streaks-of-scarlet-sunset - Tumblr blog

[streaks-of-scarlet-sunset]

Come to my house and I'll vivisect the skin from your bones and burn it in front of you. I'll cut off your feet and pass them through running water for hours while you watch.

(ooc: this rp is long over but i thought i would publish some of these because they are, frankly, contributions to the art)

[streaks-of-scarlet-sunset]

so a lot of things happened and they were very overwhelming, and I did not end up posting here for a very long time for which I'm unfortunately not allowed to say I'm sorry.

I don't think it would be safe to say much and if you're following this blog then you should probably not be

but it's been years and years and I'm ready to say that I'm yellow.

and coming back here feels just a little like saying it to my younger self, who wouldn't have heard it anyway but whatever.

a lot of people tried to help, some of them made it a lot worse, but some people tried. Things were overwhelming and terrifying and I don't owe anyone anything and I can't apologise but I do want to tell those people about this.

I'm yellow. I help make robots because I was right about one thing, nobody like the person who blogged here should exist. And if anyone's still listening on this dumbass website I wanted to say that they don't, any more.

thank you for the math games.

[streaks-of-scarlet-sunset]

[ooc: An anonymous person sends Karia a link to a photoset of a nest of baby birds with bright red feathers.] you said thinking baby reds were cute upset you, so i thought these would be better. they are small, round, young, big eyed, and fuzzy, like babies, and they're bright red colored but they can't be polluted cause animals aren't pollutants. no gross stuff, only tiny redpuffs.

those are actually incredibly sweet and lovely and adorable and perfect, and I love them and they make me feel so many emotions tiny eyes and fluffy feathers!! and squeaks!!! and the awkward little wings!!!I almost don't want to look at them, they are too lovely and I do not deserve them and I don't want to make them dirty, but they are kind of exactly what I need right nowyou are kind and lovely to send things like this, thank you so so much, they are so small and clean and pure

[streaks-of-scarlet-sunset]

I know your secret.

I’m sorry, I’m not sure what this is supposed to be referring to but I hope I am not accidentally obscuring the fact that I am red? I know most reds would be trying to keep it secret but if there is anything I can do to make it more obvious please please let me know since nobody should ever be deceived into interacting with filth

[streaks-of-scarlet-sunset]

[infraviolet-ultrared] Whatever the person did isn't your fault, kid. You didn't have the power to stop them and they were counting on that. If they hurt anyone (including you) or you think they will in the future you should tell someone.

I realised that what I did was disgusting and awful and that there might be victims who I hurt, who I needed to confess to, because they might have been touched by a person I touched, so I've told one person at leastit's my fault, I'm evil sewage and everything I touch is poisoned, everyone who comes into contact with me will be hurt, how could it not be my fault?I don't think I can really talk about it much but it doesn't matter since nothing I can ever do will make it okay, at the end of the day I'm red and there's only so long I can successfully mimic a moral compass no matter how hard I try

[streaks-of-scarlet-sunset]

It was your fault.

of course it's my fault, I'm evil garbage and everything I touch turns to filth

[streaks-of-scarlet-sunset]

One thing you could do to help people is to tell us about all the evil things reds do that they normally keep secret! Since we don't get to go into red districts most of the time they might be doing evil things that we wouldn't even know about.

I am so incredibly sorry but I really don’t think you want to know

you want to be able to sleep at night without thinking about that

please please please do your best not to think about us and just get rid of us as soon as you can and make the world clean

[streaks-of-scarlet-sunset]

reds just need to get it through our heads that we can’t ever ever ever ever be clean people because we’re evil, especially me, I don’t know how I ever thought I was less evil than other reds, I’m the worst red and I should suffer

[streaks-of-scarlet-sunset]

did something happen?

