreted. My head whirled around and Daryl reached a hand out to steady me, but he stopped in his tracks at my glare. I needed to do this on my own, and thank God he understood and respected that. I used the bed to pull myself to my feet and stabilize me, but I still felt Daryl close by me incase I would need him, which I only found slightly annoying.

I hissed through my teeth at the soreness in my thigh from the bullet wound. Looking at Beth I asked, "What's going on?"

"We've made a plan for how to deal with the Governor. You're too injured to fight so you'll be with me and Judith, Carl, and Daddy."

I snapped my head around to look at Daryl accusingly. I was not about to sit by while they all fought the Governor. I turned a little too fast to face Daryl, who crossed his arms and got ready for the inevitable argument. "I'm fighting with you guy–"

"Nah," he said before I even finished my sentence.

"I am too. The only reason I am here is to make sure the Governor dies and you're fucking crazy if you think I am going to sit this one out."

"We can take care of it. I promise. Rick says it's best if you go with Hershel. You know you aren't in any condition to fight."

"Rick doesn't know what's best for me. I do."

Daryl was hovering over me, intoxicatingly close. He was trying to scare me into listening to him again, but there was no fucking way. "Why do you need to do this? I said we can take care of it." His voice grew more angry with every word.

I shook with the want for him to understand, but I was not willing to open up to people about my reasoning. No matter how comfortable I felt talking to Daryl now, I couldn't bring myself to talk about it entirely.

"You know what he did to me," I shouted in his face desperately. "I had to spend weeks in a little room not knowing who the fuck was going to come through the door or what the fuck they were planning to do with me. You didn't have to go through that. I would've rather him kill me than put me through what he did, Daryl." My voice dropped to a low volume. "So, yeah, I need to do this."

Daryl's eyes were full of a hate I had never seen in him before. I thought and felt many things when I was around Daryl, but fear was never one of those thoughts. It was now. He looked so wound up in a dark and dangerous emotion that it scared me to the core.

I knew the hate he wore plainly on his face wasn't towards me though, it was all for the Governor. His furry practically rolled off of him in waves. I'm sure he assumed what the Governor had done to me, I basically told everyone outright when Andrea first showed up. I can still see that offended look on her face when I stated that I'd fucked her precious little boyfriend too. But the way I had phrased it might've made it look like I was just trying to get under Andreas skin, which was partially true.

I never really said I unwillingly fucked him though, but I think most of them got the picture. Daryl must have too judging by the look he was sporting now. I could tell he would rip the Governor apart if he got the chance. The almost inaudible growl that he released with every heavy tempered breath he took told me as much. He looked deep into my eyes with a sort of understanding and something that was extremely protective.

I felt that damn warm feeling spread inside of me again at that thought. I spent my entire life being the protector of my mother or my brother or even friends. I never had someone to look after me and make sure that I was always safe. It felt different to have Daryl actually care about me. A good kind of different.

"Let me do this, Daryl," I whispered. It was all much more than being hurt physically. It was about the things the Governor did that would never be healed. He was in my head constantly now. I spent my life being fearless, but now he paralyzed me with it. I wanted to think I couldn't be broken. I wanted to be strong enough to not need this revenge, but I'm not.

"Ya can't even stand upright," he motioned to me leaning up against the bed.

I silently pleaded with my eyes. I had to do this. I had to contribute to the fight.

"Fine." I didn't realize we were so close, but when he spoke I could feel his breath blow softly against my skin.

Beth looked on wordlessly still at the doorway. The baby let out a cry and she turned to leave just as Glenn came to rush us along.

Daryl went to follow Beth out, but stopped next to Glenn. "She's stayin' with us," he informed him with a jerk of his head in my direction.

Glenn looked at me and fumbled with his words. "Bu– Rick said–"

"She's stayin' with us," Daryl said. His tone let Glenn know that that was the end of the discussion.

Glenn rolled his eyes as Daryl went out of sight to get ready for the Governor. "Fine," Glenn sighed out. "Here." He handed me my bowie knife that I stuck into my belt along with a handgun. The rifle he handed me next I slung over my shoulder with a strap, ignoring how much it actually weighted me down.

I looked down at myself to notice I was still covered in my own blood with a mixture of what I assume to be Merle's blood. I swallowed hard at the memory. I still had on the baggy tank-top with the bottom half of it torn away. My jeans were caked in mud and thick red blood from my injury, not to mention that Hershel had cut away the bottom half of my jeans on the injured leg.

Daryl wasn't kidding when he said I wasn't looking so hot. I bet I looked like a bulldozer had run me over. It had been ages since I had looked in a mirror. I had never found the urge before to check what I looked like, but a small part of me was curious about how I had changed since I last saw myself.

"Come on. Everyone is about ready."

I followed Glenn out of the prison with more difficulty than I would like to admit. I didn't let all of my weight rest on my injured leg, but instead hopped along using the wall as a sort of crutch.

The cars outside were being loaded up with all of the supplies that we had, emptying out the prison entirely.

I heard Daryl talking to Carol as he cleaned his motorcycle. "Merle ain't ever done anything like that in his hole life," he said to her, still reminiscing on his older brother's death.

She grinned at him in a comforting way. "He gave us a chance."

I took a deep breath. I really hope he did give us a chance. I was nervous all the way to where Glenn told me to hide out on the catwalk with Carol.

The plan was pretty simple, the Governor would come rolling in shooting and reeking havoc. We needed to stay quiet until he was done waisting his ammo, thinking we would be inside. Once they entered the prison and saw that no one was there, Daryl would sound off the prison alarm. That was when the rest of us come out from hiding and fire at them while they struggle to fight off the Walkers that would be chasing them out of the tombs.

The plan was pretty good, but I still felt unsure. I gripped my rifle tightly, knowing that if things went south I was in no condition to successfully flee from the scene. I would be stuck here, but I tried not to think too much on it as bent down in my position behind metal sheeting that lined the fences.

It felt like an eternity of silence before the Governor pulled up with multiple cars. Explosions went up in seconds with the guard tower being the first to go. Thousands of gun shots rang out, fueling my adrenaline. Men started shouting and loading into the prison with military tactic. My hands grew sweatier every second just waiting for the signal to fire.

The Governor walked calmly up to the prison doors, his gun in hand. I wanted nothing more than to shoot through his eyepatch and kill him once and for all. But, I knew I had to be patient. I reluctantly sat by and watched him go inside the prison block after his men.

They were in there for a good while when the alarms finally started going off. Shouts and smoke soon filled the inside and outside of the prison. Glenn and Maggie fired rapidly at the ones retreating from the Walker infested tombs. I popped up from my place and took a few shots at them as well. Several shots came back at me in return, but I was quick enough to take cover, the bullets pining off of the metal protection.

I risked coming up several more times, each moment I spent looking for only one person, the Governor. Finally I saw him rushing out of the smoking prison. As if sensing me, his head sharply turned in my direction, his attention falling upon only me. His glower was blood curdling. I'm sure he was surprised to see me alive after he left Merle to kill me, but he should know by now I was hard to keep dead. I caused him a lot of trouble since he's known me, and the anger that he shook with told me he was going to get me back. I hoped my look told him the same thing.

Before long all the men retreated to their cars and drove off in a hurry, coming to the conclusion that they could not beat us after our ambush. The alarms were shut off and while everyone raced to the gate to watch them go, I hobbled up the rear.

"We should go after them," Michonne was saying as I approached the group.

"We should finish it," Daryl agreed.

"It is finished. Didn't you see them hightail it outta here?" Maggie said breathlessly.

"They could regroup," Michonne argued.

"He's not gonna stop." Glenn bit his lip and stared out in the direction they retreated to.

"You're right. We can't keep living like this," Carol agreed.

"So we take the fight back to Woodbury," Maggie said hypothetically. "We barely made it back last time."

My mind shot to the day she was referring to; the day they saved me. I was a complete stranger and the first person to look at me like I wasn't a piece of trash had been Daryl. He knew my pain of feeling worthless, I know that now. He could have shot and killed me back then like I wanted him to do, but he didn't. He was looking out for me then like he was now. What a fucking considerable man.

"I don't care," Daryl said as he shifted from one foot to the other, never able to stand still while there was a fight to be fought. When he looked at me I could tell he really didn't care if he made it back. He was out for blood. He was hungry for that Governor's head to be served to me on a platter and he would make that happen if it killed him.

That's why I couldn't let him do it. Another reason I always kept distant from people was so they wouldn't care about me either. But you don't get to pick who cares about you in this world. I didn't want anyone to risk anything for me, and this pain in the ass was going to do it anyway despite my efforts.

While Rick went inside we started getting a truck ready for the trip to Woodbury, and we began discussing who exactly would be going on the trip.

"We're staying," Glenn said matter of factly. "We don't know where the Governor is. If he comes back, we will hold him off."

"You ain't goin' either," Daryl said to me from across the truck. I opened my mouth to protest but he held up his hand to stop me from arguing. "You can barely walk. You ain't goin'."

I huffed but agreed. I couldn't be stupid enough to think I was able to march into battle with them. "Fine. But stop being blinded by your fucking temper and think for a minute."

He turned to face me defensively with his hands holding onto his crossbow's strap that was around his shoulder. "The hell you mean?"

"I can see it in you. I can see you would do anything to get back at the Governor. But don't let that cloud your judgment and get people killed. Okay? If it's too dangerous you better haul ass back here in a second. Don't you dare let you or any of them get hurt because you're too big of a stubborn ass to stop yourself from being reckless."

Why the fuck did I care so much about him? Why couldn't I just turn off my damn emotions? It was getting way out of hand. I wanted so so badly not to care about any of them and I was even a dick to them because I didn't want to get attached. But here I fucking was, a little bitch who would loose my fucking mind if any of these people got hurt. I turned out liking everyone in the group a shit ton more than I originally planned. I caught feelings for all of them like a damn amateur.

He scoffed and shrugged his shoulders. "We ain't gonna get killed." He said it with so much confidence and I could tell he really thought that. But it could happen and I would be broken again if it did.

"Promise me," I breathed so quietly I wasn't sure he'd heard me.

"We have to go after him today, Em. Nothin's gonna happen–"

He really wasn't understanding how much I fucking meant what I said, was he.

I shoved at his chest with both my hands and the serious look on his face washed over him. "I fucking mean it, Daryl. Fuck the Governor. We can get him another day if we need to. Just don't be stupid on this trip cause I can't go and make sure of that myself."

His eyes searched mine and he finally took my pleads to heart. His brow had drawn together as his eyes grew soft. I thought I would drown in them he looked at me so intently. Then he shook himself out of his stupor with one long blink.

"I promise. Okay? Happy now?"

I bit the inside of my cheek nervously. I would have to be happy enough. After all my time of worrying about the Governor being killed, it didn't seem as important right now. Currently, all that mattered was that everyone, not just Daryl, came back safe. I hadn't felt this panicked worry for people in a long time. And I didn't miss it.

