strbyr0t

[strbyr0t]

I honestly wish I could kill myself. I got married to him and now he wants nothing to do with me. I don't even know why we got married in the first place. Im all alone. I cant believe I ditched everyone for such an asshole.

[strbyr0t]

it is sososososoosososososopainful being in recovery. it feels so forced. I just want to make him happy but i feel like he'd be sm happier if i was thinner and prettier. grrrr get me out of recoveryyyyy ughhghghghghgh

[strbyr0t]

🎀What to do instead of 3ating🎀

1. Go for a walk

2. Paint your nails

3. Drink water

4. Read a book

5. Study

6. Online shop

7. Do yoga or pilates

8. Check the scale

9. Drink coffee or tea

10. Watch a movie

11. Play videogames

12. Draw something

13. Put on make-up

14. Take a shower

15. Watch a series

16. Do your hair

17. Do a jigsaw puzzle

18. Play board games

19. Listen to music

20. Paint

21. Clean something

22. Drink diet soda

23. Go somewhere public

24. Workout

25. Do laundry or dishes

~~~~~

[strbyr0t]

I miss being sick and pretty. I hate that I got forced into recovery and I dont look like the pretty girls he works with. I know theyre nicer than I am and he doesn’t know them like he knows me. He use to know a pretty thin nice girl and now im the fat mean wife he hates coming home to. I want to be sick pretty and kind again.

[strbyr0t]

I laid in bed for half the day scared I was gonna eat but now im scared im gonna retain water so my fatass should probably get up now

[strbyr0t]

you guys will never catch me posting f@t5p0 because the people in those images are real people with real feelings just because i am feeling bad about my body doesn’t give me the right to make someone else feel bad about themselves

[strbyr0t]

im so fuxcking fat I wanna eat so badly. God I developed such bad eating habits while in recovery like this shit shouldnt be so hard. The old me would've done this no fucking problemfjjuhjuh

[strbyr0t]

Im literally starving myself to look better for you. But okay whatever.

[strbyr0t]

I hate that I have to beg for his attention whenever hes mad. Its not my fault and im literally begging him to just talk. This is so humiliating and I do it every time because I love him so much and I just can’t go without talking to him.

[strbyr0t]

I might have to die at this point

[strbyr0t]

౨ৎ pro 4n4 tip:

every time you get a cr4ving, do not give in. log each one you get throughout your day in your notes app and before bed calculate how many c4Is it is. you’ll be able to see how much f4tt3r you could have been today without self control.

[strbyr0t]

Genuinely does anyone know if I can lose like 5-10 lbs in a week???

[strbyr0t]

Nvm im fat my whole family and the dress shop told me im fat apparently so

[strbyr0t]

Im so disgusted with myself.

[strbyr0t]

The fact that he may not find me attractive anymore is so haunting. Like I love him so much and I think he so handsome and im so lucky to have him and he may not even feel the same. I feel so disgusting im just such a big fat fucking tub of lard and I know he would rather have someone MUCH prettier than me.

[strbyr0t]

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

[strbyr0t]