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stray-doll · 2 years
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Stray Kids notice that their partner has depression. Hyung line.
Warnings: Mention of depression
Genre: Angst, fluff.
Word Count: 1.9K
Pairing: SKZ x gn!reader
A/N: I write this in the most respectful way, I am diagnosed with depression so I speak from my experience. I am not romanticizing this disease, always go to a health professional, I am not but if you need to talk I hope I can help. This is the first time that I share something I write. English is not my first language so I apologize for the mistakes, please feel free to correct me and help me improve.
Context: You have struggled with depression for years, moderate episodes, ups and downs, the medication keeps you stable but you have not overcome it. Feeling bad recently, you decided to walk away so as not to worry him but it got out of hand, you stopped eating, bathing and even going to university, after several days your friends get worried and call your boyfriend... Don't you answer your phone? Haven't you been to university? You told him that you had many assignments so you would be busy, so you haven't talked much but you sent him a good morning and bedtime message. Concerned, he decides to go to your apartment and when you don't answer, he goes in with the spare key.
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Chan
Not a single light is on, too quiet for it to be a good sign, and there you are lying on your bed, paler than usual. Guilt and paralyzing fear that's what he feels, he immediately hugs you and tries to wake you up "Love wake up please" "I'm here baby please" suddenly he hears a moan, due to weakness you have a hard time understanding what is going on but when you see his face full of concern you can't help but cry.
He stays with you, without forcing you to speak, just stroking your hair and blaming himself for not looking after you, hours and hours in his studio only focused on music. What kind of person leaves his partner like this? "It's not your fault, please don't blame yourself" you say in a whisper loud enough for him to hear. "Of course it is, I promised to always be there in your difficult moments, but here you are, facing everything alone, I'm so sorry." "You couldn't know, actually this is my fault, I haven't told you because it's not easy for me...but I have depression, I thought I could handle it this time but...well...obviously I couldn't and I just made things worse and made you worry..." Your voice trails off slowly.
Depression, that word echoes in his mind, it can't be, not you, many times that ends very badly...many people end up losing the battle. But he'll make sure that is not your case, "Listen to me, I will support and take care of you, okay love? I will read everything I need to understand this disease and I will be by your side, you will never have to face those feelings alone again, I know my schedule is a mess but I'm going to organize my time, you are my priority" his words came out in a rush but you know they’re sincere, you can see it on his eyes full of worries and tears but also filled with love and hope.
Minho:
Nothing can be okey if when he enters your apartment the first thing he sees is your desperate cat crying and trying to guide him to your room, your other cat is next to you in bed taking care of you, you haven't gotten up for days and even though they are what you love the most, this disease does not let you take care of them or yourself, you have not fed them but they couldn't care less, they are accompanying you faithfully.
This is enough to break Minho's heart, everything must be terribly wrong for you to have neglected your babies, you love them as much as he loves Sonnie, Donnie and Dori. His knees fall to the ground and his face examines you closely, your breathing is very weak but it's fine, now he's with you to take care of you, stroking your hair he manages to wake you up "Don't worry love, I'm here, I'll prepare something light for you to eat, okey?
What happened? What day is it? When did you call Minho to come to your apartment? The confusion is visible on your face but he manages to reassure you with a sweet smile "Everything is fine, don't stress, I'll be right back" He goes to the kitchen, prepares something quick but delicious and takes care of your cat's needs... and then, he collapses, how could everything escalate so much? How long have things been this bad and he hasn't noticed? The calm face he woke you up with breaks revealing the sadness that brings him down, why are you facing this alone? Why didn't you trust him? Hearing your faint footsteps approaching the kitchen, he gets up, wipes away his tears, and focuses his energy on serving you. "You must not get up, let's go to bed, I’ll bring you your favorite ramen and you will feel better" despite his sweet voice you can see the concern in his tearing eyes "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you, I thought I'd be fine in a few days, I... The thing is… I just…"
Picking you up to take you to bed he says you don't owe him an explanation and although it's true you want to share it with him, gathering courage you tell him everything, your diagnosis years ago and how a few weeks ago you started to feel hopeless and tired, then being the kind and loving man that Minho is, he opens his heart to you, he thanks you for trusting him and strengthen trust and communication between your both, he is terrified by the idea of ​​losing you and although he doesn't want to worry you, he tells you so, because being absolutely honest will help you understand and support each other and it's fine, It's not easy, but with his help you're going to be okay.