"So," Daryl peeled his eyes from me to look at Rick and Michonne who had thankfully been too distracted to listen to our conversation. I couldn't have everyone knowing I gave a shit about them just yet.

"Just the three of us?" Rick and Michonne nodded to Daryl as he spoke, waiting for his protest or doubts to be verbalized. They weren't. He simply gripped his weapon tighter. "All right," he said with a confidence that no one who was going to fight an entire army with three people should've had.

I leaned my weight onto my uninjured leg and looked at him sling his leg over his motorcycle. It took everything in me to stand still and not hop in the truck with Michonne and Rick. I had never listened to Daryl when he told me what to do before, but if I wanted him to take what I had said seriously, I needed to do the same.

Waiting for them to come back took an excruciatingly long time. I sat inside while Maggie and Glenn watched the perimeter of the prison gates. Beth let me feed baby Judith, which I did awkwardly did. I hadn't held a baby since my little brother was born, but that was many many years ago, and even then it wasn't my thing to care for them well.

Carl was down in the dumps after Rick had given him a talking to about how he had shot a kid in the woods during the attack. I wasn't in the situation that Carl was in, so I had no room to judge the kid or tell him what I thought was right and wrong. Carl was a tough kid and if anything put his sister in danger he would eliminate it. Hershel seemed to think it was unnecessary to shoot the boy.

I didn't want to involve myself in any way, but I did my best to make Carl at least grin at how terribly out of place I looked with Judith. I rocked her around and she cooed and laughed loudly. Carl loved when his baby sister was happy, so he couldn't help but join in on the fun of making her giggle.

"They're back," Carol said, squinting out of the window. My heartbeat quickened uncontrollably. "Looks like hey brought company."

I stood with Judith on my hip and frowned out the window to see what the hell she meant by company.

I felt myself release the breath that I did not know I was holding when my eyes landed on Daryl riding at the front on his motorcycle with Michonne driving the truck up behind him. Rick, however, had acquired a new ride: a large school bus. The bus was bursting with new faces belonging to people of all ages and sizes.

I looked down at Carl who was fuming at the sight of the newcomers. "How could he bring these people here? We don't know them," he gritted out through his teeth.

"Where the hell did they come from? Woodbury?"

It just didn't make sense in my head that Rick would be stupid enough to take in all of these people, especially after he had been so cautious abut strangers before.

I put my hand on Carl's shoulder and pulled him to the door. "Let's go find out."

Carl followed close behind me with heavy steps, as did Beth and Carol. We held our guns, but didn't look willing to fire on them. Daryl met my questioning gaze but quickly looked away with an unreadable expression, as per fucking usual.

Finding that he wouldn't be giving me any explanation, I turned to Rick next, who was busy trying to make the strangers feel at home.

"What the hell is going on?" I whispered to him as he took Judith from my arms and gave her a big kiss.

"The Governor fired on his own people. All the soldiers he had are dead. These people wouldn't survive on their own after the sheltering they've had. We have to help this world grow."

I looked at them all with disgust. "What about the Governor? Did you find him?"

Rick set his jaw and shook his head, disappointed. "Nah, we couldn't find him. He's either dead somewhere or he ran off to find a new group to terrorize."

My stomach churned at the thought of him still out there able to do whatever he wants to whoever he wants. I blinked and shuddered at the thought.

"Help these people find a place to settle." He noticed my distrustful glances in their direction. "We took you in when you were a stranger," he reminded me with the slight upturn at the corners of his mouth. "Time you do the same."

I huffed as he walked away. How could he expect me to do that? I spent months building up an unfair hate for these people. I hated Woodbury, and thus them, by association. It was ridiculous, I know, but I couldn’t break that thought process just like that. It would take time convincing myself that these people were innocent in reality. They were useless weak people and they didn’t know any better about what the Governor was doing back in Woodbury. Plus, he probably killed or hurt some of their families too. They deserved to feel safe again and even if they were clueless about the real world now, we had to take them in under our wing.

So, I put on a my best fake smile as people that looked scared and wary got off of the bus. I could do this. Beth and I led everyone to their own cell rooms and did what we could to make them feel liked they belonged. I went through introducing myself a dozen fucking times. Eventually my face hurt from the constant smile plastered on it and my ears buzzed with voices of new residents as they spewed out names that I would never remember.

I had never wanted to leave this group more than right now. Living with so many people was something I was not used to. Living with anyone at all was not something I was used to. But I knew I couldn't possibly try to go out on my own with my leg still fucked and besides, I said I was leaving after the Governor was dead, and I had a sick feeling he was not.

***

Taglist:

@daryldixonandfrogs @jodiereedus22

29 notes · View notes

storytime-hoe · 5 years

Text

Tough Love Ch.7

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: This one was really difficult for me to write because I wanted it to be so fucking perfect. I wrote it and re-wrote it about a thousand times and I am so drained that I just can’t get it to a place that I am 100% happy with. But it isn’t too terrible so here it is folks. Enjoy!

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6

I had run for what felt like ages. My wild hair was pasted to my neck and bare arms with the sweat that dripped from me. Every heartbeat pounded in my ears along with the painful reminder that the Governor might be killing the Dixon's at any second now. I couldn't stop for a break, not when their lives could be at risk.

I had told myself, ever since my little brother died, that I would never care for people again in order to save myself the pain and possibility of loosing them. But, the Dixon boys were a different case. I didn't really care about them like I had my brother. They were just a couple of nincompoops who I was willing to help this one time. Daryl was someone important to the prison group and after the way they reacted when he ran off for a few hours, I knew none of them would function if he actually died. And that would mean the whole killing the Governor plan would be fucked.

Down the road I spotted a figure that I had mindlessly assumed to be another Walker limping it’s way to me. It was not until I was closer that I realized that it was no Walker but Michonne.

I slowed to a jog as I neared her, scanning her from head to toe. She looked a little rough around the edges, meaning she put up a fight with Merle no doubt. I had a sick thought that she might have killed him, she was fully capable. But would she?

"Where's Merle?"

She leaned her weight onto one leg, resting her hand on her hip. "He let me go. Said he had something to do."

I shook my head knowingly, looking passed her farther down the road. "He'll be at the Governor's outpost," I thought aloud. "Dumbass is going to get himself killed."

"Why do you care? Thought you only worried about yourself.”

That wasn’t exactly it, but I couldn’t let her know that. “I like to mix it up. Keeps people on their toes.”

I started up into a jog before she could say anything else to me. The outpost was where Rick was going to meet the Governor for the exchanging of Michonne. Merle would beat the Governor there probably. But what the hell was he planning? Why did he let Michonne go? The Governor would kill him on sight if he showed up with nothing to offer him, I was sure of it, and I knew he wasn't stupid enough to think any differently.

The sudden jar of loud music interrupted my thoughts. The music blared so loud that I pressed my hands to my ears out of instinct. I was positive every Walker in the area would be drawn to it something as loud as that. I ran from the road and towards the noise as well, even though every part in me was screaming for me not to.

I came to the opening that was the outpost and slowly crept up along the run down buildings where I spotted several men from Woodbury holding their guns up to examine the source of the God awful noise. A car with its radio on full blast was the cause, and I had no doubt that it was planted there by Merle. This was his plan. What the actual fuck was he thinking?

When a gun shot came from a nearby window, picking the Governor's men off one by one, I knew Merle was behind that too. That fucker was still here and I needed to get to him before the Governor did. Once I pinpointed where the shots were coming from it was easy enough to slip into the building where Merle was perched with his gun propped on top of his metal covered hand.

"Merle, what the hell are you doing?"

He didn't look away from his gun and the targets he was picking off. "You shouldn't be here," he hissed back.

Before I could tell him to come back with me or that we needed him back at the prison alive, two men entered behind me. One of them knocked away my knife that I had in my hand and grabbed my arms, twisting them in an unnatural position. I puled against his hold with a growl of frustration, but I froze in place when the second guy raised his gun to my head. His cold eyes told me he had every intention of shooting me dead right then and there, which I actually preferred if it meant the Governor wouldn’t be getting his hands on me. But Merle had apparently grown a pair of balls, deciding to do something for someone other than himself, and jumped in the way, knocking the gun up just as the shot went off. My heart hammered in my chest as pieces of ceiling rained down from where the bullet had split through it.

I didn't miss a beat after the blast went off to head-butt my captor so I could rip free from his grasp. His nose made a sickening crack against my skull, but I didn’t dwell on it. Instead I went to lunge after my knife, wanting to have something to give me a sense of protection. But just as my hand went to close around it, something solid hit me in the stomach and knocked me to the dusty ground of the shitty building.

"You leave him to me," the Governor hissed out the command to his man who was probably itching to put a bullet in Merle.

His voice sent shivers down my spine and every hair on my body bristled to stand on end, which distracted from the way my insides felt like they were exploding after the kick I had taken. I turned my head towards the door to see him lingering there with his gun in hand. His deadly look was set on Merle and every muscle in me seized with the images of how he might kill him.

I think that is what gave me enough courage to scramble off of the floor and put myself between him and Merle. I had to stand my ground against him, no matter how weak he made me feel. I could not show him that he still had effect on me and that no matter how far away from him I got, he would still always control me.

The Governor was not intimidated by me in the slightest, however. I was dumb to think that I could protect Merle from this monster. He didn’t hesitate to throw his arm towards me, using the end of his gun the slap me across the face. The momentum sent me flying across the floor. He stood over me, his gaze raking up and down my body.

I thought for sure he would command his men to toss me into their truck and haul my ass back off to jolly Woodbury. But he didn't say anything at all. He was an unrecognizable man. His eye was glazed over with a darkness that I hadn’t seen in him before. He aimed his gun at me with a steady hand. When he pulled the trigger I was sure I yelp, thinking the target was going to be my heart. However, he went with shooting me in the thigh as to insure I wouldn't stand up again and get in his way, but still making it so I was alive to watch him fuck up Merle.

My adrenaline was so high I almost didn’t even feel that much pain at first. I wasn't planning on letting the wound stop me from jumping between them again until I felt the cool tip of a gun press to my fevered temple by one of his men. I froze, not doubting that this guy would be happy to blow my brains out if I gave him the chance.

I gnawed on my lip uselessly, watching the Governor wrestle with Merle who was never one to go down without a good fight. The worry that ate me up distracted me from the blood oozing out fast from my leg. I gulped when Merle was overtaken for a moment, the Governor pressing him against a wall, guttural yells of effort coming from both of them. Merle was pushing against him to free himself and I suppose the Governor was taking pointers from Walkers now because he crunched down hard on Merle's fingers, biting them clean off. My stomach lurched at the sight of the fingers being spit onto the ground where I sat.

My throat closed up when the Governor threw Merle onto a busted up table. He sported a venomous look as he hovered above Merle with his gun pointed down at him.

"I ain't gonna beg," Merle yelled at him in a raspy voice. "I ain't beggin' you."

