strawberrychocotoast

[strawberrychocotoast]

one elf cigarette, husbanded carefully, can burn for 3 or 4 human generations. my boy your great grandpappy bummed this ciggie from the leaf-crowned prince of the splendid dales and it has burned on the mantle of our house ever since. on your 14th nameday, my son, you will puff it at last, and become a man

[strawberrychocotoast]

Here is your mission.

[strawberrychocotoast]

[strawberrychocotoast]

idgaf if my parents are disappointed in me I'm not impressed by them either

[strawberrychocotoast]

they should invent a waking up where you’re not in pain and agony

[strawberrychocotoast]

[strawberrychocotoast]

you're cute and it's tuesday

[strawberrychocotoast]

[strawberrychocotoast]

me when i have to go to my job that i willingly applied for and honestly isn’t even difficult and is on the whole pretty enjoyable

[strawberrychocotoast]

don’t talk to ME about gay yearning. in 2020 during lockdown i lived alone on a boat for three months. i went ashore once a day to work in a marine bio lab. we all had to access the lab at different times so we were never together & risking infection. i was alone all day every day, from my boat to the lab and back to my boat. one day a woman anchored her boat beside mine. we passed each other ashore just once at the harbor and she hit on me and invited me back to her boat. i told her i’d love nothing more but i could not risk exposure because of my weak immune system. she said it was a shame but that she understood. that night i was watering my vegetable garden i grew in 5 gallon buckets up on my roof and playing music on my speaker. “american pie” came on and she climbed up on her roof and shouted all the lyrics to every verse at me across the water and we danced together on our respective roofs. she raised anchor and moved on a few days later.

so yeah i know what it is to die a thousand deaths in an instant while your heart beats on.

[strawberrychocotoast]

women keep coming up to me giggling and blushing and running their finger along the edge of my mighty greatsword like STOP theres literally evil afoot

[strawberrychocotoast]

[strawberrychocotoast]

[strawberrychocotoast]

[strawberrychocotoast]

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

[strawberrychocotoast]

The veil is thick here..... I sense fuck all

[strawberrychocotoast]