I don’t know

I can’t talk about that

I don’t think anything happened that changes the overall level of horror of reds existing and touching things

[streaks-of-scarlet-sunset]

does anyone know what I’m supposed to do if a person might have done something they shouldn’t but I can’t tell my organizer because it’s all my fault

[streaks-of-scarlet-sunset]

spring is the actual worst I hate it I hate it I hate it

[streaks-of-scarlet-sunset]

please actually eat literal shit. everybody in your district suffers because of you.

I don't think you understand everything I eat is literal shit, it is sewer garbage, it is filth, because I am literal shit, and everything I touch becomes sewer garbage, and I exist in filth I cannot actually become any dirtier than I already am, because my bones are made of pollution, and I could not become clean even if all the food ever served to me was pure as the driven snowI am red and to be red is to be disgusting and abhorrent and evil, and nothing I eat could ever be dirtier than the horror that is my actual flesh

[streaks-of-scarlet-sunset]

I'm so so so sorry but I think that's just how it is

they lie

they lied to you and promised you things you can never ever have

they lie because they're evil and they care about nothing other than their power trip

the stories like yours add up and they have to acknowledge it eventually, they really do, because nobody feels any different and eventually someone somewhere has to notice that it does not work

cleaning does not make us people

it's all just a sad, stupid, pointless lie.

I finally finished being decontaminated and I don’t feel different :(

People said this would make me a person :) but I don’t feel any more persony :( :( :(

Does this mean it didn’t work? Am I going to have to go through it again? That would be really unpleasant but it would definitely be better than the worst-case alternative.

[streaks-of-scarlet-sunset]

Chat log: streaks-of-scarlet-sunset and a-faraway-dream

cw: rape

Keep reading

[streaks-of-scarlet-sunset]

what the actual everloving fuck

[streaks-of-scarlet-sunset]

I guess I just... assumed? that I did the spring thing last year? I had a lot of feelings about various things and a bit of a growth spurt and I thought well, obviously, I'm glad I'm not at all interested in touching another red because they're disgusting, this is just me being hypersensitive, and like stuff was beginning to go wrong and a lot of stuff was in turmoil and I never thought

apparently spring is uh potentially more than just having a lot of feelings

I hate all of these feelings they're disgusting, juvenile reds are sewage, and sewage is not cute, I fucking hate myself, I want to hold all the toddlers and simultaneously want to run screaming from the toddlers

how does anyone cope with this every year

[streaks-of-scarlet-sunset]

Miolee is full of awful activist reds who don't care who they hurt so long as they get to spread the awful lie that they're as good as people

the Rivikni government had compassion for people who were harmed by reds and needed the reds to be gone to feel safe and happy or get catharsis or be confident that there'd be no risk of further harm, I really don't think it requires a more complex explanation than that, it's just good to exterminate sewage, it doesn't require thinking that we're people and having compassion for us, it just requires knowing that trash is bad and incinerating trash is good

@seethebestineveryone

The more I think about it, the less the Rivik thing makes sense to me.

It’s obviously incredibly Amentanitarian to prevent people with memories as traumatic as those of Rivikni reds to come into existence. It’s probably not unethical to make people out of, say, Meti reds – whenever a person is created, no matter what method was used, there’s always a risk that traumatic things will happen to them, and that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to have kids. But Rivik causes enough experiences that would be traumatic in people to occur to reds that actually creating people that remember them happening to them would basically be like creating people that you know will be horribly tortured. It demonstrates exceptional compassion towards people made from reds that Rivik’s government was willing to euthanize the reds rather than allow that to happening. Given that this resulted in their deaths, that makes them even more selfless.

But it seems kind of weird to me that the Rivikni government would care that much about people resulting from reds. It doesn’t really fit with what I know about Rivik – most countries that care about people resulting from reds are better at adopting procedures to benefit them once they become people even while they’re still red, like introducing body cameras to prevent people who remember the experience of being assaulted from coming into existence. I wonder if Miolee bribed them or something? Miolee seems to be most likely to care that much about people resulting from reds.