There was no mistaking the finality in his voice. Merle knew this was it. I felt it in the air and so did he, turning his head ever so slightly to catch my eye. He didn’t say anything, but I could heard all his single look told me a million different things. I saw how sorry he was for everything he has done. We both regretted so many things. We both had a lot to be sorry for when it came down to each other and the things we had said and done. We really were sorry too, no bullshit. Even though we never said it to each other, we knew.

An eerie darkness washed over the room. Death himself had entered the room.

The Governor simply ground out a, "No," and the bullet was fired through Merle’s heart.

I was half aware of the inhuman sound that released from my throat. I fell forward and watched Merle fall to the ground in a lifeless heap. My hands shook violently and hot tears rolled down my face before I realized I had even started to cry.

"Leave her," the Governor ordered without sparing me another look. "Merle will take care of her."

Bastard. He couldn’t even kill me himself. That was too easy for him. He wanted me to suffer watching Merle change. I wasn’t even thinking about the change though as the men all left the building and I became vaguely aware of their cars driving away. All I felt was an overwhelming force of such sadness that fell onto me like a wet blanket. I could hardly breath it was suffocating me so much. I thought after my brother died that I would never feel that again, never get attached to people. I tried to make it that way. I really fucking did. But it was fucking no use. I wanted to stop feeling this hurt, but who was I without the pain.

I sat in silence with the tears sticking my hair to the side of my face which was throbbing from where the Governor had bitch slapped me. My knife was clutched in my hand once more. I tried to bring myself to plunge it into Merle's head, but I couldn't. After all Merle had done to me: beat me, whip me, spit on me, curse at me, threaten me. Why couldn't I do it? Why couldn't I kill him before he turned? I sat beside him helplessly sobbing. Maybe because I really didn't hate Merle as much as I wanted to. He was a piece of worthless shit, but we had been through so much he sort of felt like family.

There it was again. The fucking family thing. And the fucking hurt that came along with it. A cute package deal. I thought my family was all gone from the world, or at least that is what I wanted. But who would have thought that the world's biggest douchebag would be the one to put my heart through a fucking blender.

The growls of the newborn Walker that was once Merle perked me up from my stupor. I used the bench and wall beside me to pull myself to my feet and hobble out of the door. The Walker followed after me, growling louder and louder with each step he took.

A new round of tears returned to my eyes and before I knew it Merle was snapping in my face with his foul teeth. I screamed and pushed him away, still not wanting to kill him. Eventually, my leg became too much to limp on and I collapsed to the ground with Merle ready to take advantage of the situation.

I held my knife up and mumbled, "Please," under my breath a million times. I didn't want to do this. I had wanted to kill Merle a thousand times before, but this was different. He died saving my life. He died while helping us all by killing all those men. Merle Dixon, believe it or not, died a hero.

I waited for Merle to reach out for me, to take a chunk out of my leg and rip my skin from the bones. It never happened though. A whir of white wings on a leather vest zipped by me, my guardian angel, pushing the Walker to the ground.

Daryl held his crossbow down at his side as he took in the sight of his brother. I saw the moment reality hit him as his shoulders slumped and he let his crossbow slip from his hand and clatter to the ground. There was no mistaking the tears that gushed from his eyes as well while Merle slowly got to his feet again and stumbled at Daryl with his hand outstretched to him. I thought Daryl might let the Walker bite into him at first, but then the rage swept over him like a curtain.

He took out his knife and pushed Merle down to pin him against the dirt. He let the knife soar above his head before he brought it down into the skull of the Walker. The form went limp but Daryl wasn't done yet. Over and over and over again he brought the knife in and out of Merle's skull. Blood splattered all over him and all over myself as he continually stabbed the body angrily. My heart broke at the sight of him. He was so utterly consumed by the hurt and was dealing with it like he dealt with most things: with an unnatural amount of rage.

I couldn’t watch him be like that any longer. My hands started shaking again as crawled over and reached out for Daryl, knowing good and well that there was a possibility this unstable man could turn on me with the knife next. Too bad he didn’t.

"It's over," I whimpered, swiping away my tears with the back of my hand. Then, more loudly, "Daryl! Stop it. It's over. Enough."

I pulled at his shoulders and he finally let me drag him off of the bloody mess that was once Merle. He laid back on the ground, propped up on his elbows. He didn't hold back his loud sobs, his shoulders shaking with an overwhelming amount of grief. Neither of us paid any attention to the other Walkers that were closing in on us. We needed a minute to process I think.

I sat on the ground behind Daryl with my leg getting worse by the second. He let me keep my arms wrapped around his chest, holding his back against me. He needed some sort of comfort right now, and I was all there was to give it. Even if he did hate me, someone had to get him through this. I lost a brother once too and God knows I could've used someone to hold to back then.

Within a minute though Daryl furiously wiped away at his face and grabbed his crossbow. He forced himself to his feet and away from me. When he looked back down at me he noticed my leg for the first time. I knew he would be angry about it because I came out here when he specifically told me not to, but he didn't say anything. If anything I thought he wavered with a look of guilt. Like this could have been was his fault it any way. Dumbass.

He reached his hand out to me wordlessly and pulled me to my feet. He laced my arm around his neck and took most of my weight off of my leg, holding me across the waist, leading me back into the trees.

Walking all the way back to the prison was not an option with the state that I was in. So, we stopped at the first little town we came upon where I was set down a little too roughly onto the ground. I hissed through my teeth, but Daryl didn't notice. He tossed things out of his way and kicked trash that littered his path like a tempered child. He reached his target finally, a car with a busted out window, and started to get to work at making it run again.

"He saved my life, you know," I said, not knowing if he was really listening to me or not, but I couldn't sit in silence. I needed to talk about it, and he needed to know about it. "The Governor was there," I explained what he probably already knew. "Merle took out a dozen men on his own. I came in and found him and just as someone was about to shoot me dead he stopped it from happening."

"Is that how he died?" Daryl's voice was a little hoarse from crying, which broke my heart just a little more.

"No. The Governor wanted him to himself. He shot me in the leg to stop me from helping Merle. Then he shot him like it was nothing." I shook my head still processing what happened. "He left me there to be killed once Merle turned. I nearly was." I looked up at Daryl and silently thanked him for showing up to save me.

He paused what he was doing under the hood of the car for a moment to hold my gaze. His squinted eyes were brimmed red from mourning for Merle. He chewed at his bottom lip. “Why did you even come?”

I shrugged, really not wanting to explain myself to him. “Sometimes I give a damn,” was all I offered him.

Daryl kept his eyes on mine for a long time. I could see the battle happening in his head, him deciding if he should say what he was thinking or not. I guess he decided to go with the “not” option as he came back over to lift me off of the ground. "C'mon," he mumbled and brought me to the passenger seat. His coarse hands slid up under my shirt unintentionally as he was helping me, causing me to suck in a breath. I reddened immediately and mentally kicked myself for doing it. How could I be so childish at a time like this?

Once he was in the driver seat and had the car started, I got up the courage to talk again. "I'm sorry I couldn't save him."

Daryl's swallow was audible. "Ain't nothin' ya coulda done."

I tried to blink back the fresh tears but it was no use. "That asshole was right, though. I couldn't save my brother and... I'm just sorry I couldn't save yours either. Death just follows me." I swallowed thickly at the haunting memories. “Some people are just born with tragedy in their blood”

Daryl looked at me and bit at the skin around his thumb, something I noticed was a nervous habit. "What happened to your brother?"

I could tell he was sorry he asked it almost as soon as he did. I was shocked he was even curious about my life. Usually he kept to himself. But he was hurting, and he knew I could relate to it. Anything to help him cope.

"I was with my brother through most of this shit." I swallowed hard at his memory, a momentary distraction for the pain in my leg. "Our mom was at work and we were home alone at the trailer park. We managed to get out of there when everything happened, but our mom didn't make it. She turned. And I was the one to put her down."

"M'sorry," he muttered quietly, speeding towards the prison to get me to Hershel as soon as he could.

I shook my head. "I'm not. A hoard came by when I was with my brother and he was ripped right out of my hands. I watched them tear his flesh apart. I tried to hold onto his hand... I looked into his eyes as his blood covered hand slipped right out of mine. I made sure my mom was peaceful in the end. But his death. His death was a fucking nightmare."

Daryl pursed his lips and shook his head. "That ain't your fault either."

It felt weird talking to someone about this stuff again. The only other person who knew these things about me was Merle and that all died with him.

"I tried to stay away from groups for a long time," I admitted quietly, my voice growing weaker from the blood loss. "I don't want to get close to anyone else when I know I'll just end up loosing them too." My mind must really be fucked up right now. I was only partially aware of what I was saying anymore and I can assure you I would not have told anyone that weakness of mine under normal circumstances.

He scoffed. "That's bullshit. Ya can't live without people no more. We all need people to survive now. It's how it is."

"I'm sticking around until the Governor is dead. Then I'm out." It was the only option Rick had given me anyway, but I still felt a pang of guilt at only being half honest with Daryl. I'll stick around until the Governor is dead... then I'm robbing you blind. That is what I really meant.

I could see the disappointment he wore on his face at my decision. He wasn't my friend, so I didn't quite understand why he even cared that I leave. I really fucking wish I could read his mind sometimes. I suppose our relationship was sort of like his and Merle's was. We had our fights and did our damage to each other, but at the end of the day, whether we liked it or not, we couldn't keep from being drawn to each other.

He bit his lip and focused on the road as he drove. His grip on the wheel tightened and he wanted to argue with me as usual, but he didn't. "Okay. It's not my place to stop you."

"Damn straight."

"But Merle refused to believe that he needed anyone and look where it got him."

I clenched my jaw and glowered out the window, praying that we were almost there. My leg was getting worse by the second and my vision was starting to darken around the edges. I swayed in my seat a little and felt Daryl put a hand on my shoulder to steady me.

By the time we got back to the prison we had both cried our tears for Merle Dixon and helped each other get over it because we both knew that was how it had to be. The world really sucked sometimes, but you had to keep going.

I was too weak to step out of the car, but Daryl effortlessly scooped me out of the seat and cradled me in his arms. I didn't like needing help, but I was not about to complain about being pressed against him like this.

"My hero," I teased, trying my very best not to show how much my leg was actually bothering me or how my the world was spinning around me now.

"Don't make me drop your ass on the pavement," he grumbled back as he placed me onto a bed in one of the cell rooms. People we gathered around me to look at what had happened and I soon lost sight of Daryl.

I was relieved to find Hershel's somber face in the mix of everything but when he said, "I'm going to have to get the bullet out," my heart dropped down to my toes.

"Can you do it?" Someone asked.

"I can try. She is going to need medicine. We don't have a lot to spare. If someone else gets sick or injured during this war, then we won't have anything to help."

