strangevamp

[strangevamp]

daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

[strangevamp]

“if you’re sensitive to sounds when sleeping, just use earplugs!” i cannot stress enough that the sensory feeling of having my ears fully blocked AND now being able to hear my own heartbeat and breathing and every other sound that’s happening inside my own body is a million times worse than whatever ambient noise may be keeping me awake

[strangevamp]

unreliable narrator but it's just an aromantic writing romance

[strangevamp]

i dont want kids. "well you might change your mind!" no i wont. "well you could help infertile parents and do surrogacy" pregnancy is a part of why i dont want kids. i dont want that. "then do adoption" still dont want kids. "but what about your partner" im aromantic. "but if you had a partner" im aroace. "you might still change your mind" no i wont. "you might meet that one person who'll change your mind. trust me" I! AM! AROMANTIC! AND! ASEXUAL!

"how can you have dated people if you're ace" shut up shut up shut up shut up

[strangevamp]

what "no sugar added" should mean: the natural sugars of the other ingredients like fruit are the only source of sweetness in this product

what is actually means: we added a fuckton of artificial sweeteners

[strangevamp]

[strangevamp]

I just came up with a really inconvenient, possibly unplayable four-player game: The Evil Advisor

All you need is a completely normal chess board and a deck of cards that you can somehow divide into an even amount of cards that mean "yes" or "no". Out of the four players, only two need to know how to play chess - those play the role of advisor. The other two play as rulers. At the start of the game, both advisors pull a random card from the deck, which dictates whether their goal is to win the game, or lose it. They keep their respective card, showing it to nobody else.

The rulers, who ultimately choose where to move the pieces, always aim to win the chess game, and also know that the advisor may or may not be on their side, and don't know whether to trust the advisor or not.

If the ruler wins the chess game, they win the whole game. An advisor only wins if they reach their own goal - if an advisor's goal was to lose, but the ruler wins, the advisor loses, and vice versa.

[strangevamp]

this guy suuuucksss he can't catch anythingggg

[strangevamp]

God grant me the strength to do the things I enjoy

[strangevamp]

i think a really funny project that a statistics professor could have their class do is like. put a bunch of random, patently untrue demographic statements into a hat. "the most popular tv show among white men ages 24-27 is Bluey." "the majority of business majors are middle children." "bisexual women love hot chips." and each student picks one out of the hat and you gotta like. design a whole study and survey a group of people to specifically achieve that result. you have to prove it true. by whatever means necessary. you have to construct the most biased study possible and wrangle in your exact demographic to make that statement a statistical reality. i think people would learn a lot.

[strangevamp]

[strangevamp]

[strangevamp]

come on gimme things to sort. i'm so fucking good at sorting come on lemme sort

[strangevamp]

i dont know why anyone else misses analog board games, but to me, it's because physical parts let me cheat. there's no moving pieces around when someone isnt looking in a chess app, no sneaking bonus pieces out of the graveyard in checkers, no double drawing cards in go fish.

i spent years developing those skills as a Professional Little Brother. what am i supposed to do now, go back to college? learn how to play games the right way? i mean, who gives a shit? the fun part was never the game, it was the Getting Away With It. or, you know, for the rest of my family, Catching The Bastard. now that was entertainment.

[strangevamp]

taylor 🤝🏻 me

not thinking reputation could be any better

[strangevamp]

happy swiftie independence day to everyone

[strangevamp]

I'm so bad at living, which sucks a lot because I have spent my whole life doing it