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Changbin:
No, no, no, this can't be, seeing you on the sofa, wearing the same clothes as in his last video call days ago confirms the worst, you've been very bad and he hasn't been there for you. Panic, his mind It's a mess, what should he do? With clumsy movements because of the nerves but with delicacy, as if you were made of glass, he picks you up and prepares to go with you to the hospital, a doctor must check you and make sure you are okay, once he lays you down in the back, he runs to the driver's seat and start the car, the noise wakes you up and your confusion could not be greater, what the hell is going on? A car? The last thing you remember is watching TV on your sofa, you sit down weakly and you recognize your boyfriend so you touch his shoulder and this makes him stop the car immediately, he turns to see you and that's when you notice his eyes full of tears and the altered state that is reflected in his face, he quickly gets out of the car to accompany you in the back, although he has always been stronger than you, in your current state it does not mean any effort for him to accommodate you in his lap and hold you tight "Baby please...I can't breathe" he apologizes and gives you some space then you can see it, the sweet smile he always has while doing aegyo to make you laugh has changed to eyes full of sadness and worry, the important thing is that you are fine but... How to face what is happening? Should he ask what happened? Should you tell him everything?
Minutes go by just hugging each other and being grateful to be together, finally he decides to talk "do you want to go home? I was thinking about going to a hospital or we can go get something to eat, I buy whatever my love wants"...Although he is very affected he just thinks about what you want, what did you do to deserve such a sweet man? "Let's go home, we should talk" you try to say it softly to make it sound less serious than it really is, but it still sounds scary to him, seeing that he doesn't move you decide that maybe you shouldn't wait till get home… "Depression" You said "What?" If confusion had a face, it would be Changbin's right now "I'm depressed, my meds ran out some time ago and I thought I could be fine without them, I'm sick of taking medicine every morning and not being able to function like a normal person without those pills"
Ok you're depressed and you never told him, he never realized it, depression is a disease so you are sick and he didn’t know it, how can he process all of this suddenly? That lost and desolate look on his face is what you always wanted to avoid, behind that strong man there is such a warm heart, you knew it would not be easy for him, you feel guilty and you hate being sick even more, he deserves someone strong like he, despite his confusion, can see the worries filling your head. "It's alright love, I'm here, okay? Everything will be alright" he delicately kisses your forehead and caresses your back, he always makes you feel safe in his arms, you know you'll be alright, now you know.
Hyunjin:
He couldn't be more agitated and nervous, Kkami also gets anxious as soon as they enter your apartment, he starts barking, when they find you in bed Kkami starts licking your face, hyunjin freezes, you're paler and very thin, you must wear days without eating, the room is a mess, Kkami's barking is heard more and more distant but suddenly you open your eyes and then he can get rid of that fear that paralyzed him, you're awake, you're with him, that's the important thing, now he has to take care of you and make sure you're okay.
Before you can understand what is happening you feel how he wraps you in his arms and your neck feels wet from his tears, despite not wanting to cry and knowing that he must be strong because you obviously need him, relief and guilt are mixed without allowing him to contain his feelings "I'm sorry, love, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" he apologizes endlessly and even if it seems like it shouldn't be like that, nothing could ease you more, he's with you, he cares about you, of course doesn't make you happy to see him worried but your episode this time took you to the bottom and let you so insecure, the negative thoughts were so many that reality is difficult to identify but his voice and his kisses remind you that he loves you and that gives you strength to continue... But to continue you must be honest with him, perhaps if you had told him before things would not have gone so far, you take your time in his arms to find the courage and tell him that dark part of your story, he listens to you attentively and his face shows the sadness he feels but you both know it's healthy to talk "nothing's wrong love, thanks for trusting me, we'll get ahead ok? It's not easy but we will find the cure, it's not your fault to be like this, remember when I had to take a break and go through very dark times? hmm? You were there to help me see the beauty of the world and find my way, now I'm going to take care of you, Kkami and I are going to take care of you and together we're going to find the warmth and light in the world" and Kkami decides to confirm it by licking your face and barking but this time without worries.
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I'll upload the Maknae line in a few days. I hope you like it, stay healthy and stay stay. -Stray doll ♡
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stray-doll · 2 years
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I really want to start writing scenarios about SKZ and maybe about ITZY and BLACKPINK too. I'm really into soft and fluff but also mature content. I'll post something this week, but would love to get some requests.
-Stray Doll ♡
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