Rick was leaned against the doorway with his arms crossed. Carl was peaking in from behind him with his brow furrowed. I think I could've guessed how he wanted this to go. "Give her what she needs," Rick said. "If we need more later we can figure it out then."

The rest of their conversation went passed me without being heard. I blacked in and out of consciousness. Sweat ran down the sides of my face, coating the pillow I laid on. When they started to touch the wound on my leg I can remember screaming bloody murder. Glenn said something about the Walkers in the courtyard stacking up against the fence in one place, being drawn to my screams.

"She has to stay quiet," Rick warned and left with Glenn and Carl to take care of the fence.

A pair of strong arms held me down across the bed. I could tell it was Daryl by the way his long hair dripped sweat onto my chest every now and again. I tried my best to stay focused on him and not the pain. I reigned in on how he felt pressing me down and how he smelled like sweat and cigarettes and how he still managed to look attractive even when he looked worried as hell.

I would have liked to take more time taking in every part of him, but I thanked God when I finally passed out from it all.

***

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@daryldixonandfrogs @jodiereedus22

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storytime-hoe · 5 years

Text

Tough Love Ch.6

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: This chapter was super fucking long so I split it into two because the chapter after this is important and I wanted it to be so so good so it needed to be split apart in order to make the impact that I wanted. So this one might be not so good but like it’s worth it at the end of the day if that makes any sense.

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5

The entire morning there was shouting about what the next move was. Hershel still wanted to run, but Rick didn't want to give up the prison. Then there was the inevitable argument about Merle and his loyalties. I stayed clear of the conversation this time. It was none of my concern who stayed or didn't stay, as long as the Governor was dead in the end. I would go out on a suicide trip by my damn self if it meant I might be able to kill the Governor.

However, deep down I knew that might not go how I plan for it to. After my last breakdown due to the Governor, I wasn't sure I could trust myself to do anything alone. We were dangerously low on ammo and weapons, so I wanted to go out and look for more on my own many times, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. What if I ran into the Governor or his men and my mind shut off again. I just couldn't do that to myself. And the only person who seemed to put me at ease last time was Daryl and he was still so mad at me that he didn't even acknowledge my presence anymore.

Soon enough the Governor's blonde bitch, Andrea, came strolling up to the prison gate. Her entrance was a bit awkward as she hugged the people she once lived and survived with. She asked about the dead ones–about Lori, Carl's dead mother. Most of all I think she was shocked to see how cold hearted people had turned towards her. Especially after what her boyfriend did to them all.

I listened to her spew out her bullshit about settling things. "I don't know what Philip has done, but we can work something out," she said and the worst part was was that she actually believed that.

It made me sick to here her talk like that. Like the Governor wasn’t full of shit. I struggled with keeping my mouth shut while she talked on and on and on. She was preaching some real fucking peace and love nonsense at us. Judging by the way she talked so highly of the Governor, I could tell he had her wrapped around his finger, just how he liked it.

It sucked. She didn’t come off as an awful person, as much as I wanted to hate her. She just got caught up with the wrong type of person was all. To think that that could’ve even have been me living up a happy life in Woodbury made me sick. No. It could never have been me. I’m too nosey to be so blinded by the shit that goes down behind scenes there. I only hoped that Andrea would wake up and see it all too.

"We're gonna kill him," Rick told her evenly and I let a harsh laugh escape at his dismissal of her proposition, resulting in a glare from Andrea. I was the only one here who she didn't recognize.

"And who are you exactly?" She asked me, resting her hands on her hips as she spoke.

I grinned and made a point of holding myself a little taller. She was not about to talk to me like I was some irrelevant piece of trash. I was already in a bad mood and people like Andrea make me worse. So I didn't hold back as I said, "I'm Philip’s side hoe when you weren’t doing the trick for him."

She did a double take. "Excuse me?" She looked me up and down like it was my fault that he would use me to his liking all the time.

In defense of Andrea, she didn't even know I was ever in Woodbury. It wasn’t her fault that I was there ad it wasn’t her fault that the Governor was such a clever snake that he could keep so many evil things hidden from her. He had a charm to him, that was for sure, and she had just fallen for it.

In all honesty, I just wanted to piss her off right now. My only solution to do that was to dump all the shitty truths about the Governor onto her at once.

"He had a jolly ole time feeling up Maggie too," I said jabbing my thumb towards Maggie to point her out.

Andrea looked over at Maggie, waiting for her to deny it with her mouth agape. But poor Maggie looked mighty uncomfortable with the subject and I immediately regretted being the cause of that. She put her head down, letting her silence be answer enough for us all.

"Still think we can work something out?" I felt pleased with myself that I had made my point while also getting under her skin. I did worse and worse about bringing Maggie into the situation in order to do so, but the appearance I wanted to keep with them all depended on my selfish moments like this.

Andrea didn't like my logic and apparently didn't have an answer for me because she turned away from me and back to Rick. She went on and on about how the Governor would take us out if we didn't try to negotiate. It was true he had the manpower for it, but this bunch of people were a lot smarter and tougher than the Governor was giving them credit for.

I wasn’t the only one getting sick of hearing Andrea praise her man too, and I couldn’t help the sly grin that crept its way onto my face when Daryl so charmingly informed her that he would take the Governor's other eye if he got the chance.

Andrea was hardheaded, I’ll give her that. She hung around for most of the afternoon discussing things with Rick. They showed her to Judith one last time before we sent her on her way with one of the cars, much to my dismay.

The next few days came and went slowly with me still being a fucking coward about leaving on my own. I did, however, feel myself gaining physical strength back slowly but surly. My muscles were returning back to their full potential and my bruised sides and ribs only hurt mildly. They certainly did not look pretty at all, turning a nasty yellowish color. But I was being put back together after my grand escape from confinement.

I felt like a completely different person now, though. I was rarely friendly anymore, not that I was too friendly to begin with, but now I was hard and always so untrusting of the others; I was almost cruel at times. I had been sculpted into the hero that I needed to be for myself and that made me put up so many walls around me for protection. I had one motivation for life now and that was to kill the Governor. I suppose any person fueled by hate would be a little cruel.

But being cruel was different from being a nosy uppity bitch.

Daryl still hadn’t forgiven me for invading his privacy before, and I needed to fix that. Don’t read too into it, I could give two shits about what he thought of me. I just needed to be on good terms with him so we could handle this Governor issue with some ease. Trust was going to be needed, whether I liked that or not, and the only way to gain his trust back was to get off my high horse and go admit I was in the wrong.

So, I pulled my head out of my ass and found him that morning coming back through the gates with two dead rabbits in his hand.

When he noticed me standing there waiting for him, he gave me a quick scowl and continued to walk past me like I wasn’t there. He was going to make this much more difficult than I wanted it to be.

“Daryl. Come on wait up.” I tried to get him to stop, but it was like I was a ghost to him.

I was going to reach out to him to stop him, but after seeing the way he distanced himself from people the way he did, I thought better of it. He obviously wasn’t the “hug it out” type of person by any means. Knowing about his scars and how they got there help me make sense of that too. He probably grew up avoiding any kind of physical touch after years of abuse from his dad. It truly jerked on my heart stings to imagine him as a child, so afraid of someone that was supposed to look after him with his life. It was a bunch of bullshit is what it was. And I had thrown it upon him to tell me about it like some insensitive bitch. That was some bullshit too.

He stopped at a table outside to get the rabbit ready for eating later that night, otherwise I don’t think he would have stopped to listen to me. I really needed to get this over with.

"I'm sorry," I started hopefully. He went on with his task, not acknowledging me in the slightest. "I should have kept walking when I saw you the other day. I wasn’t thinking straight that night.” Which was true. I had been so distracted by the fact that he was a shirtless man, nothing to do with his scars. “I acted like I had you all figured out from what Merle had told me and I shouldn’t have done that either. I'm sorry for not minding my own business."

His eyes flicked to mine through the pieces of hair that hung in his way while he was working. He gave a small grunt, waiting for me to continue on.

"And, I'm sorry for being a prick about what Merle did to me.” I fought against the urge the place my hand on my back to feel at the scars covering them. Merle did that to put himself in the Governor’s favor. He was weak like that, but Daryl wasn’t. “I know you aren’t Merle or your dad or whoever else. You would never hurt any of them in there. Hell, they look at you like you’re the fucking queen."

He had halted at his work to listen to me. At least that was a sign he was really hearing me. But he was still silent, unconvinced.

"And I am sorry for being a raging bitch?" I added as a last attempt to give him the apology he wanted to hear.

He nodded cockily, not meeting my eyes. "That's more like it."

I shook my head and felt relief wash over me as I couldn’t hold back my grin. "Screw you, Dixon," I teased lightly, feeling comfortable now that the air between us most clear for the most part.

I caught sight of his mouth turning up at the corners slightly as I walked away. His smile, no matter how small, gave me a sense of accomplishment. Daryl was not a people person. I had accomplished what I wanted: laying down a foundation for trust. I didn’t care if he talked to me about anything at all, but when it came down to the war with the Governor, I wanted people who I could trust by my side. If he didn’t want to spend time with me then I was okay with that, as long as he had my back when it mattered most.

Daryl, along with Rick, were the top two that I needed on my side. They were important assets to the group and if they weren’t on board with me no one would be. The others would simply follow their lead in a matter of time.

The following day was slow. Andrea had set up a place for Rick to meet with the Governor, though Rick let me know that he had no hopes for it going in the direction of a peace treaty. When Rick, Daryl, and Hershel rode back from their talk with the Governor that day, I could tell by the look in Rick's eyes that he was right and that this war was still on. It wasn't until later that I overheard that the Governor had given us a way out. He wanted Michonne. I was surprised the deal wasn't for me too. I guess he expected me to go in there with Rick to make the exchange of Michonne and he could take me then. I just knew he would kill us all if we went out there. He was just waiting to get us all together away from home where he could slaughter us.

Outside of the prison the sun beat down on me. It was so strong that I had to squint my eyes to adjust to the brightness. I took a deep breath, enjoying the fresh air that I was deprived of for so long in Woodbury. Then I noticed Rick and Daryl talking urgently about something and my stomach twisted in nots.

Suddenly, the two men started at me in a hurried pace. "Have you seen Merle around?" Rick asked while trying his best not to sound too worried, but I saw through him like a glass window.

"No, it's been a while since I had the pleasure."

Daryl looked up at me warningly through his eyelashes and shaggy hair. Without offering any information about their concerns, they started back into the prison.

"He said something about going down to look for drugs in the tombs," I heard Daryl tell Rick.

I was at their heals in a moment, too curious to stay out of their business. "What's going on?" I could tell they were flustered and in a panic by now as we went down deeper into the prison complex.

"Stay out of it," Daryl growled, not bothering to hide his bitter tone that he saved up just for me these days. But he knew better than to tell me that, I couldn't stay out of anything.

"Michonne is gone too," Rick mumbled to himself once we were in the room where Daryl said he last talked to Merle.

The two of them were looking around the room for a sign of the two until Daryl spotted some old bags and zip-ties behind a counter. "He took her," he called out to Rick and we both came rushing over.

"Thought you were gonna turn Michonne in anyway," I said from behind them. The two turned to look at me. Their stupid shocked expressions almost made me snicker.

"How'd you know that?" Rick asked with his head tilted to look at me.

I shrugged innocently. There wasn't a lot I didn't know about a place, especially if I was actually a resident and not just an outsider looking to loot. They should've known by now I liked to stay informed one way or another. "Why would Merle run off with her? Thought you were all going down to make an exchange with the Governor?"

"I can't." Rick sounded torn still. "Can’t trust the Governor not to fire on us. Besides, she’s been proving useful."

"She's helped us," I agreed. "We couldn't have handed her over."

"I'm going after them," Rick said, already heading back the way we had come in.

"You can't track for shit," Daryl cut him off. He hoisted his crossbow up on his shoulder to rest and nodded at me and Rick. "I'll go find Merle and bring them both back."

"I'm going too," I said and squared my shoulders to Daryl, ready for him to fight me on the matter.

"Hell no."

"You shouldn't go alone," Rick said while rubbing a hand down his face, his exhaustion evident.

"You all need to be here to get ready. Get yer family ready too," he nodded towards Rick again.

Finally he looked at me, I mean really looked at me, for the first time since the night I had disrupted him and seen his scarred up back. It wasn't a hard, resenting stare or a threatening glare, but a soft plead, silently urging me to listen to him. He knew my complicated relationship with Merle and I'm sure he understood that Merle talked with me through some shitty times, which meant a lot to a person who had nothing. I wanted him back here and unharmed as much as Daryl did. I couldn't let Merle do anything stupid, and we both knew he was a master at doing stupid things. But I melted looking into Daryl's meaningful deep blue eyes. I had to listen to him. Or at least I was going to make him think I would stay put as I slowly nodded to him.

With a final nod and a slight grin that I might have imagined, Daryl turned and rushed out the door to track down Merle. I watched him go until he disappeared around the corner. The angel wings on the leather vest that he wore were the last thing I saw of him before I went with Rick back to the others.

I sat against one of the fences, fiddling with the loose strings on my torn pants. I told Daryl I would stay and get ready for the Governor to come back, but I needed to get out there. I wanted to help him and for some odd reason I had a bad feeling in the pit of my chest that something was not going to go well. I felt the urge to go and... protect Daryl? It sounded crazy to even think it. Daryl was a survivor through and through. Even before the dead started walking again, he had survived on his own with a shit brother who left him all the time. I could remember Merle telling me how strong he thought his little brother was, but he never let him know that. He would call Daryl names and push him in the dirt and spit on him to make him think he was less than he really was. That was Merle's way of helping him grow into the person he needed to be; he needed to become someone who never needed anyone but himself. And somehow Merle had played a part in making me into that person too.

The sound of someone approaching me interrupted my thoughts. I turned and squinted upward to see who it was. Glenn sat down next to me with his arms resting on his knees.

"Can I help you?" I asked more rudely than intended.

"Daryl asked me if Merle had apologized for what he did to me and Maggie." I was silent, unsure of what to say. This guy seemed to be saying stuff that he just needed to get off of his chest and he didn't have someone to unload it onto. But why would he choose me of all people to dump his thoughts onto? "He said that Merle was sorry. Said he would make it right."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"You know Merle," he said with a grieving kind of force that made me look at him. His face was still yet a little swollen from what Merle had done to him for the Governor. "You talked with Merle all the time. You know the things he has done and he trusted you with personal stuff about himself."

I swallowed hard, trying not to think too much about it all. "So? What's your point?"

"My point is that you know him better than anyone here, except for Daryl. So I wanna know if you think Merle really is sorry. Do you think he can even feel a little sorry for what he let happen to Maggie?" Then as an after thought he quickly added, "Or to you?"

I sighed and looked down at my dirt covered hands, not wanting to look at him for fear that I might not be able to hold back any emotion. "Merle is a selfish guy. I know that he has killed innocent people just because the Governor told him todo it. He has done some messed up things." Glenn put his head down and nodded. I was confirming the thoughts he was wishing were not true. "But I don't think Merle can be heartless enough to not feel anything." I paused for a long time, thinking back to when he first found me. He was reluctant to bring me to Woodbury and I thought it was because I was a stranger back then, but it turns out he was afraid of what the Governor would do to a girl like me or what he himself would be ordered to do. The memory of the Governor against me still haunts me and I know it haunts Merle too that he let it happen. "Merle does whatever he needs to stay alive. He might be too big of a coward to stop bad things from happening like with Maggie, but he definitely feels that guilt for a long time."

"I can't forgive him for what happened to Maggie. But, I want to think he can be a decent person, to think he could even help us."

I pursed my lips and nodded. "We all do. It gets us in a load of shit sometimes to have hope for Merle."

My heart dropped at the sentence that I spoke. The bad feeling in me returned instantly. Daryl was out there right now getting into a load of shit because of Merle. And I was letting it happen.

My adrenaline started pumping and I jumped to my feet. I really needed to go after them. Fuck whatever I told Daryl, I was not sitting on the sidelines on this one.

"Where are you going?" Glenn called after me.

I shook my head at him as I took rushed steps backwards toward the gate. "Don't worry about it." I was too sidetracked to bother with Glenn anymore or explain myself to him.

I just prayed I would be fast enough to help the Dixon's if they needed me.

***

Taglist:

@daryldixonandfrogs @jodiereedus22

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storytime-hoe · 5 years

Text

Tough Love Ch.5

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape, panic attack stuff also

Authors Note: Hey I don’t feel too great about this chapter either so sorry if it’s shit. Thanks for reading anyways and if anyone has any suggestions for what they would like to see along the story please hmu and I might be able to work some stuff in here and there.

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4

I was taking in the fresh air with Carl still by my side when I started getting a bad feeling.

I felt the presence of Carol and Beth coming up behind us. I was stuck watching Hershel talk with the crazed Rick. I prayed that he could get Rick's head on straight enough to come help plan how to deal with the Governor.

That's when I really felt the change in the wind. My stomach turned in circles, a feeling I couldn't shake. I took a step closer to the fence and put my hand on it as I squinted to see into the trees.

I tried to get the warning out, but it was too late. I saw the Governor in the trees and his gun went off before my voice had a chance to reach the others. I grabbed the shirt of Carl to pull him back with me. His hands went to where I gripped his shirt and he started to try and free himself, not realizing what was going on yet. I held tight and yanked his small frame around the corner of the wall just as gunfire exploded out from everywhere around us.

"Shit," Carl muttered just as Beth rushed inside of the prison for weapons hopefully.

Carl took out his gun and fired in the direction of the Governor's men. I sat back helplessly watching Michonne and Carol spray the trees with their own gunfire. I searched for Hershel who was still out in the open, separated from everyone by the fences. He would die, I thought for sure. He had a gun to defend himself if he could, but without two legs to run away on, he was a goner. There goes our only doctor.

Rick was still outside the fence where the Governor's men were, and I had no doubt in my mind they would take him out easily too. And there would go the leader of our gang. To say we were fucked would have been an understatement.

"Emma!" Maggie shouted from across the way with Beth behind her. They had two rifles each and one of them was slid across the ground to me.

In normal circumstances I could have taken that gun and fired away like everyone else. But the Governor's presence had my head a scrambled mess. My heart pounded in my chest so fast I thought it might explode. My hands were shaking uncontrollably and I felt like I was back in Woodbury, trapped within the rotting walls. My throat felt swollen when I tried to swallow, making it harder and harder to breath.

It was like my entire body was shutting down and I didn't understand. Seeing the Governor, even if he was separated from me by a yard and two fences, I still pictured him inches from me and pulling me into his truck to take me back to Woodbury. Just the possibility that it might happen had me rendered useless.

"What are you doing?" Carl shouted at me, taking a second to glance at my trembling figure pressed up against the cement wall. "Help us! Get the gun!"

I could hear what he was saying, but it was not reregistering. The only thing I was thinking of was how there was no way we were winning this battle and I would be back with the Governor by the next hour. I couldn't believe how foolish I was to even think that we could have beaten him in the first place.

Just when I didn't think it could get any worse, a van came speeding straight towards the prison and busted down the first gate. It stopped in the middle of the yard where Hershel had been alone. The doors opened up and Walkers were soon stumbling out into the yard one after the next. If Hershel wasn't already dead out there, he would be soon.

My vision crossed at the sight of the multiple Walkers moaning for the want of living flesh. What the fuck was wrong with me? A day ago I stared down the Governor and had no problem with storming up to kill him, but now it was like just the thought of him had me too weak to function.

My whirring mind was about to overload when I blinked away some of the panic and saw that the Governor got back into his truck and was speeding away from the scene, letting the Walkers finish us off.

I managed to swallow down the thick lump in my throat and force myself away from the wall. I scooped up the rifle and surveyed the courtyard, noticing how the noise of our gunfire had drawn in more Walkers to the outer fence.

The group was running out into the courtyard, Michonne at the lead. It took me a beat to see that they were going out to save Hershel, who was miraculously unharmed.

I didn't think twice as I start following everyone out towards the Walkers invading our courtyard. We all fired at the Walkers or used a knife to put them down if they were in reach. I felt the adrenaline, the feeling of life and power, filling my veins. But I still wasn't my usual self, checking the road every second to see if the Governor was coming back. That constant fear ate away at my mind, making me not as sharp as I would have liked to be in a death match with unfeeling creatures.

When a car did fly down the road towards us, my body seized up again. It took more time than I would have like for me to reassure myself that it was only Glenn returning from his poorly timed supply run. But, thank God he came back when he did because he was able to reach Hershel much faster than we were. Glenn pulled up next to him and had Hershel back to safety in no time.

The others were making their way back to the prison as well. But I stood still, mesmerized by the clanking of teeth as I made one Walker head splatter after the next. I was clearing out a path back to the prison as well when I heard the grunts of someone struggling.

I turned back towards the outer fence and I took off running before I really saw him. Rick was overwhelmed by five Walkers with more being attracted to him by the second. They held him against the fence and he was doing his best to push them back. My legs were carrying me as fast as they could to save him, but I wouldn't make it. I wanted to shoot at them, but I didn't trust myself to not accidentally hit Rick.

My hope was dwindling away with every pounding step. A Walker was centimeters from his face and there was nothing I could do. I felt a scream rising in my throat, my frustration getting the best of me. I almost just shut my eyes to look away from what was bound to be a gruesome death until an arrow shot from the trees and put down the Walker that was on him. Rick was just as confused as I was until we both spotted the Dixon brothers at the same time.

All the doubts I had about Rick or Hershel or the entire group's capabilities were washed away at the sight of Daryl Dixon. I knew that we would be okay. I knew the Governor wasn't getting me back, at least not today. Even though I didn't see eye to eye with Daryl, just his presence kept me grounded; he kept me sane. The glue that held everything together was back, and he was here to clean up the God damn mess that was made while he was gone.

I rushed to the fence, feeling entirely myself one again, and used my knife to kill the Walkers that weren't being taken care of by Rick, Daryl, or Merle. I felt my built up rage be released into every stab I took through the fence. My body worked wildly with no more fear holding me back.

Once the Walkers surrounding them were dead, Daryl stood back, his eyes flicking up to Rick. There was going to be more arguing about Merle inside, I knew that much, but there was a silent agreement and pact that was made between Rick and Daryl. I looked between the two of them before Daryl finally met my eyes. He stared, frustratingly unreadable. I didn't dare let myself look at Merle before I spun around and started swinging my blade at the Walkers coming at me from my side of the fence.

The boys quickly ran around to meet me on the inside, helping one another out so no one would become overwhelmed. Rick had a look of revenge in his eyes that made me grin. It was about damn time everyone got fired up about the Governor, we needed to take killing him seriously. We had our backs to each other, moving as one to take out any Walkers. I felt calm with Rick and Daryl flanking me, they gave me a sense of protection that I don't think I had since the world went to shit. It was strange how connected to them I felt, almost like a family looking out for one another.

Back inside I shook away the idea that these people gave a fuck about me other than because I could help them with the Governor problem. I needed to chill with that damn family thinking. I couldn't let myself get attached, I couldn't.

I sat by myself while Hershel cleaned everyone up. He stitched and cleaned fresh wounds or re-opened ones. Almost nobody talked, not even about the fact that Merle was there now. We were too exhausted I think to try and start up that screaming battle again. Tomorrow we could all be mad that Merle was here or that the Governor attacked. Tomorrow we could plan more destruction, but for now we needed healing both physically and mentally.

One by one people disappeared into their own rooms. I was locked away separate from their cells with Merle and Michonne. Rick said he couldn't trust us yet and we needed to stay separate from everyone else when they slept. I understood the reasoning, but I wasn't happy about sleeping in the same room as Merle.

Michonne had taken to a corner and while I would much rather speak to her that to Merle, she didn't look like she wanted to be bothered. So, I huffed out a breath and looked to Merle who was leaned up against a wall, inspecting the metal that covered where his right hand used to be.

"You came back," I said, my voice sounding much louder than I wanted it to sound in the silent prison. I wasn't being rude to him or trying to start something. If I had learned anything about Merle from the time I've spent with him, it was that he was just as hot headed as I was and that he often said things that he didn't mean in the heat of the moment. That's why I didn't hold our argument prior to his departure against him and I would be using this conversation to hopefully make amends.

I think Merle and I were a little too similar sometimes. We both had shit lives and basically raised our younger siblings on our own. We both were too stubborn for our own good. And we both sure as hell didn't know when to keep our mouths shut.I think that is why we always got too personal from time to time like when he brought up my deceased sibling before. We knew where to hit the other where it would hurt; our weaknesses were our little brothers.

"Why did you come back?" I kept my voice light, showing him that I just genuinely wanted to know the answer and that I wasn't going to nag at him about anything.

He spared a second to look up at me. "We knew you dickheads would need us. Even if you can't admit that."

I stared down at my hands, not believing that was the reason, but also not denying it. "Well, I guess you're right." I stood up and slid a cigarette out from the package that lay beside of him, glad he let me take one. "If you and Daryl hadn't come back, Rick might be dead."

Merle silently held out a lighter to light my cigarette for me. It was probably the most kind thing he'd done for me besides sit and talk with me during the lonely nights of captive life. It was also as much of an apology that I would ever get from Merle and I took it as a sign that we were on good terms again.

"So I guess we do need you guys," I squeaked out before taking a long drawl on the cigarette and making my way to the door leading outside. I left Merle speechless I guess because he didn't say anything as I left to finish my smoke.

I didn't want to smoke inside since there was a baby indoors. I stood out and looked up at the bright moon. The growls of the Walkers that were still in the courtyard kept the moment form being peaceful and enjoyable. I huffed on my cigarette and slowly strode around the area, not thinking anyone else would be out this late.

Boy was I wrong. I turned the corner to where the barrels of clean water were, the place where I had cleaned myself upon my arrival. Now standing there was Daryl. His back was facing me and he hadn't noticed I stumbled upon him yet. I wanted to turn away and leave him be, give him the privacy that he came out here to have. I really did. But I was glued in place.

His shirt lay on the ground next to him and my eyes watched every muscle in his back and arms moving. The moonlight bounced off of him in such a way that just illuminated his muscles even more. It took me a minute to notice the scars that were on his back and shoulders, obviously from a beating. I recognize them to match the ones Merle had given me during my first week at Woodbury. Merle was crueler back before he took the time to chat and get to know me, so that was another thing on the list that I had forgiven him for.

At first I wondered if Merle had given the scars to Daryl too, but any thoughts about Merle and scars were long gone when Daryl raised an arm up to stretch it out, the muscles flexing as he did so. My knees weakened at the sight of his bare skin. I swallowed hard and tried to look away again, but it was no use.

I really knew it was too late when he turned around on his heel, spotting me looking on like a creep. The fire in his eyes told me I was in for it.

"The hell ya think yer doing'?"

I shook my head and tried to keep my eyes on his face and not his bare chest as he stalked towards me. "Sorry, I was just–"

"Yeah? Just what? Snoopin' around in my business?"

I furrowed my brow and crossed my arms. My mind switched into defensive mode and my anger began to spark. "I was just taking a walk, asshole. I don't give a fuck about what you do."

He wasn't buying it. "Ya sure did stand there long enough."

There was no explaining that without sounding like a total idiot, which I was not about to have at the moment. So, I asked the only question that would steer the conversation away from the fact that I was stupidly admiring him. "Did Merle do that to you?"

His eyes shot up to mine as he shoved his arms through a sleeveless button up shirt to cover up his scars. He might have been a sheet of hot anger, but I saw the embarrassment and insecurity that he was trying to cover up. He did a damn good job at covering it up too; I thought he might hit me he looked so mad. "You don't know nothin' 'bout us! Stop actin' like you do just cause Merle told ya a few stories! He didn't scar me up. He would never h–"

His rant was cut off at the sight of me turning around and pulling up the back of my shirt. I could feel his eyes running along every scar that crisscrossed down my back. I let him stand in silence and take it all in for a long time before I dropped the tank top back down over my skin and turned to face him. I knew he wouldn't listen to me try and explain that Merle would, in fact, do something like that, so I had to show him instead. It did the trick of shutting up his tempered ass.

His eyes dropped to the ground and I could tell he was still fuming, but for a different reason now. "Merle do that?" He asked dangerously quiet. In his heart he knew the answer before he even asked the question. It was just hard believing his brother was still fucking up other peoples lives on a daily basis.

I shrugged it off, taking another drawl on the cigarette to distract myself from the reality of it. I didn't mind that I might look less attractive with all of the scars I had, I just felt ashamed that I wasn't strong enough to prevent something like this from happening.

"It was before he knew me. He was doing his job." I tried my best to take some of the blame off of Merle. I didn't want Daryl to be mad about it. This entire conversation only came about because I was gawking at him, not because I wanted to know or even cared about his scars nor mine.

Daryl shook his head. "Doesn't make it right."

"Doesn't matter," I said quickly. "Nothing that can be done about it."

Daryl knew I was one tough bitch. There was no denying it after what I'd gone through, but he still looked like he was pitying me. I was starting to despise the way he did that. I was not some God damn damsel in distress. To get the attention completely off of me this time, I decided to dig deeper about where his scars came from, which I had to keep reminding myself that I didn't care about. Well... maybe I was a little curious. But still, I told him about mine, it was only fair he return the action.

"If it wasn't Merle, then who?"

Daryl was confused at first, his thoughts on Merle beating the shit out of you because some asshat wanted him to. When he realized you were talking about his own experiences he shook his head. "Piece of shit dad," he confirmed casually and gnawed at the skin around his thumb. "He did it to Merle first. Then me. Merle took a lot for me though. Guess he didn't tell ya that story huh?"

Merle talked a little about how his dad drank a lot, but he never mentioned him being abusive. Suddenly I understood why Merle would be the way he is. Without thinking I muttered, "Like father like son."

Daryl glared at me, his eyes a deep pool of hurt and anger and I realized that what I had said would include him too and not just Merle. "That what ya think of me? Ya think I'll beat ya? Or any of them in there?" He motioned to inside the prison where everyone was sleeping. His voice grew louder as he went on, his boiling anger returning in an instant.

"No! I didn't mean that. I know you wouldn't–"

"Nah," he cut me off curtly. "For the last time, ya don't know me. So stop pretending ya do."

He shouldered by me harder than was necessary, leaving me alone with my smoke still in hand. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose once he was gone.

Why did the Dixon boys have to be so fucking sensitive?

***

Tags:

@daryldixonandfrogs

29 notes · View notes

storytime-hoe · 5 years

Text

Tough Love Ch.4

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: Gonna be honest and let you know Daryl isn’t really in this one and I really needed to establish some things with other characters and stuff. But like this chapter might disappoint a lot so I will post the next one tomorrow and not keep you waiting for something good. Thanks for understanding xoxo

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3

I swear when I arrived at the prison I instantly cursed myself for spending so much time on Woodbury when I should've been focusing on this place. Sure, the prison was harder to get in and out of, but I could have managed it. I spent a month planning out how to sneak into Woodbury to steal their things, when the prison was a gold mine for me. They didn't have the man power that the Governor had, but their food supply was much more diverse. When Maggie brought me inside, I couldn't believe what this group had managed to scavenge. They didn't have very many people, but the few that they did have were no pussies. They were a damn tough bunch, that was for sure.

And they were currently all tense as hell. Daryl running off with his brother had a negative effect on everyone that knew him. I could feel the collective hate for Merle that bounced around the concrete walls because he had stolen away someone that everyone looked up to. It was a little strange for me to see how upset people were. I wondered if Daryl even knew how much these people loved him. And if he did know how could he just leave them all behind?

I felt uncomfortable joining in on the group. I didn't know their names well yet. There was no formal introductions these days, but I was picking up on them slowly. Carol, with her short grey hair, seemed the most bothered about Daryl. She put a bony hand up to her mouth and sucked in a breath when Rick told her. I felt numb watching her feel emotion for someone. I hadn't had that pleasure since my brother. He was the last person I ever really cared about. The thought of befriending anyone else made me ache. The more people you love, the higher the risks of getting hurt. And I was not getting hurt again.

That's why I started to mentally plan my departure. My mind went to picking out which items I would take with me when I left, that was, after I killed the Governor. Once he was dead I would be taking all I could carry and going on my way. I had no current desire to spend more time here than necessary. I wasn't sure where I would go next, and frankly I wasn't worried about it. I would figure it out along the way.

"Maggie might have some clothes that will fit you," said a sweet voice from behind me.

I turned around to see a young girl with blonde wavy hair. In her arms she held a chunky little baby. I was shocked at the sight of it. I stared at it in half disbelief. The child crooned and held my gaze for the longest time. It looked calm, like it had no worries in the world. I envied that.

"Um," the girl shifted the baby on her hip, "I'm Beth, and this is Judith."

I blinked myself free of my stare and looked at her vacantly. "The mother?"

Her quick glance to the ground told me the answer to my question, but it was a little boy who stalked by and answered me aloud.

"She's dead," he said plainly, not bothering to stop to look at me.

I could tell instantly he was not a fan of me. I was a stranger, it made sense that he was cautious.

Once the boy was out of earshot, Beth spoke again. "That's Carl. His mother died having the baby."

Asking the question was stupid and rude of me in the first place, but my people skills were a little rusty. I should have kept my mouth shut, then maybe the kid-Carl- would not have ended up scowling at me from across the room every two seconds. I had accidentally created an enemy out of the poor kid. But, if he needed a person to hate after the tragic events of his mother's death, then I didn't mind to be that person. I didn't care what anyone here thought of me in the end.

"We have a water trough out back," Maggie said, saving me from the depressing conversation with Beth. "I can show you to it, let you get cleaned up," she said with an attempted grin.

"Afterwards I'll take a look at you. I can already tell you'll need a few stitches on your brow." I turned again to look at the old man who had spoken from his bench beside Michonne. He had introduced himself as Hershel. He was obviously the doctor that Rick had mention, judging by how he was cleaning out Michonne's wound on her leg.

"Thank you," I muttered to them. Hearing the words coming from my lips sounded weird. I hadn't been verbally grateful to anyone in what felt like a lifetime. It was strange having people look out for me again. I almost didn't know how to react to all of this. I was anxious and out of place here, another reason I was eager to kill the Governor and leave as soon as possible.

Maggie took me outside and around the corner where they had a supply of clean water stored in round barrels and low troughs. She left me with a rag to wipe off with and neatly folded jeans and a loose white tank top. I looked down at the worn out clothes that I had lived in for more than I would have liked. It was about time I peeled these from my skin.

I was left by myself outside of the prison. I groaned as I lifted my shirt over my head with much effort, every muscle screaming for me to stop. Looking at my stomach I saw the black and blue decorating my skin that was left over from both Merle's torture sessions and my last encounter with the Governor.

I dipped the cloth in the water and wiped off the dirt layer that rested on my sensitive skin, doing my best to decipher grime from bruise. It took me forever to clean up the mess that I had become, dabbing at the crusted blood that coated my face. I spent a solid twenty minutes just untangling my hair and re-braiding the wet hair down my back.

I took my sweet time cleaning myself up, basking in the comfort of the soft rag against my skin. All the while my mind was wandering off to things I was trying so hard to forget. I don't know why I cared, but I couldn't help but question how Daryl was doing out there with Merle. I barely knew the guy. The only time we spoke was when we were angry and had to speak; it was never under good circumstances. Still, I thought about how he was handling Merle and for some odd reason I felt the urge to need to protect him from Merle, as if he hadn't lived with the man for his entire life.

I shook away my thoughts and stared down at the small barrel of water I had used and turned a dark brown color from rinsing off. I didn't even recognize myself in the reflection of the dirtied water. The bags under my eyes had darkened ten times since the last time I checked and my cheeks looked sunken in a bit. I guess I hadn't got the sleep or nourishment I needed in Woodbury. I looked worn out, like I had been through hell and back, and I certainly felt that way too. Every breath hurt my insides.

I tossed my old clothes away, leaving them behind as the last part of Woodbury. Walking back into the prison, I made my way to Hershel, who was finishing up looking over Michonne's injuries.

"I was hoping you wouldn't be as roughed up as her," he addressed me as I slowly entered. "But by the looks of it you might be making my job more difficult."

His kind smile reached his eyes. The welcoming vibe about him gave me the courage to approach and sit down on the bench next to him. He immediately began with the gash on my eyebrow. It took several stitches to close it up. He put ointment on anything else that I had on my body, but it was my ribs that I was dreading he look at. I lifted up my shirt for him and when his brow drew in in concern I knew it was bad news.

He pressed around on it and I sucked in a breath between my teeth. I didn't even notice that Michonne was staring at my bruised torso until afterwards.

"I don't think any of the ribs are broken too bad," Hershel started as he was getting a wrap ready to put around my mid section. "A few may be fractured. It'll just take time to heal them."

I stood to let him warp the cloth tightly around me, keeping everything inside of me in the right place. While he was still working on me, Glenn had gathered Michonne, Maggie, Beth, Carol, and Carl around so he could discuss going after the Governor. He thought we should attack the Governor before he had the chance to come at us. I noted how he mentioned that the whole front of the prison was not secure. I soaked in all they said about the place for after my job with them was done and I would be sneaking out on my own. They gave me everything I needed to know, all their weaknesses.

"How do we know the Governor is going to attack? We coulda scared him off," Maggie said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Michonne rolled her eyes. "He had fish tanks with heads." My head jerked up to look at her as she spoke. I had known he was a sick man, but I wasn't expecting this. "Walkers and humans," she continued. "Trophies. He's coming."

My heartbeat quickened at the thought of the Governor coming back here and taking me back with him. Or putting all of our heads in tanks for him to take pride in everyday.

"We should hit him now," I agreed with Glenn. The group turned to look at me, as if forgetting I was there.

"What?" Beth looked at me like I was crazy.

But Glenn was quick to support my statement. "He won't be expecting it. We'll sneak back in and put a bullet in his head."

"We aren't assassins," Carol informed him, but he wasn't listening.

"You know where his apartment is," he said to Michonne, walking up to her eagerly. "You and I could win this tonight."

"Don't even think about leaving me out of this." I took a step forward only thinking better of it after Hershel placed a tender hand on me to hold me back so that he could finish his work.

Glenn looked me over, his one eye still swollen slightly from Merle's beat down in Woodbury. "Hershel just said you have fractured ribs. I don't think you can go in there with us."

My temper was quick to rise, especially when people were telling me what I was and wasn't capable of. "You can barely see out of one eye," I pointed out. "And Michonne isn't exactly up for this either."

Michonne didn't agree with me, but she didn't disagree either.

"Rick won't allow it," Hershel offered up as he was cleaning away his bloodied rags and medical supplies.

Glenn turned to face him. "You really think he's in any position to make that choice."

I furrowed my brow. I hadn't noticed the absence of their supposed leader. He looked out of his mind back when he took me from Woodbury, and I must've been right judging by how everyone glanced around at each other. I could only guess how this world had finally messed up another person's mind. That's when I noticed Carl. His mother died after she had her baby, so her death must have been recent enough that people weren't over it yet. Including Rick.

"We know the Governor is coming back, so why are we still here," Hershel said in his mesmerizingly calm voice. "We can't stay here."

"We can't run," Glenn responded firmly and his expression only softened after Maggie stormed away from the conversation and into her own cell.

Glenn ran a hand through his hair and finally decided against going after the Governor, but we weren't running either, thank God. He drew out a map of the prison for us so we could at least busy ourselves with helpful work.

He was taking Carl down to the tombs they called it. It was a part of the prison that was backed up with Walkers. They had managed to get in and it was only a matter of time before they took over. I argued to go down with the two boys, which they finally agreed upon. I needed somewhere to get out my frustration, and killing Walkers was the only solution right now.

I felt fire coursing through my veins when I killed one after the other. I hadn't gotten the chance to take on so many Walkers in a while. And I really missed it. It felt so natural to be swinging out recklessly at a Biter and to finally give zero fucks about the world.

After countless hours of killing the meander-thaws, which was the therapy I needed, we went back up with the group. Glenn made a decision to go on a run alone, leaving us there to defend ourselves if the Governor appeared. I felt the place was vulnerable without any real fighters around. Again my mind went to Daryl. If he was here we could have stormed Woodbury again and easily fought the Governor. But yet again Merle ruins it all by taking him away.

"We don't need you here."

I looked to my side to see Carl was glowering at me still. He had stared daggers at me the entire time we were in the tombs together. I was honestly surprised he didn't try to push me into them in hopes that I would get bit.

We were standing outside the prison building now, watching Hershel crutch his way to the outer fence to convince Rick to come back to planet earth.

"According to Rick, I'm your best shot at touching the Governor," I smiled mockingly down at him. "Sorry kiddo, but you're stuck with me."

"My dad's wrong. He's been wrong a lot lately."

I peered at him from the corner of my eye. "Dad, huh?" That made more sense of why Rick was so upset about the recent death of Judith and Carl's mom. She was his wife too. She was someone he loved more than anyone, of course he was having a hard time coping.

Carl tilted his wide brimmed hat back to get a better look at me. "Why do you want to be here anyways?"

"Why do you hate me so much kid? What did I do to you?"

His jaw clenched before he answered. "I need to protect my family, and you are someone that puts them in danger."

"Just be glad you still have family to protect." I remembered again his mother and stupidly decided to add to my previous statement. "Well, more family than most of us, anyway."

Carl went silent. I felt bad for the wave of grief that washed over his face as he thought about his mother too. I was an ass, I knew that. It's just how I was sometimes. I finally took my eyes form Hershel and Rick and gave the little man my full attention, tipping his hat lightheartedly. "Listen, I am not trying to hurt your family here. Okay? I just want the Governor dead. And I can't do it all by myself, as much as I wish I could. That's why I'm here."

His expression went back to it's sternness in a second. "We still can't trust you. Doesn't matter if we have common goals."

I grinned at him. "You're one smart kid. Stay that way." I looked back towards the prison building where his baby sister was probably taking her third nap of the day. After Woodbury, I understood taking precautions when it came to strangers. Hell, I respected Carl for the way he wasn't being fooled by nobody. But, him not being entirely convinced I was here for the Governor's head only was pissing me off slightly. Because he was entirely fucking right.

Carl would be my number one difficulty when it came down to robbing the prison. I would have to make sure he didn't fuck it all up for me.

***

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storytime-hoe · 5 years

Text

Tough Love Ch.3

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: Things are finally getting good in this chapter if I do say so myself. I hope you all like it! I get sick of the female interest always seeming weak and like they need a protector all the time so I am trying to make a badass character here but like not too bitchy and annoying. It’s a fine line and I struggle sometimes but like oh well. Enjoy!

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2

Merle Dixon was running his mouth like usual. Spit flung from his mouth as he yelled at Maggie about coming back to the prison with us all. Glenn and Maggie obviously did not want him around them or their family after what he did to them. I didn't blame them a bit. He had done some cruel things to me too, but I never held it against him too much, nothing compared to what the Governor did.

"Well I'll be damned," Merle said, ignoring Maggie and letting his sights land on me from over Rick's shoulder. "You're alive."

I clenched my jaw and prepared for the usual taunting that was always present in conversation with Merle. I stumbled forward to get a better look at him, my legs gaining strength with every step. "Don't sound so disappointed," I snarled at him.

I noticed Daryl shift on his feet and groan at Merle in warning. Daryl wanted his brother to be able to come back to the prison with us, but by the looks of it that wasn't going to work out. And Daryl knew that messing with me right now wasn't going to help his case. I was a high strung pissed off motherfucker after getting my ass kicked by the Governor all to save a couple of Dixons. No one should've been messing with me right now.

"You let her in the group and we are still questioning me?" Merle looked at Rick and threw his hands in my direction. "That right there is some fucked up bullshit."

"We were bringing her because she knew Woodbury," Daryl supplied, trying his best to keep Merle at bay, with no luck.

"She got us to you two. She's proving to be helpful," Rick supported, but I noted that he still looked skeptical of me.

Merle whistled and huffed out a strangled laugh that came from deep in his throat. "That's one poisonous snake you let into your nest, Sheriff." Merle smirked as he looked me up and down. I guess it had been a while since he got to do that and he was taking his time with soaking me in.

"You even know her that well, Merle?" Daryl glanced at me a few times, looking somewhat uneasy since he himself didn't really know me.

"Governor made me look after her."

My eyes widened at his words. "Look after me? He made you beat the shit out of me," I said, pushing by Rick so I was face to face with Merle. That was probably a bad move judging by Merle's playful smile. I shook against the urge to slap it right off of his fucking face.

"All that was just business. Trust me, I've done worse, sweetheart." He leaned back against a tree and rolled his eyes at my unhappy demeanor.

"Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you'll find a brain back there."

Merle snickered, pleased with the reactions he was getting from me.

"You're a coward," I breathed out.

"Maybe. But it all worked out in the end. Found my brother."

I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest. The blood pounded in my ears. "The Governor found him. You didn't find shit. I knew you would never go look for him on your own. You were too happy with the Governor in his perfect little shit-hole to risk looking for him." I pointed my finger at Daryl and kept my eyes on Merle's snarl. "If you had cared about him you would've gone to look for him long before the Governor tossed you together in an arena. He just turned you into a monster too," I yelled out, my voice raising with every word.

"I did what I had to do!" He pushed away from the tree and shouted in my face. His breath snaked its way into my nostrils, making me grimace.

"This is a bunch of bullshit," Daryl stepped in between us, trying to get us to stand down. "Me and my brother are none of your God damn business."

"Then why did he feel the need to tell me all about you two?" He looked a little startled at that. "Tell me, Daryl, how many times has Merle abandoned you before? Huh?"

Daryl was smoldering down at me. He knew Merle must have told me about all the times he left his brother alone back before the world went to shit. I figured Merle told me just about everything about the two of them. His look was dangerous as he tried to shut me up with his squinted glare. His breath blew back the loose strands of hair that hung in my face. I felt my cheeks flush, but I didn't waver from his look until Merle opened his fucking mouth again.

"And where the hell is your brother?" Merle shouted from behind Daryl. He knew what he was doing by saying this. I told him about my younger sibling back when he was pitying himself over his own. My brother was a touchy subject and Merle knew that.

Everyone around us must've sensed the mistake Merle made and the tension that was being added to the area by the second. Glenn and Maggie had stopped putting in their two cents over top of our yelling and for a brief time everyone was silent.

Daryl noticed my fists clench at my sides and my twitch forward towards Merle to knock his lights out. He was too fast to let me by him, though. He immediately squared his shoulders around to block me from Merle completely. Rick had moved to Merle's side in a second to keep him under control if need be. Everyone else stood at attention, waiting for the calm before the storm to end.

"Take it back," I warned Merle through clenched teeth.

Merle laughed harshly from behind Daryl's shoulder before saying, "Or else what? What are you gonna do to me? Huh? You gonna leave me for dead just like you left your little bro?"

My vision was nothing but a sheet of red. My blood boiled over with the rage I felt, something that I thought the Governor had beat out of me. But my spirit and temper were there still, like they had never left.

I wanted nothing more than to rip Merle apart for using something like this against me. I lunged upward and towards Merle in an attempt to reach him from over Daryl. It was a lame attempt I realized after I was caught around the waist by his muscular arm. It's a shame I didn't even get to put a scratch on Merle before he started hauling me away.

The others exploded into chaos that was set off by my lash out. Maggie had her gun out and was shouting at us to keep it down. Michonne stood by with her sword out, the only silent member of the party, and Rick was yelling as he helped Glenn push back Merle who was shouting at me and taking slow forceful steps in my direction, which only made me go even crazier.

Daryl held me off the ground still as I continued to thrash around in his hold in a hopeless effort to get free. "Calm the fuck down," Daryl growled at me over the other shouts and tossed me roughly on my ass.

I ignored the pain that shot through my already damaged body as I hit the dirt hard. But I shot straight back up on my feet, getting right in his face, even though he looked down at me in an intimidating way. "He doesn't give a fuck about you, you know." I used one hand to shove his chest, which didn't affect him at all, while I was trying to ignore Merle's continuous cursing. "He was comfortable in a position at Woodbury where he was living the fucking life. He knew what kind of man the Governor was and yet he listened to everything he was told to do. Merle killed innocent people for that man instead of going out to be with his sibling. Would you have done that?"

"Why don't you shut the hell up?" His voice roared over me in a raspy yell.

My vision blurred with my anger and the beginning of tears that I prayed wouldn't come. "I would've gone to the ends of the earth to find family. But your shitty brother didn't even care enough to look for you for more than a day when you got separated. He found a better offer at Woodbury and his loyalty to the Governor became more important than you."

"You couldn't save your brother, sweetheart!" Merle called out from where Glenn and Rick still restrained him, but my eyes didn't waver from Daryl's cold blue ones. His eyes bore into mine and I could feel the heat from his body washing over me in a wave of frustration. "I saved my little brother. You can't say the same for yours," Merle continued on like this for a while. His continuing taunts only riled me up more, but still I stayed silent. Only the deep breathing of Daryl echoed in my ears as we both tried not to attack each other, the tension in the small space that was between us was holding still.

Merle ruthlessly yelled about my brother and his death over and over again. My heart sunk with each beat. He was right about me. I was not able to save my brother. I couldn't protect him when he needed me. The Walkers took him right from my hands...

I felt like I was at a breaking point when Daryl finally broke his eyes from mine and spun around on Merle. I was shocked beyond belief when he started to yell at him instead of me. "Merle, shut the fuck up! Stop being an asshole for two seconds. You know you haven't any room to judge someone for failing their sibling."

Something dark passed in Merle's eyes. "You think I've failed you? You defending her now, little brother?"

"I ain't defending nobody. I'm trying to vouch for you to stay with us and you're making it real fucking hard."

"Everyone calm down! Now!" Rick glowered at us all and his simple command put a stop to the upheaval.

"He's not coming with us," Glenn insisted more calmly this time, thankfully bringing the argument back around to Merle's fate and no longer on my brother.

I rocked back on my heels, catching my breath after my screaming match with the eldest Dixon. My heart still hammered in my chest as I looked over at Daryl who was taking small strides back and forth, his accusing stare on Merle.

"You let the samari go but not me?" Merle pointed out, motioning to Michonne, who held herself higher and pointed her sword out at him.

I watched Rick yanked the sword from her hands for the second time as they exchanged vicious looks. "She is not in a state to be on her own. We patch her up then she is gone," Rick finalized. His gaze was cold. "She," he said pointing at me, "will be here until we don't need her to fight the Governor anymore."

Merle rolled his eyes. "I know more than that bitch can tell you. I've got the training to fight too."

"Why don't ya shut up?" Daryl yelled in Merle's face again.

This time Merle squared around towards Daryl, ready to put his younger brother in his place. "Shut up yourself! Bunch of pussies you –"

He was cut off by the crack of Rick's gun against his head, knocking him out cold.

Everyone looked down at Merle's limp body in silence. I wasn't going to be the one to say it, but thank-fucking-God Rick shut him up.

Daryl took a few more dangerous heavy breaths as he looked from Rick to Merle again and again. I could tell he wanted to side with his brother, but he was grateful for Rick's timing too.

After everyone had calmed down the group migrated towards the road. Rick, Daryl, Maggie, and Glenn stood off to the side to discuss what was to be done with Merle. Michonne and I were left to stand by the car while Merle was gaining conscience back in the woods still.

I watched the group as they discussed Merle. I only picked up a few things here and there. "Look, the Governor is probably on the way to the prison right now," Daryl said, holding the strap of his crossbow across his shoulder. "Merle knows how he thinks, and we could use the muscle."

Rick must have told him how I knew the Governor well enough too because Daryl glared at me, but I pretended not to notice. I might not have been the Governor's go to guy like Merle, but I saw enough of him. Not to mention everything I had learned about Woodbury prior to my capture. I had the place mentally mapped out with the faces of every resident memorized.

Michonne grunted as she leaned up against the side of the car. The deep gash in her leg was looking worse by the minute, not to mention her other bruises and sores. I knew she went after the Governor back during the rescue mission for Maggie and Glenn. When I first saw her I knew she had a thirst for the Governor's blood, just like me.

"You look like shit," I observed aloud, hoping to stir her up.

She took her time studying me before she answered. "You should see the other guy," she responded with a slight hint of a smile playing at her lips.

I let out a small laugh, something I never thought I would've been able to do again. I sat back on the hood of the car and angled my head towards her. "I think I did see the other guy." I remembered the Governor in the arena waiting for Merle to kill Daryl. The Governor had an eyepatch on that was definitely not there the last time I saw him. "You take his eye out?" I asked for confirmation.

Her face was back to its normal vacant look. "Yeah," she answered, staring at the group still deep in discussion.

I watched them too, infuriatingly unable to make out anything important in their conversation. "Good. That son of a bitch needed a good ass-whooping."

I felt her gaze fall back onto me, but I didn't return it this time. Rick was following Daryl back towards the car.

"We'll fend for ourselves," Daryl yelled back over his shoulder at the others that trailed after him. "It was always Merle and I before this."

Rick put a hand on Daryl's shoulder to stop him momentarily. "You don't have to do this."

Daryl shook his head. "Don't ask me to leave him. I already did that once."

I had heard that story from Merle enough. He always told me how his brother left with the group of people that had abandoned him. Left him chained to the roof in the middle of the city, he always said. Daryl had ditched him.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, watching Daryl pack up a bag to take with him. I felt a twinge of sadness to see him go, even if he did hate my guts. I tried my best to forget the look he gave me when he first found me in Woodbury. There was something about him that intrigued me. When he looked at me I felt like he was reading every thought in my mind. Sure he was a Dixon, but still, my heart sank to see the man who understood me go away. It sank even more when I watched him leave with his snarling asshole of an older brother, arm in arm with each other.

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